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(Deslidefied)   Want to fend your house from burglars? Here are 21 things that burglars will never tell you   ( deslide.clusterfake.net) divider line
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1287 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Feb 2018 at 8:51 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-02-03 01:25:15 AM  
A couple of my buddies were burgers, I'll tell you that they regret it. And that the majority of them got farked over pretty bad.
 
2018-02-03 07:39:40 AM  
Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

Newspapers, what are those?  You mean those weekly bundles of flyers that get tossed at the bottom of the driveway (100 yards from the house), I may pick them up once a month or so when taking the trash down.  As to the front door, it probably hasn't been opened in a year or more.  Everyone uses the garage/side door (including UPS/FedEx who just put the packages inside there).  Same with most of my neighbors as far as I can tell (well, except the one guy who mows his lawn every three days in the summer & walks along the street twice a day looking for gum wrappers/other trash that blew into his yard - he doesn't like the rest of us heathens who only mow every couple of weeks....sigh)

Using those as your visual clues won't get you very far around here

/the 'have neighbors make tracks in the snow if you're gone' was good advice though, I will give them that.
 
2018-02-03 07:40:43 AM  
Don't have shiat that's worth stealing.

That's my strategy.
 
2018-02-03 08:06:34 AM  
AirBnb.
 
2018-02-03 08:51:38 AM  
my neighbors' houses look much nicer, go rob them
 
2018-02-03 08:57:30 AM  
#19 is a great one. Post your pics and updates after you get home from your trip. Definitely don't advertise that the home is empty.
 
2018-02-03 09:13:13 AM  

STDMan69: A couple of my buddies were burgers, I'll tell you that they regret it. And that the majority of them got farked over pretty bad.


Well yeah, I'd imagine. Being ground up into a delicious grilled meat patty would ruin most folks' day.
 
OOF
2018-02-03 09:18:27 AM  

STDMan69: A couple of my buddies were burgers, I'll tell you that they regret it. And that the majority of them got farked over pretty bad.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-03 09:19:03 AM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: STDMan69: A couple of my buddies were burgers, I'll tell you that they regret it. And that the majority of them got farked over pretty bad.

Well yeah, I'd imagine. Being ground up into a delicious grilled meat patty would ruin most folks' day.


Name checks out.
 
2018-02-03 09:19:25 AM  
Ok couple of things hear that are wrong. No one puts motion detectors in bedrooms. They are always placed in hallways or by large entry doors, like those in a walkout basement. Contacting windows on the ground floor is a good idea, contacting windows on a second floor is stupid most burglars are not carrying extension ladders with them down a busy suburban street.
The advice about actually using the alarm is sound if you have one, arm it, it only works when armed.
In my experience most breakins are not done by master thieves they are done by meth heads looking for drugs or guns. No one is going to steal your 55 inch TV it is to hard to carry and the pawnshop won't give them much money for them.
Motion based lighting and cameras are also a good deterrent along with planting shrubs by windows that make it hard to get in or out.
Lastly get the signs and stickers from your security company and place the prominently around the property. They encourage thieves to look elsewhere because they will not want to take the chance that the alarm system is armed.

/source 12 years in the security industry
//have only seen two house break-ins in that time
///Your mileage may vary
 
2018-02-03 09:28:00 AM  
What about a moat?
 
2018-02-03 09:53:22 AM  
The other day I found some cash for gold fliers on my porch and my side gate had been jimmied open. Someone had been trying to get in. Been lots of burglaries in my neighborhood of late. There was a crew going around targeting houses with gun safes and breaking them open. How they knew which houses to hit I do not know.
 
2018-02-03 10:04:24 AM  
Left out was "Be too poor to own nice things"
 
2018-02-03 10:07:39 AM  
I wonder what they think of this sign?
img.fark.netView Full Size


If I really was a bad boy I would probably look for a gun owner. All I got to do is take them out quickly and I got free guns
 
2018-02-03 10:08:34 AM  

Man On A Mission: What about a moat?


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-03 10:24:24 AM  

The_Philosopher_King: If I really was a bad boy I would probably look for a gun owner


Guns are the number one theft item, right after drugs and money.  Guns are even better than jewelry, assuming we're not talking large diamonds or gold bars.
 
