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(Cracked)   Steven Seagal's fanfic detailing his Gary Stu combatting the Deep State...reviewed. Yes, it's worse than you imagined   ( cracked.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Tom Morrissey Prose, Morrissey Prose Appreciation, The Shadow, Native Americans in the United States, Prose Appreciation Break, Shadow Wolves, Steven Seagal, Above the Law  
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414 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 02 Feb 2018 at 2:20 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



17 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-02 01:50:59 PM  
Can you at least muscle it down after chugging a six-pack of Lightning Bolt?
 
2018-02-02 02:18:02 PM  
That was hilarious.
 
2018-02-02 02:22:01 PM  
It's that the book he recently released for FREE?  That book? Is there even such a thing as a good FREE book?
 
2018-02-02 02:34:28 PM  

Ambivalence: It's that the book he recently released for FREE?  That book? Is there even such a thing as a good FREE book?


Sure.... well... define good, I guess? But there are certainly book-of-the-month clubs.

Baen Books (a publisher specializing in pulpy/schlockey sci-fi & fantasy) will release free eBook versions of the first book or two in a series they want to hook people on.

And there's libraries.
 
2018-02-02 03:02:05 PM  
A judicious editor could cut this novel down to an angry YouTube comment.

Beautiful.
 
2018-02-02 03:17:04 PM  
Just from reading the examples of some of the lines in this book, I know I couldn't choke down half a page of that purple prose before I wanted to douse it in rubbing alcohol, light it on fire, and bury the ashes in hallowed ground where it would never be allowed to threaten humanity again.
 
2018-02-02 03:32:04 PM  
If I read that correctly the reason I don't get more links approved is that Fark mods are part of the deep state and they get off on rejecting people.
 
2018-02-02 03:42:07 PM  
Hilarious. I imagine Tucker Carlson reading it to Sean Hannity in bed as he tries in vain to coax an erection.
 
2018-02-02 03:48:32 PM  
You know what I want to see for a change?  A book about someone working for the Deep State.

No, nothing like George Orwell's 1984 and the doubleplusgood and the minute of hate and the boot stomping on face herpaderp that comes with all the novels and movies about distopian future.  I'm talking about a group that's been around since early civilization working around helping to develop humanity and preventing it from destroying itself.  No desire to lord it over others, just well-meaning individuals who just happen to be there putting ideas in the heads of others to determine the destiny of the world and of course there will be some people who don't like them and try to discredit the group at every turn.  Maybe the Deep State came across terrifying secrets they have no choice to cover up so that humanity doesn't destroy themselves, and they have to spend the story fighting off the well-intentioned but misguided masses from discovering the secrets.

Where are stories like THAT, huh?  Is that too DEEP for you sovereign citizens to comprehend?
 
2018-02-02 03:49:48 PM  
It's also available on audiobook, read by Steven Seagal.

It turned my Book of the Month Club into a suicide pact.
 
2018-02-02 04:26:38 PM  

rjakobi: You know what I want to see for a change?  A book about someone working for the Deep State.

No, nothing like George Orwell's 1984 and the doubleplusgood and the minute of hate and the boot stomping on face herpaderp that comes with all the novels and movies about distopian future.  I'm talking about a group that's been around since early civilization working around helping to develop humanity and preventing it from destroying itself.  No desire to lord it over others, just well-meaning individuals who just happen to be there putting ideas in the heads of others to determine the destiny of the world and of course there will be some people who don't like them and try to discredit the group at every turn.  Maybe the Deep State came across terrifying secrets they have no choice to cover up so that humanity doesn't destroy themselves, and they have to spend the story fighting off the well-intentioned but misguided masses from discovering the secrets.

Where are stories like THAT, huh?  Is that too DEEP for you sovereign citizens to comprehend?


Allow me to recommend The Laundry Files.
img.fark.netView Full Size

Admittedly, the Laundry hasn't been around since the beginning of civilisation - only since the reign of Queen Elizabeth I (in some form, anyway) but it pretty much meets the other criteria.
 
2018-02-02 05:05:08 PM  

rjakobi: You know what I want to see for a change?  A book about someone working for the Deep State.


