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(Daily Mail)   What's the most uncomfortable thing that's happened to you during sex?   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
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615 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 04 Feb 2018 at 9:26 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-02-04 06:19:46 PM  
Waking up?
 
2018-02-04 06:37:48 PM  
My girlfriend walked in?
 
2018-02-04 06:56:25 PM  
sex

Disgusting.
 
2018-02-04 07:32:48 PM  

Mike_LowELL: sex

Disgusting.


Only if you're doing it right. That's the Inverse Rule of Sexual Pleasure - the worse it looks to spectators, the better it is for participants.
 
2018-02-04 07:47:45 PM  
I was going down on some guy. About 45 minutes prior, I had some cheesecake. ... The spew that came out of my mouth while he was coming was disgusting. LOL. I told all my friends. It was so funny and disgusting.
 
2018-02-04 07:55:30 PM  

FormlessOne: Only if you're doing it right. That's the Inverse Rule of Sexual Pleasure - the worse it looks to spectators, the better it is for participants.


I don't know if you're aware, but it's a scientific fact that 2D women are superior to 3D women, I haven't talked to a 3D woman in years, and I'm not wasting a 2D woman on sex.

Sayaka just wants to rub my shoulders and cuddle with me.  That's all she wants, which means that's all I want.
 
2018-02-04 07:59:58 PM  
my hand slip off
 
2018-02-04 08:04:13 PM  
Not during, but once I was offered the chance to shoot up heroin before sex.

That was a nice piece of information that ruined the moment.
 
2018-02-04 08:05:43 PM  
A FWB asked me to cut her once. She liked pain.

I declined.
 
2018-02-04 08:17:28 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-04 08:17:40 PM  
I realized she was still alive.
 
2018-02-04 08:26:19 PM  
I burst a blood vessel.
 
2018-02-04 08:29:58 PM  
Broke the bed before, and while normally a "high-five" moment, the noise was enough to wake up the kids and have them come in to check on us.
 
2018-02-04 08:34:10 PM  
Sex
 
2018-02-04 08:34:55 PM  

dennysgod: Broke the bed before, and while normally a "high-five" moment, the noise was enough to wake up the kids and have them come in to check on us.


When I was a teenager many many many years ago, me and my then girlfriend broke my brother's bed. I propped it back in place so it looked normal and then later that night  my brother returned with his girlfriend. Shortly after I hear a crash and a cry of "Oh god I'm so fat!" from her.  Took me years to fess to that one to my brother.
 
2018-02-04 08:47:07 PM  
The mortician walking in.
 
2018-02-04 08:52:33 PM  
Don't care, had sex.
 
2018-02-04 09:05:18 PM  
Let's just say that there was missed stroke that resulted in folding the erect peen, and me curled up in a ball for about 20 minutes making a lot of sort of quiet noises because I couldn't breathe so well.

We had been looking at going for a record that night, and I think that unlucky 13 cursed us from the get go...
 
2018-02-04 09:24:26 PM  
When you can't get the pipe cleaner back out.
 
2018-02-04 09:35:12 PM  
Murdered in bed.
 
2018-02-04 09:36:11 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: When you can't get the pipe cleaner back out.


arrrrguuuuhhh
 
2018-02-04 09:36:58 PM  

hubiestubert: Let's just say that there was missed stroke that resulted in folding the erect peen, and me curled up in a ball for about 20 minutes making a lot of sort of quiet noises because I couldn't breathe so well.

We had been looking at going for a record that night, and I think that unlucky 13 cursed us from the get go...


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-04 09:40:32 PM  

Grumpy Cat: I was going down on some guy. About 45 minutes prior, I had some cheesecake. ... The spew that came out of my mouth while he was coming was disgusting. LOL. I told all my friends. It was so funny and disgusting.


Fark needs a KIWF button...
 
2018-02-04 09:46:16 PM  
1982. Hixon, Tn.  Mid to late teens. Getting busy with a HS girlfriend. We were at that the scratchy bitey point in the festivities when In walks her mom who was less than thrilled with the scene.

And that's all I have to say about that.
 
2018-02-04 09:48:38 PM  
She insisted on doing it while we watched the Donna Reed show on TV.
 
