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(Gizmodo)   Dogs are beautiful, perfect and all of them are going to heaven but occasionally they'll turn on the stove while trying to get a leftover pancake and start a house fire (w/video)   ( gizmodo.com) divider line
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3462 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2018 at 11:50 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-02-07 09:56:53 AM  
Dogs operate stoves. Everybody pancake!
 
2018-02-07 09:58:44 AM  
Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.
 
2018-02-07 10:10:40 AM  
Still a good dog Brent.
 
2018-02-07 11:32:30 AM  
Typical goldens. A stranger come in the house and they don't bat an eye.
 
2018-02-07 11:54:41 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


/We are Farmers.
//Duh duh dah duh duh dun!
 
2018-02-07 11:55:51 AM  
Fake news.  Fark has assured me that Heaven isn't real, dogs are not as good as cats, and most obviously Drumpf started the fire.
 
2018-02-07 11:56:01 AM  
WalkingCarpet

Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.

Or train them not to get up on the counter and stove.
 
2018-02-07 11:56:04 AM  
img.memecdn.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 11:56:06 AM  
Old unit, I guess?  Don't modern ones have the knobs on the rear of the stove, rather than up front?
 
2018-02-07 11:56:55 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 11:58:19 AM  
Cops are pigs though, amirite?

/i'm not doing it rite.
 
2018-02-07 11:58:20 AM  
BAG DOG. NO PANCAKE, now go find your friend Sparky.

robotronics.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 11:59:53 AM  

Victoly: [i.imgur.com image 457x336]


Pork chop sandwiches!
 
2018-02-07 12:00:09 PM  
guilty dog trash.
Youtube irSC4-j_NjY

/still funny. BAD TANK.
 
2018-02-07 12:00:40 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: WalkingCarpet

Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.

Or train them not to get up on the counter and stove.


Eh, a smart dog will know when the owner is not around.

Anyway, lots of reasons to not leave food lying around even when you don't have dogs.

/do you want ants?
 
2018-02-07 12:01:37 PM  
Dogs are beautiful, perfect and all of them are going to heaven


Homer: I want to tell you about the most wonderful place in the world: Doggie Heaven. In Doggie Heaven, there are mountains of bones, and you can't turn around without sniffing another dog's butt! And all the best dogs are there, Old Yeller, and about eight Lassies.

Bart: Is there a Doggie Hell?

Homer: Well of course, there couldn't be a heaven if there weren't a hell.

Bart: Who's in there?

Homer: Oh, uh Hitler's dog and that dog Nixon had, what's his name, um, Chester

Lisa: Checkers.

Homer: Yeah! One of the Lassies is in there, too. The mean one! The one who mauled Timmy!
 
2018-02-07 12:02:06 PM  
BUT BUT BUT IT'S

i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 12:02:07 PM  

WalkingCarpet: Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.


4 words too many.  People leave for work with leftover food on the counter?
 
2018-02-07 12:05:05 PM  
wingedkat

Random Anonymous Blackmail: WalkingCarpet

Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.

Or train them not to get up on the counter and stove.

Eh, a smart dog will know when the owner is not around.

Anyway, lots of reasons to not leave food lying around even when you don't have dogs.

/do you want ants?


A smart dog also know what is unacceptable behavior and not do it.

Ants are a different story, apples to oranges.
 
2018-02-07 12:06:05 PM  

hammettman: WalkingCarpet: Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.

4 words too many.  People leave for work with leftover food on the counter?


Well, I wouldn't want the rats to starve, Mr. High Horse.
 
2018-02-07 12:10:13 PM  
Got a new range a few months ago. Last month we discovered that our middle Boston (the weird one) can turn the knobs if he decides to check the stove top for crumbs (which he can't reach, but has high hopes) filling the kitchen with gas*
 So now we are fastidious about cleaning and wiping the stovetop down. It's really only a matter of time.


 *from the stove, as all 3 are perfectly capable of filling the house with gas on their own.
 
