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(Bloomberg)   Say goodbye to office kegs and pingpong tables, say hello to office ferns and palms   ( bloomberg.com) divider line
    More: Sad, limited natural light, View Dynamic Glass, Nature, new Amazon office, Jose office space, sterile office, stale office air, new Seattle headquarters  
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1459 clicks; posted to Business » on 05 Feb 2018 at 9:35 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-05 09:04:37 AM  
My manager has the personality and appearance of a ficus, so.. yeah. We're there.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2018-02-05 09:05:59 AM  
When I see a building full of plants, I think of Silent Running. And now I want to nuke Amazon HQ.
 
2018-02-05 09:09:04 AM  
We've got a ping pong table that gets pretty regular use. What I want are nap pods.
 
2018-02-05 09:15:14 AM  
We have a fern almost 20 years ago.  Sure, I had to bring it in, but we had one!
 
2018-02-05 09:19:58 AM  

naughtyrev: We've got a ping pong table that gets pretty regular use. What I want are nap pods.


I came here to wonder who's caring for all those plants but then you said nap pods.

I want nap pods!
 
2018-02-05 09:39:37 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: naughtyrev: We've got a ping pong table that gets pretty regular use. What I want are nap pods.

I came here to wonder who's caring for all those plants but then you said nap pods.

I want nap pods!


You're both right, they're awesome! On the rare day there's not one open and I don't get my 45 minute snooze I'm completely out of sorts.

We have ping pong tables and video games, too. I prefer just to Fark at my desk if I'm not snoozing. Never worked anywhere that had a keg. Well, not an office, anyway.
 
2018-02-05 09:43:27 AM  
I'm doing some consulting for a startup in NYC and they have fooseball, ping pong and xbox1. There's always beer in the fridge, but no keg. No plants either, but it could use them.
 
2018-02-05 09:49:41 AM  
I want the office from Assassin's Creed 4 minus the evil corporation secretly out to control everyone's life. But enough about Amazon...
 
2018-02-05 09:52:21 AM  
...and this is something new? Well I have read studies a while back that plants make the office more lively and increases morale.
 
2018-02-05 09:53:27 AM  
Currently I sit in a white 3/4 wall cubicle in an interior windowless secure room with white walls and other white 3/4 cubes.

I have an ivy plant that I inherited from the previous soul who occupied this cube. It will be left for the soul who traverses this existence after me.  Life is fleeting... the ivy plant exists eternally.
 
2018-02-05 09:59:53 AM  

kdawg7736: ...and this is something new? Well I have read studies a while back that plants make the office more lively and increases morale.


You want to improve the morale of your employees?

1. Make decisions/promotions based on logic and merit
2. Pay people more money

The end. Everything else is wankery.
 
2018-02-05 10:03:20 AM  
"When you look at a tree, you're smarter,"

Oh yeah? Well I get smarter the longer I stand next to a keg. Suck on that, hippie!!
 
2018-02-05 10:07:48 AM  
I visit a lot of offices with these kinds of "adult playground" settings, and they're invariably sitting there unused: video games, ping pong tables, the obligatory Mies van der Rohe sitting area, 60" televisions, etc.

Even more galling is when I go to make a photocopy at one of these places, and have to walk past their deserted office-playroom only to discover that, because they blew their whole office budget on shiny toys and black leather, they had to settle for running their entire company through a $65 combination printer/copier/fax machine from Costco.

Bottom line is that when I'm at work, I'm busy (he said while Farking). I may have time to read an article and fire off a few posts here and there, but at no point during my workday am I looking to scout out another co-worker and play ping pong in the middle of the office in the middle of the day while my other co-workers are presumably working.

These set-ups are strictly for the benefit of headhunters, who love to imbue potential-hires with the fantasy that 30-40 % of their workday will be spent simply f*cking around. I interviewed at one place where we walked through the "sales floor" and it was 20 or 25 guys in their late 30's in a huge bullpen of a room, all of them in slacks and ties and phone headsets, all of them tapping golf balls into cups with that concerned "golf douche" look on their faces that golfers inevitably affect when they're trying to pretend that they're doing something important.

Bottom line: bring back the ferns. At least they're quiet and don't talk about golf.
 
