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(Rocketnews 24)   You meet a girl at a bar and she asks to spend the night with you. What could possibly go wrong?   ( en.rocketnews24.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Sibling, girlfriend, pretty enviable scenario, younger sister, toshibou, scary stories, double-twist ending, horror movies  
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1072 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 02 Feb 2018 at 2:23 PM (24 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-02 01:43:29 PM  
We're not doing misogyny anymore, right?
 
2018-02-02 01:44:44 PM  
Everything, everything could go wrong.
 
2018-02-02 01:45:30 PM  
Asking to spend the night with me would be the biggest, reddest flag I've ever seen in my life
 
2018-02-02 01:46:06 PM  
Do you like having both kidneys?
 
2018-02-02 01:47:16 PM  
She's only interested in the nuclear reactor in the basement.

...just need to add a bit more salt. Oh, Thorium, where art thou?
 
2018-02-02 01:47:35 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Asking to spend the night with me would be the biggest, reddest flag I've ever seen in my life


Seconded.

GardenWeasel: Do you like having both kidneys?


And my first thought.

Glad to know I'm not as original as I thought.
 
2018-02-02 01:49:57 PM  

dv-ous: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Asking to spend the night with me would be the biggest, reddest flag I've ever seen in my life

Seconded.

GardenWeasel: Do you like having both kidneys?

And my first thought.

Glad to know I'm not as original as I thought.


Why do I get the feeling we all have some good war stories to tell?
 
2018-02-02 01:59:35 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Asking to spend the night with me would be the biggest, reddest flag I've ever seen in my life


I'd say the girlfriend's scheme is the bigger red flag.

/'I knew I could trust you.'
 
2018-02-02 02:03:05 PM  

real_headhoncho: dv-ous: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Asking to spend the night with me would be the biggest, reddest flag I've ever seen in my life

Seconded.

GardenWeasel: Do you like having both kidneys?

And my first thought.

Glad to know I'm not as original as I thought.

Why do I get the feeling we all have some good war stories to tell?


Nah. We've just been recycling the same jokes on Fark for too long.
 
2018-02-02 02:05:56 PM  

dv-ous: real_headhoncho: dv-ous: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Asking to spend the night with me would be the biggest, reddest flag I've ever seen in my life

Seconded.

GardenWeasel: Do you like having both kidneys?

And my first thought.

Glad to know I'm not as original as I thought.

Why do I get the feeling we all have some good war stories to tell?

Nah. We've just been recycling the same jokes on Fark for too long.


Fb- is the father?
 
2018-02-02 02:06:59 PM  
You want some tea?
You come prepared.
I'm just waiting for the day some millionaire will get a flat. I'll change his tire and pour him tea. He'll pay my way through college.
He'll hit you on the head, and you'll wake up with an asshole the size of the Lincoln tunnel.
God. What a realist. I'm depressed.
 
2018-02-02 02:10:12 PM  
What was that?  It read like a weird horror story your dad would tell you when you were 5.
 
2018-02-02 02:42:43 PM  
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me-it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."


And the moral of this story is: always keep your condoms stored in your car.
 
2018-02-02 02:46:37 PM  
"She ended up cheating on me, and that was the end of our relationship,"

When your partner is actively trying to catch you cheating, it's usually your partner is the one cheating. People look for any excuse to justify their own infidelity.
 
2018-02-02 02:56:53 PM  
Watashi wa porunobu de kore ni tsuite no dokyumentarī o mita.
 
2018-02-02 02:59:57 PM  

Myrdinn: She's only interested in the nuclear reactor in the basement.

...just need to add a bit more salt. Oh, Thorium, where art thou?


If you're going with a thorium reactor I  believe you'll need some plutonium to seed the reaction.
 
2018-02-02 03:14:06 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 03:14:30 PM  
Was this the girl?
s3cf.recapguide.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 03:23:17 PM  
Well son, it's better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't done. And if you see your mother, tell her I said SATAN SATAN SATAN.
 
2018-02-02 03:24:28 PM  
冷える夜なので怖い話するね バーで飲んでたら女の子に声掛けられ、しばらく談笑しながら一緒に飲んでたの。 そしたら流れで夜のお誘いされたけど、当時彼女居たので無理ッスと断ってすぐ店を​出たの。 帰宅後、彼女からメール来て「信じてたよ」と書いてあったの。 バーの子は彼女の妹さんだったの。

Stopped reading there.
 
2018-02-02 03:33:03 PM  
You know, when I got briefed in for my security clearance, they warned us about honey traps.  Basically, we needed to be aware that any woman that hit on you that was "out of your league" was probably an agent of a foreign government trying to trap you into spying.

Being ugly enough that basically all women are out of my league, I found this advice particularly easy to follow.
 
2018-02-02 03:36:14 PM  
Was her menu like this?
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 03:39:21 PM  

Tyrosine: Myrdinn: She's only interested in the nuclear reactor in the basement.

...just need to add a bit more salt. Oh, Thorium, where art thou?

If you're going with a thorium reactor I  believe you'll need some plutonium to seed the reaction.


You could also use U233, but... da. *shifty eyes* But, that is already covered.
 
2018-02-02 03:46:14 PM  
This.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 04:21:15 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 06:56:59 PM  
WAY TL, DR;
Some dude's girlfriend decided to try and set him up by having her sister hit on him at the bar. Later on, the girlfriend turned out to be a cheating sack of shiat. The End
 
2018-02-03 05:55:54 AM  
Alien abduction
Touch & Go - Would You Go To Bed With Me (1998)
Youtube QOnL8-uq9Oo
 
2018-02-03 06:31:21 AM  
Sounds like something Frankie would do.

I only ever knew the Johnny Cash version, so that's what I give you.
 
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