2018-02-04 09:50:04 PM  
Shart.
 
2018-02-04 09:51:01 PM  

LarrySouth: Grumpy Cat: I was going down on some guy. About 45 minutes prior, I had some cheesecake. ... The spew that came out of my mouth while he was coming was disgusting. LOL. I told all my friends. It was so funny and disgusting.

Fark needs a KIWF button...


Awww. I've hurt your fragile feelings :)
 
2018-02-04 09:55:34 PM  
Girlfriend was on top. She sneezed really hard and shiat on us.
 
2018-02-04 09:56:11 PM  
"Up the butt, Bob"

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-04 10:11:59 PM  

668NeighborOfTheBeast: Girlfriend was on top. She sneezed really hard and shiat on us.


At first glance I thought that said "Garfield was on top"
 
2018-02-04 10:24:51 PM  

RJReves: 668NeighborOfTheBeast: Girlfriend was on top. She sneezed really hard and shiat on us.

At first glance I thought that said "Garfield was on top"


So, did you picture me banging a president or a cartoon cat?
 
2018-02-04 10:26:24 PM  

668NeighborOfTheBeast: RJReves: 668NeighborOfTheBeast: Girlfriend was on top. She sneezed really hard and shiat on us.

At first glance I thought that said "Garfield was on top"

So, did you picture me banging a president or a cartoon cat?


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-04 10:31:25 PM  

668NeighborOfTheBeast: RJReves: 668NeighborOfTheBeast: Girlfriend was on top. She sneezed really hard and shiat on us.

At first glance I thought that said "Garfield was on top"

So, did you picture me banging a president or a cartoon cat?


Cat.
 
2018-02-04 10:33:41 PM  
Worst so far is leg cramps. I consider myself lucky.
 
2018-02-04 10:40:46 PM  
My girlfriend's mother walked in and gave us a thumbs up?
 
2018-02-04 10:43:52 PM  

Grumpy Cat: LarrySouth: Grumpy Cat: I was going down on some guy. About 45 minutes prior, I had some cheesecake. ... The spew that came out of my mouth while he was coming was disgusting. LOL. I told all my friends. It was so funny and disgusting.

Fark needs a KIWF button...

Awww. I've hurt your fragile feelings :)


Hell no. It's just the spew bit.

I have fond memories of a random, very long public hair tickling my nose as GF was coming.

The subsequent sneeze was awesome for her, ultra messy for me, and highly entertaining for the neighbours.

/ so I gathered by war-whoops, yells of "Encore!", pounding on the apartment walls, and complaints from her cat.
 
2018-02-04 10:49:41 PM  

LarrySouth: Grumpy Cat: LarrySouth: Grumpy Cat: I was going down on some guy. About 45 minutes prior, I had some cheesecake. ... The spew that came out of my mouth while he was coming was disgusting. LOL. I told all my friends. It was so funny and disgusting.

Fark needs a KIWF button...

Awww. I've hurt your fragile feelings :)

Hell no. It's just the spew bit.

I have fond memories of a random, very long public hair tickling my nose as GF was coming.

The subsequent sneeze was awesome for her, ultra messy for me, and highly entertaining for the neighbours.

/ so I gathered by war-whoops, yells of "Encore!", pounding on the apartment walls, and complaints from her cat.


Hah. Sex is funny and gross sometimes. Gotta love it.
 
2018-02-04 10:50:39 PM  

Lord Head: My girlfriend's mother walked in and gave us a thumbs up?


Thumbs up where?
 
2018-02-04 10:58:02 PM  
My wife and I were banging at a campsite on vacation, midday on a blanket overlooking the valley. It should be noted said site was about a quarter mile from any major trail or road. Some guy gets lost and wanders in right as we get to the moans and sighs.

I had just finished when he walked up.
 
2018-02-04 10:59:04 PM  
I used to go target shooting in a deserted part of Pine Valley.  I don't think I ever saw anyone else there, there there was evidence other shooters used that spot.

One day I took a female friend to teach her how to shoot.  Things worked out well, we were in flagrante delicto on a blanket I'd brought when I heard a motorcycle.  About the same time some guy (or gal, couldn't tell) on a motorcycle came around the hill, saw us and stopped.  God knew what he thought, 2 naked people, 7-8 guns of various types and sizes, ammo everywhere, and did I mention 2 naked people.

