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(Popsugar)   Four words: Star. Wars. Sex. Toys   ( popsugar.com) divider line
    More: Repeat, 2006 albums, Star Toys, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars, things Star Wars, Geeky Sex Toys, iconic film series, favorite Star Wars  
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5336 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2017 at 11:20 AM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-12-07 10:00:40 AM  
I need to get working on my Jabba the Butt Plug patent.
 
2017-12-07 10:02:33 AM  
You came in that thing?
 
2017-12-07 10:08:48 AM  
Han shot his wad first!
 
2017-12-07 10:11:40 AM  
You don't even want to know how you use the Grand Muff Tarkin toy..
 
2017-12-07 10:24:00 AM  
R2D2 dildo.

DIFFICULTY: Actual size.
 
2017-12-07 11:11:33 AM  
Four more words.

I CAN HOLD IT.....

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


*KABOOOOOOOM!*

(Porkins ass explodes in a fireball)
 
2017-12-07 11:22:06 AM  
I'm kinda like Han Solo, always stroking my own wookie.
 
2017-12-07 11:22:43 AM  
one sentence.

"Get a life."

--William Shatner, SNL Host
 
2017-12-07 11:22:52 AM  
fsmedia.imgix.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-07 11:23:10 AM  
"Han Solo! It is I, C-3PO. You probably don't recognize me because of the butt plug."
 
2017-12-07 11:23:28 AM  
Use the Force! Feel it flowing through you! Let go your conscious self.

Hokey gimmicks and cheaply made toys are no match for a good blaster, kid.
/and we all know how THAT worked out
 
2017-12-07 11:23:32 AM  
Get in there -- i don't care what you smell.
 
2017-12-07 11:25:40 AM  

Tax Boy: Get in there -- i don't care what you smell.


" And I thought they smelled bad... on the outside."
 
2017-12-07 11:26:08 AM  

naughtyrev: You came in that thing?


media1.popsugar-assets.comView Full Size
"Aaph's no moomp; Mmaph ah spasheshashion"
 
2017-12-07 11:26:11 AM  
I giggled until I saw the price. I'm not buying my wife a $169 gimmick vibrator.
 
2017-12-07 11:26:46 AM  
Well, that's one way to ensure that when your 8 year old rummages through your nightstand drawer and finds your vibe, they will DEFINITELY take it out into the backyard to play "light sabers" with their friends from down the block...
 
2017-12-07 11:26:51 AM  
Princess Leia hair buns are one thing, but this is ridiculous.
/ "That '70s Show" has been in heavy rotation lately
 
2017-12-07 11:27:23 AM  
Cease and desist from Disney incoming
 
2017-12-07 11:27:57 AM  

robertus: [fsmedia.imgix.net image 700x394][View Full Size image _x_]


Nice. Same thing I thought of; "Sure to be the most f*cking annoying orgasm she's ever had"
 
2017-12-07 11:27:58 AM  

Severaux: "Han Solo! It is I, C-3PO. You probably don't recognize me because of the butt plug."


that one's like, extra creepy

just those dead eyes, staring out of someone's asshole

human-cyborg relations indeed.
 
2017-12-07 11:28:15 AM  
"I love you."
 
2017-12-07 11:29:00 AM  
"Now _I_ am the master."
 
2017-12-07 11:29:39 AM  
Chewherbacca
 
2017-12-07 11:30:10 AM  
The han frozen in carbonite fleshlight was the weirdest. I mean, I get wanting to bang Han, I suppose. I do not get wanting to bang a block of frozen carbonite with him inside...
 
2017-12-07 11:30:15 AM  
Will it make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs?  I know, the wife has a weird name for her choo-shoo-wanna-ding-o-cha-cha.
 
2017-12-07 11:30:31 AM  
Ok we got all the good quotes covered.

/Now witness the FULL  POWER.....
 
2017-12-07 11:30:33 AM  
"Oh My! What have you done? I'm backwards, you filthy furball!"
 
