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(Miami New Times)   Rick Scott's consultant denies humping a mannequin with an ice penis. Who are you going to believe, him or your own eyes?   (miaminewtimes.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Tax, Cooper, Strategic Information Consultants, Florida, taxpayer money Cooper, Barbecue, Florida State University, Grilling  
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3285 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Nov 2017 at 4:10 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



70 Comments     (+0 »)
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2017-11-28 1:33:33 PM  
Who cares?
 
2017-11-28 1:37:50 PM  
My lying eyes aren't as bad as subby made it sound.

From the headline I assumed he was humping an ice sculpture copy of Michelangelo's David.  Which, you know, come on.  Dude's got a shrinkage problem as is.
 
2017-11-28 1:45:03 PM  
Everyone has a camera phone.  If this person is going to get in trouble for this, you are basically indicating that people can't drink in public anymore and people who like to party can never be involved in politics.  I am pretty sure there are over a dozen photos of me out there doing stuff equally as embarrassing.
 
2017-11-28 1:45:41 PM  
It is important to note that technically a mannequin cannot offer consent.
 
2017-11-28 2:06:44 PM  
Hey...it's too soon to talk about raping a mannequin...think of the mannequin families for god sakes!
 
2017-11-28 2:08:27 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-28 2:12:42 PM  
??? "semiprofessional barbecue chef"???
 
2017-11-28 2:13:07 PM  

RJReves: ??? "semiprofessional barbecue chef"???


Translation: Looking for work
 
2017-11-28 3:53:39 PM  
Joshua Cooper, a Tallahassee political consultant paid more than $500,000 by Florida Gov. Rick Scott to dig up dirt on Scott's enemies over the years, swears the photo above was simply a snapshot taken at an unfortunate angle. Cooper is adamant the photo absolutely does not show him holding an ice penis next to a mannequin's groin.

"It is not at all what it looks like," says Cooper, who spends his spare time as a semiprofessional barbecue chef


Sounds like Rick Scott has an after work buddy for private parties.
 
2017-11-28 3:53:46 PM  

mrshowrules: It is important to note that technically a mannequin cannot offer consent.


Looks like she might want to say, "Hey, my eyes are up here!"
 
2017-11-28 4:11:50 PM  
It's exactly what you think.
 
2017-11-28 4:13:00 PM  
Mannequins are being molested hourly.

They can't speak out.

Because they have no mouths.
 
2017-11-28 4:14:03 PM  
I hate Rick Scott and I don't care about this.
 
2017-11-28 4:14:15 PM  

mrshowrules: It is important to note that technically a mannequin cannot offer consent.


Kim Cattrall unavailable for comment.
 
2017-11-28 4:15:15 PM  
Um, angle?

Isn't her little pinky finger in front of the tip of the ice "penis"? And in front of her groin at the same time? How many miles wide is that mannikin? does it rival the Grand Canyon?

This is nothing by locker room antics, minus the violence, the penetration, the rape, the sex and the embarassed, "boy, were we drunk last night" type lies.
 
2017-11-28 4:15:36 PM  
Fox News doubting the validity of the mannequin's claims in 3...2...
 
2017-11-28 4:15:42 PM  
The Frozen fetish folks are getting out of hand.
 
2017-11-28 4:16:07 PM  
Meh, the Orville already did this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHuy4​h​swDTE
 
2017-11-28 4:19:26 PM  
Why would the mannequin have an ice penis in the first place?
 
2017-11-28 4:20:13 PM  
Well, we've all been there.
 
2017-11-28 4:22:49 PM  
I believe him fully that it's an unfortunate camera angle. But even if it weren't, and was exactly what it was purported to be... so?

It is a juvenile and sophomoric joke, so is this:

img.fark.netView Full Size


this matters somehow?
 
2017-11-28 4:23:18 PM  

Mithiwithi: Why would the mannequin have an ice penis in the first place?


Because the mannequin identifies as an ice monster, duh.
 
2017-11-28 4:23:31 PM  

mrshowrules: It is important to note that technically a mannequin cannot offer consent.


The cold never bothered her anyway.
 
2017-11-28 4:26:55 PM  
OK, so he wasn't humping a mannequin with an ice penis. But he never explained why he had a mannequin in the first place. My guess is so he can hump it with his real penis.
 
2017-11-28 4:26:59 PM  

Karac: My lying eyes aren't as bad as subby made it sound.