Whatever, they turned around and went back the way they came.  Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to carry on, we ended up cleaning up and driving home.  sigh.
 
2018-02-04 11:00:27 PM  

Thosw: Worst so far is leg cramps.


Same here. Worst was one time in the shower banging away when both butt cheeks pulled simultaneouly, and the pull quickly went down the back of each thigh and partway down both calves. I fell down screaming, looking at both my legs shaking while in awful pain. I was not heroic at that moment; I looked like a gaffed gar on the shower floor.

We waited a couple hours and tried again. And now I know about potassium.
 
2018-02-04 11:04:52 PM  

BalugaJoe: Murdered in bed.


Mind blowing, huh?
 
2018-02-04 11:05:13 PM  
much like my spirit animal hubiestubert up there, a fwb and i rolled a critical fail on a rather vigorous downstroke.

trip to the hospital and the diagnosis was...

penile.

fracture.

imagine getting kicked in the jubblies... constantly... for a couple of weeks.

the only other time i was in that kind of pain in my life was when my gallbladder finished its crystal collection and perforated itself.
 
2018-02-04 11:09:09 PM  
The guy I was with went into insulin shock while in progress, and passed out. I didn't know he was diabetic. Luckily I figured it out and shoved a frozen fruit bar in his mouth. He wanted to continue after being revived but I declined.
 
2018-02-04 11:13:22 PM  
Ex wife sneezed and damned near kegled my dick in half.
 
2018-02-04 11:22:15 PM  

techrat: much like my spirit animal hubiestubert up there, a fwb and i rolled a critical fail on a rather vigorous downstroke.

trip to the hospital and the diagnosis was...

penile.

fracture.

imagine getting kicked in the jubblies... constantly... for a couple of weeks.

the only other time i was in that kind of pain in my life was when my gallbladder finished its crystal collection and perforated itself.


In fairness, I didn't break anything in the unit, but for me the worst was passing a kidney stone. And I used to bounce, I got stabbed on the job, and I've had three open heart surgeries, and had drainage tubes removed without any sort of anesthesia.

But that doesn't mean I want to try any of those things again, just because the kidney stone was the worst.

Ghastly: Ex wife sneezed and damned near kegled my dick in half.


OK, I larfed...
 
2018-02-04 11:22:35 PM  
Going down on girlfriend I got a really bad nose bleed.  She thought she got her period. Took us a while to figure that one out and get back to it!
 
2018-02-04 11:41:24 PM  
First time in bed with a new gal at her place.

We were working out on top of the bed when I felt, along with the normal warm and wet feelings that go along with that activity, a long, liquid *slurp* on my dangly bits.

I jumped up to somewhere near the ceiling fan in surprise.

She didn't mention she had a very friendly dog.
 
2018-02-04 11:48:04 PM  

hubiestubert: In fairness, I didn't break anything in the unit, but for me the worst was passing a kidney stone. And I used to bounce, I got stabbed on the job, and I've had three open heart surgeries, and had drainage tubes removed without any sort of anesthesia.

But that doesn't mean I want to try any of those things again, just because the kidney stone was the worst.


yeah, ditto on the "i've put a lot of miles on this meat suit", though i gladly (and gratefully) admit i have had fewer holes poked in me than you have. i've passed a kidney stone, too... that wasn't quite as debilitating as my gallbladder upgrading to attempted peritonitis. or the aforementioned crank-bending.

though for overall misery, not just pain, i would say the bout of ergotism i had as a kid edges out everything else so far. all the fun of the worst of the flu, plus hallucinations and grand mal seizures were the runny poop icing on the shiat cake of that particular experience. (and put me off rye bread permanently...)

i have enough scars to tick off the "chicks do, in fact, dig scars" checkbox. i'm ok with keeping the score static until check-out time. i've amply demonstrated in this life that i have a high pain threshold and tolerance. i don't much care to spend any more time proving it.

...he says, going into day 3 of his latest migraine.
 
2018-02-05 12:34:06 AM  
While doing it outside, on top of a car, a few mosquitos, no problem, bee sting to the ballsack- BIG problem, never did it outside again-except in the winter...
 
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