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(KSTU FOX 13)   Utah mom upset after school tells 6th graders they can't refuse when asked to dance. "My daughter keeps coming to me and saying, 'I can't say no to a boy'. That's the message kids are getting"   ( fox13now.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Teacher, Richard, Kanesville Elementary, Education, Weber School District, bad message, sixth-grade daughter, Lesson plan  
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5188 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2018 at 9:05 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-09 08:20:04 AM  
Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?
 
2018-02-09 08:29:42 AM  

Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?


It isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...
 
2018-02-09 08:50:38 AM  
"No" means "yes".
 
2018-02-09 08:50:42 AM  
hubiestubert: isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...

Wait. I thought it led to the demasculation and ensuing feminization of men as a gender, which are the first steps toward a future in which men are second-class citizens essentially treated as slaves. Or are you saying that witchcraft and lesbianism is a natural part of that new order?
 
2018-02-09 09:00:50 AM  

Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?


In general, or in Utah?
 
2018-02-09 09:08:50 AM  
This is what you guys voted for. Good people on both sides. Rational thought ejected out the window.
 
2018-02-09 09:09:06 AM  
Mrs Pyle!  Harry keeps poking me with something in his pants!

Had to dance with Mrs. Pyle.

/another unrepressed memory.
 
2018-02-09 09:09:07 AM  
A perfect illustration of the society-undermining  difference between equality of opportunity (all can ask all) and equality of outcome (all must say yes to all)
 
2018-02-09 09:09:49 AM  
Utah. 6th grade.

Shouldn't be living on a compound as someones 5th wife by now?
 
2018-02-09 09:11:30 AM  
On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the other hand: A no-refusal rule now == rape? Because that's the road this article wants us to head down.

/I took a lot of rejection as a kid.
 
2018-02-09 09:11:46 AM  
"He basically just said they've had this dance set up this way for a long time and they've never had any concern before," she said of his response.

*punch*
 
2018-02-09 09:14:06 AM  
The standard for social dance is you may deny any dance, but you must then sit out that song.  Goes for leads or follows who are asked.  Honestly, I think it's fair.  You don't have to dance with everyone, but if you want to dance with a specific someone, you should ask them, not reject people until you get what you want.  It's not about "you don't have control" but more "you have to be gracious to everyone".

For argentine tango there's a whole standard to it.  Leads will look at follows sitting around the floor.  If they make eye contact, it means they'll dance and the lead walks up and asks them.  If they avert their eyes, the lead knows it'll be rejection and never asks.  Once you agree to dance, you dance 3 songs.
 
2018-02-09 09:14:53 AM  

ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.


On the flip side, a little rejection once in a while might prevent people from growing up and thinking they are the smartest, best-looking, most talented, most successful person with the hugest audiences and highest ratings ever and most votes ever*.

Sometimes, it's good to hear "no".
 
2018-02-09 09:15:11 AM  
Being unable to say no is a terrible situation for a young girl at a middle school dance, but reverse the genders and add ten years and you get

i.ytimg.comView Full Size


All roads lead to Matt Greoning
 
2018-02-09 09:15:14 AM  
Some people just don't like to dance regardless of who is asking.
 
2018-02-09 09:15:29 AM  
Just keep stepping on their feet a lot and they might stop asking. Or take the lead and spin them, dip them and drop them.
 
2018-02-09 09:15:30 AM  

gyorg: The standard for social dance is you may deny any dance, but you must then sit out that song.  Goes for leads or follows who are asked.  Honestly, I think it's fair.  You don't have to dance with everyone, but if you want to dance with a specific someone, you should ask them, not reject people until you get what you want.  It's not about "you don't have control" but more "you have to be gracious to everyone".

For argentine tango there's a whole standard to it.  Leads will look at follows sitting around the floor.  If they make eye contact, it means they'll dance and the lead walks up and asks them.  If they avert their eyes, the lead knows it'll be rejection and never asks.  Once you agree to dance, you dance 3 songs.


