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(Fark)   Voting ends 1pm Eastern Time today Last chance to get your votes in Headline of the Year Final Round - Main - Puns and Wordplay   ( fark.com) divider line
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8433 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2018 at 10:39 AM (28 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2017-12-28 02:07:22 AM  
Here are your Headlines of the Year finalists for the Main page.  We've sorted the headlines from the Main page this year into four contests: Context, Puns and Wordplay, Politics on the main page, and Story Headlines.  Some headlines fit in more than one category, so we debated and put them where we felt they fit best.

For this category, we collected the headlines that had great Puns and Wordplay.  Enjoy the laughs and cleverness here!

The Headlines of the Year come from the collected Headlines of the Week, usually 10 headlines chosen for Main and Politics, and 3 chosen for each of the other tabs - Sports, Entertainment, Geek, Business, and Discussion.  Some weeks we choose a few extra headlines when we have a lot that stand out.  All these headlines are chosen by multiple criteria, including originality, creativity, intelligence, and looking at the article in a new and sometimes sideways way -- and above all: humor.  The headlines that you can show to anyone and tell them *this* is Fark.

For Headline of the Week we are influenced greatly by TotalFark voting - so vote early, vote often when you see a headline you love!  We notice!  Voting isn't the only thing we take into account in Headline of the Week though, we also consider every headline individually.  Just a couple of the things we consider: some great headlines get posted at lower traffic times and get less notice, and some decent headlines get an abundance of votes because people like the article.  We do our best to balance these and other factors to bring you the Headlines of the Week.  We do a pretty darn good job if we do say so ourselves, but we know we'll never pick all the best. We apologize if we missed yours!

Headline of the Year is all *your* votes.  Every December we collect the Headlines of the Week into multiple voting round preliminaries, where TotalFarkers get to read, enjoy and vote for all your favorites.  For the past month, TotalFarkers have been voting on multiple categories of headlines for the main page, and are currently finishing voting in the tab preliminary contests for Sports, Entertainment, Geek, Politics, Business, and Discussion.

This post is the Final round for this Main page category for Puns and Wordplay.  We took the top voted headlines in each category from the preliminary rounds in TotalFark, and posted these top voted headlines *here* for *all* Farkers to vote, and your votes will determine the winners!

Voting will remain open until Monday, January 1, 2018 at 13:00:00 Eastern Time.
Enjoy reading and voting!
2017-12-28 02:28:43 AM  
Decapitated body of young man found in Merrimack River. Investigators say they will continue to Monitor the situation

2017-12-28 02:28:47 AM  
Man shot in laundromat fight. Let's see how agitators in the media try to spin this one in the next news cycle

2017-12-28 02:28:50 AM  
Toxic Butte hole kills thousands

2017-12-28 02:28:53 AM  
IKEA recalls wooden chairs due to customer reports of sustained injuries. Help me, I'm sø very scared

2017-12-28 02:28:56 AM  
Burglar gets stuck in chimney. The flue season continues

2017-12-28 02:28:59 AM  
Fish fraud running rampant in LA; CHiPS called in to investigate

2017-12-28 02:29:02 AM  
Flying turkeys hitting power lines cause outages in Oregon. As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry

2017-12-28 02:29:05 AM  
Canadian lost for five years wandering Amazon found and reunited with family. HEY BEZOS: Update your freakin' website's user interface already

2017-12-28 02:29:08 AM  
Istanbul to constantly topple

2017-12-28 02:29:12 AM  
Man turns himself in for bestiality charges, because the evidence against him was mounting

2017-12-28 02:29:15 AM  
Employee shot in Nebraska Furniture Mart parking lot. Police quickly gave chaise

2017-12-28 02:29:18 AM  
Semi carrying fruit crashes on freeway, creates jam

2017-12-28 02:29:21 AM  
A photographer waited in a river every night for four years to get that perfect beaver shot. Apparently nobody ever told him about the internet

2017-12-28 02:29:24 AM  
After participating in 'bestiality party,' 64-year-old woman is spared jail by claiming she didn't know it was illegal. Even so, it will probably dog her the rest of her life

2017-12-28 02:29:27 AM  
Teen selling her virginity hopes to buy a car. Yugo, girl

2017-12-28 02:29:30 AM  
Oklahoma politician may face charges after being found with underage male prostitute, as his ethics and Midwest family values come up a little behind

