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(Lifehacker)   Oh, Fark. Yet another parenting advice article giving out...good information? We are truly in the darkest timeline. Because I used Purple   ( offspring.lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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6380 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2018 at 10:20 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-02-09 09:39:15 AM  
17 votes:

Tr0mBoNe: Take a look, it's in a book.


What are you, dead?  It's on the web.
2018-02-09 10:45:53 AM  
15 votes:
Also, Calvin and Hobbes dad answers work as well:

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2018-02-09 10:35:18 AM  
15 votes:
Tried this with my four-year-old the other day. She ended up debunking two of Newton's laws, so that's the last time we'll be trying out THAT life hack. In our house we obey the laws of thermodynamics, thankyouverymuch.
2018-02-09 09:48:34 AM  
14 votes:
What doom hath I wrought?
2018-02-09 10:27:13 AM  
13 votes:
george-and-neal-are-awesome.infoView Full Size

TL;DR - It's all about discovery.
2018-02-09 10:46:49 AM  
11 votes:
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
2018-02-09 10:28:22 AM  
10 votes:
Why can't I eat gummy worms for breakfast?
FKCK YOU!!

Why are planets round?

GO FKCK YOUSELF

Why does your face look like that?
FKCK OFF YOU LITTLE shiat!!

/parenting, NAILED IT.
2018-02-09 09:00:28 AM  
9 votes:
Take a look, it's in a book.
2018-02-09 10:49:42 AM  
8 votes:

xalres: /just started going over the three states of matter with her, we'll see if it sticks.


My two-year old was able to figure out the three states of matter on her own. Wet. Wind. Ouch.
2018-02-09 09:42:15 AM  
8 votes:

Tr0mBoNe: Take a look, it's in a book.


Does that question vex ya?  Just ask Alexa!
2018-02-09 09:41:47 AM  
7 votes:

Tr0mBoNe: Take a look, it's in a book.


Got a query?  Just ask Siri!
2018-02-09 11:38:58 AM  
6 votes:
Dad? Why is the sky blue?
- When the dinosaurs died, their blood turned to steam, and dinosaur blood was blue.
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2018-02-09 11:09:42 AM  
6 votes:

emarche: Love that virtually every article published on that site is a command: "Stop doing X/Y/Z". Whole lotta clickbait goin' on.


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2018-02-09 09:53:35 AM  
6 votes:
Kids already know...

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2018-02-09 10:42:32 AM  
5 votes:

edrick: "Because you disappoint me" is usually a good answer.


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...also works
2018-02-09 10:38:54 AM  
5 votes:
"Because you disappoint me" is usually a good answer.
2018-02-09 02:19:54 PM  
4 votes:

Mikey1969: Z-clipped: Hey farkers,

Why does the Earth rotate more slowly around its axis in the summer (in the northern hemisphere) and more quickly in the winter?

You're telling me that half of the Earth rotates faster than the other half? Yeah, I am kinda keen to learn this one. Please proceed...


Haven't you ever looked at a globe, specifically, at the equator?   It's quite clear that there is a seam there.
2018-02-09 10:59:32 AM  
4 votes:
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2018-02-09 10:30:15 AM  
4 votes:
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2018-02-09 11:06:03 AM  
3 votes:

Just another Heartland Weirdass: My standsrd response set: because i said so; no; i dont know;  your mom.no, i dont know your mom.


More fun if you adjust punctuation.
2018-02-09 10:57:26 AM  
3 votes:
Can't use your noodle?  Just say, "Hey, Google!"
2018-02-09 10:33:50 AM  
3 votes:
Good advice, especially because a lot of the times, the parents give the wrong answers.  "Why is the sky blue daddy?"  "Because Jesus made it that way as a warning to the gay people honey."
2018-02-09 10:25:37 AM  
3 votes:
I encourage my 10 year old to seek answers himself, and even when I'm providing information, I do it in the form of asking him questions.

Whenever I tell him to look something up on the Internets, I always ask, "How much of the Internet is lies?"
"About 90%," he replies.
"Okay. Carry on."
2018-02-09 12:06:42 PM  
2 votes:
tse2.mm.bing.netView Full Size

For answers to life's most important questions.
2018-02-09 11:35:41 AM  
2 votes:
1. If your toddler is asking you "why" over and over they are farking with you.  You are a bad parent and should feel bad.

2. No one really knows why the sky is blue.  I was told in grade school it was reflecting the ocean. For years I would stare at the bath tub and try to figure out why the water was blue.

3. Ya if you actually know the answer, try giving the correct answer.
2018-02-09 11:34:16 AM  
2 votes:

steelydanfan: [img.fark.net image 154x54]

[img.fark.net image 215x234]


You do of course realize that "LIFEHACKER" is an anagram of "CHARLIE FLEK", right?

