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(Independent)   Eight morning rituals you need to adopt to live a better life   ( independent.co.uk) divider line
    More: PSA, Indra Nooyi, CEO Jack Dorsey, Twitter CEO Jack, Twitter, morning, successful people, time, Barack Obama  
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1145 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 10 Dec 2017 at 10:34 PM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-12-10 07:21:21 PM  
I agree with those but a couple are hard to pull off if you have a boss who likes to hijack you first thing every day.
 
2017-12-10 07:58:33 PM  
Pee.
Drink coffee.
Poop.
Drink more coffee.
Shower, shave, brush teeth.
Get dressed.
Go to work.
Drink more coffee.
 
2017-12-10 08:06:29 PM  
I don't do any of those things. Except perhaps "Enjoy the silence" since I don't actually get up until after noon.
 
2017-12-10 08:21:55 PM  
Sounds like a list of things that CEO's do. And since in general I don't want to be like that, I won't be doing those things.

/fark anyone who's working day starts at 9am but gets up at 4.30am
 
2017-12-10 10:16:51 PM  
I wake up every day at 5 to make my son's and wife's lunches and just her breakfast and coffee (my son typically misses breakfast, so no sense in making anything too serious for him). I then see them off at 6:50, he to his bus, she to school.

I then try to get to the Y for an hour jog. Shower, eat, and get out of the house by 8:30 and into work by 9.

Most of the time it ends up with me passing out at 6:55 until 8:55 and then me barely making my first meeting of the day at 9:30.
 
2017-12-10 10:20:30 PM  
Sex, exercise, silence, and breakfast? You would have to get up painfully early just to have the time.
 
2017-12-10 10:40:16 PM  

Gubbo: Sounds like a list of things that CEO's do. And since in general I don't want to be like that, I won't be doing those things.


I've had three CEOs in my life and as far as I know none of them did shiat, much less get up at 4:30.
 
2017-12-10 10:43:22 PM  
1). wake up
 
2017-12-10 10:44:39 PM  
These are the people that cut out of the party at 8:30-9:00 because they're tired.
...makes Jack a dull boy.
 
2017-12-10 10:45:14 PM  
I get up early
Exercise regularly
Eat properly
Priorities are aligned

Work on your side hustle

Seriously? F*ck you and everyone you've ever met
./ I do just fine
// I don't need a hustle, front, back or either side
/// using terms like "side hustle" is why you don't excel at your primary job and require one
 
2017-12-10 10:47:09 PM  

gunsmack: Work on your side hustle

Seriously? F*ck you and everyone you've ever met


I didn't watch the video, is that one of those corporate buzz-phrases or something?
 
Azz [TotalFark]
2017-12-10 10:50:06 PM  
All I know is, if I don't get laid in the morning, I'll just end up rubbing one out in the bathroom at work.
 
2017-12-10 10:58:09 PM  

Mugato: gunsmack: Work on your side hustle

Seriously? F*ck you and everyone you've ever met

I didn't watch the video, is that one of those corporate buzz-phrases or something?


I think it's a typo.  I'm sure they meant to say get up early in the morning and do the Hustle.
'Do the Hustle' (The Dance)
Youtube u-FhczpCZ84
 
2017-12-10 11:04:14 PM  

Mugato: gunsmack: Work on your side hustle

Seriously? F*ck you and everyone you've ever met

I didn't watch the video, is that one of those corporate buzz-phrases or something?


That's Uber's catchphrase. Look at Uber's business model (quickly, it won't be there long). "hustle", from the Great Depression until the disco era meant one of two things:

1. Bust your ass: "Great hustle on that play"
2. Traditional: scam stupid people out of their money (see Uber) "that guy just hustled you on the pool table"

/ the "author" writes listicles
// guess which definition is more applicable
 
2017-12-10 11:05:01 PM  
The plan I made the night before was to tackle my high priority project of exercising by having sex.

Boom. Four birds with one stone.
 
2017-12-10 11:21:05 PM  

gunsmack: Work on your side hustle

Seriously? F*ck you and everyone you've ever met
./ I do just fine
// I don't need a hustle, front, back or either side
/// using terms like "side hustle" is why you don't excel at your primary job and require one


Treat it as a terrible phrase but instead means ficus on improving you and your life goals in the direction of your career.

Or is the dance.

Either way works.
 
2017-12-10 11:27:27 PM  
Wake up, pee, put on a pot of coffee.
Drink coffee while I read Fark.
Somewhere between first and second cup of coffee, take my daily dump.
Finish second cup of coffee and Fark.
Start my day.
 
2017-12-10 11:47:47 PM  

FleshMonkey: Treat it as a terrible phrase but instead means ficus


I voted Ficus, look where that got us.
 
2017-12-11 12:07:28 AM  
So, essentially have a Type A personality.

