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(Some Guy)   Best bet to slow global warming is for a massive volcano to spew millions of tons of crap into the atmosphere, blocking out the sun and plunging us into dark, cold despair. So basically Wisconsin   ( tecake.in) divider line
    More: Interesting, Volcano, largest volcanic eruption, average worldwide temperature, radiation management, pretty simple method, sulfur dioxide gas, newly active volcano, Global warming  
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765 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Feb 2018 at 8:53 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-03 11:53:14 PM  
Yellowstone!!!
 
2018-02-04 12:30:13 AM  
actually, the most likely scenario.  A couple extra valcano eruptions in one year will throw off all those global warming / climate change models.
 
2018-02-04 04:43:10 AM  
The earth changes rotational speed every so often more than usual, and someone did research and found a correlation to more major earthquakes a few years after it happens. So this is predicted for 2018. Buckle up.
 
2018-02-04 09:00:05 AM  
I'll survive a VEI 7 and most of you will as well. It'll be a different world, but most of us will live.

VEI 8 leaves me trembling. That is when this Earth lets you know you should have mastered space travel and she's done with vermin squirming upon her flesh.
 
2018-02-04 09:03:37 AM  
Another Tambora would certainly help with global warming for a few years.

It would probably also "help" with overpopulation, so maybe we shouldn't really want that to happen.
 
2018-02-04 09:29:40 AM  
So, faster global warming then. Because y'all won't start taking the bus or shop less, and the boring company can't get that nuke deep enough on time.
 
2018-02-04 09:53:06 AM  
Or Rotterdam.
 
2018-02-04 10:14:09 AM  
So, the series finale of "Dinosaurs", then?
 
2018-02-04 10:33:38 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-04 10:37:13 AM  
The Wisconsinian glaciation was an actual thing and it will be again.
 
2018-02-04 10:44:07 AM  
Worked in The Matrix.
 
2018-02-04 11:02:09 AM  
See, the problem with volcanic eruptions is that we don't yet know how to make them go off on a regular schedule, nor can we control how many cubic kilometers of ash is expelled, nor to what altitude the plume goes.

i.imgur.comView Full Size


If only there were some way of putting a precisely-calibrated amount of particulate matter into the atmosphere at regular intervals.
/It worked in Terminator 3, too.
 
2018-02-04 11:11:59 AM  
So basically Wisconsin Cleveland

fixed that for you, subby
 
2018-02-04 11:21:25 AM  

Twilight Farkle: See, the problem with volcanic eruptions is that we don't yet know how to make them go off on a regular schedule, nor can we control how many cubic kilometers of ash is expelled, nor to what altitude the plume goes.

[i.imgur.com image 600x250]

If only there were some way of putting a precisely-calibrated amount of particulate matter into the atmosphere at regular intervals.
/It worked in Terminator 3, too.


A Terminator 3 reference that doesn't discuss the suckiness of said movie?  Truly the darkest timeline.
 
2018-02-04 11:37:53 AM  
Sounds good on paper, until you realize that the same particulates that lower global temperatures also inhibit the effectiveness of photosynthesis. Considering how much our society relies on agriculture for sustenance, not sure how great of a tradeoff it would be.
 
2018-02-04 11:51:49 AM  
cdn1.lockerdomecdn.comView Full Size


Before we go around changing stuff in our planet to slow down global warming, we need to adress these guys. If we stop global warming, or even just slow it down, these guys will show up and waste everything. Same would be said of dirty industries, like coal.

So we need a generation or two before this is possible. Once there is no more of these assholes around, then, maybe, we can turn it around.
 
2018-02-04 12:08:08 PM  
"It happens naturally as one of the Earth's natural mechanisms to control surface heat."

Bullshiat.  It happens naturally, but it's not a "natural mechanism to control surface heat."  Who writes this stuff?
 
2018-02-04 12:36:34 PM  

PerpetualPeristalsis: "It happens naturally as one of the Earth's natural mechanisms to control surface heat."

Bullshiat.  It happens naturally, but it's not a "natural mechanism to control surface heat."  Who writes this stuff?


More like Earthshiat. This pretty Earth does fart and shiat and sometimes has diarrhea. Such a dainty damsel.
 
2018-02-04 12:39:58 PM  

PerpetualPeristalsis: "It happens naturally as one of the Earth's natural mechanisms to control surface heat."

Bullshiat.  It happens naturally, but it's not a "natural mechanism to control surface heat."  Who writes this stuff?


Sometimes a sentence just reads better if you anthropomorphize nature.  Deal with it.
 
2018-02-04 12:47:45 PM  
BMFPitt:

Sometimes a sentence just reads better if you anthropomorphize nature.  Deal with it.

I don't think that's the trade-off here.  I think what was at work was either sloppiness or ignorance.  Whether you're right or I am, it's still a problem where the ostensible purpose of the article is to educate.
 
2018-02-04 01:43:13 PM  
In other news, evidently Wisconsin has volcanos.

itcamefromschenectady: The earth changes rotational speed every so often more than usual, and someone did research and found a correlation to more major earthquakes a few years after it happens. So this is predicted for 2018. Buckle up.


lol, so every now and then, for no particular reason the conservation of angular momentum takes a vacation? I hope you're joking and I just didn't get it.
 
2018-02-04 02:08:22 PM  

BMFPitt: PerpetualPeristalsis: "It happens naturally as one of the Earth's natural mechanisms to control surface heat."

Bullshiat.  It happens naturally, but it's not a "natural mechanism to control surface heat."  Who writes this stuff?

