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(Splinter News)   Dude, maybe you need to accept he's just not that into you   ( splinternews.com) divider line
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8504 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Feb 2018 at 2:18 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-08 02:07:55 PM  
Poor Mikey...he's just not used to people rejecting his form of Christ's love...
 
2018-02-08 02:13:47 PM  
Methinks he doth protest too much.
 
2018-02-08 02:14:30 PM  
the vice president of the United States fired off a couple of awkward and desperate tweets just after midnight on Thursday.

Whoa, does his mother know how late he was up?
 
2018-02-08 02:15:10 PM  
Being elected VP doesn't entitle you to being treated like royalty, Mike.
 
2018-02-08 02:16:16 PM  

scottydoesntknow: the vice president of the United States fired off a couple of awkward and desperate tweets just after midnight on Thursday.

Whoa, does his mother know how late he was up?


The Ambien Walrus thinks All Athletes Matter.
 
2018-02-08 02:21:58 PM  

dv-ous: scottydoesntknow: the vice president of the United States fired off a couple of awkward and desperate tweets just after midnight on Thursday.

Whoa, does his mother know how late he was up?

The Ambien Walrus thinks All Athletes Matter.


The Ambien Walrus is quite kind and very accepting.
 
2018-02-08 02:23:19 PM  
What's with the upsurge in Splinter news?
 
2018-02-08 02:24:03 PM  
I just got finished jacking off to dudes, so I'm getting a kick out of this.
 
2018-02-08 02:25:14 PM  

palelizard: dv-ous: scottydoesntknow: the vice president of the United States fired off a couple of awkward and desperate tweets just after midnight on Thursday.

Whoa, does his mother know how late he was up?

The Ambien Walrus thinks All Athletes Matter.

The Ambien Walrus is quite kind and very accepting.


He wants people of all walks of life to piss on their dogs and buy chandeliers.
 
2018-02-08 02:25:15 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 02:25:24 PM  

misanthropicsob: What's with the upsurge in Splinter news?


What upsurge? It's the only one on the entire tab.
 
2018-02-08 02:25:30 PM  
It goes without saying that Adam Rippon is 100x a better American, and a representation of America, that Mike Farkin' Pence.
 
2018-02-08 02:26:16 PM  
"But ... but ... I'm one of The Chosen! He is nothing but a Godless-according-to-my-warped-definit​ion peon! I am better than he is! Don't you understand?!?"
At least, if he does succeed Dolt 45 (Lord, an aneurysm, if you don't mind? Thanks), he's even dumber than Trump and can be easily fought with conventional weapons.
 
2018-02-08 02:26:37 PM  

lilbjorn: What upsurge? It's the only one on the entire tab.


A 100% increase over yesterday.
 
2018-02-08 02:26:40 PM  
Mother. Tell that skater not to glide my way, tell those gay men not to hear my yearns.
What they mean, what they say, (oh my god, I am gay.)

Mother.
Can you keep me in the dark for life
Can you hide me from the gaying world

Mother.
 
2018-02-08 02:27:20 PM  
Shaun White and NBC has to be pretty happy he just slid by before #metoo really got going.
 
2018-02-08 02:27:25 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Mother. Tell that skater not to glide my way, tell those gay men not to hear my yearns.
What they mean, what they say, (oh my god, I am gay.)

Mother.
Can you keep me in the dark for life
Can you hide me from the gaying world

Mother.


I love you.
 
Azz [TotalFark]
2018-02-08 02:27:42 PM  
Extreme Homophobia sounds like a sport in the alternative Olympic games Pence dreams about every night
 
2018-02-08 02:27:59 PM  
So, what, Pence wanted to talk to a straight male figure skater?

letmelaughalittleharder.jpg
 
2018-02-08 02:28:02 PM  
Does Pence think he's buffing his image or something? Trying to broaden his appeal for the 2020 election? Good luck with that, Caspar the Creepy Ghost.
 
2018-02-08 02:28:16 PM  

misanthropicsob: What's with the upsurge in Splinter news?


Well now that the turtles have grown up and moved out he's got a lot more time on his hands.
 
2018-02-08 02:28:27 PM  
Somehow this ends with Pence shooting Kevin Spacey
 
2018-02-08 02:28:43 PM  
I fully expect in a year from now for reporters to unleash pictures of Mike Pence dressed only in tight black undies being fed grapes by 2-3 rent boys. There will be a little bit of weeping, a news conference saying he was set up, then the ultimate admission that he's been exploring this for a while and asks for everyone's understanding and forgiveness.

This is the only possible ending for this guy.
 
2018-02-08 02:29:10 PM  
Why is the VP leading the olympic march in the first place ? I dont recall a US politician doing it before. Perhaps I am mistaken but this is exactly why you shouldn't politicize the olympics.
 
2018-02-08 02:30:28 PM  
I'd bet dollars to pesos that Pence owns a horse tail butt plug.
 
2018-02-08 02:31:15 PM  

kindms: Why is the VP leading the olympic march in the first place ? I dont recall a US politician doing it before. Perhaps I am mistaken but this is exactly why you shouldn't politicize the olympics.


Because nothing matters anymore and the cosmos is a horrible, uncaring place that doesn't even care enough to laugh at us.

/ who knew Cthulhu wore a terrible, blonde combover?
 
2018-02-08 02:31:28 PM  

kindms: Why is the VP leading the olympic march in the first place ? I dont recall a US politician doing it before. Perhaps I am mistaken but this is exactly why you shouldn't politicize the olympics.


Not the march, the delegation.
 
