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(New York Daily News)   You call this a climax? "Fifty Shades" reaches an unhappy ending   ( nydailynews.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Mickey Rourke, cranky teenager, Jamie Dornan, villainous Jack Hyde, bad 30-minute soap, slightly smutty Harlequin, simple boy-beats-girl story, Dakota Johnson  
•       •       •

4564 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Feb 2018 at 11:20 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-08 11:14:56 AM  
Maybe they can whip up a  new ending.
 
2018-02-08 11:16:40 AM  
Still a better love story than Twilight.
 
2018-02-08 11:22:22 AM  
I've stepped in deeper puddles
 
2018-02-08 11:23:34 AM  

foo monkey: Still a better love story than Twilight.


Probably the only time this doesn't apply, as 50 Shades began life as Twilight fan-fic.
 
2018-02-08 11:23:39 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2018-02-08 11:29:46 AM  
Up next, a transgender sex farce that started out as a Harry Potter fanfiction where Draco got Snape pregnant.
 
2018-02-08 11:30:04 AM  

alechemist: Maybe they can whip up a  new ending.


<Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg>
 
2018-02-08 11:30:50 AM  

foo monkey: Still a better love story than Twilight?



FTFY
 
2018-02-08 11:32:08 AM  
So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?
 
2018-02-08 11:33:28 AM  
Ehh, wife went last night, had a few drinks with her friends, laughed at the movie then came home and played pickle tickle with me...WTF do I care if they make more of them.

/tl;dr

memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 11:33:45 AM  

foo monkey: Still a better love story than Twilight.


I'm fairly sure this is the only love story worse then Twilight
 
2018-02-08 11:33:53 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?


It's OK if you make her year's salary in 15 minutes and look like....whoever that actor is.
 
2018-02-08 11:38:36 AM  
If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.
 
2018-02-08 11:40:25 AM  
Isn't the hope point of this franchise to delay gratification through a series of punishments leading to a larger more satisfying release?

Sounds like they are following it to a tee.
 
2018-02-08 11:45:14 AM  
That's too bad considering this series had such high expectations to begin with.
 
2018-02-08 11:45:42 AM  

rjakobi: Up next, a transgender sex farce that started out as a Harry Potter fanfiction where Draco got Snape pregnant.


Still a better love story than Twilight.
 
2018-02-08 11:46:44 AM  

rjakobi: Up next, a transgender sex farce that started out as a Harry Potter fanfiction where Draco got Snape pregnant.


My Immortal: The Movie
 
2018-02-08 11:47:17 AM  

Wettner: Isn't the hope point of this franchise to delay gratification through a series of punishments leading to a larger more satisfying release?

Sounds like they are following it to a tee.


They actually have a release? My release is the joy I feel in never having read the books or movies, and still holding true to original ideas of love that don't include the deliberate infliction of pain.
 
2018-02-08 11:50:08 AM  

Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.


I haven't read the books but my Ex GF made me watch the movies with her. Given what I saw, at least one of the bolded statements is wrong.
 
2018-02-08 11:56:29 AM  

Kirablue42: Wettner: Isn't the hope point of this franchise to delay gratification through a series of punishments leading to a larger more satisfying release?

Sounds like they are following it to a tee.

They actually have a release? My release is the joy I feel in never having read the books or movies, and still holding true to original ideas of love that don't include the deliberate infliction of pain.


Wooo are you missing out. If you don't have a pee tape of Russian Hookers peeing on an Obama bed, how sad your sex life must be.
 
2018-02-08 11:58:16 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?


Many women fantasize about rape, but don't actually want to be raped.
 
2018-02-08 12:01:55 PM  

Casey Anthony: Representative of the unwashed masses: So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?

Many women fantasize about rape, but don't actually want to be raped.


I really want to smart your post, but then I read your username.

/seriously, though, it's not that hard.
//Guys who complain about mixed signals are generally pretty dumb.
 
2018-02-08 12:05:14 PM  
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 12:05:27 PM  
Is there full frontal female nudity in this series?
 
2018-02-08 12:13:02 PM  

chevydeuce: Ehh, wife went last night, had a few drinks with her friends, laughed at the movie then came home and played pickle tickle with me...WTF do I care if they make more of them.

