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(Omaha World Herald)   "We don't eat in the bathroom. Pull up your pants and go put that corn dog on the table." Things your S.O. said to you while you were drunk?   ( omaha.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Um...a grown-up Lunchable, Frozen coloring books, Coffee, Sound, Peppa Pig, smiley fries, percent buy-in, chicken nuggets  
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378 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 23 Jan 2018 at 9:32 PM (24 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



16 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-01-23 06:14:01 PM  
Wrong hole.  Wrong hole!
 
2018-01-23 09:56:41 PM  
Don't pee in the sink.
 
2018-01-23 10:14:47 PM  
6 through 10 seem like pretty normal statements for anyone who lives with a Farker.

"No, Drew you cannot run for Governor without pants."

/I'll eat my corn dog where I please damnit.
 
2018-01-23 11:06:54 PM  

toejam: Don't pee in the sink.


More like don't pee in the closet.  Again.
 
2018-01-23 11:12:41 PM  
We don't?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 11:46:50 PM  
Figured it was an article about kids.

/ I used to be cool
// now I argue about bathroom habits with a smaller version of myself.
 
2018-01-23 11:53:45 PM  

biscuitsngravy: toejam: Don't pee in the sink.

More like don't pee in the closet.  Again.


Or the dryer...or the ficus tree planter in the corner of the bedroom.

/work related sleep deprivation
 
2018-01-24 12:30:17 AM  
Obviously nobody read the article.
 
2018-01-24 12:34:05 AM  
"That's the window air conditioner unit, not a toilet!"

From two roommates and the currents SO.

/8 years since last pissing into a window ac unit.
//I think I deserve a chip or something.
 
2018-01-24 12:44:23 AM  
I have to tell my drunk husband to put his penis away with regularity, my SIL says that she tells her kids the same thing almost daily.
 
2018-01-24 12:50:36 AM  
"Are you cooking the cats again?" has become mantra in my house lately
 
2018-01-24 02:50:44 AM  
We do not put handcuffs on the dog.  That's a rule.
 
2018-01-24 04:03:35 AM  
I had a roast beef, cheese, and veggies wrap drizzled with Buffalo sauce while taking a long soak in the garden tub while watching YouTube episodes of Refined. Yes, I'm single. I eat where I damn well please.
/sometimes I act like a child. Usually fart jokes.
 
2018-01-24 07:30:46 AM  

toejam: Don't pee in the sink.


Dont crap in the clothes hamper
DAMHIK
 
2018-01-24 09:27:17 AM  

Richard Saunders: biscuitsngravy: toejam: Don't pee in the sink.

More like don't pee in the closet.  Again.

Or the dryer...or the ficus tree planter in the corner of the bedroom.

/work related sleep deprivation


I urinated in the station owners office tree the night before I quit. He had just redecorated his office before cutting my hours.

/Johnny Fever was too professional to work in small market radio
 
2018-01-24 10:30:21 AM  
"Do you ever feel like you married the wrong person?"
 
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