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(Entertainment Weekly)   Netflix's decision to unexpectedly dump a Cloverfield sequel on unsuspecting Super Bowl audiences makes a lot more sense once you've seen the product   ( ew.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Cloverfield Paradox, Horror film, Alien, Blade Runner, Star Trek, new Cloverfield sequel, Film, Abrams-produced sci-fi franchise  
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2239 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Feb 2018 at 3:39 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-06 12:39:26 AM  
It felt like I was watching a high school production of "Alien". It was horrible.
 
2018-02-06 12:52:30 AM  
If it had gone for horror humor it could have been a fun movie but playing everything so deathly serious ruined it. Adding some dead kids to the main character to add gravity to the final act gave me bad memories of Gravity.  And shoehorning in the first Cloverfield didn't even make any sense, did that movie take place in this near-future dystopia? Everyone seemed to drive 2017-era vehicles in the first scene of this one, so maybe that one was in the future as well.

I liked Europa Report better.
 
2018-02-06 12:53:45 AM  
As I said in a previous thread, the best thing they could do with the movie is to repurpose it into a episode of the new MST3K.
 
2018-02-06 01:26:59 AM  
Just short of halfway through it right now (guy just lost his arm). Given what I've been hearing I think I'll get super baked later and finish it since I have no expectation it's going to make any kind of sense.
 
2018-02-06 03:49:00 AM  

serpent_sky: It felt like I was watching a high school production of "Alien". It was horrible.


Still a better love story than Prometheus.
 
2018-02-06 03:49:45 AM  
I feel like they forgot they were making a horror film several times. Or like they had two writers, one was doing a vaguely serious sci-fi and one was doing a horror film and they never talked to each other.
 
2018-02-06 04:22:20 AM  
Like all the Cloverfield related films, it's a mess. And rather than have the McGuffin in the room, they ALWAYS want the "surprise" ending. So much so, it's sort of like M. Night Shyamalan, and thus, it sort of negates itself.

I'd say I want my hour and 45 back, but I was playing with the Xbox, and the progress I made with this dumb movie actually was semi-productive. Kinda.

I would have been pissed to have paid actual cinema money to see it.
 
2018-02-06 04:55:48 AM  
I got excited at the credits, seeing the cast.
That didn't last long.
Chris O'Dowd is still damn funny though.
 
2018-02-06 05:02:27 AM  
Meanwhile over at Altered Coal, titties continue to bounce.
 
2018-02-06 05:40:59 AM  

hubiestubert: Like all the Cloverfield related films, it's a mess


I liked the first two. Both of those at least offered something fresh; sure the first was just Blair-Witch-meets-Godzilla, but hey, we'd never seen that before. The second was just a Twilight Zone episode, but it was a GOOD Twilight Zone episode.

This one was just a mishmash of a dozen movies that are just like it. It didn't even have a fun or fresh angle. If not for the Cloverfield title it would disappear in the Netflix lineup like so many time-passing B-flicks before it, only to be watched at 3 AM when you're bored and a little stoned.
 
2018-02-06 05:43:41 AM  
This reminds me of the other thread.....
 
2018-02-06 06:09:09 AM  
It was fine.
 
2018-02-06 07:15:29 AM  
Saw it last night. That was rough.
 
2018-02-06 07:20:36 AM  
I don't even own a television.
 
2018-02-06 07:27:36 AM  
I kind of liked it, although it would have been better as a series.  It had a series vibe to it, but they packed it all into one movie.  The self aware arm was silly, though, and should have been left out.  If they're in another version of their reality, why would a severed arm have a brain?

I really liked the original Cloverfield, but you have to jump in at the 15 minute mark and skip the inane party scene intro.  I'd love a serious followup movie that had a lot more monsters in it.  I liked the 2nd installment, but it felt like a completely independent movie from the first.  The only thing that tied it in was the last few seconds.
 
2018-02-06 07:28:05 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: I don't even own a television.


And yet here you are

Yes, you are special so special, unique and special like a precious snowflake

Now GTFO
 
2018-02-06 07:30:03 AM  
One splinter in my eye... they had artificial gravity in 2028 but no cool power source for the planet?  ugh...

And don't give me the spinning rings crap.  All of the angles of motion were ninety degrees off from where the force was being applied.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-06 07:35:05 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: I don't even own a television.


Neither do I.
 
2018-02-06 07:42:20 AM  
What bugs me the most about this franchise is that the original movie had a great premise. A found footage Kaiju movie is a neat idea. But then they went with a stupid looking monster (that, by the way, changes size throughout the film depending on what they need him to do), had completely unlikeable characters that made you not care about their ordeal, and spent a sizeable portion of the film focused on mutant lice because...a giant monster isn't scary enough I guess? So now nobody is going to want to revisit the premise.
 
2018-02-06 07:49:26 AM  
I liked it.
 
