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(Kent Online)   A family so lacking in morals that they've been compared to the Gallaghers from 'Shameless' are spending Xmas in jail due to their crimes. Fark: their neighbours are having a street party to celebrate. UF: Read the comments section   ( kentonline.co.uk) divider line
    More: Amusing, Mrs Selwood, Prison, Family, brother Jason Selwood, Bodily harm, Darren Selwood, Maidstone Crown Court, younger brother Lee  
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18133 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2017 at 9:27 PM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



140 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2017-12-10 07:26:49 PM  
From the comments:

10/12/2017 20:34:54PeteMK wrote:#On the Twelth day of Christmas, the Selwoods gave to me:

Twelve broken windows
Eleven slashed tyres
Ten fights in public
Nine "He's not worth it's"
Eight inflated egos
Seven married cousins*
Six burgled houses
Five A-Asbos
Four Stolen TVs
Three pointless stabbings
Two pregnant children*
And a 'mother' with a trampoline Pole

(*probably, but I wouldn't be surprised)
 
2017-12-10 07:33:28 PM  
Bloody chavs.
 
2017-12-10 07:54:23 PM  
One of the commenters mentioned that this was just greenlit.
 
2017-12-10 08:05:31 PM  
FTFC -
11/12/2017 00:30:27
PeteMK wrote:
This article just got Greenlit on fark.com. Should be interesting to see what the rest of the world thinks of the Selwoods' shenanigans

What's yer Fark handle, dude!
 
2017-12-10 08:07:51 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-10 08:13:51 PM  
11/12/2017 00:30:27PeteMK wrote:This article just got Greenlit on fark.com. Should be interesting to see what the rest of the world thinks of the Selwoods' shenanigans
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-10 08:16:04 PM  
FAKE NEWS! The Kent family is the most American of families. Just like how they're son is the superest of men. Reminds me of my own family. Just this week I was talking to my wife, Ivanka, and her turd sniffer husband, about how much I miss our daughter Tiffany. But I know her spirit will be watching over us this Christmas. God bless the Kents, and Godd bless America!
 
2017-12-10 08:23:58 PM  
There's a family worse than the Trumps?
 
2017-12-10 08:24:24 PM  
PeteMK wrote:
This article just got Greenlit on fark.com. Should be interesting to see what the rest of the world thinks of the Selwoods' shenanigans


Glad to hear your holidays are improving.  Have a pint for me.
 
2017-12-10 08:26:40 PM  
Now that they're all in jail, perhaps you could arrange for some large eastern European squatters to move in.  Russians maybe.
 
2017-12-10 08:48:41 PM  
I might be a bit ill-tempered if I had to live in a place called Snodland.
 
2017-12-10 08:51:42 PM  
mom?
 
2017-12-10 09:23:39 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-10 09:25:43 PM  
I'm ecstatic to know that America is not the only nation that makes shiatty reality tv shows that ruins the lives of everyone involved.
 
2017-12-10 09:31:49 PM  
Thought that headline was a line from Dr. Suess.
 
2017-12-10 09:32:39 PM  
What are their Fark handles?
 
2017-12-10 09:39:12 PM  

HawgWild: [img.fark.net image 640x381][View Full Size image _x_]


Where's my two dollars!?
 
2017-12-10 09:41:08 PM  
Damn - I thought it *was* the current WH occupants.
 
2017-12-10 09:41:12 PM  
Affray was a new one on me. I've always heard it referred to as disturbing the peace.
 
2017-12-10 09:44:18 PM  
Is "Kent" in Alabama?
 
2017-12-10 09:44:40 PM  

cretinbob: What are their Fark handles?


you know, this joke has run its course. Try something new. Might I suggest something along the line of Trump, Kim Jong Un, or Putin's son in laws in a trifecta of douchery posting on NYT, Wapo, or even trying to get one of them to fall for a scam super leak?
 
2017-12-10 09:45:34 PM  
Looks like the Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia will have to up their game.
 
2017-12-10 09:46:01 PM  

ChimpNipples: I'm ecstatic to know that America is not the only nation that makes shiatty reality tv shows that ruins the lives of everyone involved.


Shameless is not a reality show.
 
2017-12-10 09:49:07 PM  
The brits need to learn proper English (i.e. "American").  I had to resort to google to figure out what the heck "affray" is.  The worst thing about the word is that it is so close to being right but off just enough to turn it into nonsense.  A fight can be call "a fray" but "affray" is just gibberish.
 
2017-12-10 09:49:39 PM  
From the comments :

.
and not a Tory voter amongst them

.
So like us.
 
2017-12-10 09:49:48 PM  
I grew up near a family like this. They're all dead or in jail right now, with the possible exception of one, who, last I heard is wanted by the FBI. Truly I don't understand people like this.
 
2017-12-10 09:51:01 PM  

fusillade762: ChimpNipples: I'm ecstatic to know that America is not the only nation that makes shiatty reality tv shows that ruins the lives of everyone involved.