From the headline I assumed he was humping an ice sculpture copy of Michelangelo's David.  Which, you know, come on.  Dude's got a shrinkage problem as is.


You try controlling shrinkage when you're as terrified as that dude is.
 
2017-11-28 4:27:43 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-28 4:29:32 PM  
Ice Penis - my favorite Norwegian death metal band
 
2017-11-28 4:30:11 PM  
It is deplorable that mannikins are treated objects of sexual gratification.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-28 4:30:16 PM  
Stop apologizing for him.

We know how this will play out. First this mannequin lets the photo leak, then another comes forward, then another, pretty soon we find out he's been banned from every J.C. Penney store in the U.S. because he habitually left cold, wet spots all over their under paid, under appreciated mannequins.

/The logic follows, if R. Scott hired him for anything, anything at all.
//Then his honesty and integrity immediately should be doubted, continually.
 
2017-11-28 4:30:58 PM  
More importantly, wtf is an "ice luge" and what was it doing in Florida?
 
2017-11-28 4:32:41 PM  
"Rick Scott's ice penis"

Sounds like a Fark handle.
 
2017-11-28 4:33:49 PM  

Shocktopus: More importantly, wtf is an "ice luge" and what was it doing in Florida?


A luge made of ice.
Probably a kitschy serving/centerpiece thing.
 
2017-11-28 4:40:17 PM  
At first I didn't believe Subby's claim, so used to the lies and all.....we'll fark me
 
2017-11-28 4:42:48 PM  
He's as cold as ice.
 
2017-11-28 4:44:41 PM  
Probably the opposition is applying the Lyndon Johnson rule, (paraphrased) "I know we can't prove it, I just want to hear him deny it."
 
2017-11-28 4:45:00 PM  
Approves

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-28 4:45:07 PM  
This is stupid.  Rick Scott and his ilk are doing real damage, but people would rather argue about a photograph of someone throwing away a piece of ice because haha it looks like a dick.
 
2017-11-28 4:46:13 PM  
Mannequin Ice Penis is my Grace Jones cover band !
 
2017-11-28 4:47:04 PM  
The article is blocked at work, but I'll assume the man is actually humping a mannequin with an ice penis. Men do childish, immature things every day. I wouldn't get too wound up about it.
/I am extremely childish
 
2017-11-28 4:49:27 PM  
He was throwing the ice slab away. Right onto that sidewalk where people could slip.
and fall.
 
2017-11-28 4:51:20 PM  

LarryDan43: He was throwing the ice slab away. Right onto that sidewalk where people could slip.
and fall.


I always hold my ice like that when I toss it
 
2017-11-28 4:52:01 PM  

emotion_lotion: Mannequin Ice Penis is my Grace Jones cover band !

Grace Jones - Victor should have been a Jazz Musician
Youtube Nh1I-bZcJLQ

I love this song inexplicably, yet it lacks tiger penis and polyurethane.
 
2017-11-28 4:52:14 PM  

DubyaHater: The article is blocked at work, but I'll assume the man is actually humping a mannequin with an ice penis. Men do childish, immature things every day. I wouldn't get too wound up about it.
/I am extremely childish


I can neither confirm nor deny the said act is actually depicted in the image; myspace angles confuse the issue.  Given that he's paid by Rick Scott, I automatically doubt any claim he makes.

You be the judge.  I honestly have no idea what's going on in this image.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-28 4:56:17 PM  
Why would a mannequin have an ice penis?
 
2017-11-28 4:59:08 PM  

trippdogg: Ice Penis - my favorite Norwegian death metal band


All-male Bjork cover band?
 
2017-11-28 5:02:24 PM  
r.fod4.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-28 5:06:22 PM  

RJReves: ??? "semiprofessional barbecue chef"???


"Occasionally makes money as a barbeque chef, but not enough to live on"

Similarly, many minor league baseball teams are semiprofessional. They pay the players, but not enough to monopolize the players time.
 
2017-11-28 5:06:50 PM  

mrparks: Mannequins are being molested hourly.

They can't speak out.

Because they have no mouths.


Well, that doesn't end very well.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-28 5:11:50 PM  
Are there any real women's rights organizations complaining about this? Or is this one of those examples of "no one ACTUALLY cares," but the website gets clicks by pretending someone is upset?
 
2017-11-28 5:12:55 PM  

bronyaur1: Who cares?


Came in to to say exactly that.
 
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