If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mediabistro)   Clearly this a job a trained monkey or sober Farker could handle   ( mediabistro.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Sky News, cable news network, dynamic Head Writer, National Cable Morning, News, research news topics., Breaking news, Fox Broadcasting Company  
•       •       •

2494 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Feb 2018 at 5:20 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-02-08 02:18:41 PM  
Yeah, that'll never happen.
 
2018-02-08 02:21:40 PM  
Is there any such thing as a sober Farker?
 
2018-02-08 02:26:56 PM  
They have writers? Those idiots can remember lines and talking points? I thought they just opened their pre holes and let the derp fall out.
 
2018-02-08 02:31:40 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 02:53:20 PM  
You are masterfully skillful at:
Multitasking on tight deadlines in high pressure environment
Leading a team during breaking news with clear instructions and communication
Identifying catchy stories that people will be talking about all day


"catchy"
 
2018-02-08 02:58:40 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: Is there any such thing as a sober Farker?


I've heard stories of one Farker who posts in the Sports and Business tab who stays sober for most of the morning.  He/she mostly drinks at night.  Mostly.
 
2018-02-08 03:01:56 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 03:16:43 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: [img.fark.net image 538x225]
[img.fark.net image 245x155]


solid news judgment is important.  Need to know the difference between what is news and what Fox viewers want to see.
 
2018-02-08 03:27:03 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Carl says he is over qualified for this job. And he would also like a space heater under his desk.
 
2018-02-08 04:23:46 PM  
Fox & Friends is looking for a dynamic Head Writer. If you never get beat on off a story, have a eyne for catchy ass stories and a passion for current events, this is the job for you.
 
2018-02-08 04:59:00 PM  
What a trained monkey may look like...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 05:03:36 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 05:24:07 PM  
My very first thought...

"Wait... they actually have the shiat that they say WRITTEN?  And willingly READ it?  Without LAUGHING?!?"
 
2018-02-08 05:24:24 PM  
I could handle the job.

I don't think they'd like my take on what constitutes "catchy news stories", though.
 
2018-02-08 05:25:15 PM  
It's too bad that job isn't still available, I can only imagine the cover letters that Farkers would provide.
 
2018-02-08 05:27:57 PM  
Souless, shiat for brains asshole requirement surprisingly missing
 
2018-02-08 05:28:59 PM  
Trump does all of his writing while using the head... Does that make him a Head Writer?
 
2018-02-08 05:29:54 PM  
Trained monkeys have standards.
 
2018-02-08 05:31:35 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: [img.fark.net image 538x225]
[img.fark.net image 245x155]


Beat me to it... exactly the point I was going to make.
 
2018-02-08 05:31:52 PM  
Could a sober farker write a headline?
 
2018-02-08 05:32:19 PM  
Subby obviously wasn't sober when writing that headline.
 
2018-02-08 05:32:53 PM  
Experienced fiction writer wanted
 
2018-02-08 05:32:57 PM  
The people working behind the scenes at Fox News are skillful propagandists. Don't underestimate them like that.
 
2018-02-08 05:33:29 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: Is there any such thing as a sober Farker?


*Raises hand* Coming up to the 11 month mark.
 
2018-02-08 05:34:47 PM  
Sounds like a job for Meredith Mciver!

us-east-1.tchyn.ioView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 05:35:07 PM  
s2.quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 05:35:43 PM  
Clearly this a job a trained monkey or sober Farker could handle

Subby's typo easily makes him qualified.
 
2018-02-08 05:36:23 PM  
...something something because there are some things even rats won't do.
 
2018-02-08 05:37:43 PM  
Noted at bottom:  "This role does not provide visa sponsorship".  So many levels of hilarity there that I'm not sure where to start
 
2018-02-08 05:37:56 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: Is there any such thing as a sober Farker?


There's generally a daily span late afternoon but while I'm still at work.
 
2018-02-08 05:43:53 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: Is there any such thing as a sober Farker?


o/
 
2018-02-08 05:44:28 PM  

fly_gal: You are masterfully skillful at:
Multitasking on tight deadlines in high pressure environment
Leading a team during breaking news with clear instructions and communication
Identifying catchy stories that people will be talking about all day

"catchy"


They want you to see what is interesting and then make click bait
 
2018-02-08 05:45:58 PM  

LeoffDaGrate: My very first thought...

