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(CNN)   Trump gave my company a huge tax break and all I got was this lousy ding dong   ( money.cnn.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Dow Jones Industrial Average, Trademark, Dow Jones, Dow Jones Indices, Dow Jones & Company, Hostess Brands, new tax plan, S&P Dow Jones  
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2277 clicks; posted to Business » on 02 Feb 2018 at 12:49 AM (24 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-01 07:13:44 PM  
Trickle-Down Twinkie Economics

 
2018-02-01 07:15:22 PM  
I'm sorry your ding-dong is lousy, mine is great. Like will have it's own museum after I die, kind of great.
 
2018-02-01 07:20:33 PM  
Let them eat sponge cake.
 
2018-02-01 07:22:21 PM  
Imagine the economy is this twinkie...
 
2018-02-01 07:44:39 PM  
I didn't even get a Hot Cocoa Sampler Box.
 
2018-02-01 08:07:28 PM  
I think they frown on that kind of thing these days.
 
2018-02-01 09:21:38 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


you're out of your element donette
 
2018-02-01 10:04:34 PM  
First you get the shama lama ding dong, then they want to dance with your date.....
Animal House - Do You Mind If We Dance With Yo Dates?
Youtube g7lR3YDzKCA
 
2018-02-01 10:08:48 PM  
i.makeagif.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-01 10:37:47 PM  
I don't care, Hostess assholes - until you bring back the Suzy-Q as it used to be, and not that sad farking shiatpile you're selling in its place, you can all drown in lakes of blood for Thulsa Doom, for all I care.
 
2018-02-02 12:33:44 AM  
Hold on a minute and they'll give you a cream filling, too
 
2018-02-02 12:53:33 AM  
The legend I have about Frito-Lay merchandisers is that they are allowed to eat as much of the product as they want. Within a month, they never eat the product again.
 
2018-02-02 01:08:16 AM  
The Mexican Ho-Hos suck.
 
2018-02-02 01:10:09 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: The Mexican Ho-Hos suck.


Isn't that what you pay them for?
 
2018-02-02 01:28:28 AM  
Blind Melon Chitlin'
Youtube SZclLDlcXO0


Can't have a Ding Dong thread without Blind Melon Chitlin.
 
2018-02-02 01:46:12 AM  
How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.
 
2018-02-02 02:56:46 AM  

Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.


and yet it is much more than they would have got with Hillary as president.
 
2018-02-02 03:03:43 AM  

mr lawson: Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.

and yet it is much more than they would have got with Hillary as president.


>1.5 Trillion additional debt that will be taken back in the form of cuts to the safety net and additional shackles on our children?
 
2018-02-02 03:07:31 AM  

Harry_Seldon: mr lawson: Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.

and yet it is much more than they would have got with Hillary as president.

>1.5 Trillion additional debt that will be taken back in the form of cuts to the safety net and additional shackles on our children?


hahah
you concerned about debt?
really?
do i need to post pic of debt increase under various presidents?
 
2018-02-02 03:08:38 AM  

Harry_Seldon: >1.5 Trillion additional debt that will be taken back in the form of cuts to the safety net and additional shackles on our children?


How many do you usually keep on them?
 
2018-02-02 03:11:51 AM  
 
2018-02-02 03:48:31 AM  

gunsmack: Harry_Seldon: >1.5 Trillion additional debt that will be taken back in the form of cuts to the safety net and additional shackles on our children?

How many do you usually keep on them?


A Shacklebolt, of course.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 05:23:13 AM  

Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.


You sound like a 1%er, because only someone who is a rich elitist would say $1,000 isn't a significant amount of money.
 
2018-02-02 05:45:39 AM  

dittybopper: Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.

You sound like a 1%er, because only someone who is a rich elitist would say $1,000 isn't a significant amount of money.


Awe crap.  I guess I'm a rich elitist too.  $1000 ain't nothing to sneeze at but considering a one-shot prize like that is nothing compared to what companies could have done:  given out appropriate raises that match the tax breaks they just got.

I'd take a $100/week raise over a $1000 bonus check any day, know what I mean?
 
2018-02-02 06:50:17 AM  
Now the right-wing media is starting spool up their outrage over the fact that some folks are outraged by these bonuses:

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/the​-​attempt-to-downplay-tax-reform-related​-bonuses-and-wage-increases-is-just-we​ird/article/2647911

How dare the peasants complain about their crumbs! Ingrates!

Here's an interesting list of around 300 companies, many (but not all) hewing to the "give them a $1000 bonus to get them to stop asking for a raise" model: https://www.atr.org/list .