Sometimes a sentence just reads better if you anthropomorphize nature.  Deal with it.


Don't anthropomorphize Nature.  She hates that.
 
2018-02-04 02:11:59 PM  

NotARocketScientist: In other news, evidently Wisconsin has volcanos.

itcamefromschenectady: The earth changes rotational speed every so often more than usual, and someone did research and found a correlation to more major earthquakes a few years after it happens. So this is predicted for 2018. Buckle up.

lol, so every now and then, for no particular reason the conservation of angular momentum takes a vacation? I hope you're joking and I just didn't get it.


Who's is NASA to argue with *you*, after all?
https://www.nasa.gov/centers/goddard/​n​ews/topstory/2003/0210rotation.html
 
2018-02-04 02:13:15 PM  
Yes, I see that I wrote "who's is" instead of "who is." Typo; sorry.
 
2018-02-04 02:59:34 PM  

munko: actually, the most likely scenario.  A couple extra valcano eruptions in one year will throw off all those global warming / climate change models.


Yup. 

Isn't that what happened with Eyefullofajoker? GW paused for a year or two and everyone went "NO GLOBAL WARMING SEE NYUH-HUH!!!!" 

Short of that, though, maybe a full planetwide tree planting campaign? Gotta sink that carbon back down somehow,

/cold plus tired hands = typos ervrywuhr
//that first one was not a typo though; that's just how I pronounce it in my head since I can't spell it
 
2018-02-04 03:26:03 PM  

Butternut Squanch: BMFPitt: PerpetualPeristalsis: "It happens naturally as one of the Earth's natural mechanisms to control surface heat."

Bullshiat.  It happens naturally, but it's not a "natural mechanism to control surface heat."  Who writes this stuff?

Sometimes a sentence just reads better if you anthropomorphize nature.  Deal with it.

Don't anthropomorphize Nature.  She hates that.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-04 03:51:24 PM  
newsinfo.inquirer.netView Full Size

Workin on it
 
2018-02-04 05:06:39 PM  
Put the sulphur back in jet fuel.. same effect
 
2018-02-04 05:46:10 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: The Wisconsinian glaciation was an actual thing and it will be again.


We've likely already skipped the next glacial inception and delayed the one after that to 50,000 years from now. From Ganopolski et al. 2016:

img.fark.netView Full Size

The top panel shows the temporal evolution of the maximum summer insolation at 65° N. The middle panel shows the simulated CO2 concentration during the next 100,000 years for different cumulative CO2 emission scenarios: 0Gt C anthropogenic emissions (blue), 500Gt C (orange), 1,000Gt C (red) and 1,500Gt C (dark red line). The bottom panel shows simulated ice volume corresponding to the different CO2 emission scenarios. Individual simulations are shown for the 1,500Gt C scenario; for the other scenarios, the range is given as shading.

Of note is that we passed 500Gt C a while back, and probably could have triggered such a delay with land use changes alone.

So sure, it will be a thing again, if we somehow manage to completely eliminate greenhouse gas emissions and keep them down for the next 50,000 years. So don't hold your breath (bad dum tss).
 
2018-02-04 05:56:21 PM  

NotARocketScientist: In other news, evidently Wisconsin has volcanos.

itcamefromschenectady: The earth changes rotational speed every so often more than usual, and someone did research and found a correlation to more major earthquakes a few years after it happens. So this is predicted for 2018. Buckle up.

lol, so every now and then, for no particular reason the conservation of angular momentum takes a vacation? I hope you're joking and I just didn't get it.


No, I wasn't joking and conservation of angular momentum does not take a vacation. It's just that the earth is not perfectly rigid on a large scale.

I'm not an expert, but my guess as to the mechanism is that since the inner part of the earth is kind of squishy, it shifts around unpredictably and this affects the earth's rotation relatively quickly, and the stress affects the crustal plates a few years later.

We know about the correlation because people measure the length of a year very accurately and can tell if it changes by a few milliseconds.

Regarding the subject of this thread, I would speculate there could be a connection between earthquakes and volcanoes too...
 
2018-02-04 07:26:09 PM  

Twilight Farkle: See, the problem with volcanic eruptions is that we don't yet know how to make them go off on a regular schedule, nor can we control how many cubic kilometers of ash is expelled, nor to what altitude the plume goes.

[i.imgur.com image 600x250]

If only there were some way of putting a precisely-calibrated amount of particulate matter into the atmosphere at regular intervals.
/It worked in Terminator 3, too.


The missile trajectories in that GIF are all kinds of stupid. There are at least four things wrong with them.
 
2018-02-05 09:21:17 AM  

munko: actually, the most likely scenario.  A couple extra valcano eruptions in one year will throw off all those global warming / climate change models.


... for a year or two.
 
2018-02-05 10:47:10 AM  

casual disregard: I'll survive a VEI 7 and most of you will as well. It'll be a different world, but most of us will live.

VEI 8 leaves me trembling. That is when this Earth lets you know you should have mastered space travel and she's done with vermin squirming upon her flesh.


I love the descriptions of the different levels they have here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V​olcanic​_Explosivity_Index

VEI 0 - Effusive
VEI 1 - Gentle
VEI 2 - Explosive
VEI 3 - Catastrophic
VEI 4 - Cataclysmic
VEI 5 - Paroxysmic
VEI 6 - Colossal
VEI 7 - Super-colossal
VEI 8 - Mega-colossal
 
2018-02-05 03:29:06 PM  
Love, Actually taught me that Wisconsin is a haven of beautiful nymphets!
 
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