"Wait... they actually have the shiat that they say WRITTEN?  And willingly READ it?  Without LAUGHING?!?"


They close their eyes, choke it down, and be happy that they have the money.
 
2018-02-08 05:46:25 PM  

Naido: Noted at bottom:  "This role does not provide visa sponsorship".  So many levels of hilarity there that I'm not sure where to start


"Hai Guize, I'm a Muslim with a Pulitzer, a PHD in literature and a Nobel prize for writing. Can I have a job?"
 
2018-02-08 05:48:43 PM  
Clearly this a job a trained monkey or sober Farker could handle

Hell, probably even a liberal could muster enough brainpower for short stretches.
 
2018-02-08 05:49:07 PM  
I assumed a MFA in Creative Writing would be a requirement.
 
2018-02-08 05:49:54 PM  

Epic Fap Session: I assumed a MFA in Creative Writing would be a requirement.


Fox News doesn't require college degrees.
 
2018-02-08 05:52:59 PM  
Fox & Friends is looking for a dynamic Spin Doctor. If you always get beat on a story, have an eye for catchy (wink, wink, nod, nod) stories and a passion for current events and how to distort them, this is the job for you. You will oversee all Fake news content that we allow to fit our narrative of the #1 National Cable Morning ShowYou will supervise a team of Hacks and work with Senior Propaganda Specialists to craft the tone of a fast-paced show. You will assign fictional stories to writers and manage the gathering of all video and sound bites that make Democrats look bad as well as fact check stories to fit our agenda and make up news topics.  You will be a key player during breaking news, leading the team of monkeys and executing coverage that sets the tone for the entire channel as the first live show in the morning.
 
2018-02-08 05:56:07 PM  
Pretty sure a trained monkey would be considered overqualified for this job. A sober Farker, maybe not, depending on which one we're talking about, if you know what I'm saying, and I think you do.
 
2018-02-08 05:56:24 PM  
 
img.fark.netView Full Size


"Do you believe in WMDs, Benghazi, Vince Foster, arugula, birtherism, death panels, Monicagate, Seth Rich, the Deep State, and Jade Helm?"

img.fark.netView Full Size


"If there's a steady paycheck, I'll believe anything you say."
 
2018-02-08 05:57:12 PM  

Jumbled: Naido: Noted at bottom:  "This role does not provide visa sponsorship".  So many levels of hilarity there that I'm not sure where to start

"Hai Guize, I'm a Muslim with a Pulitzer, a PHD in literature and a Nobel prize for writing. Can I have a job?"


img.fark.net
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 06:08:48 PM  

blatz514: What a trained monkey may look like...

[img.fark.net image 500x425]


How a Fox News monkey might act.

img.fark.netView Full Size


That was made, per my request, by OOF
 
2018-02-08 06:09:31 PM  

Mikey1969: Could a sober farker write a headline?


Not one that would get a green light.
 
2018-02-08 06:10:45 PM  
"A passion for current events & accuracy"

Odd
 
2018-02-08 06:11:29 PM  
"This role does not provide visa sponsorship"

Well, no shiat Sherlock.  Who would ever think Fox would sponsor a visa?
 
2018-02-08 06:14:22 PM  
Head Writer?  You mean the people on Fox & Friends are not talking extemporaneously.
 
2018-02-08 06:14:29 PM  
While FOX News will not sponsor a visa, even for a very talented, qualified and experienced individual, they will pay for the pentagram should the candidate be summoned for a second interview.
 
2018-02-08 06:14:37 PM  
Ok, fess up ,who here is sober?
 
2018-02-08 06:22:21 PM  

RJReves: blatz514: What a trained monkey may look like...

[img.fark.net image 500x425]

How a Fox News monkey might act.

[img.fark.net image 245x154]

That was made, per my request, by OOF


Oh man, I just spit cookie all over the keyboard and monitor. That cracked me up.
 
2018-02-08 06:24:53 PM  
Essential job qualifications:
- Ability to project negative Republican qualities as Democrat qualities
- Ability to explain why anything negative is Obama's fault
- Willingness to extinguish any shred of self respect you have
- Ladies, a leggy wardrobe, blonde hair dye, and short term memory for workplace harassment
 
Displayed 50 of 69 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report