2018-02-07 12:10:18 PM  
Leftover pancakes.
Is it possible to use these words together ?

/Yes, I'm fat
 
2018-02-07 12:11:51 PM  
Had a near house-fire experience this week so I'm feeling this one.  Still can't quite nail down what the cause was - it was either: 1) the cat; or 2) I bumped it by accident when putting my lunch together.  Ether way it was certainly a scare.  I left to go to work and thank goodness the wife was home, as she smelled something burning a while later and went into the kitchen to see a cutting board smoldering on top of a very ON stove burner.  That could have been MUCH worse if nobody was home.
 
2018-02-07 12:12:22 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: wingedkat

Random Anonymous Blackmail: WalkingCarpet

Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.


 People do what the internets tells them to do. Like dump their black cats and get a german shepherd or a pitbull to show how awesome they are.
 
2018-02-07 12:16:26 PM  

ChipNASA: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/irSC4-j_​NjY]
/still funny. BAD TANK.


Bwahahahaha. Dog guilt is funny. They know they did something they shouldn't have. I guess they hope you didn't notice. When you call them on it, it's head and tail down with "....but, but, but... I'm so cute and lovable!"
 
2018-02-07 12:17:39 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Old unit, I guess?  Don't modern ones have the knobs on the rear of the stove, rather than up front?


Nope. Plenty of current models have them in front.
 
2018-02-07 12:19:11 PM  

The_Sponge: [img.fark.net image 560x314]

/We are Farmers.
//Duh duh dah duh duh dun!


My absolute fav:
Mer Mutts - Farmers
Youtube 5jd3t0Hb-nY
 
2018-02-07 12:19:11 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: WalkingCarpet

Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.

Or train them not to get up on the counter and stove.


Or put lipstick on their buttholes so you can figure out what areas of the kitchen they can't reach. It's those places where you stack your dirty dishes and leftovers.

Works like a charm.
 
2018-02-07 12:21:30 PM  
Another great reason to buy an induction range, the best of all worlds for cooking. As quick of a temperature response as gas, very energy efficient, the safest of any range type, and extremely easy to clean.

Got a great deal on one, even at entry level they are great appliances. They cost more, but it's a once in 20 years purchase, you should get something nice.
 
2018-02-07 12:25:30 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: ChipNASA: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/irSC4-j_​NjY]
/still funny. BAD TANK.

Bwahahahaha. Dog guilt is funny. They know they did something they shouldn't have. I guess they hope you didn't notice. When you call them on it, it's head and tail down with "....but, but, but... I'm so cute and lovable!"


Problem is, some of them do it regardless of who was at fault.  They just know you aren't going to be happy and go into "Dog Shame" mode by default.

My Basset Hound used this to her advantage for a long time.  I would come home, something would be knocked over/destroyed and my German Shepherd looked guilty as hell while the hound just snoozed.  Couldn't do any remedial training since I hadn't witnessed it, but finally went and got one of those nanny cams and discovered who the REAL culprit was.

/German Shepherd will still look guilty for no reason.  Don't know why he does that.
 
2018-02-07 12:25:34 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Old unit, I guess?  Don't modern ones have the knobs on the rear of the stove, rather than up front?


No.
 
2018-02-07 12:29:08 PM  
I have electric burners. I take ALL the burners out of the stove top and put them on a high shelf. I also have those cheap Miles Kimball black and white marble pattern rectangular two-banger burner covers on the stove.

One thing I will say is a stove top is never a storage device. I figure someday the house will burn down because the enamel on the Miles Kimball burner covers is a highly flammable, explosive coating.

I take the burners out because 1. I use a induction hotplate for much of my cooking. and 2. I have visitors who have no problem risking my life in their pursuit of quicker times to the grunting slop meet they call dinner at the table.

Just as an example, you CAN decrease cooking times on cast iron skillets by putting the burner on high. Then you can invert the skillet and use it solely as a crepe pan. If it's still in one piece.
 