/tl;dr

[memegenerator.net image 400x400]


...and her friends?
 
2018-02-08 12:13:05 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?


Nope.

A big part of BDSM is consent and control.  Surely you've heard of 'safe words' and a big part is trust.  Without good communication, it becomes a violation.  Like a story a few weeks ago about the boyfriend who tied up his girlfriend in bed (consensual) then went and played video games on the couch.  Not the plan and she was rightly mad.  He broke trust.

You don't surprise your partner with new things, mid-act, is what I'm saying, so the only way you do a 'rape fantasy' is if you already talked about it and made a plan.
 
2018-02-08 12:17:12 PM  
Who has time to have sex anymore what with all the other entertainment options available and this modern go-go 90's lifestyle?
 
2018-02-08 12:18:58 PM  
I liked these Grey movies better when it was just one film called Secretary.
 
2018-02-08 12:20:06 PM  

Greil: Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.

I haven't read the books but my Ex GF made me watch the movies with her. Given what I saw, at least one of the bolded statements is wrong.


If you haven't read the books then you have no idea on the veracity of the first bolded statement and as for the second, decency is in the eye of the beholder which makes it an opinion so it cannot be wrong, it just would not coincide with your opinion.
 
2018-02-08 12:22:59 PM  
I'm really surprised they made a second movie, let alone a third.  The casting was painfully bad and those two were very awkward together.  Combine that with a bad screen script and the whole thing was a disaster.
 
2018-02-08 12:25:42 PM  

Shazam999: Is there full frontal female nudity in this series?


This.  I just wanna fap to some screengrabs of the lead actress and call it a day.
 
2018-02-08 12:29:06 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 12:37:35 PM  

idrow: the whole thing was a disaster.


considering the source material, it was bound to happen.
Seriously - 50 Shades is a rip off of Twilight, which was a slightly disturbing abusive relationship....  In this fan-fic version it goes directly to "I will control everything about you and your life and if you defy me I will beat you (in a sexual way)" levels of abusive relationship, but market it as Dom/Sub, and since he marries her, its WO-MANCE *swoon*

its drek.
Its dangerous drek at that.
 
kab
2018-02-08 12:39:27 PM  

skinink: I liked these Grey movies better when it was just one film called Secretary.


this.
 
2018-02-08 12:40:37 PM  

Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.


I had a coworker recommend them, and I didn't pay attention to the synopsis when I bought them. I started reading and went "WTELF?" It wasn't as funny as Twilight (another coworker recommendation, which had me laughing at the horrible writing) and was more... "That seems like a really bad relationship"... there was a betrayal of agreements, safety / desires of the partner. No thanks. The first was bad enough that I didn't want to read the others. And I have a ... slight Monk habit about books and not finishing series.
 
2018-02-08 12:41:48 PM  

Casey Anthony: Representative of the unwashed masses: So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?

Many women fantasize about rape, but don't actually want to be raped.


I guess those are the women that have never actually BEEN raped then.
 
2018-02-08 12:45:11 PM  

rjakobi: Up next, a transgender sex farce that started out as a Harry Potter fanfiction where Draco got Snape pregnant.


Also, they're both dogs.
 
2018-02-08 12:45:55 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?


No. We don't, at all. Is that clear enough for you?
 
2018-02-08 12:46:39 PM  

batlock666: rjakobi: Up next, a transgender sex farce that started out as a Harry Potter fanfiction where Draco got Snape pregnant.

My Immortal: The Movie


img.fark.netView Full Size


For the unaware, My Immortal is simply the worst fanfic ever written, ever, in the history of the universe. For those brave enough or foolish enough, here's a dramatic reading of the first four chapters. Its 41 chapters long.

My Immortal - Part 1 - Chapters 1 to 4
Youtube qdv6Q68EutU
 
2018-02-08 12:49:01 PM  

Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.


