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(AOL)   How many 6-year-olds could you take in a fight? Well, if you want to find out, the Pennsylvania school system is hiring teachers   ( aol.com) divider line
    More: Scary, President Jody Barksdale, Education, Harrisburg school board, Pennsylvania school district, Harrisburg Education Association, Superintendent Sybil Knight-Burney, Downey elementary schools, Amanda Sheaffer  
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5888 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2017 at 12:20 PM (34 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-11-22 11:36:29 AM  
Picture of the students.
telegraph.co.ukView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 11:37:11 AM  
That depends. Are they 6-year-olds of above-average cunning who are able to coordinate and plan their attacks? Or are they more the "duck head and charge" sort of six-year-olds? Also, what, if any, weapons am I allowed to wield? Finally, what's the combat environment? Am I trapped in an open space, or am I able to use terrain/construction to my tactical advantage (doorways used as chokepoints, higher ground, etc.)?
 
2017-11-22 11:40:28 AM  

Pocket Ninja: That depends. Are they 6-year-olds of above-average cunning who are able to coordinate and plan their attacks? Or are they more the "duck head and charge" sort of six-year-olds? Also, what, if any, weapons am I allowed to wield? Finally, what's the combat environment? Am I trapped in an open space, or am I able to use terrain/construction to my tactical advantage (doorways used as chokepoints, higher ground, etc.)?


It's a desert island scenario. They have spears and a conch shell. They refer to you as "the pig".
 
2017-11-22 11:58:14 AM  
I think about this almost every day. I think it'd be a bloodbath. I think I could do a lot of good for PA. I'm not the teacher you want... I'm the teacher you need.
 
2017-11-22 12:02:48 PM  
Step Brothers did it.
 
2017-11-22 12:08:44 PM  
I taught high school in a city with the highest violent crime rate in NY.  There were kids who would go on to be murderers and/or victims.  Crips, Bloods, Latin Kings, and many you haven't heard of.  It was fine.  There were occasional incidents in the schools, but nothing like TFA.  It sounds like poor management.
 
2017-11-22 12:16:00 PM  
I'd dominate the classroom.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:23:15 PM  
I work in a PRTC for ages 6-18. Getting a kick, etc.

/watch out for the teeth
 
2017-11-22 12:24:06 PM  
On your first day teaching, find the biggest, meanest, nastiest 6 year old in the classroom. Walk up and punch him right in the mouth. Establish dominance. That's how you teach in the badlands of PA...
 
2017-11-22 12:24:25 PM  
Kids are a solveable problem, just sock 'em in the stomach they go right down.
 
2017-11-22 12:24:44 PM  
Teachers have had to take the rest of their class into the hallway top protect them during these outbursts," Barksdale said.

Where's a teacher when you need one?
 
2017-11-22 12:25:12 PM  
Hmm...I've been putting off publishing an indie gaming title for lack of original ideas but ripping off PvZ with a Teachers versus First-graders seems too good to pass up. Maybe throw in some Flint, MI lead poisoned zombie kids just for fun?
 
2017-11-22 12:25:17 PM  
Harrisburg? That school is rough. Trust me I know a teacher there that rides my bus in the morning.
 
2017-11-22 12:25:32 PM  
Grab one of the smaller ones by the ankles, swing 'em like a baseball bat.
 
2017-11-22 12:26:48 PM  
This is why you spay and neuter.

/not talking about pets
 
2017-11-22 12:27:21 PM  
I'm not sure - at least 15. The key is to seize the initiative and take the fight to them as soon as they become violent. If you just hang back and wait for them, they'll eventually figure out that two kids on each leg and one on each arm leaves you more or less paralyzed. Charge them, keep it moving and they won't have a chance to organize.

Or so I've heard.
 
2017-11-22 12:27:46 PM  

fragMasterFlash: Hmm...I've been putting off publishing an indie gaming title for lack of original ideas but ripping off PvZ with a Teachers versus First-graders seems too good to pass up. Maybe throw in some Flint, MI lead poisoned zombie kids just for fun?


You need a boss level where the zombies become little girls, and the boss is Roy Moore.
 
2017-11-22 12:29:25 PM  

Pocket Ninja: That depends. Are they 6-year-olds of above-average cunning who are able to coordinate and plan their attacks? Or are they more the "duck head and charge" sort of six-year-olds? Also, what, if any, weapons am I allowed to wield? Finally, what's the combat environment? Am I trapped in an open space, or am I able to use terrain/construction to my tactical advantage (doorways used as chokepoints, higher ground, etc.)?