2018-02-07 12:29:52 PM  

Skyd1v: UtileDysfunktion: ChipNASA: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/irSC4-j_​NjY]
/still funny. BAD TANK.

Bwahahahaha. Dog guilt is funny. They know they did something they shouldn't have. I guess they hope you didn't notice. When you call them on it, it's head and tail down with "....but, but, but... I'm so cute and lovable!"

Problem is, some of them do it regardless of who was at fault.  They just know you aren't going to be happy and go into "Dog Shame" mode by default.

My Basset Hound used this to her advantage for a long time.  I would come home, something would be knocked over/destroyed and my German Shepherd looked guilty as hell while the hound just snoozed.  Couldn't do any remedial training since I hadn't witnessed it, but finally went and got one of those nanny cams and discovered who the REAL culprit was.

/German Shepherd will still look guilty for no reason.  Don't know why he does that.


He probably did something else that you haven't found out about yet. Have the neighbors asked if you've seen their cat?
 
2018-02-07 12:34:27 PM  
Skyd1v

/German Shepherd will still look guilty for no reason. Don't know why he does that.

Raised Catholic, great, great grand pappy was part of the Nazi army.
But probably because the are smart and know what the other dog is doing is wrong.
 
2018-02-07 12:48:18 PM  
i had a huge black cat, i mean he could lay on top of a x-large pizza box and almost take up the whole thing - this cat would get in the tub and stretch out and reach from back to front. anywho, he was fascinated with pizza boxes. so one night i got a pizza, brought it home and grabbed a few slices, put the rest in freezer bags and sat the box on top of the stove. a few minutes went by and i notice the kitchen filling up with smoke. Jimi, the cats name, had jumped up to get on the pizza box and turned one of the knobs that turns on a burner. half the box was engulfed as i got to it and flung it out the front door, which is in the kitchen. what a time.

in june of 2013 i was watching a braves game end with him beside me, it was passed time to feed him and his brother. the game ends and i get up to go open cans of food. jimi got up in his normal fervor and collapsed. i didn't know what to do, so i got him in a towel and headed to a vet that happened to be open till 11PM. i knew he was gone but had to try. again this cat was rather large not fat. the vet said he more than likely had cardiomyopathy. he was 7. i was crushed, he was one of kind snuggler at bed time.

it is me and his brother now, who isn't the size jimi was but is still a big cat. the lessen i learned from jimi was to unplug the oven when not in use.
 
2018-02-07 12:52:56 PM  
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs:

Or put lipstick on their buttholes so you can figure out what areas of the kitchen they can't reach. It's those places where you stack your dirty dishes and leftovers.

Works like a charm.


O_o
 
2018-02-07 12:55:32 PM  
What, he was supposed to eat the pancake cold?
 
2018-02-07 12:55:42 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-07 12:56:53 PM  

TsarTom: Jiro Dreams Of McRibs:

Or put lipstick on their buttholes so you can figure out what areas of the kitchen they can't reach. It's those places where you stack your dirty dishes and leftovers.

Works like a charm.

O_o


The cat lipstick on the counter thread is in there. Right behind the ballsack conundrum.
https://www.shortlist.com/news/the-12​-​most-epic-fark-threads-ever/38470
 
2018-02-07 01:00:02 PM  
Looked to find out what a Nest Cam was...
Robins leaving the nest - cam 2
Youtube Wja2zI7HezM
 
2018-02-07 01:08:54 PM  

Sum Dum Gai: Another great reason to buy an induction range, the best of all worlds for cooking. As quick of a temperature response as gas, very energy efficient, the safest of any range type, and extremely easy to clean.

Got a great deal on one, even at entry level they are great appliances. They cost more, but it's a once in 20 years purchase, you should get something nice.


A bad reason to get an induction range: Say goodbye to, and then replace with induction-ready, your collection of aluminum, copper, glass, most of your stainless cookware. You can keep the cast iron.

No thanks.