2018-02-06 07:55:29 AM  

Esroc: What bugs me the most about this franchise is that the original movie had a great premise. A found footage Kaiju movie is a neat idea. But then they went with a stupid looking monster (that, by the way, changes size throughout the film depending on what they need him to do), had completely unlikeable characters that made you not care about their ordeal, and spent a sizeable portion of the film focused on mutant lice because...a giant monster isn't scary enough I guess? So now nobody is going to want to revisit the premise.


Lice? I thought they were crabs
 
2018-02-06 07:56:02 AM  
hubiestubert:

I would have been pissed to have paid actual cinema money to see it.

That was the exact thing my wife said as the credits rolled.
 
2018-02-06 08:03:44 AM  

rcain: Esroc: What bugs me the most about this franchise is that the original movie had a great premise. A found footage Kaiju movie is a neat idea. But then they went with a stupid looking monster (that, by the way, changes size throughout the film depending on what they need him to do), had completely unlikeable characters that made you not care about their ordeal, and spent a sizeable portion of the film focused on mutant lice because...a giant monster isn't scary enough I guess? So now nobody is going to want to revisit the premise.

Lice? I thought they were crabs


If I'm remembering correctly, outside sources for the movie described them as parasites that lived on the monsters skin. But that still doesn't make sense because the size is all wrong. They were about the size of dogs, and the most consistent size of the monster would still be too small for a dog sized parasite to make any sense.

Just so many bad decisions in that movie.
 
2018-02-06 08:05:04 AM  

Esroc: rcain: Esroc: What bugs me the most about this franchise is that the original movie had a great premise. A found footage Kaiju movie is a neat idea. But then they went with a stupid looking monster (that, by the way, changes size throughout the film depending on what they need him to do), had completely unlikeable characters that made you not care about their ordeal, and spent a sizeable portion of the film focused on mutant lice because...a giant monster isn't scary enough I guess? So now nobody is going to want to revisit the premise.

Lice? I thought they were crabs

If I'm remembering correctly, outside sources for the movie described them as parasites that lived on the monsters skin. But that still doesn't make sense because the size is all wrong. They were about the size of dogs, and the most consistent size of the monster would still be too small for a dog sized parasite to make any sense.

Just so many bad decisions in that movie.


I liked watching Lizzie Caplan's head explode. That was a great decision!
 
2018-02-06 08:08:32 AM  
Not the best movie, but good enough for Monday night on the couch. I'm more satisfied with this than the last Alien movie.
 
2018-02-06 08:16:32 AM  

rcain: Esroc: rcain: Esroc: What bugs me the most about this franchise is that the original movie had a great premise. A found footage Kaiju movie is a neat idea. But then they went with a stupid looking monster (that, by the way, changes size throughout the film depending on what they need him to do), had completely unlikeable characters that made you not care about their ordeal, and spent a sizeable portion of the film focused on mutant lice because...a giant monster isn't scary enough I guess? So now nobody is going to want to revisit the premise.

Lice? I thought they were crabs

If I'm remembering correctly, outside sources for the movie described them as parasites that lived on the monsters skin. But that still doesn't make sense because the size is all wrong. They were about the size of dogs, and the most consistent size of the monster would still be too small for a dog sized parasite to make any sense.

Just so many bad decisions in that movie.

I liked watching Lizzie Caplan's head explode. That was a great decision!


I know you're making a joke but even that scene was incredibly stupid. Why do they make people explode? What purpose does it serve narratively? Is getting torn apart by an alien monster not "gruesome" enough? What scientific basis does that have? What use could those things have for turning their prey into soup? They have teeth, so if it's to make eating easier they should instead have a proboscis.

I could ramble on but I think I've made my point. They took an interesting idea and ran it into the ground with ridiculous scenarios and didn't think through any decision they made in favor of having gross-out scenes. The entire movie makes no goddamn sense.
 
2018-02-06 08:19:25 AM  
it felt like an episode of black mirror. It dropped pretenses of making much sense halfway in but I felt entertained. It could've gone way deeper into the paradox stuff but there was a lot that it felt like it was made just for shock.
 
2018-02-06 08:26:22 AM  

Confabulat: If it had gone for horror humor it could have been a fun movie but playing everything so deathly serious ruined it. Adding some dead kids to the main character to add gravity to the final act gave me bad memories of Gravity.  And shoehorning in the first Cloverfield didn't even make any sense, did that movie take place in this near-future dystopia? Everyone seemed to drive 2017-era vehicles in the first scene of this one, so maybe that one was in the future as well.

I liked Europa Report better.


The monster  made sense.  It was a dimension Mashup that spit into the face of space time laws.  They conveniently  spell that out for you in the beginning. Didn't make the rest of the movie all that good though.  I'd give the whole thing a C-
 
2018-02-06 08:31:36 AM  

rcain: The Googles Do Nothing: I don't even own a television.

