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(WFTV Orlando)   Florida couple's attempt at driving their SUV along the bottom of a canal named Alligator Alley ends predictably   ( wftv.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Florida, Highway Patrol spokesman, 35-year-old Michele Livingston, 42-year-old Kevin Livingston, news outlets, Sunday afternoon crash, left rear tire, Fort Lauderdale, Florida  
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5830 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2017 at 3:50 PM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-27 11:30:46 AM  
I remember when Alligator Alley was scary to drive at night.
 
2017-11-27 12:06:46 PM  
I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.
 
2017-11-27 02:40:44 PM  

AirForceVet: I remember when Alligator Alley was scary to drive at night.


No shiat. We used to drive down to South Beach for spring break, and it's scary day or night. Long stretch of road with no lights and no cell service ( at the time) with everything that crawls, slithers and bites on both sides with four drunks who don't know how to change a tire.
 
2017-11-27 02:53:17 PM  

Mugato: AirForceVet: I remember when Alligator Alley was scary to drive at night.

No shiat. We used to drive down to South Beach for spring break, and it's scary day or night. Long stretch of road with no lights and no cell service ( at the time) with everything that crawls, slithers and bites on both sides with four drunks who don't know how to change a tire.


Sadly, the couple comes from the Tampa area with the accident resulting from a blown tire.
 
2017-11-27 03:39:06 PM  
I got lost once on Baboon Blvd; that was a real nightmare, I tells ya
 
2017-11-27 03:51:21 PM  
The alligator fixes the cable? What a helpful chap.
 
2017-11-27 03:53:42 PM  

kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.


Same.  Not so predictable, I guess.  Also, I didn't realize canals were that deep.
 
2017-11-27 03:55:28 PM  
The road is called alligator alley, not the canal, subtard.
 
2017-11-27 03:56:26 PM  
Wysocky says the tread on the left rear tire separated, causing the driver to lose control. The SUV plunged into a canal that runs parallel to the highway. Good Samaritans tried to rescue the couple but the water is about 40 feet (12 meters) deep.

Doesn't sound like they were attempting anything but making it home. Sounds like they crashed.

I was expecting a funny story about drunk idiots. Instead I get to read about a tragic accident. Not really sure I see the humor in it.
 
2017-11-27 03:57:28 PM  
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2017-11-27 03:59:48 PM  
I don't think the Florida tag is appropriate here.
The tag is not for things that happen to occur in Florida, they are for Florida people being dumbfarks. Which isn't the case here.
They didn't "attempt to drive their SUV along the bottom of a canal". And as others already pointed out, Alligator Alley is the highway.
Headline is an abortion.
 
2017-11-27 04:00:12 PM  
The Tamiami is also a fun drive.
 
2017-11-27 04:00:32 PM  

big pig peaches: Wysocky says the tread on the left rear tire separated, causing the driver to lose control. The SUV plunged into a canal that runs parallel to the highway. Good Samaritans tried to rescue the couple but the water is about 40 feet (12 meters) deep.

Doesn't sound like they were attempting anything but making it home. Sounds like they crashed.

I was expecting a funny story about drunk idiots. Instead I get to read about a tragic accident. Not really sure I see the humor in it.


Let subby have this. It's all he has in his shiatty life.
 
2017-11-27 04:01:04 PM  
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Yo!   Sorry we screwed all ya'all's drive home tonight.   We cleared the highway but you know they have to land that chopper somewhere.    I guess we shoulda visited the Tire store before vacation.

Mom and Dad are suing Ford now.

KTHXBYE
 
2017-11-27 04:04:01 PM  

abhorrent1: The road is called alligator alley, not the canal, subtard.


Took the words right out of my mouth
 
2017-11-27 04:05:03 PM  

SirEattonHogg: [img.fark.net image 777x518]


I completely forgot about that game.
 
2017-11-27 04:10:31 PM  
I live on the East side of SoFlo....my Mom lives on the west side....I have to drive Alligator Alley once a month -- and yes...it sounds insanely awesome...but it's like driving western KS....but with the added fun that you might run into Alligators if your car breaks down.

Yeah -- it ain't much fun -- and there is literally nothing for like, 60- miles past the Miccasuki gas station...but alligators and swamp.
 
2017-11-27 04:18:22 PM  
I guess they can't unleash the gorillas since Florida doesn't have a winter.
 
2017-11-27 04:20:19 PM  

kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.


Actually, everything, deer, panther, alligator, are being eaten by pythons in the Everglades. Not because they're indigenous to the area but because some douchebags bought pythons as pets, got tired of them and dumped them into the Everglades. They multiply like tribbles and now there are thousands of them, destroying the ecosystem.

PAVE THE EVERGLADES

Save what mammals you can and pave the Everglades.
 
2017-11-27 04:20:37 PM  

idrow: kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.

Same.  Not so predictable, I guess.  Also, I didn't realize canals were that deep.


Those drainage canals are.  I dont like that road day or night.

/if you live in south florida you need to carry a center punch.  Its not that rare to hear about someone ending up in a canal.  You never know when you might have to bust out a window to escape your sinking vehicle.
 