Shameless is not a reality show.


But reality shows are shameless. And not real.

/plz Lord, I hope not
 
2017-12-10 09:52:21 PM  
Sounds like the UK needs their own version of Jersey Shore. The beauty of this is that they could call it Jersey Shore.
 
2017-12-10 09:53:48 PM  
I just finished talking to two nice police gentlemen about the neighbors whom Ihavent seen in a week so I'm getting a kick out of...

Wait, no.  No, I'm terribly concerned now.
 
2017-12-10 09:53:52 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: I might be a bit ill-tempered if I had to live in a place called Snodland.


Compared to Barking, Chipping Sodbury, and Crudwell, that's pretty mild as English place names go.
 
2017-12-10 09:54:50 PM  

Duke of Madness Motors: Sounds like the UK needs their own version of Jersey Shore. The beauty of this is that they could call it Jersey Shore.


They've got one.
 
2017-12-10 09:56:07 PM  

Alaskan Yoda: One of the commenters mentioned that this was just greenlit.


Fark viral marketing?
 
2017-12-10 09:56:28 PM  
But their aunt Teresa Cole, 51, had little sympathy.
She told the Sunday People: "They are feral scumbags, scum of the earth. I hate them with a passion, they are animals.
"I am delighted to see they are behind bars - Merry Christmas to them all.


Damn.  That's cold.  Like, freeze your balls just reading it cold.
 
2017-12-10 09:56:41 PM  

Duke of Madness Motors: Sounds like the UK needs their own version of Jersey Shore. The beauty of this is that they could call it Jersey Shore.


img.fark.netView Full Size

The Only Way Is Essex (TOWIE)
 
2017-12-10 09:58:26 PM  

Flashlight: Looks like the Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia will have to up their game.


Actually a very large percentage of Murica's 'Anglo' stock are descended from people just like this.  People from the British Isles who were, um......'encouraged' to leave.  America suffers for it to this day.

NSFW language.

Made in Britain - Movie Trailer - Blue Underground
Youtube H7kIMZ2Yup0
 
2017-12-10 09:59:49 PM  
Affray?
 
2017-12-10 10:00:50 PM  
Obviously, the Father died to get away from them.
 
2017-12-10 10:06:30 PM  

dailygrinds: FTFC -
11/12/2017 00:30:27
PeteMK wrote:
This article just got Greenlit on fark.com. Should be interesting to see what the rest of the world thinks of the Selwoods' shenanigans

What's yer Fark handle, dude!


So Drew has minions across the pond, too.
 
2017-12-10 10:06:48 PM  

Literally Addicted: Affray?


That's Limey-speak for "hootin' and hollerin' and raisin' a ruckus"
 
2017-12-10 10:06:58 PM  

baxterdog: HawgWild: [img.fark.net image 640x381][View Full Size image _x_]

Where's my two dollars!?


Wrong movie, Bub.
 
2017-12-10 10:07:38 PM  

Literally Addicted: Affray?


Affray: an instance of fighting in a public place that disturbs the peace.
 
2017-12-10 10:07:43 PM  
Much as I'd love to poke fun and cast the die of judgment, I really can't. People worse off than me; people look down on me.
 
2017-12-10 10:08:59 PM  
First thing I thought of:

Oh, is this your wife?
JohnYes, yes, yes, this is the wife. Yes. Um darling, these, these are the Gits.
Mrs Stokes(slightly shocked) What?
JohnThe Gits.
Mr GitOh, heaven's sakes we are being formal. Does it have to be surnames?
JohnOh, no, no. Not at all. No. Um, no, this... this... this is my wife Norah, er, Norah Jane, Norah Jane Stokes. This is Snivelling Little Rat-Faced Git. And this is his wife Dreary Fat Boring Old Git.
 
2017-12-10 10:10:04 PM  
Sounds like they are the Wales version of Jersey Shore

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXEZi​Y​ghWR0
 
2017-12-10 10:10:12 PM  
"This article just got Greenlit on fark.com. Should be interesting to see what the rest of the world thinks of the Selwoods' shenanigans"

Brexit can't come soon enough, island trash.
 
2017-12-10 10:11:38 PM  
Don't the British have ASBOS to lock people up for being dicks in general?
 
2017-12-10 10:12:57 PM  
So kentonline.co.uk is the same theonion.com
got it
 
2017-12-10 10:14:07 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: Don't the British have ASBOS to lock people up for being dicks in general?


Was wondering about that myself. Seems like most of their shenanigans would have fallen under anti-social behavior. If everything in the article is true, have to wonder why it took this long.
 
2017-12-10 10:15:09 PM  

fusillade762: ChimpNipples: I'm ecstatic to know that America is not the only nation that makes shiatty reality tv shows that ruins the lives of everyone involved.

Shameless is not a reality show.


Its just based on true events and reinacted for our viewing pleasure
 
2017-12-10 10:15:47 PM  
What's all this then?

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
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