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(MSN)   The cure for baldness has been found in McDonald's french fries   ( msn.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Androgenic alopecia, hair follicle germs, Alopecia, Yokohama National University, Baldness, Skin, Professor Junji Fukuda, hair loss  
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6216 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2018 at 5:35 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-02-05 04:19:46 PM  
Baldness is like cancer. People make a shiatload off of treating it but if an actual cure is found, the money train stops.

/yes, starting to go bald
//but in good shape and hung like a horse
///but no girl will ever find out because I'm going bald
 
2018-02-05 05:22:43 PM  
Also the cure for thinness.
 
2018-02-05 05:31:25 PM  
Untrue. If McDonald's fries grew hair, the President of the United States wouldn't have to wear a red panda on his head.
 
2018-02-05 05:31:26 PM  
Now we know why he was wearing a hat...he's bald:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 05:37:19 PM  
Do I have to eat them or rub them on my head? Because truth be told, I'd rather rub them on my head.
 
2018-02-05 05:38:32 PM  

Bimmer Jones: Untrue. If McDonald's fries grew hair, the President of the United States wouldn't have to wear a red panda on his head.


Maybe it's not a red panda, but a structure made from pureed fries. It certainly has the right coloration.
 
2018-02-05 05:38:55 PM  
Stem cell research at McDonalds? It's more likely than you think
 
2018-02-05 05:40:43 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 05:41:46 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 05:43:24 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Seems to have worked for this guy.
 
2018-02-05 05:44:12 PM  
So finding hairy french fries is now a GOOD thing? Marketing...is there anything it can't do?
 
2018-02-05 05:44:16 PM  

Keeve: Do I have to eat them or rub them on my head? Because truth be told, I'd rather rub them on my head.


I was thinking the exact same thing. I'm willing to rub those on my head, but I am not eating those goddamn things.
 
2018-02-05 05:45:53 PM  
obviously not
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 05:46:55 PM  
"...shaft generation upon injection into the backs of nude..."

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 05:48:49 PM  

Mugato: Baldness is like cancer. People make a shiatload off of treating it but if an actual cure is found, the money train stops.

/yes, starting to go bald
//but in good shape and hung like a horse
///but no girl will ever find out because I'm going bald


Weird.  I'm bald and haven't known it to be a problem.  I don't think I'd ever spend money to fix it.
 
2018-02-05 05:51:12 PM  
So, by this I can safely assume 5 Guys French Fries will lengthen my dick 4" and add 50 years to my life.

/I'm ok with this
 
2018-02-05 05:55:36 PM  
You know. . . 

I don't think we use separate oil for the fries versus anything else. It's not like there's special fry oil, versus nugget oil, versus fish oil. Yeah, separate vats, but the oil? 

No, that chemical is probably present in any fried thing I sell. And those tenders are really good too. . .
 
2018-02-05 05:57:03 PM  
the silicone added to McDonald's fries

THE SILICONE ADDED TO MCDONALD'S FRIES

THE SILICONE ADDED TO MCDONALD'S FRIES
 
2018-02-05 05:57:49 PM  
She was eating FRIES, Jerry.  FRIES!
 
2018-02-05 06:01:44 PM  

Keeve: Do I have to eat them or rub them on my head? Because truth be told, I'd rather rub them on my head.


you wind up looking like you are wearing french fries on your head.
http://dipper-the-destructor.tumblr.c​o​m/post/117729697601/gwess-okay-this-is​-the-last-french-fry-post-i

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 06:03:03 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

The GIS is fertile ground, too.
 
2018-02-05 06:05:06 PM  

Peki: You know. . . 

I don't think we use separate oil for the fries versus anything else. It's not like there's special fry oil, versus nugget oil, versus fish oil. Yeah, separate vats, but the oil? 

No, that chemical is probably present in any fried thing I sell. And those tenders are really good too. . .


The original McDonald's franchises were founded when Ray Kroc found some young boys to exploit.

He found those boys not because they had a good name (McDonald) or because their hot dogs and burgers were special.  He chose them because they had great French Fries.

They used to cook the fries in beef tallow. And they had a rule: Fry oil is ONLY for the fries. You heat that tallow up and then you put fries and only fries into it. And those fries were the golden spears that lead Ronald McDonald to franchise empireship.

But then they changed the recipe and use veggie oil with addatives. Now they prolly have to cook meat in the oil first just to get some flavor.
 
2018-02-05 06:06:23 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 06:09:03 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 06:14:20 PM  
Chemically, dimethylpolysiloxane is a silicone.
 
2018-02-05 06:17:17 PM  
Oh it works. It's just that your hair will end up looking like this:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 06:18:07 PM  
All hail Ronald the First, Savior of Mankind.
 
2018-02-05 06:25:21 PM  
Is this why I look like the ape-man?
 
2018-02-05 06:26:01 PM  

Mugato: Baldness is like cancer. People make a shiatload off of treating it but if an actual cure is found, the money train stops.

/yes, starting to go bald
//but in good shape and hung like a horse
///but no girl will ever find out because I'm going bald


Strangely balding can be attractive. Personally, I find it hot when the hairline is just starting to recede, think young Jude Law. And I remember overhearing a conversation at work where a bunch of lady coworkers were chatting about how attractive a smooth shaved head was.

Men get insecure about it, but it's a masculine feature. As long as you own it and don't grow your hair long and start combing it over (ie wearing your insecurity) it shouldn't be a hindrance.
 
2018-02-05 06:28:21 PM  
Saw this on The Daily Mail earlier today, so I wasn't sure McDonald's had fries.
 