It could be real boring. "He read over the newspaper article again. It was a pedestrian article about a Afghani farmer growing barley whose goat had been killed in a fall. Filler. Yet, the computer demanded an analysis of the material that would reveal some political intrigue, a bit of insight, a blot of understanding, a few crumbs of intelligence. It would not take 'no' for an answer. The screen stood like a Catholic schoolteacher finally irritated into a sort of eldritch silent menace, the blinking of the cursor like soft pats of a ruler into a calloused hand."

I'm talking about a group that's been around since early civilization working around helping to develop humanity and preventing it from destroying itself.  No desire to lord it over others, just well-meaning individuals who just happen to be there putting ideas in the heads of others to determine the destiny of the world and of course there will be some people who don't like them and try to discredit the group at every turn.

You have a treat in store. It's a bit dated, but The Questor Tapes is awaiting you at Amazon. Sadly, they don't have it streaming. Bonus: it's the origin of 'Data' from ST:TNG, and not only will you see many a similarity, but some ST:TNG episodes have cameo scenes from TQT as homage.

Maybe the Deep State came across terrifying secrets they have no choice to cover up so that humanity doesn't destroy themselves, and they have to spend the story fighting off the well-intentioned but misguided masses from discovering the secrets.

Where are stories like THAT, huh?  Is that too DEEP for you sovereign citizens to comprehend?


It's the actual truth. Sort of. In at least two or three ways. History will be cruel a few hundred years from now, I suspect, instead of praising the cover-up as a necessary evil.
 
2018-02-02 05:52:24 PM  

Ambivalence: It's that the book he recently released for FREE?  That book? Is there even such a thing as a good FREE book?


I have a friend that writes Southern gothics, is nearly always at the top of the best seller lists on Amazon, and he gives the first book in a series away for several months as a ploy.
 
2018-02-02 06:30:01 PM  

rjakobi: You know what I want to see for a change?  A book about someone working for the Deep State.

No, nothing like George Orwell's 1984 and the doubleplusgood and the minute of hate and the boot stomping on face herpaderp that comes with all the novels and movies about distopian future.  I'm talking about a group that's been around since early civilization working around helping to develop humanity and preventing it from destroying itself.  No desire to lord it over others, just well-meaning individuals who just happen to be there putting ideas in the heads of others to determine the destiny of the world and of course there will be some people who don't like them and try to discredit the group at every turn.  Maybe the Deep State came across terrifying secrets they have no choice to cover up so that humanity doesn't destroy themselves, and they have to spend the story fighting off the well-intentioned but misguided masses from discovering the secrets.

Where are stories like THAT, huh?  Is that too DEEP for you sovereign citizens to comprehend?


Mitchell & Webb's Inebriati / The Knights Tippler
Youtube usDuyoec6Lc
 
2018-02-02 06:33:08 PM  

erewhon: Ambivalence: It's that the book he recently released for FREE?  That book? Is there even such a thing as a good FREE book?

I have a friend that writes Southern gothics, is nearly always at the top of the best seller lists on Amazon, and he gives the first book in a series away for several months as a ploy.


Doctorow has released a bunch of his for free under CC licenses. Freebooks and Project Gutenberg have a shiat-ton of public domain books. I have 50 or so ebooks on my phone, all free and legally acquired.
 
2018-02-02 06:35:43 PM  

rjakobi: You know what I want to see for a change?  A book about someone working for the Deep State.

No, nothing like George Orwell's 1984 and the doubleplusgood and the minute of hate and the boot stomping on face herpaderp that comes with all the novels and movies about distopian future.  I'm talking about a group that's been around since early civilization working around helping to develop humanity and preventing it from destroying itself.  No desire to lord it over others, just well-meaning individuals who just happen to be there putting ideas in the heads of others to determine the destiny of the world and of course there will be some people who don't like them and try to discredit the group at every turn.  Maybe the Deep State came across terrifying secrets they have no choice to cover up so that humanity doesn't destroy themselves, and they have to spend the story fighting off the well-intentioned but misguided masses from discovering the secrets.

Where are stories like THAT, huh?  Is that too DEEP for you sovereign citizens to comprehend?


Phillip K. Dick's "Adjustment Team" does tell it's story from the POV of the Adjusters. And they are doing exactly what you say... Read the short story. I've never seen the movie they based on it.
 
2018-02-02 08:08:59 PM  
As god-awful as the book is, you KNOW there are a number of Trumper men that will read it, jacking off to it, imagining themselves as the lead character.  But white instead of Native.
 
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