2018-02-05 10:15:31 AM  
The people getting paid to do work still have their panties in a wad because the ping pong table in the middle of an open space is a horrible idea and was "taken awa". It didn't even work during lunch time because some take an early lunch, others a late lunch.

There was a damn near revolution.
 
2018-02-05 10:30:27 AM  
Ohhhh lord almighty that's ugly.

assets.bwbx.ioView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 10:34:29 AM  

DecemberNitro: Ohhhh lord almighty that's ugly.

[assets.bwbx.io image 800x533]


That's a food court at the mall, not office space.
 
2018-02-05 10:35:41 AM  
'"When you look at a tree, you're smarter," explained Daniel Skiffington, a senior associate at NBBJ.'

Oh Daniel, you poor schmuck.  You can't see the tree for the forest of stupidity in your brain cloud.
 
2018-02-05 10:36:24 AM  

Magnus: That's a food court at the mall, not office space.


They recreated a James Taylor interview location from the early 70's and made it an office.
 
2018-02-05 10:48:20 AM  
I will stick with having my own office with nice thick lockable doors. Of course the other people like that too so they don't have to put up with me getting a little cross at the naughty code not working how I want it too.

I do have a nice comfy couch in the room though so that is a plus.

The idea of an open office is horrendous and luckily I haven't had to deal with that side of the business unless something really bad happened.
 
2018-02-05 10:59:03 AM  
Amazon has the glass balls as a perk for office workers. The ferns and whatnot are a new theme in a sense but in another they are exactly like the ping pong tables. Office workers tend to get perks.

The guys who work in the warehouses and warehouse shops and actually touch products or machines are not getting those perks.
 
2018-02-05 11:03:07 AM  
Why don't they just ask workers what they want?
 
2018-02-05 11:04:17 AM  
A fern curves well when you put spin on it, but you can't get much speed with it.
 
2018-02-05 11:04:43 AM  

adamatari: Amazon has the glass balls as a perk for office workers.


Jesus, suddenly a ping pong table sounds OK.
 
2018-02-05 11:05:43 AM  
Oooh, they're gonna have gnats!

/from overwatering
//everyone overwaters
 
2018-02-05 11:08:10 AM  

DecemberNitro: Ohhhh lord almighty that's ugly.

[assets.bwbx.io image 800x533]


plants aren't going to do shiat unless you have some privacy too
 
2018-02-05 11:09:54 AM  

Barricaded Gunman: adamatari: Amazon has the glass balls as a perk for office workers.

Jesus, suddenly a ping pong table sounds OK.


They're a perfectly acceptable office perk as long as the string doesn't break.
 
2018-02-05 11:19:31 AM  
CSB Time...

Back in the late 90's, I worked for an internet company called Mindspring.  About a week after I started we had a company meeting.  It was held outside by the grill.  We had food, and beer (keg on ice) and a big screen TV so we could teleconference with the Atlanta office, Charles the owner and his three legged dog.

The day the Peter Max RV rolled up was the best office party anywhere.  I think I bought opium from my team leader that day.

Every Wednesday was bagel day.  Hundreds and hundreds of bagels all for the munching.  I loved that company.

End CSB.
 
2018-02-05 11:38:36 AM  
I work for the 13th largest conglomo corporation in the world.  EVERY year they get us a yeti-style drinking cup as a token of appreciation, every year.  While my thirst is quenched, a raise would be nice.
 
2018-02-05 11:55:36 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-05 12:02:14 PM  

stuhayes2010: I work for the 13th largest conglomo corporation in the world.  EVERY year they get us a yeti-style drinking cup as a token of appreciation, every year.  While my thirst is quenched, a raise would be nice.


Found the Oblongs fan!
 
2018-02-05 12:57:11 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: adamatari: Amazon has the glass balls as a perk for office workers.

Jesus, suddenly a ping pong table sounds OK.


They have their own name for it, but as a symbol of how they are farking Seattle, I think mine fits better.

They did bring in lots of high paying jobs, unfortunately the side effect is that people who work less high paying jobs can't afford rent and moved out - and now commute in. The area is a boom town, but a boom town has two sides. Amazon is not good or evil in this equation but they are the largest factor.

In any case, income inequality begins at home (well, work), and while I've heard all Amazon employees are free to use the glass balls, that doesn't mean much for ones working in warehouses far from the balls. It's a perk for the employees working on the campus, primarily highly paid office workers.
 