2018-02-05 06:32:06 PM  
Members of a certain generation can thank Patrick Stewart for making naturally bald sexy.  Of course, it helps that he's brilliant and has a wonderful personality.

/Made that statement at Baycon when a panel of SiFi writers said that Sifi never impacted society directly, about 90% of the women under 50 agreed with me.
 
2018-02-05 06:34:32 PM  
Fukuda and his colleagues reported black hairs on the areas of the mouse where the chip was transplanted

Suck it bald blondes!
 
2018-02-05 06:43:46 PM  

rzrwiresunrise: the silicone added to McDonald's fries

THE SILICONE ADDED TO MCDONALD'S FRIES

THE SILICONE ADDED TO MCDONALD'S FRIES


Settle down. People feed silicone anti foaming agents to babies

i5.walmartimages.comView Full Size


/maybe it cures baldness too
 
2018-02-05 06:53:19 PM  

doglover: But then they changed the recipe and use veggie oil with addatives. Now they prolly have to cook meat in the oil first just to get some flavor.


Nope. "Natural beef flavoring" in the fries includes casein (milk protein). Fries come pre-flavored. Same with the hashbrowns. 

/my kid can have almost ANY other fast-food joint's fries, but not mine
 
2018-02-05 07:01:35 PM  
Baldness is not an illness. I am bald and mentally ill, the two do not feel similar in anyway.
 
2018-02-05 07:18:28 PM  
Naturally. When you eat enough of them, you'll become so fat, people will be staring at your ponderous belly and not your bald head.
 
2018-02-05 07:38:52 PM  
If this just grows back hair, I won't really need any.
 
2018-02-05 07:46:03 PM  
OK, I've smashed them on my head. What's step 2?
 
2018-02-05 07:48:05 PM  
Angle of the article is farking stupid.  It has nothing to do with McDonald's.  PDMS along with PEG has been one of the most widely used polymeric bio matrices for cellular growth studies for a long time in tissue engineering.  It's used everywhere, from personal care products to coatings, and a ton of other places.
 
2018-02-05 07:50:18 PM  

Peki: You know. . . 

I don't think we use separate oil for the fries versus anything else. It's not like there's special fry oil, versus nugget oil, versus fish oil. Yeah, separate vats, but the oil? 

No, that chemical is probably present in any fried thing I sell. And those tenders are really good too. . .


Long John Silver's must use one fryer for everything. All the food has the same oily flavor, including ice cream.
Am I eating fish or chicken? Corn or broccoli?
Yuck.
 
2018-02-05 07:51:41 PM  

rzrwiresunrise: the silicone added to McDonald's fries

THE SILICONE ADDED TO MCDONALD'S FRIES

THE SILICONE ADDED TO MCDONALD'S FRIES


Cheap boob implants. Stuff McD's fries in there.
 
2018-02-05 08:39:38 PM  
When I lived in San Diego, I marveled at the street people, the REAL homeless. They refused services in shelter, ate from garbage cans and dumpsters, and this sub-group of the homeless were always very fit, dangerously strong. The other feature they shard was incredibly thick, matted hair. They were usually quite insane, and I'd watch them in fascination from my windows in my apartment above the shops as they would just stand there, faces contorted, screaming wildly at a wall or a bush or the sky.

I concluded that living entirely out of doors must have some physical effect on both strength and hair growth. I've since then studied others (Buddha, Earnest Darling and several others) who lived outside and saw the trend continuing. Well, come April, I'm going to do a one-month trial just for fun, living outside day and night. Sleeping in a hammock, using a tarp on rainy nights only, and eating the produce of my organic garden and orchard. There will be pics. All meds will cease for the duration.

/my wife is a saint
 
2018-02-05 08:49:05 PM  
Ingredient used in JET FUEL is in YOUR FOOD!!!!
 
2018-02-05 08:57:51 PM  

JNowe: Mugato: Baldness is like cancer. People make a shiatload off of treating it but if an actual cure is found, the money train stops.

/yes, starting to go bald
//but in good shape and hung like a horse
///but no girl will ever find out because I'm going bald

Weird.  I'm bald and haven't known it to be a problem.  I don't think I'd ever spend money to fix it.


Perhaps he's hung like a miniature horse.
 
2018-02-05 09:19:27 PM  

flucto: OK, I've smashed them on my head. What's step 2?


Getting your dick stuck in the fry basket?

/ don't do that
 
2018-02-05 09:20:11 PM  

Mugato: Baldness is like cancer. People make a shiatload off of treating it but if an actual cure is found, the money train stops.

/yes, starting to go bald
//but in good shape and hung like a horse
///but no girl will ever find out because I'm going bald


The money train stops for everyone else.  But for the person with some cure, the money rocket is blasting off.
 
2018-02-05 09:31:44 PM  

Mugato: Baldness is like cancer. People make a shiatload off of treating it but if an actual cure is found, the money train stops.

/yes, starting to go bald
//but in good shape and hung like a horse
///but no girl will ever find out because I'm going bald


 Don't fret. As soon as I shaved my head I began receiving compliments. It doesn't mean all girls are into bald guys, but many are. How many do you actually need?

 Try throwing some facial scruff in there, too. Keep the whole thing neat.
 
2018-02-05 09:36:52 PM  
...Just because it contains hair doesn't mean it will cure your baldness.
 
2018-02-05 09:42:06 PM  

flucto: OK, I've smashed them on my head. What's step 2?


img.fark.netView Full Size


Step 3: Profit???
 
2018-02-05 09:46:16 PM  

dickfreckle: Don't fret. As soon as I shaved my head I began receiving compliments. It doesn't mean all girls are into bald guys, but many are.


Too skinny. I'd look like a chemo patient.

Might get me a sympathy lay...
 
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