Obviously a reference to Bela's lesser known younger brother.
2018-02-09 11:30:45 AM  
2 votes:
Dear Lifehacker.

Shut up.
2018-02-09 10:57:20 AM  
2 votes:

winedrinkingman: Good advice, especially because a lot of the times, the parents give the wrong answers.  "Why is the sky blue daddy?"  "Because Jesus made it that way as a warning to the gay people honey."


I read that too quick and my immediate thought was, "What's gay honey, and how fabulous is it?"
2018-02-09 10:44:30 AM  
2 votes:

The Yattering: The only right answer to "Why is the sky blue?" is "It's not."


You left out smiling smugly and saying "seems that way, doesn't it?"
2018-02-09 10:32:14 AM  
2 votes:
Child: "Why is the sky blue?"
Dad: "How the hell should I know? Do I look like Buddha or sumpin'? Go ask your mum*."

/ * - or other dad if that applies
2018-02-09 10:31:28 AM  
2 votes:
How the hell much time does the author think I have!? I'll just say "you're right; it is a big blue crayon" and move on with my life.
2018-02-09 10:27:58 AM  
2 votes:
What, you want me to actually converse with the little shiats?
2018-02-09 10:24:38 AM  
2 votes:

blatz514: Kids already know...

[img.fark.net image 487x550]


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2018-02-09 02:53:41 PM  
1 vote:

Z-clipped: Mikey1969: Z-clipped: Mikey1969: Z-clipped: Hey farkers,

Why does the Earth rotate more slowly around its axis in the summer (in the northern hemisphere) and more quickly in the winter?

You're telling me that half of the Earth rotates faster than the other half? Yeah, I am kinda keen to learn this one. Please proceed...

No.  I was just trying to preemptively answer the obvious first question "when it's winter, wheresmartass?".

Well, the answer is basically "the wind".

Why does a figure skater spin faster when (s)he pulls her arms and legs closer to the center of his/her body, and slow down when (s)he extends them away from it?


We must all conserve angular momentum -- it's the law! :)
2018-02-09 02:24:55 PM  
1 vote:

darwinpolice: dittybopper: Actually this approach is what we took with the littlebopper.  Every single thing, no matter how mundane, was a learning experience.

My parents did this a lot with me, as well. Although I think it was less because it is a good learning experience, and more because it was a good way to get me out of the "Why? Why? Why?" cycle.


Well, we kinda knew we'd only get one chance at it, and that once chance was like hitting the lottery, so we consciously made our best effort.

We succeeded beyond our wildest dreams, too, because he's now 14 and knows everything.  Just ask him.
2018-02-09 12:09:35 PM  
1 vote:
This approach may work with kids that aren't clever. My kid is a quick thinker, so I'll keep going with my solution...

Which is to give him a totally adult answer, sparing no detail, while the wife tries to say "he's only a kindergartener".

I don't even care how much he retains, it's about answering the next 20 questions all in one batch, as well as working on his ability to listen and retain more than a sound bite.

He's got an excellent memory, which also helps.

Was watching a car video when he was five, and it showed a retractable spoiler. He asked, "does that make it more aerodynamic"?

I explained to him that the cartoon that taught him the word was totally wrong in terms of what a spoiler did, and explained downforce. Good times.
2018-02-09 12:09:09 PM  
1 vote:

Z-clipped: Hey farkers,

Why does the Earth rotate more slowly around its axis in the summer (in the northern hemisphere) and more quickly in the winter?


Is this a setup for a dad joke or do you actually think the rotation speed of the earth is variable?
2018-02-09 11:31:32 AM  
1 vote:
My standard response
Bring me a beer then go ask your mother
2018-02-09 11:23:48 AM  
1 vote:
Why parents just said "you'll understand when you'll be older"
2018-02-09 11:04:05 AM  
1 vote:
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2018-02-09 10:58:58 AM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: Actually this approach is what we took with the littlebopper.  Every single thing, no matter how mundane, was a learning experience.


Yeah, but now he's super into shortwave radios...poor little fella  ( ._.)
2018-02-09 10:45:13 AM  
1 vote:
Too much work. As long as you actually answer their questions and don't say "because I said so" or "because you don't want the chupacabra to get you," they should turn out all right.
2018-02-09 10:28:23 AM  
1 vote:
If I asked my parents a question, I was told to, "look it up." I spent a lot of time reading and gaining knowledge. Kids have to learn to fend for themselves, of they will be led around by the nose and will grow up and elect the first idiot that comes along and does the thinking for them.
 
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