Interesting things from the list:

This statement by the EVP of Amarillo National Bank: "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and we know with the savings from the tax reform bill..." Their employees are getting a $1,000 raise ($0.48/hour). Remember, though guys, this is "once in a lifetime." So don't expect another.

At least Ameren Electric customers in Illinois are getting the tax break. They'll get a sweet $3/mo back!

American Savings Bank in Hawaii seems to be doing things right: $1k bonuses, AND a base wage increase from $12 to $15/hour. That's actually pretty good. In fact there seem to be quite a few in there raising base wages--more than I expected.

Delaware Supermarkets: $150 bonuses. (Makes exaggerated jerk-off motion.)

Gate City Bank (Fargo): $1k hand-delivered bonus checks. Oh, wow, youbetcha, that's quite a deal there with the hand delivery, dontchaknow.

Northeast Vapor Supplies (CT): $50-$300 bonuses. (Makes really exaggerated jerk-off motion).

Number of times a business owner uses "MAGA" in announcing the bonuses: Once, thankfully (a Floriduh towing company that'll buy two more trucks and create two jobs).
 
2018-02-02 06:57:05 AM  
I work for a Wall street bank that made a big deal about giving 1k tax bonus. Then a month later when normally scheduled money gets handed out, nothing. Every single year, at minimum, it's 2.5% raise and 5k bonus. This year? 0 and 0.

/My boss said I had a great year in the annual performance review, so it wasn't that.
//$16bln in net profits through 3Q, so it wasn't that either.
///Trump hates the middle class.
 
2018-02-02 07:14:26 AM  

LL316: I work for a Wall street bank that made a big deal about giving 1k tax bonus. Then a month later when normally scheduled money gets handed out, nothing. Every single year, at minimum, it's 2.5% raise and 5k bonus. This year? 0 and 0.


Mrs. PCoC works for a bank that has a big Christmas party for its employees every year. For the past (nearly) 10 years, they've announced at the party a Christmas bonus in the form of an extra week's pay. It's come to be looked at as kind of an entitlement by the bank employees. They just assume it's coming, and a lot of those at the very bottom (the tellers) have come to expect and depend on it. The thing that's struck me as a little gross at these parties (insofar as anything is able to strike me, once I've used the free open bar to excess) is the way the announcement has been treated in the past few years. The bank president gives a speech part way through the party, and they pass out service award pins, and then he "forgets" to announce the bonus. And then someone on the Board whispers something to him and then he "remembers" and then explains that "Well, there were a lot of unforeseen expenses this year, and times are tough and blah blah blah, buuuuuuuut...we shook all the couch cushions and magnanimously figured out a way to give you all a bonus. Yaaay us!"

It's kind of like the end of A Christmas Carol where Scrooge is dicking around with Cratchitt and pretends like he's going to fire him, and then doubles his salary and sends him a goose. Only without the festive air of someone who's learned a Important Life Lesson. It's more a case of, "I shall magnanimously award you little people some money. Now be grateful and adore me...and Mrs. PCoC, for god's sake scrape your husband off the floor."

Anyway, this year there was no Christmas bonus. They even announced it before the party so people wouldn't be upset. This meant the party was woefully unattended, because a lot of those low-level folks who have come to expect the bonus were pretty pissed off, and even free bacon-wrapped shrimp and free booze couldn't cajole them to coming. The party was before the tax plan passed, though, so I wonder if they'll rethink their position.
 
2018-02-02 07:15:10 AM  

dittybopper: [i.makeagif.com image 320x241]


Yo! Ding dong! Ding dong!
 
2018-02-02 07:36:27 AM  

wildcardjack: The legend I have about Frito-Lay merchandisers is that they are allowed to eat as much of the product as they want. Within a month, they never eat the product again.


I used to do work with Dr Pepper/Snapple. They keep a cooler in the lobby fully stocked with every drink they make and welcome you (almost urge) to help yourself. The employees had free access to beverages in the break rooms.
 
2018-02-02 07:47:34 AM  
Approves.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-02 07:54:34 AM  
Didn't that company go under a few years ago, and some other baker bought the recipes?
 
2018-02-02 07:54:59 AM  
Gunther - Ding Dong Song Gunther Video (You Touch My Tralala)
Youtube z13qnzUQwuI
 
2018-02-02 07:58:56 AM  

dittybopper: Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.

You sound like a 1%er, because only someone who is a rich elitist would say $1,000 isn't a significant amount of money.


I know! $1,000, spread out over a year, is almost $2.75 per day! Think of the ways you could change your life with that kind of cash. Myself, I'm moving up from grande to venti.
 
2018-02-02 07:58:56 AM  

FormlessOne: I don't care, Hostess assholes - until you bring back the Suzy-Q as it used to be, and not that sad farking shiatpile you're selling in its place, you can all drown in lakes of blood for Thulsa Doom, for all I care.


