If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Jalopnik)   What could possibly be better than a 707 hp burnout in a Dodge Hellcat? A four-wheel drive 707 hp burnout in a Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk   ( jalopnik.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

2309 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Feb 2018 at 9:35 PM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-08 06:35:45 PM  
Be more impressive if they didn't use a towing strap hooked up to a dead weight.
 
2018-02-08 09:50:41 PM  
Yeah, and load it into a catapult and it can fly too!
 
2018-02-08 10:16:56 PM  
Apparently not even 707 horsepower, four wheel drive, and a weapons-grade tow strap are enough to shift OP's mother.
 
2018-02-08 10:21:39 PM  
I had a Chevy in the early 70's that had 425+ hp,  That was more than enough for me. Disc brakes in the front, drum in the rear. It was scary sometimes trying to stop after going fast.
 
2018-02-08 10:22:39 PM  
Pointless stupidity.
A perfect metaphor for Americans.
 
2018-02-08 11:12:04 PM  
That burnout will totally get you a....ummmm.....something.

So awesome.
 
2018-02-08 11:31:01 PM  
A Boeing 707 burnout would be even better.
 
2018-02-08 11:31:54 PM  
AUSTRALIAN BURNOUTS v AMERICAN BURNOUTS
Youtube GyzFhUSIpaQ
 
2018-02-08 11:40:57 PM  
Gruman F6F is the only Hellcat I ever want to own.
 
2018-02-08 11:46:04 PM  

winedrinkingman: Gruman F6F is the only Hellcat I ever want to own.


I'd prefer a Buick Hellcat.
 
2018-02-09 12:05:32 AM  
Jeep Crackhawk
 
2018-02-09 12:11:48 AM  

wiseolddude: I had a Chevy in the early 70's that had 425+ hp,  That was more than enough for me. Disc brakes in the front, drum in the rear. It was scary sometimes trying to stop after going fast.


A new Jeep Grand Cherokee with 707 hp is about $100K, so I'm not about to go and get one. However, I was window shopping pre-owned Taurus SHOs, which are reasonably priced and have a twin-turbo 3.5L V6 with 350 lb-ft of torque. Kind of ugly though, like a square block of soap.
 
2018-02-09 12:18:37 AM  

itcamefromschenectady: wiseolddude: I had a Chevy in the early 70's that had 425+ hp,  That was more than enough for me. Disc brakes in the front, drum in the rear. It was scary sometimes trying to stop after going fast.

A new Jeep Grand Cherokee with 707 hp is about $100K, so I'm not about to go and get one. However, I was window shopping pre-owned Taurus SHOs, which are reasonably priced and have a twin-turbo 3.5L V6 with 350 lb-ft of torque. Kind of ugly though, like a square block of soap.


Reading...it doesn't appear to be limited to a gaudy HP number. This performs. 645 ft-lbs of tourque and a 3.5 0-60. My car is incredibly impractical this time of year since moving to Chicago. I may have found my vehicle! I will go ahead and assume it is excluded from any employee discounts.
 
2018-02-09 12:27:39 AM  
Pffft. That's not a burnout. Now Ken Block in his 1400 HP AWD Mustang, that's a burnout.
 
2018-02-09 12:31:27 AM  

rebelyell2006: winedrinkingman: Gruman F6F is the only Hellcat I ever want to own.

I'd prefer a Buick Hellcat.


I like the looks of the current Buick Regal. They just need to give it 707 hp.
 
2018-02-09 12:36:35 AM  
itcamefromschenectady

wiseolddude: I had a Chevy in the early 70's that had 425+ hp, That was more than enough for me. Disc brakes in the front, drum in the rear. It was scary sometimes trying to stop after going fast.

A new Jeep Grand Cherokee with 707 hp is about $100K, so I'm not about to go and get one. However, I was window shopping pre-owned Taurus SHOs, which are reasonably priced and have a twin-turbo 3.5L V6 with 350 lb-ft of torque. Kind of ugly though, like a square block of soap


A buddy of mine just bought the Jeep, he kicked the farker down and all I remember was a lot of noise and pressure in my chest. Other than being fast in a straight line, there isn't much other use.
I bought an Explorer Sport, 365 bhp. If I want it to go it will but has better seating for adults and actual functional AWD.
 
2018-02-09 12:50:55 AM  
The Simpsons - Canyonero
Youtube PI_Jl5WFQkA
 
2018-02-09 02:06:12 AM  

Merltech: Be more impressive if they didn't use a towing strap hooked up to a dead weight.


Back in the old days, we didn't need a tow strap. Or 700+ hp. You just rerouted your windshield squirters to spray down onto the back tires. Push the button, instant smokey burnout no matter where you were.
 
2018-02-09 05:38:55 AM  
So lame I had to come in and just say it.

Lame. Also boring. But, mostly lame.

/Lame.
 
2018-02-09 06:46:46 AM  

jaytkay: That burnout will totally get you a....ummmm.....something.

So awesome.


New tires.
 
2018-02-09 07:06:54 AM  

phishrace: Merltech: Be more impressive if they didn't use a towing strap hooked up to a dead weight.

Back in the old days, we didn't need a tow strap. Or 700+ hp. You just rerouted your windshield squirters to spray down onto the back tires. Push the button, instant smokey burnout no matter where you were.


