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(CNN)   For those Hawaii Farkers who just crapped their pants; it was a false alarm ... and you should probably buy new pants   ( cnn.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Tweet location history, World Wide Web, third-party applications, precise location, location information, Tweets  
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5519 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2018 at 2:58 PM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



331 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-01-13 01:30:37 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2018-01-13 01:41:23 PM  
Heh!

Hmmm... someone will advocate that it be turned off, just in case it alarms the pants-wearing masses.
 
2018-01-13 01:46:11 PM  
K-mart will ship some to you.
 
2018-01-13 01:47:14 PM  
I'm going to guess a test that went wrong and escaped into the wild.  It's happened before with emergency alerts.
 
2018-01-13 01:49:16 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:


Don't you be retweeting my woman. Back off biatch, she's mine.
 
2018-01-13 01:50:56 PM  
It was an honest mistake. A Taihou cosplayer decided to go a little too into character and ate a bean-cabbage-and-cheese burrito, and someone in the restaurant sent a message on Starcraft chat saying "Nuclear lunch detected"
 
2018-01-13 01:52:22 PM  
Thanks Obama
 
2018-01-13 01:52:34 PM  
So you're saying now would be a perfect time to launch a missile at Hawaii?
 
2018-01-13 01:55:30 PM  
Cui bono?
 
2018-01-13 01:57:26 PM  
And since Trump is golfing and doesn't answer his phone when he golfs, he has no idea this happened.
Hawaii would have been a smouldering wasteland for hours before he even found out about it.

Sleep tight, Hawaii!
 
2018-01-13 01:59:58 PM  

abhorrent1: And since Trump is golfing and doesn't answer his phone when he golfs, he has no idea this happened.
Hawaii would have been a smouldering wasteland for hours before he even found out about it.

Sleep tight, Hawaii!


Pretty sure the Secret Service agents would come running at him to alert him.

They did whisper in Chimpy McFlightsuit's ear about 9/11, after all.

After that, it's all on him to react.
 
2018-01-13 02:05:26 PM  
"What shiathole comments?"

*HAWAIIAN SMOKE BOMB*
 
2018-01-13 02:05:34 PM  
Someone is SO fired. >:-(
 
2018-01-13 02:06:29 PM  

null: abhorrent1: And since Trump is golfing and doesn't answer his phone when he golfs, he has no idea this happened.
Hawaii would have been a smouldering wasteland for hours before he even found out about it.

Sleep tight, Hawaii!

Pretty sure the Secret Service agents would come running at him to alert him.

They did whisper in Chimpy McFlightsuit's ear about 9/11, after all.

After that, it's all on him to react.


Assuming they're allowed onto the golf course proper.

And since this weekend is a three-day weekend, Trump would not have found out about this until Tuesday at the earliest. His first course of action would be on Tuesday afternoon or sometime Wednesday, and it would be either a tweet or a press conference telling people how great he is.

/plus Hawaii didn't vote for him, so why would he care if something bad happens to them?
 
2018-01-13 02:08:31 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-13 02:09:37 PM  

G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]


I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.
 
2018-01-13 02:10:10 PM  
 
2018-01-13 02:10:14 PM  

abhorrent1: And since Trump is golfing and doesn't answer his phone when he golfs, he has no idea this happened.
Hawaii would have been a smouldering wasteland for hours before he even found out about it.

Sleep tight, Hawaii!


Meh, he'd find out on Monday when Fox & Friends tells him how this is the Democrats fault.
 
2018-01-13 02:15:30 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-13 02:19:13 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Best place in Waikiki to seek shelter...



/with a dozen Royal Mai Tais
 
2018-01-13 02:19:58 PM  

Felgraf: G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]

I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.


Current claim is human error.
 
2018-01-13 02:28:38 PM  

G-Ride: Felgraf: G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]

I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.

Current claim is human error.


I hate it when that happens.
 
2018-01-13 02:35:57 PM  

G-Ride: Felgraf: G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]

I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.

Current claim is human error.


This is a bit of a monumental fark up.
 
