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(Onion AV Club)   David S. Goyer forced to helm the He-Man reboot no one wants   ( avclub.com) divider line
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1746 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 01 Dec 2017 at 11:50 AM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-12-01 11:29:07 AM  
My inner eight year old is looking forward to it. The one from the 1980s was terrible.
 
2017-12-01 11:53:17 AM  
Best enjoyed on acid.

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-01 12:01:55 PM  
I wouldn't mind if it was based on the 2002 version.
 
2017-12-01 12:09:15 PM  
fark you subby
 
2017-12-01 12:10:44 PM  
Blech, just let Marvel make a Kazaar movie. Although w/ the Savage Land being mostly X-Men stuff, it might be stuck w/ Fox. Kazaar ain't a mutant, though.
 
2017-12-01 12:13:39 PM  
Queen Marlena will be renamed to queen Martha.
 
2017-12-01 12:15:27 PM  
he-man beganz
 
2017-12-01 12:16:16 PM  
Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.
 
2017-12-01 12:18:33 PM  
Dark City/HeMan mashup is the reboot everyone needs
 
2017-12-01 12:18:48 PM  

Flappyhead: Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.


Oh, and Eva Green for the Sorceress.
 
2017-12-01 12:25:50 PM  
I liked the Dolph Lundgren/Billy Barty/Courtney Cox/Frank Langella  movie.  It was silly fun.
 
2017-12-01 12:27:52 PM  

Flappyhead: Flappyhead: Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.

Oh, and Eva Green for the Sorceress.


Diora Baird for She Ra
 
2017-12-01 12:29:52 PM  

rockymountainrider: Flappyhead: Flappyhead: Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.

Oh, and Eva Green for the Sorceress.

Diora Baird for She Ra


I like how you think.
 
2017-12-01 12:42:23 PM  
Oh good. As if I didn't already feel bad enough about my body.
Could we please get some "normal" man to play He-Man this time? And please show him eating normally.
 
2017-12-01 12:42:59 PM  
Frank Langella WAS Skeletor. Much better movie than I expected when I took my 6 and 7 year old boys to the film.
 
2017-12-01 12:44:11 PM  

Thong_of_Zardoz: Oh good. As if I didn't already feel bad enough about my body.
Could we please get some "normal" man to play He-Man this time? And please show him eating normally.


Yeah he should be played by Margaret Cho

/huh?
 
2017-12-01 12:46:24 PM  

rockymountainrider: Flappyhead: Flappyhead: Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.

Oh, and Eva Green for the Sorceress.

Diora Baird for She Ra


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-01 12:50:20 PM  
John Cena should play Prince Adam, but no one would see him.
 
2017-12-01 01:02:41 PM  
Gal gadot for Skeletor!

She's already got the skeletal look before steroid injections going for her!
 
2017-12-01 01:03:47 PM  
He man will either be The Rock or Chris Helmsworth.  You read it here first
 
2017-12-01 01:06:46 PM  
First off let's change the name 'He-Man' to something a little more gender inclusive like 'Person-Folk'.
 
2017-12-01 01:19:36 PM  

oldfarthenry: First off let's change the name 'He-Man' to something a little more gender inclusive like 'Person-Folk'.


She-Male
 
2017-12-01 01:33:27 PM  

Flappyhead: Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.


I thought her name was Evelyn...

The Death of He-Man | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim
Youtube lMGfENjTFjw
 
2017-12-01 01:33:35 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: He man will either be The Rock or Chris Helmsworth.  You read it here first


Chris Pratt
 
2017-12-01 01:36:36 PM  
Also, several characters will now be in open, same-sex relationships, but thanks to better dialogue and costuming the movie will still be exactly as gay as the show
 
2017-12-01 01:42:46 PM  

olddeegee: Frank Langella WAS Skeletor. Much better movie than I expected when I took my 6 and 7 year old boys to the film.


Ugh. Skeletor was good. I think they blew their entire budget on him because besides Evil Lynn, there weren't any other villains from the show. No Beast Man, no Trap Jaw. And they did the common cost cutting measure  of having everything set in modern day Earth (see also Star Trek 4, one of the Beast Masters).
 
2017-12-01 02:45:37 PM  

Mugato: olddeegee: Frank Langella WAS Skeletor. Much better movie than I expected when I took my 6 and 7 year old boys to the film.

Ugh. Skeletor was good. I think they blew their entire budget on him because besides Evil Lynn, there weren't any other villains from the show. No Beast Man, no Trap Jaw. And they did the common cost cutting measure  of having everything set in modern day Earth (see also Star Trek 4, one of the Beast Masters).


They made the lesser bad guys new characters so they could sell new toys ofthe new characters... problem was, by the time the movie came out, most kids were getting slightly older, and moving on to becoming GI Joe collectors instead.
 
2017-12-01 03:00:35 PM  

turdfergusonn: They made the lesser bad guys new characters so they could sell new toys ofthe new characters... problem was, by the time the movie came out, most kids were getting slightly older, and moving on to becoming GI Joe collectors instead.


I don't remember any new characters or new toys and I was a kid back then. I know they replaced Orco with the old dwarf actor they use in everything because a flying Orco character would have been too expensive or look too fake.

You know, now that I think about it, screw He-Man. Make a Robotech trilogy instead. That's a much better cartoon from my childhood.
 
