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(NBC New York)   The search is on for Zippy, the life-size elf that somebody stole from Deerfield, NH   ( nbcnewyork.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Saint Anselm College, Deerfield Rescue Squad, New England, Game, beloved life-size elf, Vermont, Massachusetts, Emergency medical services  
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1881 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2017 at 11:50 AM (32 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-12-06 09:49:30 AM  
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2017-12-06 09:56:51 AM  
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Oh, ZIPPY? OK.
 
2017-12-06 10:34:37 AM  
I don't want to be a dick here, but I've seen the movie Elf so I consider myself an expert in elf identification, and that elf is at least twice the size of normal elves.
 
2017-12-06 10:45:35 AM  
His momma might have contracted the Zika virus while pregnant with Zippy...

/he's displaying signs of microcephaly
 
2017-12-06 10:48:29 AM  
He's in the Senate.
 
2017-12-06 11:47:56 AM  
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2017-12-06 11:52:03 AM  
Did they check the shelf?
 
2017-12-06 11:54:16 AM  
There is no such thing as a "life sized elf."
 
2017-12-06 11:57:19 AM  
"we are very upset about someone choosing to ruin the fun for Deerfield's children."

You know what's fun for children?  Being able to leave the house without having to worry that some creepy elf in tights might pop up and watch everything they do with unblinking eyes and report back to the powers that be.
 
2017-12-06 11:57:47 AM  
Elves aren't real so I'm not sure how you determine that you elf is life-sized.
 
2017-12-06 11:58:01 AM  
You can all sleep tonight, Zippy has been found.
 
2017-12-06 11:58:02 AM  
If elves don't exist, then how can there be a life-sized elf?

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2017-12-06 12:00:15 PM  
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2017-12-06 12:00:23 PM  
Have they checked the shelf..?
 
2017-12-06 12:00:24 PM  
Every year there are a few stories about missing Christmas Decorations from people's yards.

I suspect its bored teenagers with nothing better to do.

Might want to check the local social media feeds as most of these kids are so smart, they'll post selfies of themselves with the stolen item.

One teen did this in my local area last year and his selfie showed up on the local news programs and he turned himself in, returned the stolen item and apologized the next day.
 
2017-12-06 12:00:33 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Elves aren't real so I'm not sure how you determine that you elf is life-sized.


I think they mean as big as life itself.  Shiat gets super metaphysical in Deerfield.
 
2017-12-06 12:00:54 PM  

Salmon: You can all sleep tonight, Zippy has been found.


Passed out on top of waitress at The Prancing Pony, probably.
 
2017-12-06 12:01:10 PM  

theresnothinglft: Did they check the shelf?


Tiny fist (mainly for my own lack of checking the actual comments)
 
2017-12-06 12:01:23 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Elves aren't real so I'm not sure how you determine that you elf is life-sized.


Easy. The elf is the same size as my girlfriend.

/She's from Canada, you wouldn't know her
//But one thing is certain, she definitely exists
 
2017-12-06 12:03:07 PM  
how big are elves in real life, subby?
 
2017-12-06 12:03:44 PM  

bdub77: I don't want to be a dick here, but I've seen the movie Elf so I consider myself an expert in elf identification, and that elf is at least twice the size of normal elves.


That implies that other elves are abnormal, so "average elves" is the preferred terminology.
 
2017-12-06 12:06:39 PM  

Tedlick: There is no such thing as a "life sized elf."


Yes. Thank you.
 
2017-12-06 12:09:08 PM  
This is not a joke or a game, we are very upset

Nope, not funny at all..

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2017-12-06 12:11:19 PM  
THE ZIPPY THEME SONG (lyrics by Fred Schneider)

Some say he was born on a distant planet
4,538 years ago
Others say he was sold for five hundred dollars
To a travelling carnival sideshow
But all I know is
Zippy! He's the cool in Cool Whip
Zippy! He's the blast in bean dip
Watch out! Yow! 'Cause here he comes
A totally modular fellow
The maraschino in Jell-o
Zippy! What a baby boomer
Zippy! He's a real consumer
If the rinse cycle of sorrow is spoilin' your day
There's a polka-dotted pinhead headin' your way
Yow! Zippy! He put the whiz in the cheese
(His life's a patio of fun)
Zippy! A heart as pure as Tastee Freeze
(With sunshine and astroturf and loads and loads of Ding Dongs)
Zippy! From Levittown to Rigel
Zippy! It's taco sauce and Digel
The 24-hour shopping mall is where he's at
Are we having fun yet?
Liz and Lonnie yell, "You bet!"
Zippy! From Mars to any Main Streeet
Zippy! It's Cap'n Crunch and lunch meat
The polka-dotted pinhead that's workin' his way
In to your artificial hearts today
Zippy, Zippy, Zippy...
(scat break by Jon Hendricks)
Zippy! He put the Dream in the Whip
(Exciting as a Day Glo Tilt-a-whirl)
His mind's a polysorbate trip
(With sunshine and astroturf and loads and loads of Ding Dongs)
Zippy! Why try it, he'll like it
Zippy! Don't test for safety, he'll buy it
The 24-hour laundromat is where he's at
Socialites from coast-to-coast
Even alien game show hosts want
Zippy! He's hot as a wire
Zippy! Or a deep fat fryer
The polka-dotted pinhead with a ton of glamour
Livin' in the fast lane at the Bowl-A-Rama
He's the pearhead with the pow
He's in the here and now
It's Zippy!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Zippy!
It's Zippy------Yow!