Just shut up and start swinging.
 
2017-11-22 12:29:42 PM  
Do I have to bring my own weapons?
 
2017-11-22 12:30:45 PM  
Also, how did I never know about THIS movie?   It seems to frame the question subby poses quite well.

http://www.bloodywhisper.com/cooties-​r​eview/
 
2017-11-22 12:30:54 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:32:22 PM  
My wife teaches Kindergarten at a private school dedicated to special needs children, this is just part of their daily routine.
 
2017-11-22 12:33:03 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: I taught high school in a city with the highest violent crime rate in NY.  There were kids who would go on to be murderers and/or victims.  Crips, Bloods, Latin Kings, and many you haven't heard of.  It was fine.  There were occasional incidents in the schools, but nothing like TFA.  It sounds like poor management.


If you have a mass walkout of 45 teachers you either have complete failures of teachers or complete failures of management.  Looking at the US school system the odds are higher than 99% of management fail.  I'm not aware of anyone worse than school administration.

/part of this might be fleeing Harrisburg
//but complete disdain for teachers should happen later even in Harrisburg
///somebody has to be the worst managed school system in the US, and Pennsatucky is typically in the running with Alabama and Mississippi.
 
2017-11-22 12:33:07 PM  

Rip_Rufus: On your first day teaching, find the biggest, meanest, nastiest 6 year old in the classroom. Walk up and punch him right in the mouth. Establish dominance. That's how you teach in the badlands of PA...


I got dropped in to teach a bunch of reprobates (16-18yo) in March.  Day One I said, "Let's play a game.  You tell me either your first OR last name and I tell you the other one" (from memory-I had the class lists beforehand).  Instant cred.
 
2017-11-22 12:34:09 PM  

strathmeyer: Kids are a solveable problem, just sock 'em in the stomach they go right down.


When she's pregnant, i take it
 
2017-11-22 12:34:43 PM  
All of them.

Oh, did you mean at once?
 
2017-11-22 12:37:20 PM  
Charming culture. I just love what this country is becoming.
 
2017-11-22 12:37:40 PM  

Richard Saunders: Grab one of the smaller ones by the ankles, swing 'em like a baseball bat.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:37:41 PM  

This text is now purple: All of them.

Oh, did you mean at once?


Common, eventually you would just collapse from exhaustion. After 20 or 30 thousand.
 
2017-11-22 12:38:43 PM  
If only there were somebody at home who could shape, mold and guide these young minds before they're set loose on elementary school.

If only.
 
2017-11-22 12:39:20 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:39:26 PM  
Are they horse-sized 6 year olds or 6 year old-sized horses?
 
2017-11-22 12:39:56 PM  
I was punched out by Mrs Brown in 1st grade for talking back using the F word. Then when I awoke, I pissed my pants. They sent me to the nurse and the nurse didn't have any spare boy's underwear in stock so she gave me a pair of girls panties to wear the rest of the day.

I wore them home and not thinking, put them in my dirty clothes hamper.

Mom came around to do the laundry and noticed them in the wash. "Odd, were did these panties come from?." She thought.

When she questioned me about how I was in possession of a pair of panties, I quickly responded that I had a girl friend in class and we traded panties. There was no way I was going to let her know a 62 year old frail teacher KO'd me and I pissed my pants.
 
2017-11-22 12:40:00 PM  

Rip_Rufus: On your first day teaching, find the biggest, meanest, nastiest 6 year old in the classroom. Walk up and punch him right in the mouth. Establish dominance. That's how you teach in the badlands of PA...


You gotta pee on him when he's down, too.  If you think your peener is small, turn your back on the class when you do it.  Or so I've heard.  If you're confident about your peener size, let the class see you doing it.  Wave it around.  Maybe teabag the future douche.  Or so I've heard.

Harry's Mom:  Why are you covered in urine?
Harry:  That's what you get for holding me back a year, mom.
 
2017-11-22 12:40:09 PM  
Anyone blame bad parenting yet?

Make the parents accountable for the kids actions.
 
2017-11-22 12:40:18 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: Rip_Rufus: On your first day teaching, find the biggest, meanest, nastiest 6 year old in the classroom. Walk up and punch him right in the mouth. Establish dominance. That's how you teach in the badlands of PA...

I got dropped in to teach a bunch of reprobates (16-18yo) in March.  Day One I said, "Let's play a game.  You tell me either your first OR last name and I tell you the other one" (from memory-I had the class lists beforehand).  Instant cred.