And yet here you are

Yes, you are special so special, unique and special like a precious snowfl

rcain: The Googles Do Nothing: I don't even own a television.

And yet here you are

Yes, you are special so special, unique and special like a precious snowflake

Now GTFO


I'm late for Atheist Crossfit anyways.  See ya.
 
2018-02-06 08:34:37 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: rcain: The Googles Do Nothing: I don't even own a television.

And yet here you are

Yes, you are special so special, unique and special like a precious snowflrcain: The Googles Do Nothing: I don't even own a television.

And yet here you are

Yes, you are special so special, unique and special like a precious snowflake

Now GTFO

I'm late for Atheist Crossfit anyways.  See ya.


Whoa!  My page refreshed in the middle of a response and I quoted myself.  That's what I get for not using a Mac.....
 
2018-02-06 08:34:58 AM  

serpent_sky: It felt like I was watching a high school production of "Alien". It was horrible.


Eh, I felt more like an amateur reboot of Event Horizon with more kooky shiat and less blood.
 
2018-02-06 08:37:06 AM  

BafflerMeal: One splinter in my eye... they had artificial gravity in 2028 but no cool power source for the planet?  ugh...

And don't give me the spinning rings crap.  All of the angles of motion were ninety degrees off from where the force was being applied.

[img.fark.net image 500x304]


Unfortunately, I've found a great number of Sci Fi series' grasp on actual physics is highschool dropout at best. Very few even come close to reality, with the notable exception (movie/series-wise) being The Expanse.
 
2018-02-06 09:03:38 AM  
I may have missed something, but I never figured out how Earth 1's station seemed to have the electronic records of Earth 2's station.
 
2018-02-06 09:06:27 AM  

jjorsett: I may have missed something, but I never figured out how Earth 1's station seemed to have the electronic records of Earth 2's station.


Timeywimy space dimensional mash up. Same reason the blonde showed up on the wall.
 
2018-02-06 09:11:31 AM  

jjorsett: I may have missed something, but I never figured out how Earth 1's station seemed to have the electronic records of Earth 2's station.


Eh, it's quantum physics handwavium.

Basically, one of the poorly articulated plot points is that somehow the magic core they were building could cause some sort of...quantum singularity? where it existed in some sort of superposition among multiple dimensions/alternate universes simultaneously, and by creating this junction, not only did it merge with other instances of itself across these parallel universes creating a single multidimensional point, aspects of those other dimensions were brought across.

So, just like the "bad woman" was from a parallel dimension where things were vastly different, electronic records from those other dimensions somehow showed up in the computer...ostensibly because the station itself, as near as I can figure, is either an amalgum of the various versions of itself, or they're all competing to exist in the same space, so you never know which reality you're accessing.

in other words, this singularity point and everything in it was not just the one discrete reality crossing over, but a merged superstate with ALL the realities coalesced together in one discreet existence.

Or, more plainly, it's bullshiat bad quantum physics used as a plot device.
 
2018-02-06 09:11:47 AM  
I liked it well enough.  It's probably my least favorite of the Cloverfield movies, but it was fun enough that I don't regret watching it.  The cast was enjoyable.  Chris O'Dowd is always fun, and it was nice getting a short appearance by Donal Logue and that one actress from Silicon Valley.

While I do like the Cloverfield brand being used to basically rescue small sci-fi films that otherwise would get completely lost, I do think it would be nice if once in a while they could develop a dedicated Cloverfield movie from the ground up.  The small easter eggs and ending of this one were fun, but it would be good to have one that's better integrated into the franchise, especially if it's the movie you intend to use to explain all the other movies in the franchise.  They probably should have left this one to be more isolated and developed a separate one that was more fleshed out to be their linchpin.
 
2018-02-06 09:13:44 AM  
And yeah, I know the science in the movie was horrible.  I basically spent an hour and a half doing this in my head:
s.quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-06 09:17:35 AM  

BafflerMeal: jjorsett: I may have missed something, but I never figured out how Earth 1's station seemed to have the electronic records of Earth 2's station.

Timeywimy space dimensional mash up. Same reason the blonde showed up on the wall.


The problem I have is, assuming that you *were* to create some sort of quantum superstate where multiple realities occurred, you'd have complete chaos because *all possible* states would exist simultaneously, at least based on my poor understanding of the whole thing.

it could have been an interesting thing to play with tho, playing on the whole "until observed" thing, meaning that, fictionally speaking, if your brain as it processed the universe's data said that something or some circumstance *was reality* and processed it that way, it would appear because your brain "measured" reality to include that object.  It would be similar to the events in Sphere, or could have been.

