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(The Japan News)   Dear Troubleshooter: I'm a male doctor in my 20s, heartbroken and depressed. My girlfriend broke up with me due to both our hectic schedules. She was my first ever girlfriend. What to do? Dear Dr. J: keep polishing your personality and your jumper   ( the-japan-news.com) divider line
    More: Sad, junior high school, High school, Yomiuri ShimbunDear Troubleshooter, Debut albums, English-language films, College, Middle school, Japan  
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516 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 18 Jan 2018 at 3:35 AM (25 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



20 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-01-18 02:16:42 AM  
Normally I'd go with, "butt stuff."  However this is a lonely, heterosexual, depressed, medical professional in Japan. I'll defer to @Mike_LowELL.
 
2018-01-18 02:17:04 AM  
wordpress.tokyotimes.orgView Full Size
 
2018-01-18 04:23:59 AM  
I lived with a broken heart for 8 years. Suck it up doc!

/survived
//married her
 
2018-01-18 05:23:44 AM  
Kill yourself. It's the only way to end the suffering.
 
2018-01-18 05:41:24 AM  
Why the fark is this greenlit?
 
2018-01-18 06:39:35 AM  
The troubleshooter's words are perhaps a bit harsher than they could be, but he is right. The doctor seems to have a good head for studies, but he's still misreading his middle-school situation. Popular guys do indeed often get there through athletics or academics, but those only account for so much; when all the girls reject you, it's your personality. Every. Single. Time. The doctor's writings nowadays show a fairly natural progression from that stage onward, with the falling so hard and the aching thirst: he's just a bit creepy. We have no reason not to assume that his ex was telling the truth when she broke up with him, but he's been having trouble finding women for a reason, and it started well before he became afraid of them.

There's hope. He doesn't seem to have allowed himself to become embittered. He isn't blaming his looks or his genes, or society, or women in general, as so many of the serious creepers wind up doing: his blame is still a bit off-target, but he still keeps it on himself. He can get out of this. It may take some therapy to deal with the fear, but that's doable. The troubleshooter could have provided some advice on how to get started, but the basic concepts, at least, are spot-on.
 
2018-01-18 07:15:41 AM  

wax_on: Kill yourself. It's the only way to end the suffering.


I can only assume that you're Logan Paul trying to drum up fresh content for your channel.
 
2018-01-18 07:41:26 AM  
He sounds like someone who's been shy since Jr. High, and focused on school. With the academic competition in Japan, it would mean almost no time for anything else. Of course he's going to be a social idiot. An introvert has to make a concerted effort to socialize. It IS stressful and isn't always fun to feel like you're forced to be around a lot of people.

And for you social farkers, you're lucky. I'm one of those social introverts. My comfort zone is a small group of people (2-4), in an environment where there aren't a lot of people crammed together. I'm STILL learning how to make the effort to selectively socialize. Thankfully, I didn't have the hang-up of "no guy will talk to me", but I did have the "overly studious" nailed.

He just needs to learn, and find a wingman to help get him acclimated to social situations that aren't work-related / work-driven. That said, I can absolutely get why the gal didn't want to date a coworker. That usually just makes things weird. And if she is ambitious, that can harm her career path.
 
2018-01-18 08:03:28 AM  
Maybe you shouldn't faux-casually mention "I'm a doctor" quite as often when talking to women as you did in your letter.
 
2018-01-18 10:03:18 AM  
It's not a jumper, it's a speed suit.
 
2018-01-18 10:12:50 AM  
None of my doctor friends made to official doctor in their 20s.
 
2018-01-18 10:19:30 AM  

bobug: He sounds like someone who's been shy since Jr. High, and focused on school. With the academic competition in Japan, it would mean almost no time for anything else. Of course he's going to be a social idiot. An introvert has to make a concerted effort to socialize. It IS stressful and isn't always fun to feel like you're forced to be around a lot of people.

And for you social farkers, you're lucky. I'm one of those social introverts. My comfort zone is a small group of people (2-4), in an environment where there aren't a lot of people crammed together. I'm STILL learning how to make the effort to selectively socialize. Thankfully, I didn't have the hang-up of "no guy will talk to me", but I did have the "overly studious" nailed.

He just needs to learn, and find a wingman to help get him acclimated to social situations that aren't work-related / work-driven. That said, I can absolutely get why the gal didn't want to date a coworker. That usually just makes things weird. And if she is ambitious, that can harm her career path.


Yeah I was the lady version of this guy for a long time, I swear without the internet I probably would have never had a boyfriend and now husband ever.

It also didn't help that I was working and going to college full-time too, I also have a bit of a workaholic problem.

What I recommend in these situations is to stop looking for someone else and focus on yourself. Do some travelling, volunteering, take a hobby class, get some exercise and see a therapist if you can manage it.

This not only helps make you well-rounded but has you practicing social skills and expands your social network.
 
2018-01-18 10:21:41 AM  
The dude is a doctor and he's single?  Let some yenta in NYC know, he'll have some JAPs (HA!) lining up at his door.
 
2018-01-18 10:25:03 AM  

shortymac: bobug: He sounds like someone who's been shy since Jr. High, and focused on school. With the academic competition in Japan, it would mean almost no time for anything else. Of course he's going to be a social idiot. An introvert has to make a concerted effort to socialize. It IS stressful and isn't always fun to feel like you're forced to be around a lot of people.

And for you social farkers, you're lucky. I'm one of those social introverts. My comfort zone is a small group of people (2-4), in an environment where there aren't a lot of people crammed together. I'm STILL learning how to make the effort to selectively socialize. Thankfully, I didn't have the hang-up of "no guy will talk to me", but I did have the "overly studious" nailed.

He just needs to learn, and find a wingman to help get him acclimated to social situations that aren't work-related / work-driven. That said, I can absolutely get why the gal didn't want to date a coworker. That usually just makes things weird. And if she is ambitious, that can harm her career path.

Yeah I was the lady version of this guy for a long time, I swear without the internet I probably would have never had a boyfriend and now husband ever.

It also didn't help that I was working and going to college full-time too, I also have a bit of a workaholic problem.

What I recommend in these situations is to stop looking for someone else and focus on yourself. Do some travelling, volunteering, take a hobby class, get some exercise and see a therapist if you can manage it.

This not only helps make you well-rounded but has you practicing social skills and expands your social network.


Ditto. Met my husband on a MUD (and started to date him about a decade later, after we'd both quit mudding) Like you, I focused on work, and school, and had to force myself to do something else - I traveled and volunteered, moved somewhere I wanted to live, and just DID things. Once you get into the habit, things sort themselves out.
 
2018-01-18 11:18:18 AM  
Focus your study on improving yourself, and the poontang will flow, Grasshopper
 
2018-01-18 11:39:37 AM  
que quiere decir "polish your jumper"?
 
2018-01-18 12:37:23 PM  

fluffy_pope: que quiere decir "polish your jumper"?


de-pill your sweater?

/I have no idea
//English isn't my first language so I really have no idea
 
2018-01-18 12:47:13 PM  

Leandros A: fluffy_pope: que quiere decir "polish your jumper"?
de-pill your sweater?
/I have no idea
//English isn't my first language so I really have no idea


the only jumpers I know are sweaters, skirts, and suicides, and none seem appropriate for polishing.
 
2018-01-18 12:53:29 PM  
Stay single, a failed marriage will end with you in the poor house. And her and her new boyfriend living in your house.
 
2018-01-18 03:48:57 PM  

fluffy_pope: que quiere decir "polish your jumper"?


HD Highlights of Julius 'Dr. J' Erving
Youtube xiXDhvAO7s0
 
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