2018-02-03 10:41:37 AM  
How about the easiest one? Burglars don't pick locks. I mean, they could, and many locks aren't that tough... But it's faster to just kick in the deadbolt, if it's installed with 3/4" screws.
 
2018-02-03 11:18:58 AM  

Man On A Mission: What about a moat?


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-03 11:53:18 AM  
Own less stuff. Care about it less.
 
2018-02-03 12:08:32 PM  

45cal: contacting windows on a second floor is stupid most burglars are not carrying extension ladders with them down a busy suburban street.


'92 or '93 there was a series of second story break-ins in and around Georgetown in DC.  Very nice houses that were too cheap to alarm the windows up there.  Guy(s) were never caught.
 
2018-02-03 12:19:48 PM  
There have been a ton of break ins in my area lately. They knock to see if anyone is home then walk around back and smash a window. Or a young lady will knock and say she has car trouble, when you open the door they run in. They are coming in from other areas in 2 or 3 person groups. I live in a sleepy neighborhood with a lot of older people. Security companies are making a killing!
 
2018-02-03 12:39:12 PM  

STDMan69: A couple of my buddies were burgers, I'll tell you that they regret it. And that the majority of them got farked over pretty bad.


They got burned?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2018-02-03 01:08:13 PM  
naughtyrev

There was a controversy a couple years ago when a newspaper published addresses of people with gun licenses. They are public records in some states. If not, a friend in the police department can get the info.
 
2018-02-03 02:10:59 PM  

Billy Liar: STDMan69: A couple of my buddies were burgers, I'll tell you that they regret it. And that the majority of them got farked over pretty bad.

They got burned?


and then the cops grilled 'em.
 
2018-02-03 04:38:37 PM  
If you don't live in my neighborhood and park here, the cops have your license number within 5 minutes and an officer is en route to check it out.  no crime here.  Group of kids from blocks away tried to break into a house, neighbors opened up a large can of whup-ass on them.. they haven't been back..
 
2018-02-03 05:16:22 PM  

OlderGuy: If you don't live in my neighborhood and park here, the cops have your license number within 5 minutes and an officer is en route to check it out.  no crime here.  Group of kids from blocks away tried to break into a house, neighbors opened up a large can of whup-ass on them.. they haven't been back..


And I'm sure it's the same for every neighborhood under those cops' jurisdiction, right? I mean, good for your neighborhood and all...
 
2018-02-03 07:15:21 PM  
Yeah, if the weather is nice I leave a window open. The cat's window. Oh, you aren't afraid of something fluffy and a fraction of your size? You will be. He has ran off landscapers and hvac. He is king of DILLIGAF.
 
2018-02-03 07:53:42 PM  
"fend"?
 
2018-02-03 08:33:48 PM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: OlderGuy: If you don't live in my neighborhood and park here, the cops have your license number within 5 minutes and an officer is en route to check it out.  no crime here.  Group of kids from blocks away tried to break into a house, neighbors opened up a large can of whup-ass on them.. they haven't been back..

And I'm sure it's the same for every neighborhood under those cops' jurisdiction, right? I mean, good for your neighborhood and all...


Cops might roll through once a day... we call them if we need them.   Four blocks away, cops are all over.  We just have a tight neighborhood..  It helps that we have few rental properties..
 
2018-02-03 09:31:53 PM  

Lupis626: There have been a ton of break ins in my area lately. They knock to see if anyone is home then walk around back and smash a window. Or a young lady will knock and say she has car trouble, when you open the door they run in. They are coming in from other areas in 2 or 3 person groups. I live in a sleepy neighborhood with a lot of older people. Security companies are making a killing!


Those people are probably security company employees.
 
2018-02-04 02:28:16 PM  
I read another article like this that said some crooks actually look for NRA stickers on parked cars.  Tells em they are likely to score at least one gun when they come back and break in when no one's home.  Also, don't advertise the high end electronics you just got for Christmas by leaving all the boxes with the logos on em in plain sight out with the trash.
 
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