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(The Smoking Gun)   Naked, covered in Crisco, and trailing taser wires running through the snow is no way to go through life, son   ( thesmokinggun.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Beatty, Arrest, dog bit Beatty, Lonnie Beatty, Beatty burst, Resisting arrest, Misdemeanor, naked Pennsylvania man  
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3650 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2018 at 8:03 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-07 06:47:34 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Never put Crisco on your penis.
It's shortening.
 
2018-02-07 07:19:57 PM  
Sez you
 
2018-02-07 07:22:46 PM  
Sounds like a sexytime gone wrong.
 
2018-02-07 08:04:40 PM  
Sounds like a clever opening for hangover 3!
 
2018-02-07 08:05:15 PM  
Well... it's ONE way.
 
2018-02-07 08:05:38 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 08:05:41 PM  
Good way to kill a weekend though
 
2018-02-07 08:13:00 PM  
Everything about that story seems to make sense unfortunately.

/Be great if there was a video though
//With Yakety Sax
 
2018-02-07 08:13:33 PM  
That ain't the way to have fun, son!
 
2018-02-07 08:15:53 PM  
I am so sick of you judging me, subby. If tripping balls naked covered in oil is wrong I don't want to be right.
 
2018-02-07 08:15:58 PM  
Poor bastard.
 
2018-02-07 08:16:28 PM  
The problem with LSD these days is that chemicals that mimic LSD's effects that legal and are far easier to make have flooded the market.

They're also far more prone to adverse reaction in large doses.  Including death.  A responsible government would legalize LSD in response.

I wish we had one of those.

Was this young man on LSD?  I doubt it.  I've seen some naked freakouts in my day, but I've never seen anyone go hyper-violent.  Generally someone losing their shiat on acid will attempt to get away from people, not attack them.
 
2018-02-07 08:17:41 PM  
There is a silver lining to these kind of stories, this is karma for those dirty cops.  For each guy shot, have to capture and arrest 3 naked high guys.
 
2018-02-07 08:18:04 PM  
Not me this time.
 
2018-02-07 08:18:06 PM  
Wow.  Just wow.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 08:18:49 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 08:19:42 PM  
The Winter Olympics keep getting weirder and weirder.
 
2018-02-07 08:23:32 PM  
As always it's a hell of a way to go through life.
 
2018-02-07 08:23:56 PM  
thesmokinggun.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 08:25:47 PM  
I knew a hooker once named Minnie Mazola.
 
2018-02-07 08:26:32 PM  
He must've gotten lost, been part of a convoy, or something...
 
2018-02-07 08:28:55 PM  
 Back in the day I just woke up the next with a sore face from all the laughing and smiling. Those gargoyles had the best jokes. And we just ignored all the giant bees.
 
2018-02-07 08:29:54 PM  
I swear eagle fans are weird.
 
2018-02-07 08:30:19 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 08:31:28 PM  

Anastacya: Sounds like a sexytime gone wrong.


If that is wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
2018-02-07 08:32:26 PM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: The problem with LSD these days is that chemicals that mimic LSD's effects that legal and are far easier to make have flooded the market.

They're also far more prone to adverse reaction in large doses.  Including death.  A responsible government would legalize LSD in response.

I wish we had one of those.

Was this young man on LSD?  I doubt it.  I've seen some naked freakouts in my day, but I've never seen anyone go hyper-violent.  Generally someone losing their shiat on acid will attempt to get away from people, not attack them.


This.   Ignoring tazers and assaulting people is not a side affect of acid.   Even a bad trip won't make you that out of your mind.   Either he took something else or he had a psychotic break or something.
 
2018-02-07 08:35:16 PM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: The problem with LSD these days is that chemicals that mimic LSD's effects that legal and are far easier to make have flooded the market.

They're also far more prone to adverse reaction in large doses.  Including death.  A responsible government would legalize LSD in response.

I wish we had one of those.

