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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: I'm a supervisor in a very hierarchical field. I have a new subordinate fresh out of college who will ask me questions. Later, in meetings, she'll ask my supervisor the same questions; we both give the same answer. How do I stop her?"   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Dear Prudence, Question, friendly customer-barista rapport, The Bill, Twitter, Dear Prudence podcast, university admissions office, n't trust  
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737 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 02 Feb 2018 at 9:35 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-02 09:13:29 AM  
You don't. She's OK in doing so.

References: Chain of command & open-door policy.
 
2018-02-02 09:21:22 AM  
Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich.

.

Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline.

.

Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done...

.

Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious.

.

Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't.

.

If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King.

.

.

Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct.

.

What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied.

.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...

 
2018-02-02 09:22:36 AM  

bigfatbuddhist: Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich.
.
Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline.
.
Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done...
.
Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious.
.
Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't.
.
If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King.
.
.
Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct.
.
What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied.
.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...


You forgot "Don't trust Whitey".
 
2018-02-02 09:23:36 AM  

Farking Clown Shoes: bigfatbuddhist: Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich.
.
Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline.
.
Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done...
.
Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious.
.
Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't.
.
If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King.
.
.
Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct.
.
What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied.
.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...

You forgot "Don't trust Whitey".


There was also something about shinola is was supposed to remember...
 
2018-02-02 09:24:04 AM  
Kneecapping usually works.
 
2018-02-02 09:35:52 AM  
F*ck her dad.
 
2018-02-02 09:39:30 AM  
Stop being petty and there isn't a problem.  The problem is you.
 
2018-02-02 09:50:55 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 09:51:04 AM  
Plant some weed in her desk and call in security.
 
2018-02-02 09:54:06 AM  
It's Friday, so let's close out the week by improving on the usual fake letters.

1) Geez, is it all THAT goddam hard to say "I saw the news of your award and I wanted to congratulate you. I feel bad that I haven't kept up communication, how have you been?" No, your mentally bereft self just wants to gossip. She's better off without you in her life.

2) How the hell should I know? These days, what one person wants will get you shunned from society if you do it for somebody else. Welcome to the minefield of offense on today's touchy topic. One wrong move and the last thing you hear will be "click-BOOM."

3) Does it not occur to you that maybe, just maybe, having a handful of barely functional people with mental issues in a house together is like you're setting up for a particularly explosive version of Big Brother? Just keep responding to her posts with "you keep posting this, you haven't got the guts" and "we've all got problems, you just suck at dealing with them." She'll get the message and get some help.

4) You'll be filling out her evaluations, right? Just do what anybody else does with a mediocre subordinate- shiat-can the evals and keep a paper trail going for firing her. Put everything she does in the most negative light, making her appear both insubordinate AND incompetent. Praise the others, but not her. Critique her, but not the others. You'll be rid of her quickly.

5) When you get your coffee, lick the foam off suggestively while following her with your eyes. Find ways for you to touch her hand when you take your beverage. Suggest you'd like to get to know her better. MUCH better. Video it. Post to the internet for the rest of us to enjoy... but only if you're both hot.

6) Screw up? Yeah, you screwed up. You should have just unplugged the heater when you see it running, muttering things about "if you're not going to pay the bill, wear a damn sweater instead of dressing like a slut." You could have nipped this in the bud long ago.

Have a great weekend!
 
2018-02-02 09:58:19 AM  
Go Postal. It is the all-American Way.
 
2018-02-02 10:05:16 AM  

bigfatbuddhist: Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich..Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline..Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done....Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious..Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't..If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King...Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct..What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied..Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...


Your great grandpappy was a wise man.
 
2018-02-02 10:07:12 AM  
Are these letters getting to be less fake bullshiat? It's almoat like she had to build a following in order to get real letters asking for advice.
 
2018-02-02 10:08:54 AM  

Fano: bigfatbuddhist: Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich..Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline..Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done....Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious..Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't..If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King...Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct..What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied..Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...

Your great grandpappy was a wise man.


...and crazier than a bag of pink mice...
 
2018-02-02 10:12:08 AM  

AirForceVet: You don't. She's OK in doing so.

References: Chain of command & open-door policy.


Also, why is the letter writer concerned? If the big boss says the same thing then the information provided is accurate and does not create risk of being exposed for ignorance, laziness or malfeasance.
 
2018-02-02 10:32:26 AM  
You don't.

Single sources are not a good thing. Unless she's bad-mouthing you don't worry about it. And if you're in a place that's so farking uptight that people can't ask for tips and advice, them she needs to get wise to this and find a new farking place to work, one that's actually collaborative.
 
2018-02-02 10:38:01 AM  
...and then if the subordinate screws things up; you say "Why didn't you ASK???"
 
2018-02-02 10:43:53 AM  

slackananda: AirForceVet: You don't. She's OK in doing so.

References: Chain of command & open-door policy.

Also, why is the letter writer concerned? If the big boss says the same thing then the information provided is accurate and does not create risk of being exposed for ignorance, laziness or malfeasance.


In the letter, the writer says she's concerned that the big boss is going to be all, "why isn't [letter writer] answering these questions for you? She's your supervisor. Maybe she's incompetent and doesn't know the answer..."
 
2018-02-02 10:56:52 AM  
Man, even the fake letters are getting dull.
 
2018-02-02 11:07:38 AM  
She is your employee. Tell her to stop doing that thing you don't want her to do.

Dear Prudence, I have a hammer and a bag of nails, how do I attach two pieces of wood to each other?
 