All of that, with the exception of a good breakfast, sounds bloody awful. I prefer what Winston Churchill pioneered, which seemed to work well for him, as he lived to the age of 90. Highlights include going back to bed, drinking in the bath, naps, and staying up to 3AM.

The picture is huge, and well worth the look. 

http://mentalfloss.com/article/61489/​w​inston-churchills-guide-work-life-bala​nce
 
2017-12-11 12:15:29 AM  
I get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah
 
2017-12-11 12:41:47 AM  
Have sex - or just talk to your partner

ok.  Sounds good.

Enjoy the silence

Make up your farking mind?
 
2017-12-11 12:53:09 AM  
I am not a morning person. But I am now a stay at home dad with two kids under 4. They get up around 6am. This is not a real time of day for me. If it were up to me I'd roll out of bed around 10am, take care of shiat for 10-12 hours, rest a bit and then go to bed around 2am.
Waking up early just screws me up for the rest of the day. I seriously have to take a nap noon to 1-ish, I crash pretty hard around 6pm if I don't. The interruption in the middle of the day alters my flow and saps my ability to be productive.

I hate waking up early, it's really bad for me. But it's my reality now.
 
2017-12-11 01:21:37 AM  
Wake up.
Turn on the espresso maker and grind some beans.
Feed dog.
Feed does.
Feed other dog.
Feed chickens.
Feed buck.
Feed/milk cow and goats.
Strain and chill milk.
Make husband's espresso.
Shower if there's time and get dressed.
Make my espresso.
Grab some bread and smear it with chevre.
Check gates, leave for work.
Be at my desk by 7:15 so I can get working before all the other yahoos show up.
Nonchalantly pull hay from hair as needed, hopefully before any meetings.
If there's extra time between when my husband leaves and I do, I'll practice my music for awhile.
 
2017-12-11 01:31:27 AM  
The three shushes are all that's needed.

ave
it
ower.

Teeth get brushed in the shower. Breakfast is nice if there's time. Which there generally isn't.
 
2017-12-11 01:40:45 AM  
*ctrl f* "Vodka"

Hrmm.
 
2017-12-11 03:33:11 AM  
I guess this counts as "exercise"

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-11 03:37:42 AM  
Wake up, check for watch, smartphone, keys and wallet.  Check who's sleeping next to me.  The outcome of any of the above determines my next move.
 
2017-12-11 04:00:01 AM  
Wake up.
Scream for a Diet Coke.
Demean some underlings.
Stumble into bathroom.
Mount throne.
Swipe phone.
Watch Fox & Friends for a bit.
Rage tweet.
 
2017-12-11 04:37:21 AM  

revrendjim: Pee.

Drink tea
Drink coffee.
Poop.

Eat Toast+avocado, or eat an apple
Drink more coffee.
Poop again - what can I say? I have efficient bowels.
Shower, shave, brush teeth.
Get dressed.
Go to work.
Drink more coffee.

Too much coffee and I need a defibrillator.
 
2017-12-11 05:41:48 AM  
Here's the list:
1) Wake up stupidly early
2) Exercise
3) Eat a decent breakfast
4) Tackle high priority projects
5) Work on your side hustle
6) Have sex or talk to your partner
7) Enjoy the silence
8) Stick to the plan you made the night before


Here's what actually happens:
1) Wake up at a reasonable hour and feel disappointed that the sun still won't be up for hours
2) Bicker with your partner about chores that weren't done the night before
3) Exercise by running to work
4) Drink crappy protein shake and ensure you will get a hunger headache by noon
5) Argue on Fark instead of reading investment websites that could actually help your finances
6) Enjoy no silence, instead silently curse annoying loud coworkers and question why offices are necessary in the 21st century
 
2017-12-11 06:30:06 AM  

gunsmack: I voted Ficus, look where that got us.


Now we wait for the bee!

/not obscure enough?
 
2017-12-11 07:20:21 AM  
In short: don't have children.
 
2017-12-11 07:41:04 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I wake up every day at 5 to make my son's and wife's lunches and just her breakfast and coffee (my son typically misses breakfast, so no sense in making anything too serious for him). I then see them off at 6:50, he to his bus, she to school.

I then try to get to the Y for an hour jog. Shower, eat, and get out of the house by 8:30 and into work by 9.

Most of the time it ends up with me passing out at 6:55 until 8:55 and then me barely making my first meeting of the day at 9:30.


They leave the house at 6.50am? I'm still asleep! Why so early?
 
