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(The Hill)   It's time to stop microwaving that grapefruit, Devin   ( thehill.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Trump, Bill Clinton, Gerald Nunes Trump, Donald Trump, President Trump Donald, John Trump Tillerson, Trump campaign  
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5016 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Feb 2018 at 12:09 PM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-08 09:41:22 AM  
I don't know if you guys are watching FOX News right now, but there's some seriously scary shiat going down, they're doing an overhead shot, there's about thirty million grapefruits traveling north up I-95 right now, they're destroying everyone and everything in their path.

Word I'm hearing is that this is going to come out very soon, but Devin Nunes is the Larry Nassar of grapefruits and the grapefruits are not planning to give the man a trial.  Pentagon is preparing military action, but you need completely different tactics to fight a grapefruit than you would a terrorist, I don't even think the military has the budget to give every active service member a spoon.

Everyone here knows that I'm all in favor of violence and chaos, but let's be straight here, the grapefruits get Devin Nunes, they're not going to stop there, they're going to try and kill every person on the entire planet, and on the way there, they're going to recruit all the other fruits and vegetables to their cause.

We spent millions of years eating sweet, delicious grapefruits and now they are going to eat us.  Dear God, we don't have a chance.
 
2018-02-08 09:56:42 AM  
You're going to have to pry that grapefruit from his cold, dead hands.

Although you probably don't want to actually touch it.
 
2018-02-08 10:01:19 AM  
Don't worry. That fourth memo about how the Department of Agriculture is out to get Trump is where the money shot is.
 
2018-02-08 10:05:24 AM  

The Goddamn Batman: Don't worry. That fourth memo about how the Department of Agriculture is out to get Trump is where the money shot is.


Nunes does have a masters in agriculture, so that could be some scary stuff.
 
2018-02-08 10:08:35 AM  
Let's get cynical... cynical.

Nunes has gone from "some House rep" to "household name" in a matter of months.  More than that, it is a product of him going all-in on Trump.  Who likes Trump but isn't much for digging through detailed analysis beyond what Hannity says?  Besides Trump, that would be rural Republican voters like those in CA-22.  Even given his national-stage image as a blunderer, this whole thing will cement his place in the hearts of his constituents.  Who decides whether he keeps his job: the nation's assembled mass of people who read dissections of public policy or that district's voters?

So that leaves Speaker Ryan, who decides the leadership of various committees.  Maybe he could pick a new HIC chair, but then that would require action to back up his "concerned Ryan face" words about Trump.  I'll take "things that won't happen for $200, Alex."
 
2018-02-08 10:27:03 AM  
Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?
 
2018-02-08 11:15:40 AM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


....noooo
 
2018-02-08 11:54:19 AM  

Mike_LowELL: Everyone here knows that I'm all in favor of violence and chaos, but let's be straight here, the grapefruits get Devin Nunes, they're not going to stop there, they're going to try and kill every person on the entire planet, and on the way there, they're going to recruit all the other fruits and vegetables to their cause.


I suggest a social media campaign to raise awareness that not every member of our legislative body uses grapefruit for his own debauched pleasure.

#NotAllCongressmen
 
2018-02-08 11:55:56 AM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 11:58:58 AM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


Acidic. Tingly. Squishy.

/I would say more but I don't want to get a timeout
 
2018-02-08 12:11:04 PM  

scottydoesntknow: The Goddamn Batman: Don't worry. That fourth memo about how the Department of Agriculture is out to get Trump is where the money shot is.

Nunes does have a masters in agriculture, so that could be some scary stuff.


He knows his way around a mountain of bullshiat.
 
2018-02-08 12:11:32 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


Has your grapefruit meme moved beyond Fark?
 
2018-02-08 12:12:48 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands
Hold that grapefruit close and never let it go
 
2018-02-08 12:12:53 PM  

factoryconnection: Let's get cynical... cynical.

Nunes has gone from "some House rep" to "household name" in a matter of months.  More than that, it is a product of him going all-in on Trump.  Who likes Trump but isn't much for digging through detailed analysis beyond what Hannity says?  Besides Trump, that would be rural Republican voters like those in CA-22.  Even given his national-stage image as a blunderer, this whole thing will cement his place in the hearts of his constituents.  Who decides whether he keeps his job: the nation's assembled mass of people who read dissections of public policy or that district's voters?

So that leaves Speaker Ryan, who decides the leadership of various committees.  Maybe he could pick a new HIC chair, but then that would require action to back up his "concerned Ryan face" words about Trump.  I'll take "things that won't happen for $200, Alex."


And then, he will go to "household name for selling out his country with Russian money laundering and a Russian ho boat."

The game is not over, and this is not a smart man. The dude is running around with his hair on fire trying, desperately, to kill the investigation any way possible. He knows he is farked.
 
2018-02-08 12:13:46 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


I'm guessing "acidic".

/And that just isn't good, basically.
 
