If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Onion AV Club)   A review of Eminem's new album: "Will the real Slim Shady please grow up?"   ( avclub.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

2995 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Dec 2017 at 7:50 AM (30 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-12-18 07:36:53 AM  
I bet subby forgot about Dre.
 
2017-12-18 07:55:43 AM  
Feels like the author of TFA wrote that headline a long time ago and has been waiting too long for a chance to trot it out.
 
2017-12-18 07:56:46 AM  
He's spent an inordinate amount of time in the last decade trying to convince himself and everybody else that he's actually better than ever.

I haven't listened to this new album, but Recovery was 7 years ago, and it was pretty darned good. The Marshall Mathers LP 2 was 4 years ago, and while it was heavy on the misogyny, was also mostly good. Maybe the author was listening to a different Eminem for the last 10 years??
 
2017-12-18 08:23:37 AM  

VTGremlin: He's spent an inordinate amount of time in the last decade trying to convince himself and everybody else that he's actually better than ever.

I haven't listened to this new album, but Recovery was 7 years ago, and it was pretty darned good. The Marshall Mathers LP 2 was 4 years ago, and while it was heavy on the misogyny, was also mostly good. Maybe the author was listening to a different Eminem for the last 10 years??


Or, like me, his first Eminem in 10 years was SNL a few weeks ago.  Crappy song that transitioned into crappy versions of good songs.
 
2017-12-18 08:25:49 AM  

farkingismybusiness: I bet subby forgot about Dre.


Forget about Dre, he's locked up in my basement.

stoli n coke: Feels like the author of TFA wrote that headline a long time ago and has been waiting too long for a chance to trot it out.


I sense he doth protest too much.  Maybe his motivation is to improve his own fame by playing Eminem's game in blog form, or is being paid by Eminem's manager to heat up attention for the album.  Either way, I kind of want to hear the album now.
 
2017-12-18 08:50:57 AM  
Wow, that was a review by someone who doesn't like Eminem, for people who already don't like Eminem. The dudes first album came out when I was in Jr High, is anyone surprised that 20 years later he isn't as "fresh"?

/im hip
 
2017-12-18 08:51:23 AM  
I love early Eminem. Then he got bitter.
 
2017-12-18 09:05:24 AM  

deanis: Wow, that was a review by someone who doesn't like Eminem, for people who already don't like Eminem. The dudes first album came out when I was in Jr High, is anyone surprised that 20 years later he isn't as "fresh"?

/im hip


You're confused as to why a reviewer had to give an opinion regarding a recently-published media product within their specialty?

Because I'm not sure that any words small enough to explain it to you exist, given that the answer to your question and the overwhelming rebuttal to your assertion is inherent in the meanings of the words you already used to make both of those.
 
2017-12-18 09:11:16 AM  
Eminem isn't in my top 5, but does anyone else feel like average Eminem is still better than the best Cardi B, 21 Savage or Lil Pump?
 
2017-12-18 09:15:34 AM  

star_bury: Eminem isn't in my top 5, but does anyone else feel like average Eminem is still better than the best Cardi B, 21 Savage or Lil Pump?


And easily better than DJ Biz-Qwik, $kidMarK, and MC TurboScro.
 
2017-12-18 09:34:08 AM  

star_bury: Eminem isn't in my top 5, but does anyone else feel like average Eminem is still better than the best Cardi B, 21 Savage or Lil Pump?


Average auctioneers are better than those clowns.
 
2017-12-18 09:44:53 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-18 09:49:27 AM  
I don't care about Eminem and haven't heard his new album. But this was the first negative review I've seen for it, and it says the exact opposite that all the others are saying in terms of him needing to grow up. Again, without having heard the thing, I can't really judge, but it's not like reviewers don't often go against the tide to stand out on something.
 
2017-12-18 09:51:18 AM  

lectos: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360][View Full Size image _x_]


Oh I was wondering when token "I don't listen to rap" guy was gonna show up.

I think the album is not bad. The production is top-notch as always. 'Believe' has a really sweet beat. I think it's just more Eminem, and that's not a bad thing. He still has incredible lyrical skills - giant vocabulary, interesting delivery. It's not as bad as Relapse, and not quite as good as his best.
 
2017-12-18 10:11:08 AM  
I'm a fan of Eminem, the kind of fan who will say with a straight face that he is easily one of the top 10 rap lyricists of all time, and probably top 5.

However, this album is hot, moist garbage, and his voice sounds weird on it.
 
2017-12-18 10:15:53 AM  
 
2017-12-18 10:22:37 AM  
Not a big Eminem fan and I'm not going to hate on the guy, but holy shiat, is he still talking about his ex?  Good god, man.  Let it go.
 
2017-12-18 10:25:56 AM  

JerseyTim: http://www.metacritic.com/music/reviv​a​l/eminem/critic-reviews


Take those with a grain of salt. No reviews from The Source, XXL, Complex, Vibe, etc. DX is probably the only legit hip-hop publication in that list.
 