2018-01-13 02:36:55 PM  
So to distract from the shiathole comments he leaks the story about the mistress being paid off to be quiet just before the election and then to distract from that they leak the story about the other woman who was supposed to be part of a threesome then to distract from that they leak the story of the National Enquirer paying 150k to silence a 3rd woman who alleges a sexual tryst with Trump and now to distract from that they have someone scare the bejeezus out of Hawaii.
 
2018-01-13 02:40:57 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: G-Ride: Felgraf: G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]

I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.

Current claim is human error.

This is a bit of a monumental fark up.


Indeed it is. It will be interesting to watch the state authorities explain this one. And it took 40 minutes before the 'false alarm' notice went out to phones afterwards. That is unacceptable, especially if it was some dumbass that accidentally hit some button.

/apparently it was a button that works
//not sure about size though
 
2018-01-13 02:42:38 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: G-Ride: Felgraf: G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]

I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.

Current claim is human error.

This is a bit of a monumental fark up.


Someone from CNN talked to the governor and he said during a shift change at the emergency management center "someone pushed the wrong button". I would just assume sending out a message like that would be more than a one click process but who knows. If it's not, I'm guessing it will be now.
 
2018-01-13 02:48:48 PM  

abhorrent1: Markoff_Cheney: G-Ride: Felgraf: G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]

I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.

Current claim is human error.

This is a bit of a monumental fark up.

Someone from CNN talked to the governor and he said during a shift change at the emergency management center "someone pushed the wrong button". I would just assume sending out a message like that would be more than a one click process but who knows. If it's not, I'm guessing it will be now.


Not sure what the delay between pushing the button and the alert going out, but it took 40 minutes for them to send out the 'my bad' notification. That should've been done much, much faster than that.
 
2018-01-13 02:55:49 PM  
I am pretty sure there is no easy way to accidentally hit a button or this would have happened before.
Someone mentioned Russians in another thread, and that sounds more plausible than someone fat fingering the incoming nuke button which is next to the 'all ok' button or something.
 
2018-01-13 02:58:30 PM  
They need to mark that button a little better! That was a hell of a way to wake up.
 
2018-01-13 02:58:52 PM  

Miss5280: K-mart will ship some to you.


img.fark.netView Full Size


/thinks Kmart sucks
 
2018-01-13 02:59:49 PM  
I found out it was a false alarm on Facebook. They should have sent a correction sooner than 38 minutes.
 
2018-01-13 03:00:39 PM  
Missiles are on the way.  News at 11.
 
2018-01-13 03:01:29 PM  
You're not the boss of me , subby.
 
2018-01-13 03:02:43 PM  

liltingbanshee: They need to mark that button a little better! That was a hell of a way to wake up.


Or put some tape over it. Does anyone have some tape?
 
2018-01-13 03:03:06 PM  
The full message:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Not sure how staying inside or seeking immediate shelter would help you.
Let's go to the videotape and see how buildings stand up when a nuke hits:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Keep in minds nukes are  A LOT more powerful these days.
 
2018-01-13 03:04:29 PM  
I just hope one MAGA hat, shiat stain resigned himself to death and said out loud,

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-13 03:04:51 PM  
Anyone else glad that President shiathole was out golfing? Imagine if he was near the football when this error hit?
 
2018-01-13 03:05:27 PM  

liltingbanshee: I found out it was a false alarm on Facebook. They should have sent a correction sooner than 38 minutes.


Exactly. That delay is unacceptable. As soon as they knew they accidentally hit the button, they should've sent out the false alarm message.
 
2018-01-13 03:06:53 PM  

Mr.Tangent: I'm going to guess a test that went wrong and escaped into the wild.  It's happened before with emergency alerts.


img.fark.netView Full Size


I'm pretty sure that's not the text they use in a normal system test.
 
2018-01-13 03:07:02 PM  

abhorrent1: And since Trump is golfing and doesn't answer his phone when he golfs, he has no idea this happened.
Hawaii would have been a smouldering wasteland for hours before he even found out about it.