Was this young man on LSD?  I doubt it.  I've seen some naked freakouts in my day, but I've never seen anyone go hyper-violent.  Generally someone losing their shiat on acid will attempt to get away from people, not attack them.


As I recall, it will make you laugh incessantly and make your lady, shall we say, excited to see you.  But I don't recall anything approaching even angry drunk violent much less drug freak out violent.
 
2018-02-07 08:36:16 PM  

dkulprit: backhand.slap.of.reason: The problem with LSD these days is that chemicals that mimic LSD's effects that legal and are far easier to make have flooded the market.

They're also far more prone to adverse reaction in large doses.  Including death.  A responsible government would legalize LSD in response.

I wish we had one of those.

Was this young man on LSD?  I doubt it.  I've seen some naked freakouts in my day, but I've never seen anyone go hyper-violent.  Generally someone losing their shiat on acid will attempt to get away from people, not attack them.

This.   Ignoring tazers and assaulting people is not a side affect of acid.   Even a bad trip won't make you that out of your mind.   Either he took something else or he had a psychotic break or something.


Jimsonweed seeds
 
2018-02-07 08:36:39 PM  
Don't presume to tell me how to play Electric Nekkid Slip & Slide
 
2018-02-07 08:37:30 PM  

Hoopy Frood: I knew a hooker once named Minnie Mazola.


I read that in Cab Calloway's voice.

/hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-hi
 
2018-02-07 08:48:18 PM  

Bslim: [thesmokinggun.com image 350x350]


I bet he has a tattoo of Steve-O from Jackass somewhere on his body
 
2018-02-07 08:49:58 PM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: The problem with LSD these days is that chemicals that mimic LSD's effects that legal and are far easier to make have flooded the market.

They're also far more prone to adverse reaction in large doses.  Including death.  A responsible government would legalize LSD in response.

I wish we had one of those.

Was this young man on LSD?  I doubt it.  I've seen some naked freakouts in my day, but I've never seen anyone go hyper-violent.  Generally someone losing their shiat on acid will attempt to get away from people, not attack them.


Yep. I couldn't even play Forza while on acid because I wasn't able to drive past 50 kmph, and going that slowly in the game you can see that the spectators are just 2d carboard cutout models which was terrifying and.. what were we talking about again?
 
2018-02-07 09:21:16 PM  

Starkaryen: [img.fark.net image 337x250]


Damn, missed the over/under of this .gif by 1.
 
2018-02-07 09:35:57 PM  
Police, however, had difficulty controlling Beatty since he was "naked and covered in cooking oil."

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 09:43:52 PM  
Man gets tased doesnt even drop cigarette 'I'll Get You Bitch'
Youtube DNO1zVN4Lag
 
2018-02-07 10:11:07 PM  
There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 10:35:46 PM  
I don't know, it sounds like it's worth a shot. Grease me up.
 
2018-02-07 10:42:07 PM  
Any combination of 3 out of 4 of the above mentioned circumstances works for me.
 
2018-02-07 11:06:18 PM  
just another Tuesday in Pennsyltucky

/sounds like fun though, the covered in cooking oil part, not the violence and arrest part
 
2018-02-07 11:13:33 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 11:49:11 PM  
Or as Eagles fans call it, "Sunday night in Philadelphia."
 
2018-02-08 03:19:19 AM  

DOCTORD000M: [Youtube DNO1zVN4Lag image 480x270][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/DNO1zVN4​Lag]


Oh that has to be a shiny, shiny moment - to go from "Hah I'm gonna taze you!" to "Huh... didn't activate did it?  I just shot you with something painful, annoying, and not at all incapacitating.  Time... out?"

/ it didn't
// I don't care WHAT you're on, the muscle contractions alone will stop you for a bit
/// a complete lack of pain sensitivity/wasted immunity/crazy powers don't help when your muscles are quite literally too busy contracting randomly to listen to what you want them to do
 
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