2018-02-08 12:14:57 PM  
Thinking of having this printed at my local Walgreens. At the corner of happy and healthy!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 12:15:14 PM  
 I am so glad grapefruit f*cking became thing. I don't feel so ashamed anymore.
 
2018-02-08 12:16:04 PM  

DannyBrandt: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

Has your grapefruit meme moved beyond Fark?


Not that I am aware of, but I did make it a point to thank the originator on Twitter -
img.fark.netView Full Size

I am sure there is some sort of grapefruit prep that goes into this, and I can only assume that finding your grapefruit 'style' requires some horrible trial and error.
 
2018-02-08 12:16:14 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


I am a female, so... no. I am assuming a bunch of you male farkers can tell me, though.
 
2018-02-08 12:16:31 PM  

Anastacya: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

Acidic. Tingly. Squishy.

/I would say more but I don't want to get a timeout


Wouldn't it burn? All that acid going in your urethra would have to sting like a biatch!!
 
2018-02-08 12:16:32 PM  

Anastacya: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

Acidic. Tingly. Squishy.

/I would say more but I don't want to get a timeout


It's key to add sugar, otherwise it's quite unpleasant.

Or so I hear....
 
2018-02-08 12:16:51 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: DannyBrandt: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

Has your grapefruit meme moved beyond Fark?

Not that I am aware of, but I did make it a point to thank the originator on Twitter -
[img.fark.net image 585x645]
I am sure there is some sort of grapefruit prep that goes into this, and I can only assume that finding your grapefruit 'style' requires some horrible trial and error.


I've been thinking of sharing with her some of the iterations we've created after her beautiful brainchild.
 
2018-02-08 12:17:25 PM  

The Third Man: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

I'm guessing "acidic".

/And that just isn't good, basically.


That's why using a grapefruit is a rookie mistake.  Lightly microwaved cantaloupe is the way to go.

/or honeydew if you're feeling fancy
 
2018-02-08 12:18:07 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


Nope. Just you.
Freak.
 
2018-02-08 12:18:11 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


Nope, it's just you.
 
2018-02-08 12:18:24 PM  

DijitalDharma: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

I am a female, so... no. I am assuming a bunch of you male farkers can tell me, though.


Strap-on?
 
2018-02-08 12:18:58 PM  
Maybe it's time to release the other memo. The Democrat's one.
 
2018-02-08 12:19:24 PM  

meat0918: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLTgW​d​Xrx3U
 
2018-02-08 12:20:03 PM  

Mike_LowELL: I don't know if you guys are watching FOX News right now, but there's some seriously scary shiat going down, they're doing an overhead shot, there's about thirty million grapefruits traveling north up I-95 right now, they're destroying everyone and everything in their path.

Word I'm hearing is that this is going to come out very soon, but Devin Nunes is the Larry Nassar of grapefruits and the grapefruits are not planning to give the man a trial.  Pentagon is preparing military action, but you need completely different tactics to fight a grapefruit than you would a terrorist, I don't even think the military has the budget to give every active service member a spoon.

Everyone here knows that I'm all in favor of violence and chaos, but let's be straight here, the grapefruits get Devin Nunes, they're not going to stop there, they're going to try and kill every person on the entire planet, and on the way there, they're going to recruit all the other fruits and vegetables to their cause.

We spent millions of years eating sweet, delicious grapefruits and now they are going to eat us.  Dear God, we don't have a chance.


The people of Philadelphia celebrating a Super Bowl victory do not want to be called grapefruit
 
2018-02-08 12:21:16 PM  
I really wish Fox News would learn a new word.  I'm getting tired of seeing the word "bombshell."  And since Fox has been using it repeatedly you know that is where the Dotard got it from.

It is absolutely terrifying to look at the Fox News home page compared to other news sources.  If someone only got their news from Fox it is like living in some kind of weird alternate reality.  And, yes, I know there are plenty of people who actually do this.
 
2018-02-08 12:21:43 PM  

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: meat0918: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLTgWd​Xrx3U


Username checks out.  Not clicking that video.
 
2018-02-08 12:21:48 PM  
Poor Devin. All he wanted was to be loved. By citrus.
 
2018-02-08 12:21:50 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Read it!  Read it and weep you Democratic wench!  It was a beautiful memo with words and symbols and it makes Trump innocent.  Innocent!
 
2018-02-08 12:21:52 PM  
More Than Words Featuring Devin Nunes
Youtube RQh82mbFToQ
 
2018-02-08 12:22:05 PM  

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: meat0918: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLTgWd​Xrx3U


Dang!

Beat me to it.
 
2018-02-08 12:22:29 PM  

DijitalDharma: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

I am a female, so... no. I am assuming a bunch of you male farkers can tell me, though.


Oh don't go there around here.  They're going to want to start hearing banana stories.
 
2018-02-08 12:22:33 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


Ya got yr. project lined up for this afternoon? (!)
- Just kidding, don't get a seed stuck in yr pee-hole.
- Leave it to the professionals, like our congresscritters.
 