2017-12-01 03:03:59 PM  

bhcompy: Dark City/HeMan mashup is the reboot everyone needs


He-Man/Thundercats.  Mumra and Skeletor team up.

geekdad.comView Full Size


Or He-Man/Justice League

s3.crackedcdn.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-01 03:04:15 PM  
Oh subby I want it, just not with Goyer. Even if Goyer is a slight step up from McG who had it before. As it is I don't have high hope for it unless they commit to basically going with the 2002 version, or just give it to Taika Waititi since he has made the best live action He-Man I'm probably going to see in my lifetime.
 
2017-12-01 03:50:28 PM  
Sony Pictures

Stopped reading right there.
 
2017-12-01 03:51:28 PM  

Valacirca: Sony Pictures

Stopped reading right there.

Has it been leaked yet?  Anyone got the download?

 
2017-12-01 04:26:30 PM  
1. Swap the gender roles
2.  Make it a slapstick comedy
3.  Profit
 
2017-12-01 04:41:34 PM  

texdent: I wouldn't mind if it was based on the 2002 version.


And they get dolph Lundren to play his father.
 
2017-12-01 04:52:37 PM  
NO MORE REBOOTS!
 
2017-12-01 04:57:29 PM  
This would be a good chance to reboot it as "She-Man" just to mess with people.
 
2017-12-01 05:02:18 PM  

Saborlas: NO MORE REBOOTS!


There's a difference between rebooting a Spider-Man franchise every two years and rebooting a movie from the 80s that sucked in the first place.
 
2017-12-01 05:10:24 PM  

OkieDookie: This would be a good chance to reboot it as "She-Man" just to mess with people.


That would be known as any Divine movie.
 
2017-12-01 05:16:43 PM  
She-man?
 
2017-12-01 05:43:45 PM  

Fano: She-man?


Only if teamed up with Pea-ody.

set the wayback machine to "anywhere but here"
 
2017-12-01 05:47:12 PM  
But they can't just start with he-man and the masters of the universe.  We need to have the origin stories of Orko, man-at-arms and teela before bringing them all together in a movie or we won't know their motivations
 
2017-12-01 05:47:47 PM  

Mugato: olddeegee: Frank Langella WAS Skeletor. Much better movie than I expected when I took my 6 and 7 year old boys to the film.

Ugh. Skeletor was good. I think they blew their entire budget on him because besides Evil Lynn, there weren't any other villains from the show. No Beast Man, no Trap Jaw. And they did the common cost cutting measure  of having everything set in modern day Earth (see also Star Trek 4, one of the Beast Masters).


That's my go to complaint for video game movies and fantasy sequels from the 80s and 90s. "Let's shoot it in a warehouse in LA or the desert nearby!" "They come to our world because the fantasy is REAL, man!"
 
2017-12-01 05:52:24 PM  
I don't know if i 'want' it, but i'd be open minded to check it out.  Couldn't be worse than World of Warcraft.
 
2017-12-01 06:01:13 PM  

T.rex: I don't know if i 'want' it, but i'd be open minded to check it out.  Couldn't be worse than World of Warcraft.


I wonder how much better that movie would have been if they did nothing with humans.  Every non-orc person in that move was the absolute worst.  Meanwhile the orcs were almost unanimously awesome.
 
2017-12-01 06:05:30 PM  
After watching an episode of He-Man on Netflix, and remember the terrible movie,  I think this is the franchise that could be safely give to Uwe Boll.  Honestly, he could not make it worse.
 
2017-12-01 06:52:29 PM  

texdent: I wouldn't mind if it was based on the 2002 version.


I'm 50/50 on that. For years, I thought He-Man/She-Ra would be better off as a property for 4- to 8-year-olds. Some of the underlying premises are a bit silly. But the 2002 version was very solid, and the Krypton scenes at the beginning of Man of Steel showed me a more serious take might work.

Flappyhead: Flappyhead: Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.
Oh, and Eva Green for the Sorceress.


Switch those two. Green's way more fun in villainous roles.

 

Mugato: I don't remember any new characters or new toys and I was a kid back then.


From the movie - Blades, Saurod, and the dwarf Gwildor all had figures in the last series that was produced. I had all three. And the current collectibles range is polling customers to see if more movie figures should be made (just for adult collectors).

And yes - the Century Films He-Man movie had almost the exact same plot as the Beastmaster "sequel."
 
2017-12-01 07:08:42 PM  

clkeagle: Flappyhead: Flappyhead: Anne Hathaway as EviLynn.
Oh, and Eva Green for the Sorceress.

Switch those two. Green's way more fun in villainous roles.


I thought about it but I think it's a little too on the nose.  Give Anne the lithe succubus and let Eva channel her inner cougar.
 
2017-12-01 07:17:07 PM  
Orko is better than Gwildor. Discuss.
 
2017-12-01 07:18:36 PM  
Oh, and the ONLY way this movie works is if they go WAY over-the-top and embrace the 80s cheese. Make it like Thor: Ragnarok, but crazier, and it will be awesome.

Hell, just get Taco Walkie-talkie to direct it. He was awesome.
 
2017-12-01 09:25:23 PM  

Mugato: The one from the 1980s was terrible.


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
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