2017-12-11 07:55:37 AM  
Wake up painfully early
not everyone is a morning person, I do better when I sleep in and work late
Start the day right with exercise
I do feel better when I do this
Eat a decent breakfast
I do manage this
Tackle your high-priority projects
duh
Work on your side hustle
hobbies or side jobs? Sometimes a side job can get you fired
Have sex - or just talk to your partner
I'm more of an evening person, but we do talk over breakfast
Enjoy the silence
nope, got to have noise (music) to silence some of the multiple trains if thought and use as a focus
 
2017-12-11 08:14:01 AM  
Hit the Snooze button 5 or 6 times
Get up and pee like a racehorse
Pet the cat
Make and consume coffee
Catch up on news, email, FB, maybe some Fark (hi!)
Eat last night's leftovers for breakfast
Shower, skip shaving again, get dressed
Pet cat again, give wife a kiss
Drive 45 minutes, mostly on I-88 in peak rush-hour
Walk in full-stride past the receptionist while she says something retarded
Turn on Spotify and pretend to work
 
2017-12-11 08:27:19 AM  
1) Wake up stupidly early
Check. I've been getting up at 5 am every day for about eight years.  I've been doing it because...
2) Exercise
...when I lived in Philly, with my long commutes, it was really the only good opportunity to workout.  Getting home late, then making dinner, then helping kids with homework, meant that by the time the kids were in bed, I wasn't about to workout at 9-10 PM.  Not a chance.
3) Eat a decent breakfast
Check.  High protein breakfast with some good high-fiber complex carbs.
4) Tackle high priority projects
Eh.  My job has a lot of routine things that need to be done first thing in the morning, so that's what I work on.
5) Work on your side hustle
No.  There's more to life than projects to work on.
6) Have sex or talk to your partner
Sure, when she can manage getting up early and functioning without three gallons coffee.
7) Enjoy the silence
Every. Goddamn. Day.
8) Stick to the plan you made the night before
I don't make plans for the next day (relates to no side hustle).

Some of this seems to be geared to a "WORK WORK WORK" mentality.  Screw that.  I work to live, I don't live to work.
 
2017-12-11 05:10:12 PM  
#9: don't read The Independent.
 
2017-12-11 05:40:55 PM  
My Early Morning Rituals:
1: Pay bar tab.
2: Stumble home
3: Wake up on front porch
4: Try to unlock a front door that just won't stop moving around
5: Pee like a race horse
6: Try to unlock the front door using the correct key
7: Go to sleep
8: Drag myself off the couch and go to bed
 
2017-12-11 06:49:24 PM  

turbidette: Wake up.
Turn on the espresso maker and grind some beans.
Feed dog.
Feed does.
Feed other dog.
Feed chickens.
Feed buck.
Feed/milk cow and goats.
Strain and chill milk.
Make husband's espresso.
Shower if there's time and get dressed.
Make my espresso.
Grab some bread and smear it with chevre.
Check gates, leave for work.
Be at my desk by 7:15 so I can get working before all the other yahoos show up.
Nonchalantly pull hay from hair as needed, hopefully before any meetings.
If there's extra time between when my husband leaves and I do, I'll practice my music for awhile.


No churning butter ?
 
2017-12-11 06:51:27 PM  

Shaggy_C: Here's the list:
1) Wake up stupidly early
2) Exercise
3) Eat a decent breakfast
4) Tackle high priority projects
5) Work on your side hustle
6) Have sex or talk to your partner
7) Enjoy the silence
8) Stick to the plan you made the night before


Thanks for the list. I wasn't going to watch a whole video just for that.

Here's mine:
1) Wake up stupidly early. Realise that was a mistake, roll over and go back to sleep.
2) Exercise. ....is unpleasant and to be avoided at all times.
3) Eat a decent breakfast. You wanted me to exercise on an empty stomach! Ha ha ha no, that isn't even funny, you can go diaf. I managed to successfully make myself a breakfast drink while still only semi-conscious.
4) Tackle high priority projects. Right. Feed animals. They agree it's high priority.
5) Work on your side hustle.I assume that is getting the starlings out of the firebox. Rescued two already today. I can hear a third still descending down the flue.
6) Have sex or talk to your partner. ...ooh look at the fancy-pants with a partner.
7) Enjoy the silence. I can still hear that bird in the flue. They better not be treating that thing like an amusement park ride. Get out and stay out.
8) Stick to the plan you made the night before. Plans only act as a temptation for Fate to come and screw things up.
 
2017-12-11 06:56:24 PM  

RottenEggs: turbidette: Wake up.
Turn on the espresso maker and grind some beans.
Feed dog.
Feed does.
Feed other dog.
Feed chickens.
Feed buck.
Feed/milk cow and goats.
Strain and chill milk.
Make husband's espresso.
Shower if there's time and get dressed.
Make my espresso.
Grab some bread and smear it with chevre.
Check gates, leave for work.
Be at my desk by 7:15 so I can get working before all the other yahoos show up.
Nonchalantly pull hay from hair as needed, hopefully before any meetings.
If there's extra time between when my husband leaves and I do, I'll practice my music for awhile.

No churning butter ?


That's an evening or weekend chore, silly!
 
2017-12-11 10:24:26 PM  

real_kibo: gunsmack: I voted Ficus, look where that got us.

Now we wait for the bee!

/not obscure enough?


beep, beeeep, beeeeeeepeepeepeeepeep

"We were.......pollinating"
 
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