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(Independent)   Got a cold nose? Could be a sign of working too hard. Or you're a dog   ( independent.co.uk) divider line
    More: PSA, Temperature, thermal imaging cameras, Brain, Thermodynamics, Human brain, Alastair Campbell Ritchie, Correlation and dependence, Black body  
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1729 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2018 at 1:35 PM (25 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-01-23 11:34:01 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

"I'm gonna need those TPS reports by tomorrow, Emma."
*Blank staring ensues*
 
2018-01-23 12:09:11 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: "I'm gonna need those TPS reports by tomorrow, Emma."


assets.themuse.comView Full Size


"Don't forget to use the new cover sheets."
 
2018-01-23 12:47:37 PM  
Wes Anderson Dog frowns upon these shenanigans.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 01:37:51 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Why not both?
 
2018-01-23 01:40:58 PM  
petslady.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 01:41:10 PM  
doggies.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 01:42:14 PM  
What gave it away?

Was it the ball-licking?

It was the ball-licking, wasn't it?
 
2018-01-23 01:43:00 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 01:43:26 PM  
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call my dog "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "Id like to have one too."
Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand, Ive had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married." The judge said "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex..."

My court date has been set for Friday...
 
2018-01-23 01:45:16 PM  
1)  Apply ice to nose for short duration  Think really hard about stuff and things.
2)  Perform cunnilingus on SO
3)  Touch nose to clit
4)  Run.
 
2018-01-23 01:45:23 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Not my dog. If you get this close to my dog you will be licked.
 
2018-01-23 01:48:52 PM  
suggestedpost.euView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 01:49:23 PM  
Maybe subby, but if that's the case I'd rather get promoted for having a cold nose than a brown one.
 
2018-01-23 01:49:51 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 01:50:56 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 01:54:53 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

                  "AMATEURS!"
 
2018-01-23 01:59:43 PM  
Just gotta do some exercises to keep the blow flowing...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 02:00:16 PM  

guestguy: Just gotta do some exercises to keep the blow blood flowing...

[img.fark.net image 440x311]


Meh...still works.
 
2018-01-23 02:08:04 PM  

Dahnkster: Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call my dog "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "Id like to have one too."
Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand, Ive had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married." The judge said "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex..."

My court date has been set for Friday...


Red Peters- Ballad Of A Dog Named Stains
Youtube r6MTTkGsz3E
 
2018-01-23 02:15:06 PM  

Gleeman: [img.fark.net image 300x300]
Why not both?


His own best friend.
 
2018-01-23 02:17:08 PM  
Woof woof woof woof woof...  uhh... I mean, yes.  I agree.
 
2018-01-23 02:28:57 PM  
Booping your coworkers on the nose is still frowned upon though.
 
2018-01-23 02:33:41 PM  

abhorrent1: Booping your coworkers on the nose is still frowned upon though.


Go for the balls or boobies instead...trust me.  *unconvincing wink of assurance*
 
2018-01-23 03:16:40 PM  

guestguy: abhorrent1: Booping your coworkers on the nose is still frowned upon though.

Go for the balls or boobies instead...trust me.  *unconvincing wink of assurance*


It's critical that you say "honk!" instead of "boop!" in those circumstances, though...
 
2018-01-23 03:26:07 PM  

Loaf's Tray: guestguy: abhorrent1: Booping your coworkers on the nose is still frowned upon though.

Go for the balls or boobies instead...trust me.  *unconvincing wink of assurance*

It's critical that you say "honk!" instead of "boop!" in those circumstances, though...


I used to honk my ex's boobs all the time. It annoyed the fark out of her but I thought it was hilarious cause I'm 12
 
2018-01-23 03:31:44 PM  

abhorrent1: Loaf's Tray: guestguy: abhorrent1: Booping your coworkers on the nose is still frowned upon though.

Go for the balls or boobies instead...trust me.  *unconvincing wink of assurance*

It's critical that you say "honk!" instead of "boop!" in those circumstances, though...

I used to honk my ex's boobs all the time. It annoyed the fark out of her but I thought it was hilarious cause I'm 12


animated-gifs.orgView Full Size
 
2018-01-23 03:34:34 PM  
Every dog is working for the weekend.

IT'S PAYDAY! - Topi the Corgi
Youtube un5NnEKXXAo
 
2018-01-23 04:21:48 PM  

lemurs: Every dog is working for the weekend.

[Youtube un5NnEKXXAo image 480x270][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/un5NnEKX​XAo]


uhhhh, wow.
 
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