2017-11-27 04:28:19 PM  

kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.


Yea and this is just a sad accident, not the result of them doing something stupid like trying to drive along a canal.
 
2017-11-27 04:30:21 PM  
idrow

kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.

Same. Not so predictable, I guess. Also, I didn't realize canals were that deep.


40 feet is about average for the big drainage canals in Florida. Usually they're full of dark water and scary as hell. I know some folks that scramble down the high banks to fish in that mess -- but these days I'd not eat the fish. They often have to keep eyes out for lurking gators and water moccasins in the tall grass. No, actually, always have to keep their eyes out.

Florida, like other states such as Georgia, South Carolina and so on, hate to put up road rails along dangerous stretches. Last time I drove the long, dark Alligator Alley, with those huge canals often on both sides of the road, there were no guard rails. If you crashed, well I guess it was your responsibility to keep from becoming alligator soup down at the bottom of one of those murky water filled canals.

I was driving in Georgia one night heading back to Florida and needed a hotel, so I found a sign and turned onto the road and discovered (1) it was damn hard to see with no street lights, (2) the hotel entrance came and went before I could spot it (3) Georgia drivers are way nastier than Florida ones and (4) I was on the side of a mountain or huge hill, which the road went around and when I started to pull off to let the nasty crowd past, there was about a 50 foot drop right off the edge of the road and no warning or safety railing or anything. I got back on in a helluva hurry and found a driveway to turn around in.

I rode the 20 mile bend in Florida at night decades ago -- and it was a 20 mile road, with miles of swamp land on wither side, no guard rails on the deep canals that bracketed the road, no lights, some bridges for drive ways, few reflectors and poor reflective strips on the road itself. On a rainy night, you were like a blind guy creeping along, hugging the steering wheel so you could peer over your hood and spot bits of the lightly flooded road, or sensing when you started to ride on the shoulder. Any other car approaching you wiped out your night vision for awhile.

Back the, a/c wasn't real predominate in cars, so your windshield fogged, on rainy summer nights, and your defroster only channeled heat up onto the glass to clear the thick mist -- and make you miserably hot in the process.

After I traversed the inky dark, nearly invisible road on a rainy summer night, picked up the welcoming lights of my city, I usually headed for a bar for a nerve calming drink.

Florida drivers are not as nasty as Georgians, but on such nights they just love to put their high beams on, blind everyone around them with things like arc lights and never dim them. Those oversized pickups use landing lights, fog lights and way over powered head lights today -- and the cops ignore them.

But those huge dark water canals, with the assorted dangerous critters lurking in their depths along with hidden snags and root bundles, viscous alligator snapping turtles and now the darn huge snakes like constrictors that real f**king idiots let loose along with the gators themselves and not these little ones either, send a chill down my spine when I think about those nights.

Kind of makes me miss the short lived VW which could float in the water for hours. American cars can't even trap enough air in the roof for a couple of hours.

BTW, we have over macho crooks which, when chased by the cops, have dived into these canals and dark lakes to escape. We find most of the bodies who didn't make it out. Later we find chunks floating away. Some, we don't find at all.
 
2017-11-27 04:31:40 PM  

Mugato: kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.

Actually, everything, deer, panther, alligator, are being eaten by pythons in the Everglades. Not because they're indigenous to the area but because some douchebags bought pythons as pets, got tired of them and dumped them into the Everglades. They multiply like tribbles and now there are thousands of them, destroying the ecosystem.

PAVE THE EVERGLADES

Save what mammals you can and pave the Everglades.


Yeah the everglades used to be Floridas natural drainage and filtration for everything south of Lake Okeechobee.  Then big agriculture and the corps of engineers came in and farked it all up.  Now they are trying to undo some of the damage but it will never really be fixed.

What you said about the pythons is spot on.  Also iguanas.  Those things are as common as mosquitos down there and they fark up the vegetation.  That also started by people dumping their pets.
 
2017-11-27 04:51:29 PM  
I often make the run from Tampa to Key Largo. And my brother thought I was nuts spending so much on new tires.......cause this is what you get with worn out tires.
 
2017-11-27 04:52:20 PM  
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2017-11-27 05:16:11 PM  

Rik01: Florida drivers are not as nasty as Georgians, but on such nights they just love to put their high beams on, blind everyone around them with things like arc lights and never dim them.


That's the truth. One time I was driving to Crawfordville from Tallahassee and everyone had their brights on. I kept turning mine on and off but nobody else ever did. It stressed me out. When I told my friend at my destination he said that's just how it is.
 
2017-11-27 05:19:43 PM  

BeatrixK: I live on the East side of SoFlo....my Mom lives on the west side....I have to drive Alligator Alley once a month -- and yes...it sounds insanely awesome...but it's like driving western KS....but with the added fun that you might run into Alligators if your car breaks down.

Yeah -- it ain't much fun -- and there is literally nothing for like, 60- miles past the Miccasuki gas station...but alligators and swamp.


Serious A for effort spelling the name of the Indian Tribe.
OTOH where else can you find a billiard table flat superhighway that stretches for 60 miles with limited or no access and the only entrances are the toll booths at either end?
Put one guy at one booth, one guy at the other booth and roll the RUF Porsche!  The canal is that deep because that's how deep my Father dug it when he developed Cape Coral.
 