2018-02-02 11:14:10 AM  

Egoy3k: She is your employee. Tell her to stop doing that thing you don't want her to do.

Dear Prudence, I have a hammer and a bag of nails, how do I attach two pieces of wood to each other?


Go down to the Home Depot. See all those brown guys standing around? Hire some of them to do it.
 
2018-02-02 11:21:29 AM  
Don't question me.
 
2018-02-02 12:26:00 PM  
Stick it in her pooper.

/Always the correct answer for Dear Prudie letters.
 
2018-02-02 12:47:57 PM  
In the meeting: "[Letter writer", do you remember that you already asked me that and that's the same answer I gave. Let's not waste time in meetings re-hashing things that have already been answered"
 
2018-02-02 01:38:13 PM  

bigfatbuddhist: Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich.
.
Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline.
.
Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done...
.
Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious.
.
Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't.
.
If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King.
.
.
Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct.
.
What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied.
.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...


I am sometimes asked if I have any words of advice for young people.
Well, here are a few simple admonitions for young and old, man and beast.

Never interfere in a boy and girl fight.

Beware of whores who say they don't want money. The hell they don't.
What they mean is that they want more money; much more, these are the most expensive whores what can be got.


If you're doing business with a religious son of a biatch, get it in writing; his word isn't worth shiat, not with the good Lord telling him how to fark you on the deal.

If, after having been exposed to someone's presence, you feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. You need it like you need pernicious anemia.

We don't like to hear the word "vampire" around here; we're trying to improve our public image. Building a kindly, avuncular, benevolent image"interdependence" is the keyword -- "enlightened interdependence".

Life in all its rich variety, take a little, leave a little. However, by the inexorable logistics of the vampiric process they always take more than they leave -- and why, indeed, should they take any?

Avoid fark-ups. Fools, I call them. You all know the type -- no matter how good it sounds, everything they have anything to do with turns into a disaster. Trouble for themselves and everyone connected with them.
A fool is bad news, and it rubs off -- don't let it rub off on you.

Do not proffer sympathy to the mentally ill; it is a bottomless pit. Tell them firmly, "I am not paid to listen to this drivel -- you are a terminal fool!" Otherwise, they make you as crazy as they are.

Above all, avoid confirmed criminals. They are a special malignant strain of fool.
 
2018-02-02 01:49:46 PM  

Gordon Bennett: bigfatbuddhist: Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich.
.
Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline.
.
Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done...
.
Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious.
.
Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't.
.
If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King.
.
.
Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct.
.
What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied.
.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...

I am sometimes asked if I have any words of advice for young people.
Well, here are a few simple admonitions for young and old, man and beast.

Never interfere in a boy and girl fight.

Beware of whores who say they don't want money. The hell they don't.
What they mean is that they want more money; much more, these are the most expensive whores what can be got.

If you're doing business with a religious son of a biatch, get it in writing; his word isn't worth shiat, not with the good Lord telling him how to fark you on the deal.

If, after having been exposed to someone's presence, you feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. You need it like you need pernicious anemia.

We don't like to hear the word "vampire" around here; we're trying to improve our public image. Building a kindly, avuncular, benevolent image; "in ...


media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 03:23:36 PM  
Good stuff Gordon Bennet..
I donno if that guy was real
Nailed it right on the head with religious fundies..
They WILL be the first to fark you.

//experience is the best educator.
 
2018-02-02 03:43:24 PM  
It's odd this hierarchical workplace lacks a specific process in place for critiquing an underling.  Everyplace with that kind of "work up the chain" rigid org chart stuff I am familiar with would have had the 2nd line manager say "that question and any like it are to be directed to you immediate supervisor" to the first inquiry and that'd be the end of it.  Of course the workplaces I know like that are usually government and run by former military.  Most people adjust to it quickly or are out the door about as quickly.
 
2018-02-02 03:54:39 PM  

Oh No Joe!: Good stuff Gordon Bennet..
I donno if that guy was real
Nailed it right on the head with religious fundies..
They WILL be the first to fark you.

//experience is the best educator.


Thank William S. Burroughs for those.

Words Of Advice - Material featuring Williams Burroughs
Youtube iIB1-EeuZHI
 
2018-02-02 05:17:18 PM  
you don't stop her but you do tell your supervisor what she's up to. she's gaming the situation already.
 
2018-02-03 02:42:35 PM  

bigfatbuddhist: Farking Clown Shoes: bigfatbuddhist: Advice my great grandpappy gave me (from my perplexing but sporadic website)

The Lord loves a working man; but, for some reason, he gives the best cars to the idle rich.
.
Any problem seems more solvable when you've got matches and a can of gasoline.
.
Women like a proud and confident man; that way, after they break his spirit, they can look back on a job well done...
.
Pigs are one of the smarter animals; but, they still haven't found a way to keep from being delicious.
.
Someone has asked for a volunteer. How do you know if you should? Well, ask yourself, is this job so onerous and thankless that it requires a volunteer? If so, don't.
.
If you read a book a week, you will be a better man. If you write a book a week, you will be Stephen King.
.
.
Look at the birds and the beasts in the forest. They don't worry or strive. And, everyday, more and more of them are extinct.
.
What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! And, that tangled web will keep people from figuring out that you were the one who lied.
.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If that depresses you, you are not alone...

You forgot "Don't trust Whitey".

There was also something about shinola is was supposed to remember...


It'll all come back to you when you find your special purpose.
 
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