CSB.  I met John Norman many years ago when he made a surprise appearance at a Con I was helping to run.  As part of the security detail I got put on "Mrs X detail", in other words, keeping a dear friend of mine who was an outspoken feminist, and a damn fine hand with a broadsword from doing Mr. Norman any harm during his appearance (it wasn't the 18" and 150lbs I had on her that anyone had any illusion would help, just that we were close friends and that MIGHT slow her down enough to get him to safety)

Norman was....not as expected.  A tweedy old man who was absolutely "whipped" by his wife, and was UTTERLY  appalled by the notion that anyone would consider his books a blueprint for a relationship or lifestyle (this was about '92 and so the Internet wasn't a thing, especially for elderly fantasy writers)

Still you kinda have to feel bad for BDSM devotees, while  most other alternative sexualities have a good book or movie to point to, kinskters are left with the "beauty series" and "exit to eden" written by an author without a kinky bone in her body, and the "50 Shades" series written by a woman who, from the evidence presented by the material, I am reasonably sure has never been in a relationship of ANY kind in her adult life
 
2018-02-08 12:53:24 PM  

Magorn: Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.

CSB.  I met John Norman many years ago when he made a surprise appearance at a Con I was helping to run.  As part of the security detail I got put on "Mrs X detail", in other words, keeping a dear friend of mine who was an outspoken feminist, and a damn fine hand with a broadsword from doing Mr. Norman any harm during his appearance (it wasn't the 18" and 150lbs I had on her that anyone had any illusion would help, just that we were close friends and that MIGHT slow her down enough to get him to safety)

Norman was....not as expected.  A tweedy old man who was absolutely "whipped" by his wife, and was UTTERLY  appalled by the notion that anyone would consider his books a blueprint for a relationship or lifestyle (this was about '92 and so the Internet wasn't a thing, especially for elderly fantasy writers)

Still you kinda have to feel bad for BDSM devotees, while  most other alternative sexualities have a good book or movie to point to, kinskters are left with the "beauty series" and "exit to eden" written by an author without a kinky bone in her body, and the "50 Shades" series written by a woman who, from the evidence presented by the material, I am reasonably sure has never been in a relationship of ANY kind in her adult life


Omg, the Beauty series is the most farked up BDSM dtory I have ever read in my life. Sooooo muh wrong in those pages...the bestiality, genital mutilation...the punishments are all 100% batshiat insane.
 
2018-02-08 12:56:09 PM  
Many people are getting hurt because of this movie. Once the Coachella crowd co-opts anything, it's gonna get kinda rapey.
 
2018-02-08 12:58:08 PM  

Unikitty: Magorn: Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.

CSB.  I met John Norman many years ago when he made a surprise appearance at a Con I was helping to run.  As part of the security detail I got put on "Mrs X detail", in other words, keeping a dear friend of mine who was an outspoken feminist, and a damn fine hand with a broadsword from doing Mr. Norman any harm during his appearance (it wasn't the 18" and 150lbs I had on her that anyone had any illusion would help, just that we were close friends and that MIGHT slow her down enough to get him to safety)

Norman was....not as expected.  A tweedy old man who was absolutely "whipped" by his wife, and was UTTERLY  appalled by the notion that anyone would consider his books a blueprint for a relationship or lifestyle (this was about '92 and so the Internet wasn't a thing, especially for elderly fantasy writers)

Still you kinda have to feel bad for BDSM devotees, while  most other alternative sexualities have a good book or movie to point to, kinskters are left with the "beauty series" and "e ...


And yet ..years ago I can't tell you how many people "came out" to me by handing me a copy of those books... it was literally all there was in the commercial world  short of the equally farked up Writings of Desade himself
 
2018-02-08 01:13:05 PM  

Arkanaut: rjakobi: Up next, a transgender sex farce that started out as a Harry Potter fanfiction where Draco got Snape pregnant.

Also, they're both dogs.


No no no no, the world is not ready for mainstream furry romance yet.
 
2018-02-08 01:18:56 PM  
Having read the books and watched the first two movies (I'm a glutton for punishment), I will say they made her more outspoken and gave her more of a mind of her own in the movies compared to the books.

While all of the above are still bad, at least they made the relationship slightly less abusive in the movies.
 
2018-02-08 01:19:37 PM  

Magorn: Unikitty: Magorn: Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.