....Masseth
 
2017-11-22 12:40:33 PM  

RJReves: Pocket Ninja: That depends. Are they 6-year-olds of above-average cunning who are able to coordinate and plan their attacks? Or are they more the "duck head and charge" sort of six-year-olds? Also, what, if any, weapons am I allowed to wield? Finally, what's the combat environment? Am I trapped in an open space, or am I able to use terrain/construction to my tactical advantage (doorways used as chokepoints, higher ground, etc.)?

It's a desert island scenario. They have spears and a conch shell. They refer to you as "the pig".


In this scenario I think I could take 4 or 5. But they might get lucky and stick me good first.

If they were unarmed, but proper savage (e.g. biters), probably 10 to 15.

If there were like the 6 year olds at my kids school I think 20 or 30. Eventually sheer weight would would bring me down.
 
2017-11-22 12:40:37 PM  

Bowen: I'm not sure - at least 15. The key is to seize the initiative and take the fight to them as soon as they become violent. If you just hang back and wait for them, they'll eventually figure out that two kids on each leg and one on each arm leaves you more or less paralyzed. Charge them, keep it moving and they won't have a chance to organize.

Or so I've heard.


demoralize the mob by taking out the biggest meanest kid right off the bat the little ones will think twice and then you can take out the next set of kids who think they are heroes, maybe they watched a little too much PJ Masks. A quick smash to the bridge of the nose or a swift boot to the sternum will take them out. The ones you gotta watch out for are the kids who grew up on Calliou, they will stab you, they will bite you they will swarm you en mass once blood is in the water, little dead eyes staring blankly as they tear you to pieces.  If you got a room of Calliou, you better have a weapon.
 
2017-11-22 12:41:49 PM  

steklo: I was punched out by Mrs Brown in 1st grade for talking back using the F word. Then when I awoke, I pissed my pants. They sent me to the nurse and the nurse didn't have any spare boy's underwear in stock so she gave me a pair of girls panties to wear the rest of the day.

I wore them home and not thinking, put them in my dirty clothes hamper.

Mom came around to do the laundry and noticed them in the wash. "Odd, were did these panties come from?." She thought.

When she questioned me about how I was in possession of a pair of panties, I quickly responded that I had a girl friend in class and we traded panties. There was no way I was going to let her know a 62 year old frail teacher KO'd me and I pissed my pants.


Nice try; I know an episode of Leave it to Beaver when I see one.
 
2017-11-22 12:42:03 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

As luck would have it, these guys are looking for jobs.
 
2017-11-22 12:43:23 PM  
Also the author of that article is a graduate of that school system. I have seen some pretty bad stories, but the level of typos in the text is pretty epic.

/Hello pot, I am kettle.... you bastard!
 
2017-11-22 12:43:24 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Rip_Rufus: On your first day teaching, find the biggest, meanest, nastiest 6 year old in the classroom. Walk up and punch him right in the mouth. Establish dominance. That's how you teach in the badlands of PA...

You gotta pee on him when he's down, too.  If you think your peener is small, turn your back on the class when you do it.  Or so I've heard.  If you're confident about your peener size, let the class see you doing it.  Wave it around.  Maybe teabag the future douche.  Or so I've heard.

Harry's Mom:  Why are you covered in urine?
Harry:  That's what you get for holding me back a year, mom.


img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:44:07 PM  
I think the main limiting factor is going to be fatigue. Personally, I'd go with a light weight wooden staff about four feet long. Quick jab to the nose and its on to the next one.
 
2017-11-22 12:44:26 PM  
nzbmovieseeker.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:45:11 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: Rip_Rufus: On your first day teaching, find the biggest, meanest, nastiest 6 year old in the classroom. Walk up and punch him right in the mouth. Establish dominance. That's how you teach in the badlands of PA...

I got dropped in to teach a bunch of reprobates (16-18yo) in March.  Day One I said, "Let's play a game.  You tell me either your first OR last name and I tell you the other one" (from memory-I had the class lists beforehand).  Instant cred.


Teacher respect!    *fistbump*
 
2017-11-22 12:48:26 PM  
Why are there no videos of the little bastards running wild?  A little documentation for the authorities and the parents would be helpful.
 
2017-11-22 12:48:39 PM  
Check them for tasers before class starts
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:49:18 PM  
i40.tinypic.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 12:49:48 PM  
Er, oops. Maybe NSFW if you hate art.

(Sorry.)
 
2017-11-22 12:50:58 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: [i40.tinypic.com image 768x1024][View Full Size image _x_]


3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
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