2018-02-08 02:31:34 PM  

kindms: Why is the VP leading the olympic march in the first place ? I dont recall a US politician doing it before. Perhaps I am mistaken but this is exactly why you shouldn't politicize the olympics.


Seriously. No one's ever politicized the Olympics in the past ever. Why start now.
 
2018-02-08 02:31:35 PM  
What a pathetic lot of executive branchers we have...
 
2018-02-08 02:31:35 PM  

imapirate: I'd bet dollars to pesos that Pence owns a horse tail butt plug.


Boy, that's a mental image I really didn't need...
 
2018-02-08 02:31:43 PM  
Stop using my own words against me...that's cheating!

#FAKENEWSHURRDURR
 
2018-02-08 02:31:45 PM  

Anastacya: Methinks he doth protest too much.


Is Mother going to have to be in the room every time he meets with men now, too?
 
2018-02-08 02:32:27 PM  

sunderland56: lilbjorn: What upsurge? It's the only one on the entire tab.

A 100% increase over yesterday.


Yeah, but 100% of 0 is still 0.
 
2018-02-08 02:32:40 PM  

hubiestubert: Poor Mikey...he's just not used to people rejecting his form of Christ's love...


Christ's love is much different than that of a square.
 
2018-02-08 02:32:51 PM  

EighthDay: imapirate: I'd bet dollars to pesos that Pence owns a horse tail butt plug.

Boy, that's a mental image I really didn't need...


Is there a term for choking on your own vomit while laughing?
 
2018-02-08 02:33:23 PM  

EighthDay: imapirate: I'd bet dollars to pesos that Pence owns a horse tail butt plug.

Boy, that's a mental image I really didn't need...


"Another carrot, Mother?"
 
2018-02-08 02:33:48 PM  

imapirate: I'd bet dollars to pesos that Pence owns a horse tail butt plug.


My money's on a pen is (mightier) cage.  Could be both I suppose.
 
2018-02-08 02:35:28 PM  
It all makes sense now.
2static.fjcdn.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 02:36:12 PM  

Doctor Funkenstein: hubiestubert: Poor Mikey...he's just not used to people rejecting his form of Christ's love...

Christ's love is much different than that of a square.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 02:37:01 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Mother. Tell that skater not to glide my way, tell those gay men not to hear my yearns.
What they mean, what they say, (oh my god, I am gay.)

Mother.
Can you keep me in the dark for life
Can you hide me from the gaying world

Mother.


mother will they try...and lick my balls?
mother do you think they'll drop their load?
 
2018-02-08 02:37:35 PM  

guestguy: EighthDay: imapirate: I'd bet dollars to pesos that Pence owns a horse tail butt plug.

Boy, that's a mental image I really didn't need...

Is there a term for choking on your own vomit while laughing?


Laughspiration?
 
2018-02-08 02:38:35 PM  

Azz: Extreme Homophobia sounds like a sport in the alternative Olympic games Pence dreams about every night


Greek Jell-o Wrestling and Naked Leapfrog tying for his second-favorite events, no doubt.
 
2018-02-08 02:38:39 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: kindms: Why is the VP leading the olympic march in the first place ? I dont recall a US politician doing it before. Perhaps I am mistaken but this is exactly why you shouldn't politicize the olympics.

Not the march, the delegation.


is that normal ?

It just seems odd the VP would be involved at all but who knows maybe they have done it before
 
2018-02-08 02:38:58 PM  
I'm not a big fan of the Right, in any shape. Conservatives, I'm ok with that, but the Right... Not my cup of tea.

That being said, I don't feel that this is a 'meltdown'. Yes, Pence is, in his words: "Christian, Republican, and American" in that order, but I feel this is too bland to be outraged.

Maybe I'm missing something here.
 
2018-02-08 02:41:47 PM  
Listen Mike, I've got some bad news for you.  It turns out ... well, it turns out you hate gay people.

I'm sorry I'm the one who has to break this news to you.  Honestly we all assumed you knew about it.
 
2018-02-08 02:42:48 PM  

dailygrinds: It all makes sense now.
[2static.fjcdn.com image 487x360]


Biden could kick his ass and be downing a victory beer before Pence hit the floor.
 
2018-02-08 02:43:16 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 02:44:11 PM  
Hey, cut him some slack. With Mother and her rules, that's the closest he can get to some strange alone. And being a Republican claiming family and Christian values, he is instinctively driven to fornicate out of matrimony. A distinguished, powerful man with perfect hair and an impressionable young athlete with a slender but powerful build... I can hear the locker room bench creaking already.


Actually, the real travesty here is that Pence seems to have accepted that trumpanese, a dialect of Twidiot, is perfectly acceptable.
Behold the "fake news", "nonstory" (new "nothingburger"?), all-caps on random words, the rest devoid of sense... Look Pence, you were pretty pathetic before, but you choosing to emulate the Corruption in Chief makes you even more irrelevant. Ask Mother to see your personality for a moment, I think it's been a while...
 
2018-02-08 02:44:28 PM  
I'm kind of surprised  he didnt  say he even has gay friends.
 
2018-02-08 02:46:29 PM  

CygnusDarius: I'm not a big fan of the Right, in any shape. Conservatives, I'm ok with that, but the Right... Not my cup of tea.

That being said, I don't feel that this is a 'meltdown'. Yes, Pence is, in his words: "Christian, Republican, and American" in that order, but I feel this is too bland to be outraged.

Maybe I'm missing something here.


I think it's just a case of Trump's spoiled brat malignant narcissism rubbing off on his Veep.

I mean,  he's even crying "Fake News" for crying out loud.
 
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