2018-02-05 01:09:21 PM  
Oddly, Amazon has both - it's not an "either/or" scenario.
 
2018-02-05 01:10:43 PM  
I work in a medical setting and we have white noise machines in the ceilings to help obscure conversations.  I love it.
Plants would be nice, though. I'm thinking of getting one for my tiny, windowless office.
 
2018-02-05 01:23:00 PM  

ThrillaManilla: I work in a medical setting and we have white noise machines in the ceilings to help obscure conversations.  I love it.
Plants would be nice, though. I'm thinking of getting one for my tiny, windowless office.


I went to a doctors office and they had these machines all over the place.  It may calm some, but it drives me up a farking wall.  Hate those farkers.  Sounds like a turbofan engine in the room.
 
2018-02-05 01:26:15 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: Bottom line is that when I'm at work, I'm busy (he said while Farking). I may have time to read an article and fire off a few posts here and there, but at no point during my workday am I looking to scout out another co-worker and play ping pong in the middle of the office in the middle of the day while my other co-workers are presumably working.


Yeah, I had a job during the dotcom days like that. You know what I like now even more than the dotcom company's dart board, massage chair, multiple foozeball tables, beanbag chairs, pool tables, and free snacks?

Only having to work 35 hours/week and knowing that my job is still gonna be here next year.
 
2018-02-05 01:44:38 PM  

Fear the Clam: Barricaded Gunman: Bottom line is that when I'm at work, I'm busy (he said while Farking). I may have time to read an article and fire off a few posts here and there, but at no point during my workday am I looking to scout out another co-worker and play ping pong in the middle of the office in the middle of the day while my other co-workers are presumably working.

Yeah, I had a job during the dotcom days like that. You know what I like now even more than the dotcom company's dart board, massage chair, multiple foozeball tables, beanbag chairs, pool tables, and free snacks?

Only having to work 35 hours/week and knowing that my job is still gonna be here next year.


Yeah, by and large these kind of perks have one of two functions, sometimes both:

1) Keep you in the office, so you are more likely to put in work beyond 40/week (which is essentially free); and

2) Distract you and keepkyou from realizing just how underpaid you are relative to how much revenue your work generates for your employer.
 
2018-02-05 02:35:30 PM  
Working from home gets better every day
 
2018-02-05 06:05:13 PM  

AltheaToldMe: ThrillaManilla: I work in a medical setting and we have white noise machines in the ceilings to help obscure conversations.  I love it.
Plants would be nice, though. I'm thinking of getting one for my tiny, windowless office.

I went to a doctors office and they had these machines all over the place.  It may calm some, but it drives me up a farking wall.  Hate those farkers.  Sounds like a turbofan engine in the room.


Then they have it up too loud.

Still better than some places I have worked, where there is always some wannabe tough guy that insists on playing club music.

No, assholes.  Busta Rhymes does NOT help you work, and your shiatty job performance proves it...
 
2018-02-05 06:22:01 PM  

Ishidan: Then they have it up too loud.


I never knew there were different settings.  Hmm.

I'm one of those people with that mental defect of not being able to 'shut off' a noise.  Like a kid across a restaurant tapping a spoon, or a distant dog barking.  Once I get that sound on my radar, it usually irritates me to no end.  I know, I know....there is probably a shrink for that.

We had a contractor doing work in the neighborhood and they were using their truck for music on the job site.  Unfortunately, the subwoofer thumped through my house for 10 hours a day for half a week.  Nearly drove me to murder.  I asked them to turn JUST the sub down, and No Habla...except the English I heard when they called out measurements.
 
2018-02-05 07:59:06 PM  

ThrillaManilla: I work in a medical setting and we have white noise machines in the ceilings to help obscure conversations.  I love it.
Plants would be nice, though. I'm thinking of getting one for my tiny, windowless office.


I think a small waterfall and coy pond would be both soothing/enjoyable AND provide white noise for said purpose.
 
2018-02-05 08:45:23 PM  

DecemberNitro: Ohhhh lord almighty that's ugly.

[assets.bwbx.io image 800x533]


On the upside you'll find that if you wear a green and white stripped suit you can safely hide in plain sight and not get dragged into pointless meetings or riddled with inane questions by co-workers
 
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