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(Fark)   Increase your drinking quota? Decrease your fapping quota? What do YOU hope to accomplish this year? It's your official New Years resolutions thread   ( fark.com) divider line
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1097 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2017 at 8:00 PM (28 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-12-31 06:36:49 PM  
Fap more, good for the bits. Drink less and smoke more, assuming Ohio gets its medical MJ program going.
 
2017-12-31 06:47:25 PM  
Lose 30lb, as I'm beginning to sound fat, and would like some pointier knees
 
2017-12-31 06:58:23 PM  
Shed another 10-15 pounds to hit the goal set 45 pounds ago.  Maintain it for 6-8 weeks, then work on building more muscle mass, go to more events outside home, etc
 
2017-12-31 06:58:51 PM  
scontent.fmkc1-1.fna.fbcdn.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-31 07:00:02 PM  
In no particular order....

1) Maintain weight training regimen started in 2017.  Increase to solid 3-4 days of weightlifting and cardio per week.
2) Grow my business by 10%.  I paid off the bank loan needed to acquire the business this month (took 5 years) and now I want to start getting some real financial security.
3)  Less beer, more milk.
4)  Less fapping.  Yes, I feel like this is a problem and want to cut down considerably.  Problem is, I make this resolution every year, and porn gets more interesting every year.
 
2017-12-31 07:10:10 PM  
I've already started this one, but I'm trying to be nicer to people on the internet. Just because we disagree doesn't mean I shouldn't be polite.
 
2017-12-31 07:13:12 PM  
 I would like to live another year.  My goals are pretty low.
 
2017-12-31 07:40:36 PM  

davidphogan: I've already started this one, but I'm trying to be nicer to people on the internet. Just because we disagree doesn't mean I shouldn't be polite.


fark YOU!
 
2017-12-31 07:42:25 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-31 07:44:58 PM  
Finally write The Great American Novel.  Or at least finish the crappy one I'm working on now.
 
2017-12-31 07:46:59 PM  

RJReves: [img.fark.net image 425x183][View Full Size image _x_]


But isn't that off by one year?
 
2017-12-31 07:48:05 PM  

davidphogan: I've already started this one, but I'm trying to be nicer to people on the internet. Just because we disagree doesn't mean I shouldn't be polite.


That's a good one, Imma steal it.
 
2017-12-31 07:48:29 PM  
Retire.

Oh wait - I did that 2 weeks ago. Does Drew do concessions for pensioner TFers?
 
2017-12-31 07:49:35 PM  

mama2tnt: RJReves: [img.fark.net image 425x183][View Full Size image _x_]

But isn't that off by one year?


I just stoled it, I dint rite it.
 
2017-12-31 07:50:38 PM  

luckyeddie: Retire.

Oh wait - I did that 2 weeks ago. Does Drew do concessions for pensioner TFers?


Congratulations!
 
2017-12-31 07:50:58 PM  

luckyeddie: Retire.

Oh wait - I did that 2 weeks ago. Does Drew do concessions for pensioner TFers?


Senior discount?

I said SENIOR DISCOUNT?
 
2017-12-31 08:05:36 PM  
Maybe I will spend a little less time beeyotching about shiat on the internets. As if it did me any good in 2017 or 2016 or whatever...
 
2017-12-31 08:05:46 PM  
Survive yet another year. That'll do.
 
2017-12-31 08:08:05 PM  
1.  Less drinky
2.  More running/exercising
3.  Get the yard in shape by getting grass growing in a few problem areas and plant a garden (Is this really a resolution..?)
4.  Save more money/pay off credit cards
5.  As to the fapping... Hmm.. Not sure on that yet.
 
2017-12-31 08:08:52 PM  
I'm going to volunteer for Democrats in state/federal elections.
 
2017-12-31 08:09:01 PM  
Weight loss.

And to spur me along:

I currently weigh 412 lbs.

On the first of every month (beginning 1st Feb) if I have not lost enough weight I will TF one person for every pound I have not lost, minus 5.

It's not much, but it's a step in the right direction: I lost 5lbs a month, or fork over $$ to liters.
 
2017-12-31 08:10:44 PM  
OK, my brain + shampagnee = wtf.

I will lose at least 5 lbs per month.  For every pound shy, I will TF one liter one month.

Does that make more sense?
 
2017-12-31 08:12:24 PM  
We're all breathing, nobody's bleeding, and I'm resolving to keep those trends going.  Anything else is icing on the cake.

BTW, ArcadianRefugee, that's a helluva worthy goal.  Good luck.
 
2017-12-31 08:13:31 PM  
Not be the sarcastic a hole  all the time (keep my mouth shut when I should)
Keep those kids OFF MY LAWN
ride the motorcycle more
 
2017-12-31 08:13:32 PM  
Yep.

Nope.

Respectively....

I hope to die with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and my knob in the other.
 
2017-12-31 08:13:35 PM  

lindalouwho: Congratulations!


Thanks. It's been a blooming long 65 years.
 
2017-12-31 08:14:27 PM  
Buy a single 6 pack of fancy beer per week.  A different one each week.

Walk the dog more, and train him with a proper "down-stay"
 
2017-12-31 08:16:59 PM  

RJReves: luckyeddie: Retire.

Oh wait - I did that 2 weeks ago. Does Drew do concessions for pensioner TFers?

Senior discount?

I said SENIOR DISCOUNT?


Si?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-31 08:19:52 PM  
I have 3 resolutions thus far for the new year:
1) Keep this resolution (the tautology)
2) Break this resolution (the paradox)
3) 2560 x 1080
 
2017-12-31 08:23:26 PM  
Lose another 10lbs
Figure out how to exercise given my long commute. (May only happen on weekends.)
Get at least one IT cert per month. (ok, month-and-a-half to two months)
Inflate the savings.
Deflate the car loan and the mortgage
Sell the business.
 