2017-12-28 02:29:33 AM  
Man run over by tractor in LaGrange. Police want to know a-how how how how such a thing could happen

2017-12-28 02:29:37 AM  
Brain surgery with a tree saw? Must be a new branch of medicine

2017-12-28 02:29:40 AM  
A zipper-obsessed horse would be perfect for handling horse flies

2017-12-28 02:29:43 AM  
Michigan hunters told to stop baiting bears with chocolate. Surely, a master baiter wouldn't need chocolate to get a bear

2017-12-28 02:29:46 AM  
Atlanta gangsters guilty of shooting mime, not using a silencer

2017-12-28 02:29:49 AM  
17 shot dead in PNG prison breakout. JPG prison is far more secure

2017-12-28 02:29:52 AM  
Don't condemn this couple for giving birth so the infant's organs can be harvested, have a little heart

2017-12-28 02:29:55 AM  
'Arsenal' seized in home of alleged Bloods gang member. What the heck are they doing in Newark? They've got Manchester City coming up this Sunday

2017-12-28 02:29:58 AM  
Judge: "I understand your sexual partner cannot testify today because she's got laryngitis." Defendant: "No, your Honor, I said she's a little horse"

2017-12-28 02:30:02 AM  
Fisherman arrested after his wife's body washes ashore tied to an anchor. Perhaps he should have taken an anchor management class beforehand

2017-12-28 02:30:05 AM  
Man arrested after removing 500 roadside advertisements. Police went to his home, say all the signs were there

2017-12-28 02:30:08 AM  
Microsoft font may bring down Pakistani government, resulting in a political environment Sans Sharif

2017-12-28 02:30:11 AM  
Lawsuit alleges Nebraska patrol requires female applicants to undergo vaginal exam. Well yeah, it's a public cervix job

2017-12-28 02:30:14 AM  
U.S. pulls out of Paris, still needs a shot of penicillin

2017-12-28 02:30:17 AM  
Having a wonderful time in India. Vishnu were here

2017-12-28 02:30:20 AM  
Man charged with robbing magazine salesman is looking at time, maybe even life

2017-12-28 02:30:24 AM  
Man's head and upper chest found in shopping cart. Police hope to make a bust

2017-12-28 02:30:27 AM  
Two women caught at airport trying to smuggle 4kg of gold in their underwear. Au my

2017-12-28 02:30:30 AM  
Deer crashes into Dollar Tree store, asks clerk "Do you have anything for a buck?"

2017-12-28 02:30:33 AM  
Woman dies when molten caramel enters huge tank she is cleaning at confectionery factory. Friends and coworkers remember her for her sweet disposition, soft heart, and chewy center

2017-12-28 02:30:36 AM  
"Man critical after bystander pulls him from river". You would think he could show at least a little appreciation for that

2017-12-28 02:30:39 AM  
"Army scientists discover power in urine." Pee All That You Can Pee

2017-12-28 02:30:42 AM  
Coast Guard rescues three near Sea Level, which is where pretty much all their rescues happen

2017-12-28 02:30:45 AM  
"Manus Island: PNG police move into detention centre and tell refugees to leave." No worries, they'll be done in a GIF

2017-12-28 02:30:48 AM  
Inmate's execution called off because there's no vein. You probably think this headline's about you, don't you?

2017-12-28 02:30:52 AM  
Woman tricked into buying potatoes she thought was an iPhone. Available on Spudify. She found it on Mashable. Check it out on YouTuber. iPhone? More like an EyePhone. I think I'm done

2017-12-28 02:30:55 AM  
Florida to seek death penalty against killer clown. Considering the legal costs, that's just pound foolish, but Pennywise

2017-12-28 02:30:58 AM  
Michigan judge throws out marijuana butter case. Well, that's just great. Now where are people supposed to store their marijuana butter?

2017-12-28 02:31:01 AM  
Woman who ate asbestos as a child has developed cancer at 23. It's a wonder she didn't get shingles, too

2017-12-28 02:31:04 AM  
Florida man in Deland bitten by alligator near de lake

2017-12-28 02:31:07 AM  
Soon all of Hong Kong's dolphins could be dead (cetacean needed)

2017-12-28 02:31:10 AM  
Equifax hangs up the "Gone Phishing" sign

2017-12-28 02:31:14 AM  
Rare white giraffes have been spotted in Kenya. Well, they're not actually spotted

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