Also, there are exceptions to the standard.  You're not supposed to monopolize a single person's time by asking them over and over.  If you break that part of the social contract, they have every right to break their part and say 'no' then dance with someone else.  It's all a social balance.  Exactly what people _need_ to learn.
 
2018-02-09 09:15:41 AM  

Pocket Ninja: hubiestubert: isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...

Wait. I thought it led to the demasculation and ensuing feminization of men as a gender, which are the first steps toward a future in which men are second-class citizens essentially treated as slaves. Or are you saying that witchcraft and lesbianism is a natural part of that new order?


This sounds like a job for InfoWars!

Quick, to the derpmobile!
 
2018-02-09 09:16:34 AM  
What if a boy asks another boy to dance?
 
2018-02-09 09:18:09 AM  
So, the boys can't just hang behind the gym and smoke while the girls dance in a circle around their shoes?
 
2018-02-09 09:18:22 AM  
What was wrong with the way it used to be?

Boys stood on one side of the gym, girls on the other and the gym was filled with sweat, fear & regret.

You know, kind of like marriage.
 
2018-02-09 09:19:19 AM  
Utah, huh?
#shockedface
 
2018-02-09 09:19:29 AM  
Maybe this is a good rule for giving valentine cards (everyone gets one or you don't give them at all) but not a dance?

It is an issue of consent. This is why you don't force children to hug people they don't want to. It's their body and they get to set boundaries.
 
2018-02-09 09:20:30 AM  
Finally, back to traditional values.
 
2018-02-09 09:21:12 AM  

Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?


In Utah it is.
 
2018-02-09 09:21:22 AM  

Gubbo: Utah. 6th grade.

Shouldn't be living on a compound as someones 5th wife by now?


Kid Sister Wives!
 
2018-02-09 09:21:32 AM  

big pig peaches: What if a boy asks another boy to dance?


Kindness and inclusiveness does not work like that in Utah.
 
2018-02-09 09:21:39 AM  
Won't someone think of the uggos ?
 
2018-02-09 09:21:51 AM  
Story is dildos
 
2018-02-09 09:22:34 AM  
"I don't take no for an answer."

"How rapey of you."

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-09 09:22:43 AM  
I was scared to death to talk to girls until I got to college. Would knowing they couldn't laugh in my face if I asked them to dance made things easier? Yes. But I was better off forcing myself to put myself out there. Growing up is difficult. We don't do kids favors by giving them a pass for the tough times.
 
2018-02-09 09:23:12 AM  
I've never been to a school dance so I was unaware that there were protocols in place. I'm in my 50s so it may be too late for me.
 
2018-02-09 09:23:41 AM  

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?

It isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...


... go on
 
2018-02-09 09:24:19 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the flip side, a little rejection once in a while might prevent people from growing up and thinking they are the smartest, best-looking, most talented, most successful person with the hugest audiences and highest ratings ever and most votes ever*.

Sometimes, it's good to hear "no".


And conversely, always being rejected by your peers can destroy a person. Sometimes one yes can make a huge difference in the world.

The yes policy is for the benifit of people who are shy, low confidence and people who are snobby, pompous.

The popular people might learn the unpopular aren't so bad. And popularity is nothing.
 
amb
2018-02-09 09:27:06 AM  
I remember in dance classes back in jr high. You picked a partner for the entire duration, but the teachers made you switch partners a lot. You ended up dancing with everyone. in hindsight not as traumatic as it seemed to a young lad.

Square dancing was for the 7th graders. Ballroom for tge 8th grade.
 
2018-02-09 09:27:32 AM  

ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the other hand: A no-refusal rule now == rape? Because that's the road this article wants us to head down.

/I took a lot of rejection as a kid.


DNRTFA, but I'm thinking the same thing. I've got two kids - one if 5th and one in 3rd grade. Their school does an amazing job of making sure everyone is included and there is no bullying. They encourage the kids to be kids and do wonders with wall flowers. My kids still tell me new stories that blow me away at how much thought the teachers put into this kind of thing.