2018-02-08 12:22:53 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


The fact that it's so clearly a stock photo somehow makes it more amusing to me...
 
2018-02-08 12:22:59 PM  

Mike_LowELL: I don't know if you guys are watching FOX News right now, but there's some seriously scary shiat going down, they're doing an overhead shot, there's about thirty million grapefruits traveling north up I-95 right now, they're destroying everyone and everything in their path.

Word I'm hearing is that this is going to come out very soon, but Devin Nunes is the Larry Nassar of grapefruits and the grapefruits are not planning to give the man a trial.  Pentagon is preparing military action, but you need completely different tactics to fight a grapefruit than you would a terrorist, I don't even think the military has the budget to give every active service member a spoon.

Everyone here knows that I'm all in favor of violence and chaos, but let's be straight here, the grapefruits get Devin Nunes, they're not going to stop there, they're going to try and kill every person on the entire planet, and on the way there, they're going to recruit all the other fruits and vegetables to their cause.

We spent millions of years eating sweet, delicious grapefruits and now they are going to eat us.  Dear God, we don't have a chance.


Dont be so rash. I say we give them Devin and see if they are satisfied with their revenge of grapefruit-raping him to death*. If they still seek assholess to violate, we can give them Ryan and McConnell as tribute. No need to get innocents involved, we've got plenty of assholes to work our way through before that. It's asshole all the way down.

*short version, it stings more than other kinds
 
2018-02-08 12:23:44 PM  

the_innkeeper: DijitalDharma: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

I am a female, so... no. I am assuming a bunch of you male farkers can tell me, though.

Strap-on?


I don't want to have to tell you this, but a woman's nerve receptors do not extend themselves to our sex toys. Unfortunately.
 
2018-02-08 12:23:48 PM  
He's gonna need a bigger fruit. Time for Phase 2: the Pomelo

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 12:24:39 PM  

DijitalDharma: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

I am a female, so... no. I am assuming a bunch of you male farkers can tell me, though.


abrahamlincolnverylegitdildoquote.jpg.

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: meat0918: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLTgWd​Xrx3U


img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size

THAT VIDEO GOT WEIRD MAN.
 
2018-02-08 12:25:33 PM  

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: meat0918: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLTgWd​Xrx3U


Thank you. I thought I was the only one around here who had seen that video, like, a couple years ago.

It's weird to say this, but I'd always associated farking a grapefruit with a sassy black woman, not Devin Nunes. (Was that the first time in history that particular sentence has been written?)

Also... user name checks out.
 
2018-02-08 12:25:39 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?


Feel free to give it a try and tell us the results.
 
2018-02-08 12:25:39 PM  

Gangster of Boats: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/RQh82mbF​ToQ]


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-08 12:26:15 PM  

4seasons85!: Anastacya: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

Acidic. Tingly. Squishy.

/I would say more but I don't want to get a timeout

Wouldn't it burn? All that acid going in your urethra would have to sting like a biatch!!


Presumably. I don't have the proper equipment to ponder that line of inquiry.
 
2018-02-08 12:26:23 PM  

DijitalDharma: the_innkeeper: DijitalDharma: Markoff_Cheney: Anyone else getting honestly curious how farking a grapefruit would work/feel?

I am a female, so... no. I am assuming a bunch of you male farkers can tell me, though.

Strap-on?

I don't want to have to tell you this, but a woman's nerve receptors do not extend themselves to our sex toys. Unfortunately.


Yeah, that would just be awkwardly destroying fruit.
 
2018-02-08 12:26:31 PM  

factoryconnection: Let's get cynical... cynical.

Nunes has gone from "some House rep" to "household name" in a matter of months.  More than that, it is a product of him going all-in on Trump.  Who likes Trump but isn't much for digging through detailed analysis beyond what Hannity says?  Besides Trump, that would be rural Republican voters like those in CA-22.  Even given his national-stage image as a blunderer, this whole thing will cement his place in the hearts of his constituents.  Who decides whether he keeps his job: the nation's assembled mass of people who read dissections of public policy or that district's voters?

So that leaves Speaker Ryan, who decides the leadership of various committees.  Maybe he could pick a new HIC chair, but then that would require action to back up his "concerned Ryan face" words about Trump.  I'll take "things that won't happen for $200, Alex."


Not 100% sure on this. If Nunes continues to fark up and embarass the party, not only will he lose support of the GOP, his constituents are more concerned about things like water in the valley. It's an immediate and important issue for them. If he fails on that, they're nto really going to care that he STUG IT to some libs as their crops are all dying from drought.
 
2018-02-08 12:26:40 PM  
The chickens weep in jealousy
 
2018-02-08 12:27:04 PM  
The GOP memo ... has not proved to be the game-changer that some of President Trump's most ardent supporters had hoped for.

Yeah, you'd expect a cherry-picked partisan bullshiat narrative, that everyone knew was a cherry-picked partisan bullshiat narrative, and even some fellow republicans admitted was a cherry-picked partisan bullshiat narrative, would gain more traction.
 
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