2017-12-18 10:38:00 AM  
How many times can Eminem fans listen to songs about his daughter, his ex wife,  and how much he hates women? Seriously, don't the same themes over and over again ever get old?
 
2017-12-18 10:50:28 AM  

stoli n coke: star_bury: Eminem isn't in my top 5, but does anyone else feel like average Eminem is still better than the best Cardi B, 21 Savage or Lil Pump?

And easily better than DJ Biz-Qwik, $kidMarK, and MC TurboScro.


Tbh, I had to google the Billboard top rap singles to find names of what was popular these days. I still roll with Rakim and Gang Starr in the 8-track player.
 
2017-12-18 11:18:30 AM  

shastacola: How many times can Eminem fans listen to songs about his daughter, his ex-wife,  and how much he hates women? Seriously, don't the same themes over and over again ever get old?


That's like asking how many times rap fans can listen to songs about smoking weed, getting drunk, and doing gangster stuff?  OR how many times can fans of punk music listen to songs with less than a half a chord about a riot or getting drunk or both?  Or how many times can fans of *insert genera* listen to songs about *insert common genre themes here*, *insert another common theme here*, and *insert a comment about something unrelated because we're on Fark here* over and over again without it getting old?

Also, Eminem is white...change the music from rap to country and songs about his daughter, his ex-wife, and how much he hates women and it would be considered part of the genre.  All he's missing is lines about how his dog got ran over...
 
2017-12-18 11:24:58 AM  

hashtag.acronym: Also, Eminem is white...change the music from rap to country and songs about his daughter, his ex-wife, and how much he hates women and it would be considered part of the genre.  All he's missing is lines about how his dog got ran over...


That reminds me of a stupid Country music joke I heard in high school: What happens when you play a country song backwards?

The man gets his wife, his house, and his dog back.
 
2017-12-18 11:37:06 AM  
Rap?!  You mean "CRap", don't you?!!


/ oblig.
// indifferent
/// fighting the power
 
2017-12-18 12:15:24 PM  

VTGremlin: He's spent an inordinate amount of time in the last decade trying to convince himself and everybody else that he's actually better than ever.

I haven't listened to this new album, but Recovery was 7 years ago, and it was pretty darned good. The Marshall Mathers LP 2 was 4 years ago, and while it was heavy on the misogyny, was also mostly good. Maybe the author was listening to a different Eminem for the last 10 years??


That's what I'm thinking.
 
2017-12-18 12:26:46 PM  
This is pure American poetry right up there with Walt Whitman and Angie Dickinson:  "Your body is heavy duty like diarrhea."
 
2017-12-18 01:35:03 PM  

Jim_Callahan: deanis: Wow, that was a review by someone who doesn't like Eminem, for people who already don't like Eminem. The dudes first album came out when I was in Jr High, is anyone surprised that 20 years later he isn't as "fresh"?

/im hip

You're confused as to why a reviewer had to give an opinion regarding a recently-published media product within their specialty?

Because I'm not sure that any words small enough to explain it to you exist, given that the answer to your question and the overwhelming rebuttal to your assertion is inherent in the meanings of the words you already used to make both of those.


pompous verbosity as a communication tool is telling of your intellectual capacity as well as motive in responding.
 
2017-12-18 01:37:52 PM  
Sounds like an audial mixture of projectile vomit and an EF 5 tornado plowing into a dairy barn filled with unmilked cows.
 
2017-12-18 02:01:29 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-18 02:34:39 PM  

SoupGuru: I love early Eminem. Then he got bitter.


If I were still spouting raps about how many haters I had and how much better I was than everyone else after essentially conquering the rap game, I'd be bitter, too, that my creativity is that limited.
 
2017-12-18 03:11:46 PM  
Is he still rapping lame songs about how his moms didn't hug him enough?
 
2017-12-18 03:39:53 PM  
the problem with music reviewers is the same as orchestral conductors. eventually they've heard so much music that everything seems boring to them except for something atonal or so weird they're the only ones that like it.  it's why you end up with Bjork on album of the year lists.
 
2017-12-18 04:26:56 PM  

vonster: [img.fark.net image 500x483]


thelunchtabletalks.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-18 09:16:33 PM  
One thing I think rock music has going for it over rap music is that rock lyrics are often be so vague you could say they are about anything. Rap, at least the majority of what I heard, tends to be more specific and therefore becomes dated much faster.

Hearing a guy rap about his ex is a prime example. Hearing him do that back when that was a current thing in his life is not so bad. It's relevant and the intensity of emotion probably does inspire him at the time. Years later and he's still rapping about her? I'm not his therapist, I don't want to hear that shiat.
 
2017-12-19 01:33:02 AM  
I lost interest in rap before Eminem was even a thing.

/Two onions on my belt, motherfarker.
 
Displayed 34 of 34 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report