The Utah school sounds CLOSE to something our school would do. On paper it would eliminate anyone from being rejected. However, in a traditional courtship ritual event (I sound like doc brown) AND the fact that they are in 6th grade (as opposed to a much younger and innocent year) then you could see how this could be taken the wrong way.

Kids do have to learn that things can be tough - maybe a 6th grade dance is the place to start. Then again, maybe that's the start of adult complexes which scar people for life. Not my specialty. Any farker an expert in this and care to share?
 
2018-02-09 09:27:52 AM  
I refused to square dance in the fourth grade because I didn't like the girl they paired me up with. I got to sit for four weeks and watch, and I got an F in PE that quarter.
 
2018-02-09 09:27:55 AM  
If this were a school with in a Muslim community, the trolls would be going on about how this is Sharia Law creeping in on America.

But since this is Christian Utah, I'm guessing we won't hear a peep from them.

/gotta love the bigot double standard
 
2018-02-09 09:28:04 AM  
Oh. Hell. No.
 
2018-02-09 09:28:21 AM  

doglover: Being unable to say no is a terrible situation for a young girl at a middle school dance, but reverse the genders and add ten years and you get

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

All roads lead to Matt Greoning


And that's where the road ends.

img.fark.netView Full Size


Perhaps it would be safer to take the road less traveled.
 
2018-02-09 09:31:10 AM  

Znuh: This is what you guys voted for. Good people on both sides. Rational thought ejected out the window.


I don't recall seeing this on the ballot.
 
2018-02-09 09:31:18 AM  

Electrify: If this were a school with in a Muslim community, the trolls would be going on about how this is Sharia Law creeping in on America.

But since this is Christian Utah, I'm guessing we won't hear a peep from them.

/gotta love the bigot double standard


They don't have Muslims in Utah?
 
2018-02-09 09:31:28 AM  

ajgeek: /I took a lot of rejection as a kid.


My kid has no obligation to make your kid feel a certain way. Not his job.
 
2018-02-09 09:31:41 AM  

FuLinHyu: filled with sweat, fear & regret.


Gah! You were there too!!!

You forgot to mention there was that one friend who would throw caution into the wind and dance with a girl, we would bust his chops, and secretly try to imagine how awesome it would be if we had the balls to just ASK her.

Also, you now have the song Lonesome Town stuck in my head.
 
2018-02-09 09:31:42 AM  

ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the other hand: A no-refusal rule now == rape? Because that's the road this article wants us to head down.

/I took a lot of rejection as a kid.


I took a lot of rejection as a kid, but then realized that, yes, in fact, I was a freak, and moreover that my parents were freaks. Once I realized this, I looked for better and more socially competent role models and by taking their lead, I was able to stop being a freak. Those same people who used to think I was a freak now call me normal. Put better, instead of lashing out at society, look for role models who are normal and emulate them instead of your parents.
 
2018-02-09 09:32:07 AM  

Electrify: If this were a school with in a Muslim community, the trolls would be going on about how this is Sharia Law creeping in on America.

But since this is Christian Utah, I'm guessing we won't hear a peep from them.

/gotta love the bigot double standard


Fundamentalist Christians don't dance.
 
2018-02-09 09:32:22 AM  

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?

It isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...


My sister knew this girl who thought she would be cool and ask boys to dance. Last I heard she was living in northern California, eating vegetables and wearing sandals WITH socks.
 
2018-02-09 09:32:40 AM  
I don't see the problem. They're just preparing the girls for the lifetime of subservience for which they were meant. It's best they learn the lesson early before they start getting crazy ideas in their heads. Next week in Civics class, they'll teach what an important responsibility is is to vote, and to always get their husband's approval on their choice before making such an important decision.
 
2018-02-09 09:33:04 AM  
dbialac:

You will make a delicious mutton curry.
 
2018-02-09 09:35:11 AM  
100% inclusiveness culture meets #MeToo, and this is what happens.

Solution: Girls can say no to the guys but have to give them a "You Tried!" participation ribbon.
 
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