Sleep tight, Hawaii!


We should be very thankful that the Moron in Chief was otherwise occupied.
 
2018-01-13 03:08:05 PM  

Walker: The full message:
[img.fark.net image 734x308]

Not sure how staying inside or seeking immediate shelter would help you.
Let's go to the videotape and see how buildings stand up when a nuke hits:
[img.fark.net image 480x360]

Keep in minds nukes are  A LOT more powerful these days.


Naw. Today's nukes are a bunch of small bundled warheads designed for high air bursts rather than ground level insta-destruction like during the '60s. I mean, sure, if you're at ground zero it would end the same way, but the zone of destruction is minimized. There's just likely to be a lot more of those smaller zones.
 
2018-01-13 03:08:07 PM  

Walker: The full message:
[img.fark.net image 734x308]

Not sure how staying inside or seeking immediate shelter would help you.
Let's go to the videotape and see how buildings stand up when a nuke hits:
[img.fark.net image 480x360]

Keep in minds nukes are  A LOT more powerful these days.


Presumably it would be for the people who are out of range of the blast, to protect them from fallout.

Of course, those within the blast radius would be instantly vaporized.
 
2018-01-13 03:08:36 PM  
It was definitely a few minutes of ball shrinking fear. Then I noticed the ebs hadn't taken over the tv, nor were the missle alert sirens sounding. I still called my family to say goodbye, just in case.
 
2018-01-13 03:08:54 PM  
Reports of families running from the beach back to their hotels. Not sure why.
Just enjoy your last few minutes on a beautiful beach.
Do you really think your hotel will save you?
Plus if you turn on the TV the last thing you see while the warning goes across the top of the screen is Flo from Progressive making creepy hand signals at you:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Also the original detailed message said it would hit any minute, so not sure why it took them 38 minutes to send out another message saying "Yeah, our B. False alarm". Massive FAIL all around. You dun goofed!
img.fark.netView Full Size


Also not sure how they are saying during a shift change somebody accidentally hit a button.
It was a pretty detailed message and how would that happen during a shift change?
If the new employee tripped over the old employee, fell on the computer, grabbed it, and went sliding across the floor and down 10 flights of stairs with it, it still shouldn't have sent out that message.
 
2018-01-13 03:09:34 PM  

G-Ride: Felgraf: G-Ride: [img.fark.net image 634x500]

I have to wonder if someone hacked their system.

Current claim is human error.


Have we ruled out dolphin error?
 
2018-01-13 03:09:52 PM  

Walker: Not sure how staying inside or seeking immediate shelter would help you.


If there's anything growing up in the latter part of the Cold War taught me, it's that wooden desks will protect you.
 
2018-01-13 03:10:00 PM  

sunderland56: Mr.Tangent: I'm going to guess a test that went wrong and escaped into the wild.  It's happened before with emergency alerts.

[img.fark.net image 660x371]

I'm pretty sure that's not the text they use in a normal system test.


Are you also an expert in crisis actor identification?
 
2018-01-13 03:11:01 PM  

KonaDude: It was definitely a few minutes of ball shrinking fear. Then I noticed the ebs hadn't taken over the tv, nor were the missle alert sirens sounding. I still called my family to say goodbye, just in case.


Pretty much the same here. Called my wife who is on the mainland right now and started the conversation with "I might be dying soon....but I don't think so"
 
2018-01-13 03:11:12 PM  

Mr.Tangent: I'm going to guess a test that went wrong and escaped into the wild.  It's happened before with emergency alerts.


God damnit! Who deployed pagerduty production credentials to the sandbox???
 
2018-01-13 03:11:36 PM  
Probably good that President shiatstain was on the course with his phone off.  Had he learned about the alert instantly, who knows how he would have reacted, but one can speculate.  I can see him demanding to load up a full scale response to NK, and of course, once flying, NK would have loaded up their full scale response.

Let's be honest, this is terrifying.  We have a damn toddler bragging about the size of his button.  I miss that cool-headed farker Obama's cool cat's hand on the tiller.
 
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