Oddly enough this is what I came to say. They need to use the chocolate Twinkie cake to replace whatever they have now.
 
2018-02-02 08:00:26 AM  

ChrisDe: Didn't that company go under a few years ago, and some other baker bought the recipes?


Bimbo Bakeries (Mexico) were talking about it but Hostess decided not to sell because they weren't getting enough series offers.
 
2018-02-02 08:02:37 AM  

holdmybones: ChrisDe: Didn't that company go under a few years ago, and some other baker bought the recipes?

Bimbo Bakeries (Mexico) were talking about it but Hostess decided not to sell because they weren't getting enough series offers.


Thanks, I didn't hear about that part.
 
2018-02-02 08:12:52 AM  

ChrisDe: holdmybones: ChrisDe: Didn't that company go under a few years ago, and some other baker bought the recipes?

Bimbo Bakeries (Mexico) were talking about it but Hostess decided not to sell because they weren't getting enough series offers.

Thanks, I didn't hear about that part.


Np. I was doing some work with Bimbo at the time and it was a big topic.
 
2018-02-02 08:15:43 AM  
Prank Call of Cthulhu:

Anyway, this year there was no Christmas bonus. They even announced it before the party so people wouldn't be upset. This meant the party was woefully unattended, because a lot of those low-level folks who have come to expect the bon ...

Even Mr. Shirley gave out jelly of the month club memberships, for fark's sake.  And he got kidnapped for it.
 
2018-02-02 10:51:42 AM  

mr lawson: Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.

and yet it is much more than they would have got with Hillary as president.


Yah! How dare these peons who do all the work for the company only get 10% of the tax savings as a one time payout and complain about it? I mean, it's not like the company is keeping 90% for shareholders this year, and 100% every year after that. They should be happy they got what they got!
 
2018-02-02 11:02:44 AM  
And corporate gob-polishers like Stuart Varney will continue to lick this up (literally)
 
2018-02-02 11:19:57 AM  

holdmybones: wildcardjack: The legend I have about Frito-Lay merchandisers is that they are allowed to eat as much of the product as they want. Within a month, they never eat the product again.

I used to do work with Dr Pepper/Snapple. They keep a cooler in the lobby fully stocked with every drink they make and welcome you (almost urge) to help yourself. The employees had free access to beverages in the break rooms.


My brother was an Oracle DBA for Molson back in the day when they had the HQ in Toronto and they had a bar in it. There was a guy who was banned from it
 
2018-02-02 11:22:43 AM  

rikkards_alt: holdmybones: wildcardjack: The legend I have about Frito-Lay merchandisers is that they are allowed to eat as much of the product as they want. Within a month, they never eat the product again.

I used to do work with Dr Pepper/Snapple. They keep a cooler in the lobby fully stocked with every drink they make and welcome you (almost urge) to help yourself. The employees had free access to beverages in the break rooms.

My brother was an Oracle DBA for Molson back in the day when they had the HQ in Toronto and they had a bar in it. There was a guy who was banned from it


The impression I've gotten is that nearly every company based in Toronto used to do this. Seriously, I know dozens of guys who used to enjoy that perk. I came along about five years too late.
 
2018-02-02 11:30:48 AM  

BumpInTheNight: dittybopper: Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.

You sound like a 1%er, because only someone who is a rich elitist would say $1,000 isn't a significant amount of money.

Awe crap.  I guess I'm a rich elitist too.  $1000 ain't nothing to sneeze at but considering a one-shot prize like that is nothing compared to what companies could have done:  given out appropriate raises that match the tax breaks they just got.

I'd take a $100/week raise over a $1000 bonus check any day, know what I mean?


Exactly. A one-time $1,250 bonus isn't shiat compared to a $1 an hour raise. That bonus will be gone in less than a few months and the worker will be right back where they are -- wages still staying stagnant. I will say, it's generous of Hostess to offer any bonus at all, but let's not kid ourselves here into thinking this is going to change any of these workers' lives or general livelihood.
 
2018-02-02 11:53:21 AM  

holdmybones: rikkards_alt: holdmybones: wildcardjack: The legend I have about Frito-Lay merchandisers is that they are allowed to eat as much of the product as they want. Within a month, they never eat the product again.

I used to do work with Dr Pepper/Snapple. They keep a cooler in the lobby fully stocked with every drink they make and welcome you (almost urge) to help yourself. The employees had free access to beverages in the break rooms.

My brother was an Oracle DBA for Molson back in the day when they had the HQ in Toronto and they had a bar in it. There was a guy who was banned from it

The impression I've gotten is that nearly every company based in Toronto used to do this. Seriously, I know dozens of guys who used to enjoy that perk. I came along about five years too late.