I have a healthy and very fit Chow dog who, in spite of his name, doesn't care about illegal food. And he can only jump high enough to get up a set of stairs. But he doesn't. He walks up slowly, one step at a time.
 
2018-02-07 01:18:23 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Old unit, I guess?  Don't modern ones have the knobs on the rear of the stove, rather than up front?


Why would a stove have bobs in the rear? Are you suppose to turn on the burner while you are over it?

Most stoves now heat without open flames.
 
2018-02-07 01:21:40 PM  

punkwrestler: Why would a stove have bobs in the rear? Are you suppose to turn on the burner while you are over it?


So toddlers can't reach up and turn the burners on.

And yes, that's exactly how you turn the burners on.  Sucks that you have to set yourself on fire every time you want a little mac-n-cheeze, but that's just the price we have to pay.
 
2018-02-07 01:22:24 PM  

cefm: Had a near house-fire experience this week so I'm feeling this one.  Still can't quite nail down what the cause was - it was either: 1) the cat; or 2) I bumped it by accident when putting my lunch together.  Ether way it was certainly a scare.  I left to go to work and thank goodness the wife was home, as she smelled something burning a while later and went into the kitchen to see a cutting board smoldering on top of a very ON stove burner.  That could have been MUCH worse if nobody was home.


It was the cat. As established before in human history cats are jerks.
 
2018-02-07 01:22:51 PM  
Of course, you could be smart and not leave flammable items just sitting on the stove.

People are just so stupid, they don't think at all about what they are doing.
 
2018-02-07 01:27:53 PM  

What_Would_Jimi_Do: i had a huge black cat, i mean he could lay on top of a x-large pizza box and almost take up the whole thing - this cat would get in the tub and stretch out and reach from back to front. anywho, he was fascinated with pizza boxes. so one night i got a pizza, brought it home and grabbed a few slices, put the rest in freezer bags and sat the box on top of the stove. a few minutes went by and i notice the kitchen filling up with smoke. Jimi, the cats name, had jumped up to get on the pizza box and turned one of the knobs that turns on a burner. half the box was engulfed as i got to it and flung it out the front door, which is in the kitchen. what a time.

in june of 2013 i was watching a braves game end with him beside me, it was passed time to feed him and his brother. the game ends and i get up to go open cans of food. jimi got up in his normal fervor and collapsed. i didn't know what to do, so i got him in a towel and headed to a vet that happened to be open till 11PM. i knew he was gone but had to try. again this cat was rather large not fat. the vet said he more than likely had cardiomyopathy. he was 7. i was crushed, he was one of kind snuggler at bed time.

it is me and his brother now, who isn't the size jimi was but is still a big cat. the lessen i learned from jimi was to unplug the oven when not in use.


That's not always practicle.
 
2018-02-07 01:30:57 PM  

Skyd1v: punkwrestler: Why would a stove have bobs in the rear? Are you suppose to turn on the burner while you are over it?

So toddlers can't reach up and turn the burners on.

And yes, that's exactly how you turn the burners on.  Sucks that you have to set yourself on fire every time you want a little mac-n-cheeze, but that's just the price we have to pay.


While I am glad I am kid and pet free. At my height I would be roasted trying to turn the stove on.
 
2018-02-07 01:33:50 PM  

hammettman: WalkingCarpet: Clean up your house you farking slob and don't leave food out on the countertops if you have dogs.

4 words too many.  People leave for work with leftover food on the counter?


I'm not condoning it but looks like they have small children, mornings can be extremely chaotic when trying to get ready for work, making breakfast, getting the kids ready, etc, etc, etc.  Especially if you're doing it on your own.

Also, lol'ing at those dogs.  No reaction to the smoke, fire or smoke detector.  Well other than to say hi to the complete strangers coming in among all that going on.  My dog hears a smoke detector go of  6 houses down and it takes them 3 hours to calm down.
 
2018-02-07 01:36:58 PM  
Nice to see a Police Officer pet one of the dogs.
 
2018-02-07 01:39:05 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
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