2017-11-27 05:23:35 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: if you live in south florida you need to carry a center punch. Its not that rare to hear about someone ending up in a canal. You never know when you might have to bust out a window to escape your sinking vehicle.


quoted for truth.
When I lived there, I carried two.
A while back, I heard they found some missing person (an old lady) who had driven straight into a retention pond outside of her local Denny's. It took over a year to find her. I imagine, a car doesn't have to be that far under the surface to be hard to see. (shudders)

Anyway, that couple were probably drunk - so there has to be somebody on Fark who will say they got what they deserved, right?
 
2017-11-27 05:33:07 PM  
Some of my family was in the traffic caused by this.  Now they know why.
 
2017-11-27 05:42:18 PM  
Alligator Alley is for pussies.
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2017-11-27 05:53:31 PM  
I think whoever submitted this and whoever greenlit it should be fed to alligators.
 
2017-11-27 06:01:18 PM  
A blowout?  What were they running retreads or with cords showing?  Blowouts are pretty rare anymore.
 
2017-11-27 06:13:15 PM  
The thing that made this a nightmare shutting down this highway during one of the busiest travel days of the year (Returning from Thanksgiving Sunday).   It's not like other places where you can divert to local roads when the highway is out.   There are no other roads....just swamp.

Back when I was a kid, we'd go on summer vacation over the old Alligator Alley.  One lane each way,  no lights,  no barriers between you and the swamp,   insects flying so thick through the air that you needed a special screen on your windshield to catch all their dead splatted corpses....

Fun times.
 
2017-11-27 06:45:36 PM  

Mugato: AirForceVet: I remember when Alligator Alley was scary to drive at night.

No shiat. We used to drive down to South Beach for spring break, and it's scary day or night. Long stretch of road with no lights and no cell service ( at the time) with everything that crawls, slithers and bites on both sides with four drunks who don't know how to change a tire.


Back in the 80s I remember driving the Alley while they were first making it an extension of I-75. Long before cell phones, except the car phones that rich people apparently had, according to Sixteen Candles. Lots of road construction, still a two lane road at that point.

Four 16-year-olds driving to Miami from Fort Myers for a Wham! concert. And the driver (not me) hadn't heard about that whole "check your fluids before a road trip" thing.
 
2017-11-27 07:18:29 PM  
I live in Orlando. I had an accident several years ago where I fell asleep at the wheel at 3am and went right into a shallow watery ditch. I was very, very lucky. Airbags did their job, had some minor bruising. I crawled out of my car (with my laptop and work bag), got on top of it and jumped to the muddy incline and on to the pavement above. Something was hissing at me in the water, but it was so dark I could not see it. I'll never drive sleepy and exhausted again.

Here is a story from a while back that creeps me out. Nobody found these guys for over 8 1/2 months.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/3-bodies​-​found-in-disney-pond/
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2017-11-27 07:32:29 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: idrow: kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.

Same.  Not so predictable, I guess.  Also, I didn't realize canals were that deep.

Those drainage canals are.  I dont like that road day or night.

/if you live in south florida you need to carry a center punch.  Its not that rare to hear about someone ending up in a canal.  You never know when you might have to bust out a window to escape your sinking vehicle.


Welding hammer under the front seat FTW..
 
2017-11-27 07:34:56 PM  
Sounds like some would-be rescuers jumped into the water to help.  Pretty ballsy diving into a gator-infested murky swamp trying to save strangers. Big props to them.
 
2017-11-27 08:19:14 PM  

Mugato: kdawg7736: I don't see a reference to alligators. I thought they later got eaten by them from what the headline suggests.

Actually, everything, deer, panther, alligator, are being eaten by pythons in the Everglades. Not because they're indigenous to the area but because some douchebags bought pythons as pets, got tired of them and dumped them into the Everglades. They multiply like tribbles and now there are thousands of them, destroying the ecosystem.

PAVE THE EVERGLADES

Save what mammals you can and pave the Everglades.


I think Hurricane Andrew blowing down the Miami Serpentarium also had something to do with it.
 
2017-11-27 09:21:39 PM  

EyeHaveRisen: [img.fark.net image 373x278]

Yo!   Sorry we screwed all ya'all's drive home tonight.   We cleared the highway but you know they have to land that chopper somewhere.    I guess we shoulda visited the Tire store before vacation.

Mom and Dad are suing Ford now.

KTHXBYE


I'd give her a ride home in a Ford with proper tires.

/just sayin
 
2017-11-27 10:26:59 PM  

big pig peaches: Wysocky says the tread on the left rear tire separated, causing the driver to lose control. The SUV plunged into a canal that runs parallel to the highway. Good Samaritans tried to rescue the couple but the water is about 40 feet (12 meters) deep.

Doesn't sound like they were attempting anything but making it home. Sounds like they crashed.

I was expecting a funny story about drunk idiots. Instead I get to read about a tragic accident. Not really sure I see the humor in it.


Came here to say this.  Badly done, subby.
 
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