I worked at a hightech firm in the 90s that had a keg (Newbridge Networks) but Molson wasn't just a keg, it was literally a full bar with bartenders, snacks etc with no cost.
 
2018-02-02 12:01:45 PM  

rikkards_alt: holdmybones: rikkards_alt: holdmybones: wildcardjack: The legend I have about Frito-Lay merchandisers is that they are allowed to eat as much of the product as they want. Within a month, they never eat the product again.

I used to do work with Dr Pepper/Snapple. They keep a cooler in the lobby fully stocked with every drink they make and welcome you (almost urge) to help yourself. The employees had free access to beverages in the break rooms.

My brother was an Oracle DBA for Molson back in the day when they had the HQ in Toronto and they had a bar in it. There was a guy who was banned from it

The impression I've gotten is that nearly every company based in Toronto used to do this. Seriously, I know dozens of guys who used to enjoy that perk. I came along about five years too late.

I worked at a hightech firm in the 90s that had a keg (Newbridge Networks) but Molson wasn't just a keg, it was literally a full bar with bartenders, snacks etc with no cost.


Oh damn! I've done work with Molson/Coors years ago (in Denver) and do not recall the same experience in the states.
 
2018-02-02 12:17:41 PM  

holdmybones: rikkards_alt: holdmybones: rikkards_alt: holdmybones: wildcardjack: The legend I have about Frito-Lay merchandisers is that they are allowed to eat as much of the product as they want. Within a month, they never eat the product again.

I used to do work with Dr Pepper/Snapple. They keep a cooler in the lobby fully stocked with every drink they make and welcome you (almost urge) to help yourself. The employees had free access to beverages in the break rooms.

My brother was an Oracle DBA for Molson back in the day when they had the HQ in Toronto and they had a bar in it. There was a guy who was banned from it

The impression I've gotten is that nearly every company based in Toronto used to do this. Seriously, I know dozens of guys who used to enjoy that perk. I came along about five years too late.

I worked at a hightech firm in the 90s that had a keg (Newbridge Networks) but Molson wasn't just a keg, it was literally a full bar with bartenders, snacks etc with no cost.

Oh damn! I've done work with Molson/Coors years ago (in Denver) and do not recall the same experience in the states.


This was just a couple years before and after the merger. He left when they moved everything to Montreal. He had the option of working from home and flying out one day a week but left.
 
2018-02-02 12:27:37 PM  

rikkards_alt: I worked at a hightech firm in the 90s that had a keg (Newbridge Networks) but Molson wasn't just a keg, it was literally a full bar with bartenders, snacks etc with no cost.


Newbridge Networks eh?  Now that takes me back to stories of early silicon valley north glory.  Mmmm that first dot-com bubble money at its finest!

/didn't work there but I am aware of Sir Matthews and his adventures around the Ottawa tech scene
//and a handful of older friends who each kicked themselves for not buying stock when they had the opportunity
 
2018-02-02 07:01:25 PM  

FormlessOne: I don't care, Hostess assholes - until you bring back the Suzy-Q as it used to be, and not that sad farking shiatpile you're selling in its place, you can all drown in lakes of blood for Thulsa Doom, for all I care.


THIS.  None of their crap tastes good anymore after the change in ownership, but the (usta-be) delicious Suzy-Qs are the worst.  It's a travesty.  I've written them and called their toll-free number to make myself feel better.  SO I don't buy any of their crap anymore.
 
2018-02-03 07:02:44 AM  

BumpInTheNight: dittybopper: Harry_Seldon: How did the Republicans communicate out that you can by off the plebeians with $1000. That's not a raise, that's not profit sharing, or better benefits, or stock. It's a farking bone to distract them.

You sound like a 1%er, because only someone who is a rich elitist would say $1,000 isn't a significant amount of money.

Awe crap.  I guess I'm a rich elitist too.  $1000 ain't nothing to sneeze at but considering a one-shot prize like that is nothing compared to what companies could have done:  given out appropriate raises that match the tax breaks they just got.

I'd take a $100/week raise over a $1000 bonus check any day, know what I mean?


This.  But the mouthbreathers are falling for it.  Company takes in billions in tax breaks and spends a couple million on a bonus and an announcement of how awesome the tax breaks are.

And this just set back the ability to convince people that trickle down is a failed experiment by a couple of decades.  These bonuses aren't a company's natural business instinct to deal with changing environment, they are a cynical PR ploy aimed at continuing to fool conservative voters that tax breaks trickle down.

And they're playing it brilliantly.  Damn.
 
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