2017-12-31 08:23:36 PM  

unchellmatt: RJReves: luckyeddie: Retire.

Oh wait - I did that 2 weeks ago. Does Drew do concessions for pensioner TFers?

Senior discount?

I said SENIOR DISCOUNT?

Si?

[img.fark.net image 300x250]


kaamranhafeez.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-31 08:24:12 PM  
Tell all the math addicts that come into my headshop to fark off and go to KFC. We don't sell chicken bones. Only oil burners. Go do some quadratic equations elsewhere. That and drink more.
 
2017-12-31 08:24:48 PM  
1. Not to make any New Year's resolutions.
2. Not to be self-contradictory with resolutions.
3.Break all resolutions I make.
 
2017-12-31 08:24:55 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: OK, my brain + shampagnee = wtf.

I will lose at least 5 lbs per month.  For every pound shy, I will TF one liter one month.

Does that make more sense?


Hey we pronounce champagne the same way!
I wish you luck and will power.
 
2017-12-31 08:25:09 PM  

Learned Hand Job: I have 3 resolutions thus far for the new year:
1) Keep this resolution (the tautology)
2) Break this resolution (the paradox)
3) 2560 x 1080


Resolve to give up something for Lent,
For Lent, give up New Years resolution.

Lather, rinse, repeat.
 
2017-12-31 08:26:43 PM  
The year is 1974. I am your dream roast Andrew.
img.fark.netView Full Size

*shakes self out of dream* What the fark is going on here? My name isn't even Andrew.
 
2017-12-31 08:27:15 PM  

JaqenHGhar: Tell all the math addicts that come into my headshop to fark off and go to KFC. We don't sell chicken bones. Only oil burners. Go do some quadratic equations elsewhere. That and drink more.


What if I do multi-variable integrals in my head while buying an oil burner? Would that be OK?
 
2017-12-31 08:27:17 PM  

JaqenHGhar: Tell all the math addicts that come into my headshop to fark off and go to KFC. We don't sell chicken bones. Only oil burners. Go do some quadratic equations elsewhere. That and drink more.


ih0.redbubble.netView Full Size



Trig... Not even once.
 
2017-12-31 08:29:05 PM  
Drink more wine, drop some weight, get back into photoshopping.
 
2017-12-31 08:29:44 PM  
I plan on fapping to subby's mom.
 
2017-12-31 08:30:50 PM  
Continue to not drink - try to cut down eating which I seem to have used to replace drinking.
 
2017-12-31 08:30:55 PM  

unchellmatt: Yep.

Nope.

Respectively....

I hope to die with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and my knob in the other.


Ahh yes, the g.g. allin approach to physical and mental wellbeing.
 
2017-12-31 08:32:14 PM  
I just fulfilled one. I ate a steak with mashed potatoes and a big shocktop.

/ my other resolution is don't eat at the strip club buffett quite as much...

// their chef is top notch.
 
2017-12-31 08:33:17 PM  

eyeq360: JaqenHGhar: Tell all the math addicts that come into my headshop to fark off and go to KFC. We don't sell chicken bones. Only oil burners. Go do some quadratic equations elsewhere. That and drink more.

What if I do multi-variable integrals in my head while buying an oil burner? Would that be OK?


Just don't say the phrase chicken bone and you can do calculus until your teeth fall out for all I care.
 
2017-12-31 08:33:53 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Weight loss.

And to spur me along:

I currently weigh 412 lbs.

On the first of every month (beginning 1st Feb) if I have not lost enough weight I will TF one person for every pound I have not lost, minus 5.

It's not much, but it's a step in the right direction: I lost 5lbs a month, or fork over $$ to liters.


Slow and steady, bro, slow and steady. You can do it. Don't be dismayed when you hit a plateau, you will get past it.

As for myself,

Lift more.
Learn more.
Find a new, better job so I can abandon my current job.
Drop down a shirt size.

Best of luck to all of us!
 
2017-12-31 08:35:30 PM  
I will strive to do more good outside of my limited circle, volunteer work whatever..
 
2017-12-31 08:35:39 PM  

RJReves: JaqenHGhar: Tell all the math addicts that come into my headshop to fark off and go to KFC. We don't sell chicken bones. Only oil burners. Go do some quadratic equations elsewhere. That and drink more.

[ih0.redbubble.net image 210x230]


Trig... Not even once.


I'm clean off math since 2006. My high school made me do it.
 
2017-12-31 08:35:54 PM  

JaqenHGhar: eyeq360: JaqenHGhar: Tell all the math addicts that come into my headshop to fark off and go to KFC. We don't sell chicken bones. Only oil burners. Go do some quadratic equations elsewhere. That and drink more.

What if I do multi-variable integrals in my head while buying an oil burner? Would that be OK?

Just don't say the phrase chicken bone and you can do calculus until your teeth fall out for all I care.


Not much of a fan of KFC so you won't hear chicken bone from me.
 
2017-12-31 08:36:22 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Weight loss.

And to spur me along:
I currently weigh 412 lbs.
On the first of every month (beginning 1st Feb) if I have not lost enough weight I will TF one person for every pound I have not lost, minus 5.
It's not much, but it's a step in the right direction: I lost 5lbs a month, or fork over $$ to liters.


Good luck!  Please do not equate plateaus you may encounter with the need for a payout.  Everybody reacts differently to weight loss.  The most important thing is to continue the effort.  All the best to you!
 
2017-12-31 08:36:29 PM  

secondpsych: unchellmatt: Yep.

Nope.

Respectively....

I hope to die with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and my knob in the other.

Ahh yes, the g.g. allin approach to physical and mental wellbeing.


The Geeg knew how to live.... and die. Life sucks scumfarks!
 
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