The Manhattan Transfer covered this song.
 
2017-12-06 12:13:19 PM  

Tedlick: There is no such thing as a "life sized elf."


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2017-12-06 12:15:36 PM  
I think this year the big haul is going around late at night and stealing this thing off of people's lawns.


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See, they can be used indoors. Get stoned, drop some LSD, put on some psychedelic music, hit the lights and bingo...the insides of your house will look like it's melting.
 
2017-12-06 12:16:01 PM  

RJReves: He's in the Senate.


No, no, no - you're thinking of UN-Zippy, the Alabama Elf who might be elected to the Senate
 
2017-12-06 12:16:45 PM  
I can only imagine what's happened to him. To wit.... (CSB)...

As a prank, some jocks in my HS senior class stole the Ronald McDonald statue from the drive thru line at our local restaurant. They found him 20 feet up a tree in our senior courtyard with an empty beer can in his waving hand. Pricipal caught sayof not happy.

/ CSB
 
2017-12-06 12:17:32 PM  
That thing is creeper than IT

Is zippys head on backwards?

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2017-12-06 12:31:24 PM  

Tedlick: There is no such thing as a "life sized elf."


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-06 12:54:22 PM  

HighlanderRPI: RJReves: He's in the Senate.

No, no, no - you're thinking of UN-Zippy, the Alabama Elf who might be elected to the Senate


Actually I was thinking of Sessions.
 
2017-12-06 01:03:25 PM  
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2017-12-06 01:31:48 PM  

theresnothinglft: Did they check the shelf?


Go check the elf shelf yourself, Telph.
 
2017-12-06 01:39:17 PM  
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I'd be upset if someone ran off with my Elf too.
 
2017-12-06 01:41:15 PM  
I've seen elves be portrayed from everything from smaller than smurfs, to slightly taller than an average man, depending on what myth you are listening to.  There isn't any real consistency here, so when you say "life sized elf" that could mean anything from the size of a thimble, to a real doll dressed up in holiday entire.
 
2017-12-06 01:55:30 PM  

originalmouse: how big are elves in real life, subby?


Table: High Elf Random Height and Weight
Gender     Base Height     Height Modifier     Base Weight     Weight Modifier
Male     4' 5"     +2d6     85 lb.     × (1d6) lb.
Female     4' 5"     +2d6     80 lb.     × (1d6) lb.
 
2017-12-06 02:07:32 PM  
TIL Fark has no love for Zippy the Pinhead

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2017-12-06 02:08:52 PM  
Well, maybe a little love.
 
2017-12-06 02:10:15 PM  

steklo: I think this year the big haul is going around late at night and stealing this thing off of people's lawns.


[i5.walmartimages.com image 450x450][View Full Size image _x_]

See, they can be used indoors. Get stoned, drop some LSD, put on some psychedelic music, hit the lights and bingo...the insides of your house will look like it's melting.


One of my neighbors has one. You're welcome to it.
 
2017-12-06 02:23:07 PM  
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2017-12-06 02:51:01 PM  
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2017-12-06 02:57:29 PM  
Come on, he'd read about that gnome who left and traveled the world, and he wanted to do the same!
 
2017-12-06 02:57:54 PM  
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2017-12-06 03:15:18 PM  
and then there's

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From TVs Golden Age.
 
2017-12-06 03:17:11 PM  
Try again..

Zippy The Chimp on The Ed Sullivan Show
Youtube VW5gP25NBlE
 
2017-12-06 03:27:20 PM  
Have they looked in Annapolis Junction, Maryland or Mclean, Virginia?
 
2017-12-06 04:15:36 PM  
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2017-12-06 04:23:25 PM  
I would not want it back now...some deviant probably has it set up in his basement fapping nook as a new sensual partner. It is now...unclean.
 
2017-12-06 04:26:21 PM  

Optimus Primate: I would not want it back now...some deviant probably has it set up in his basement fapping nook as a new sensual partner. It is now...unclean.


O_O  How did you know about my nook?!
 
2017-12-06 04:28:44 PM  
I sure hope a naughty man didn't kidnap him and punish his bottom severely!

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