We rerouted the windshield squirters to aim high and to the side of the car so we would spray pedestrians.
 
2018-02-09 09:01:39 AM  
Built up a Ford F100 short bed one time. 429 CJ, 4 spd, Dana rears and a few other mods. It was a light duty goof off vehicle for towing a 16' boat (that had a 460). It didn't leave the factory as a four wheel drive but when you're changing everything else you might as well change the frame too. That vehicle used 44" Dick Cepek Monster Mudders. 4 wd burnouts were fun and dangerous, what with the wheel hop and the truck jumping sideways which ever way it wanted to.

I never really expected to live this long.
 
2018-02-09 09:04:43 AM  

itcamefromschenectady: rebelyell2006: winedrinkingman: Gruman F6F is the only Hellcat I ever want to own.

I'd prefer a Buick Hellcat.

I like the looks of the current Buick Regal. They just need to give it 707 hp.


Can they fit a 76mm antitank gun on a Regal?
 
2018-02-09 09:24:33 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: itcamefromschenectady

wiseolddude: I had a Chevy in the early 70's that had 425+ hp, That was more than enough for me. Disc brakes in the front, drum in the rear. It was scary sometimes trying to stop after going fast.

A new Jeep Grand Cherokee with 707 hp is about $100K, so I'm not about to go and get one. However, I was window shopping pre-owned Taurus SHOs, which are reasonably priced and have a twin-turbo 3.5L V6 with 350 lb-ft of torque. Kind of ugly though, like a square block of soap

A buddy of mine just bought the Jeep, he kicked the farker down and all I remember was a lot of noise and pressure in my chest. Other than being fast in a straight line, there isn't much other use.
I bought an Explorer Sport, 365 bhp. If I want it to go it will but has better seating for adults and actual functional AWD.


Yeah, same engine in the Taurus SHO I believe. Do you have the need for 7 passenger seating, or is it more for cargo, high vantage point and bad weather?
 
2018-02-09 10:40:47 AM  
Ya know you wouldn't need to put 700hp in the thing to make it fast if it wasn't too big and too heavy to begin with.  I'm sure it handles like absolute garbage, given that Cherokee's normally feel like pushing a brick through the wind on 4 warm marshmallows.  Adding hp is just going to make it worse.
 
2018-02-09 11:29:09 AM  
Repeat in the summer when half of that isn't steam.
 
kab
2018-02-09 12:25:15 PM  
Burnouts.   Because nothing says impressive like being able to push 2 pedals down at the same time. (or 1 and a button if you have line lock)

I'd much rather sacrifice tire rubber to the apex gods.
 
2018-02-09 01:42:37 PM  
I guess the trackhawk doesn't have the standard hellcat line lock?
 
2018-02-09 02:08:32 PM  
My car has a 250-hp 4-cylinder, 5-speed, and AWD. It does what it's supposed to, and maybe a little more, but it's most impressive attribute is that it's a station wagon.  My car can do AWD burnouts if I strap it to a stationary object, as they did here.

I guess I'm wondering - what's the point? If my mundane 13-year old car can do it, why would I be impressed by this?

Next time, put in a little effort and do something that the average car can't. Accelerate more quickly than I can, hit a higher top speed, set a faster time around a track, jump over Springfield Gorge, or anything else that shows it's worth having nearly 3 times the power.

/Not criticizing the vehicle, my problem is the lack of creativity of the driver
 
2018-02-09 03:20:48 PM  

eKonk: My car has a 250-hp 4-cylinder, 5-speed, and AWD. It does what it's supposed to, and maybe a little more, but it's most impressive attribute is that it's a station wagon.  My car can do AWD burnouts if I strap it to a stationary object, as they did here.

I guess I'm wondering - what's the point? If my mundane 13-year old car can do it, why would I be impressed by this?

Next time, put in a little effort and do something that the average car can't. Accelerate more quickly than I can, hit a higher top speed, set a faster time around a track, jump over Springfield Gorge, or anything else that shows it's worth having nearly 3 times the power.

/Not criticizing the vehicle, my problem is the lack of creativity of the driver


I kinda had the same reaction.  My DD is about 600hp AWD with a DSG and about 2500lbs.  If I take it to the Friday night street drags at SCR, I'm gonna light up all 4.  In the driver's seat, it's a bit terrifying as the car just sits there winding the tires off while it slowly slides in the direction of the camber of the track.

Then it hooks up.

And oh my god
 
2018-02-09 03:25:53 PM  

Officer Barrelroll: phishrace: Merltech: Be more impressive if they didn't use a towing strap hooked up to a dead weight.

Back in the old days, we didn't need a tow strap. Or 700+ hp. You just rerouted your windshield squirters to spray down onto the back tires. Push the button, instant smokey burnout no matter where you were.

We rerouted the windshield squirters to aim high and to the side of the car so we would spray pedestrians.


Oh, so you we're that asshole I remember from high school.  Did you drive a Toyota pickup lowered so much that it couldn't even drive over a small pebble on the road or enter a gas station?
 
2018-02-10 10:01:35 AM  
I guess I'll never understand why anyone would do that.
 
Displayed 32 of 32 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report