Thinking about this, even if it wasn't in the movie, it kind of makes me wonder, and it further makes me wonder whether the monster and all the stuff that happened, even their ability to 'fix' things was a product of this superstate and a potential influence on it, leaving them in a reality of horrors because they created it.
 
2018-02-06 09:23:43 AM  
If it was mentioned in TFA or the thread, I missed it. Is it another found footage movie? Because I hate those. The original Cloverfield was the worst at the whole "put down the farking camera and run" thing.
 
2018-02-06 09:28:26 AM  

Mugato: If it was mentioned in TFA or the thread, I missed it. Is it another found footage movie? Because I hate those. The original Cloverfield was the worst at the whole "put down the farking camera and run" thing.


It's not found footage.  It's a normally shot movie, like the second one.
 
2018-02-06 09:50:38 AM  
The entire marketing thing pissed me off, and I refuse to watch it. Why the fark do I care about the Super Bowl interfering with when I can watch something? I pay for the goddamn service, not for some fake imposed blackout.

Also, no offense, most of your sci-fi nerds aren't giving a shiat about football. Maybe if you'd released your shiatty film sooner, Netflix, could have had less folks out trashing Philly? Just a thought.
 
2018-02-06 09:52:33 AM  
BafflerMeal:

And don't give me the spinning rings crap.  All of the angles of motion were ninety degrees off from where the force was being applied.

This really got to me.  The physics was bad -- really bad.  It first I thought -- great!  spinning rings for artificial gravity...   and then I saw the quarters had their windows on the outside of the rings... right where the the downward force should have been    Later, we have a person submerged in water exposed to space & the person and ALL of that water instantly freeze.   That would absolutely not happen that way, and certainly not that fast.   Another bit had the crew walking in non-spinning sections just fine.   What's the point of having rotating sections if there are no rules for gravity on this ship?
 
2018-02-06 09:55:33 AM  

houstondragon: Maybe if you'd released your shiatty film sooner, Netflix, could have had less folks out trashing Philly? Just a thought.


Yeah, I'm sure that was the reason behind all those riots and that guy eating horseshiat.
 
2018-02-06 10:20:59 AM  
This leads us to a problem with Netflix metrics, because I'll bet dollars to donuts Netflix is going to proclaim this film a big success.

Because Netflix is not transparent about metrics or how they're used, it's impossible to know what they consider a success and why they consider it so. It seems like the most likely metrics they'd look at are raw viewership numbers for individual content, the amount of the film/show that viewers watch before they stop, and how sustainable the audience is over a longer period of time (say, the first month). All of that likely gets fed into a predictive model and estimates the longevity of the content and the ratio of bang for buck.

Because Netflix is an "all you can eat" type of service where the newest content costs the end-user the same as the oldest content, this means that there's a low barrier to checking out new things. Something that sounds familiar (by being tied into an existing franchise), which has a lot of social media buzz or which has recognizable stars is going to do way better under such an environment than something that is generally high in quality because Netlfix makes it very difficult to assess the quality of a film or show (e.g. there are no tie-ins to critical or audience assessments or aggregate scores beyond the "Match" metric, which is pretty dubious).

Whereas Netflix was once a restaurant with a broad menu, it's turning into an all-you-can-eat buffet where the content can be served up to a broad customer base efficiently, but will begin to get blander and less exciting over time. They'll still produce some good content, but increasingly, their focus will be on pleasing the broader audience. That's where these sort of metrics lead.

(It won't necessarily be the same for competitors. Hulu, I suspect, is going to double down on prestige content after the success of The Handmaid's Tale, and Amazon is going to spend a lot of money trying to figure out what it wants to deliver, because they still don't seem to have a discernible strategy beyond opening their wallets up...  though that will still mean some solid stuff like Sneaky Pete, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and The Tick)
 
2018-02-06 10:23:57 AM  

Mugato: houstondragon: Maybe if you'd released your shiatty film sooner, Netflix, could have had less folks out trashing Philly? Just a thought.

Yeah, I'm sure that was the reason behind all those riots and that guy eating horseshiat.


Well The movie isreally bad
 
2018-02-06 10:26:29 AM  
Yep, I fell for it and watched.  It was pretty difficult to finish, but I did it!  Yay me!
 
2018-02-06 10:26:58 AM  
I can enjoy the occasional B-level sci-fi movie.  There's certainly a place for them.  I can't wait until Cloverfield 6: Clovie vs Puppet Master.
 
2018-02-06 10:34:20 AM  

NeoCortex42: I can enjoy the occasional B-level sci-fi movie.  There's certainly a place for them.  I can't wait until Cloverfield 6: Clovie vs Puppet Master.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-06 10:37:24 AM  
I won't be watching cloverfield, but I will be watching Altered Carbon again.
 
2018-02-06 10:42:07 AM  
I dunno...I kind of liked it.  fluffy, had some interesting ideas and then some 'writer needs something weird to happen just because' ideas.
 
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