2017-12-07 11:30:39 AM  
Help you I can, yes...

/Insert "yodasex.wav" file from way back in college here
 
2017-12-07 11:30:45 AM  
Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough
 
2017-12-07 11:32:51 AM  
old news

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-07 11:35:44 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-07 11:37:12 AM  
Here's my repeat joke: sarlacc pit
 
2017-12-07 11:40:18 AM  

chawco: I giggled until I saw the price. I'm not buying my wife a $169 gimmick vibrator.


The Hitachi Magic Wand sets the gold standard.

Accept no substitutes.
 
2017-12-07 11:40:47 AM  
I keep repeating the headline... people are starting to look at me funny.
 
2017-12-07 11:44:24 AM  
The dildosabers are all fine and good but way too many of those shapes and designs look way too official. Also we live in a world where a Han-Solo-in-Carbonite Fleshlight/Onahole is a thing. What a time to be alive
 
2017-12-07 11:47:08 AM  
In my best/worse Jar Jar Binks:

ME THINKS THEY FORGOT THE DARTH MAUL MODEL!
 
2017-12-07 11:49:04 AM  

markie_farkie: R2D2 dildo.

DIFFICULTY: Actual size.


You're braver than I thought.
 
2017-12-07 11:51:10 AM  

cwheelie: [img.fark.net image 225x225][View Full Size image _x_]


They say "art" is what you make of it.

In this selective medium I find the subject to be in conflict within it's self.

On one hand its a classic throw back to 1977 but on the other hand, the placement of the Death Star in her mouth indicates, she eats death and is just as bad as the "dark side" by "eating death". Also the last frame of the artwork lacks in defining a nipple. It's just barely recognizable and can be eluded to the fact, that princesses are nipple-less in today's society.
 
2017-12-07 11:53:49 AM  
They came... from behind!
 
2017-12-07 11:59:17 AM  
Seems legit. What are the chances that a Star Wars fan would ever have sex with a human being?
 
2017-12-07 11:59:58 AM  
Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!
 
2017-12-07 12:01:02 PM  
Well...............yeah.
 
2017-12-07 12:01:19 PM  
No Wookiee-themed fleshlight?
 
2017-12-07 12:04:33 PM  
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!  Now let's see how well you can handle it.
 
2017-12-07 12:20:52 PM  
Hand Solo

Geezus, I'm slacking today.. Need MOAR COFFEE!
 
2017-12-07 12:22:22 PM  

robertus: [fsmedia.imgix.net image 700x394][View Full Size image _x_]


memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-07 12:24:53 PM  
Fark me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.
 
2017-12-07 12:27:20 PM  
I wanna stick my light saber in her tauntaun
 
2017-12-07 12:36:36 PM  
Death Star: "BUT.....that's not my Thermal Exhaust Port!!"

Luke: "AND that's not MY Photon Torpedo!!!"
 
2017-12-07 12:44:25 PM  
WARNING: DO NOT READ.

ALWAYS GOOD ADVICE, EVEN WHERE STAR WARS IS INVOLVED


Best Dildo: 3PRICK-CPO

Best Butt plug: R2D2.

Worst Dildo: Chewbacca. Damn he's messy!

Biggest Dildo: Still George Lucas after all these years.

Best Chinese balls: The New and Improved R2D2.

Freakiest Kink Toy: Jabba the Hutt

Most hygienic washable butt toy: White Stormtroopers.

For the fearless only: Jar-Jar Binks blow-up doll. Noted tendency to leak radioactive Polonium 209 or cyanide gas. See Ralph Nader's new book: JAR-JAR BINKS: THE STEALTHY KILLER.

Most illegal sex toy:  Anakin Walker sex doll.

Most popular sex toy: The Farkable version of Yoda. Says several useful phrases such as "Use the Force, Luke! Use the damned Force!" "Ever notice that my face looks like Gyna! What about it Orange Boy?"

Robotic versions of most characters are available as well as portable Turtle Clones.
 
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