CSB.  I met John Norman many years ago when he made a surprise appearance at a Con I was helping to run.  As part of the security detail I got put on "Mrs X detail", in other words, keeping a dear friend of mine who was an outspoken feminist, and a damn fine hand with a broadsword from doing Mr. Norman any harm during his appearance (it wasn't the 18" and 150lbs I had on her that anyone had any illusion would help, just that we were close friends and that MIGHT slow her down enough to get him to safety)

Norman was....not as expected.  A tweedy old man who was absolutely "whipped" by his wife, and was UTTERLY  appalled by the notion that anyone would consider his books a blueprint for a relationship or lifestyle (this was about '92 and so the Internet wasn't a thing, especially for elderly fantasy writers)

Still you kinda have to feel bad for BDSM devotees, while  most other alternative sexualities have a good book or movie to point to, kinskters are left with the "beauty series" and "e ...

And yet ..years ago I can't tell you how many people "came out" to me by handing me a copy of those books... it was literally all there was in the commercial world  short of the equally farked up Writings of Desade himself


De Sade is another one that when you remove the sex from his writings, you get the idea that this was an enlightened man of sorts.  Bedroom Philosophers has some interesting takes on capital punishment and the role a mother should take in raising her children...you just have to get past the rape using a man with syphilis and sewing up the woman afterwards so that she keeps what is given to her.  I did say enlightened of sorts.  Remember, this is the same man who thought hosting a orgy and feeding his guests things to cause flatulence was a clever joke.
 
2018-02-08 01:20:39 PM  

Magorn: Unikitty: Magorn: Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: If they had just put the sex in the movies but not the storyline, people would have complained that it was nothing more than a watered down porno.  The fact that they keep releasing it at Valentine's Day should have given a clue that there was supposed to be a sort of love story in it and obviously the people writing the reviews did not bother reading the source material else they would see that the movies are faithfully following the storyline in the books.  My wife had me read them for something to talk about with her, each book took about an afternoon to finish.  They are a lot like John Norman's Gor novels, once you take out the ridiculous sex parts out, it actually has a decent story attached.

/if you are just wanting the sex and none of the story, take a watch of the movie Bound.

//not the Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon movie, this came out after Fifty Shades.

///bonus...Charisma Carpenter naked in all her glory being tied up and punished.

CSB.  I met John Norman many years ago when he made a surprise appearance at a Con I was helping to run.  As part of the security detail I got put on "Mrs X detail", in other words, keeping a dear friend of mine who was an outspoken feminist, and a damn fine hand with a broadsword from doing Mr. Norman any harm during his appearance (it wasn't the 18" and 150lbs I had on her that anyone had any illusion would help, just that we were close friends and that MIGHT slow her down enough to get him to safety)

Norman was....not as expected.  A tweedy old man who was absolutely "whipped" by his wife, and was UTTERLY  appalled by the notion that anyone would consider his books a blueprint for a relationship or lifestyle (this was about '92 and so the Internet wasn't a thing, especially for elderly fantasy writers)

Still you kinda have to feel bad for BDSM devotees, while  most other alternative sexualities have a good book or movie to point to, kinskters are left with the "beauty series" and "e ...

And yet ..years ago I can't tell you how many people "came out" to me by handing me a copy of those books... it was literally all there was in the commercial world  short of the equally farked up Writings of Desade himself


I bet it was frustrating. I've slways referenced them as "what not to do" books. Clearly, Ms. Rice has no farking clue about the lifestyle.
 
2018-02-08 01:29:06 PM  

Unikitty: Representative of the unwashed masses: So we live in a time where we have the #metoo movement and the most popular series of fiction for many women is basically rape fantasy fiction.

Ladies can you understand how us guys may get confused in terms of how to act?

No. We don't, at all. Is that clear enough for you?


Don't get your pitchfork just yet. It's just one of those things that strikes me as a paradox. Obviously anyone deserves to be treated with respect and any relationship of course should be 100% consensual. Just the idea of the domineering/abusive/rapey boyfriend fantasy in the 50 shades books etc seemingly (I've never read the books nor seen the movies) is odd to me.
 
2018-02-08 01:34:18 PM  

PanicAttack: at least they made the relationship slightly less abusive in the movies.


They should quote that in the ads.
 
2018-02-08 01:35:01 PM  
These books and films have enabled millions of housewives to get their freak on.  They are to be celebrated.

/ But not watched.
 
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