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(FOX6Now)   Pennsylvania man accused of beating his roommate to death over stolen beer told investigators he confronted his 58-year-old roommate about the Keystone Ice and fought with him, then left him lying on the floor and went to bed   ( fox6now.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Pennsylvania, 35-year-old Justin Vankirk, Jury, Lawyer, roommate Charles Parker, Court, Parker multiple times, Keystone  
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2946 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2017 at 2:20 PM (30 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-11-21 09:11:11 AM  
I wonder how long it took them to determine it wasn't the Keystone Ice that killed him.
 
2017-11-21 09:38:48 AM  
Keystone Ice isn't worth dying over....isn't worth drinking either, but that's another story.
 
2017-11-21 10:16:59 AM  
That would be one shiatty epitaph:  Killed after stealing Keystone Ice.
 
2017-11-21 12:34:12 PM  
Please don't be my hometown, please don't be my hometown...

*Checks article* Whew, dodged a bullet.
 
2017-11-21 02:07:47 PM  
clever headline.
 
2017-11-21 02:21:43 PM  
If it was over Cantillon or Utopias, I could understand, but Keystone Ice?  WTF?!
 
2017-11-21 02:21:55 PM  
Victim: Keith Stone
Perpetrator: The most INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD
 
2017-11-21 02:22:33 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-21 02:23:09 PM  
"I'd kill for a beer right about now..."
 
2017-11-21 02:23:31 PM  
No one over the age of 20 should be drinking Keystone Ice.
 
2017-11-21 02:25:05 PM  
Stealing Keystone Light. That's some weapons grade desperation right there.
 
2017-11-21 02:25:17 PM  
Maybe he died of shame.
 
2017-11-21 02:25:25 PM  
Keystone Ice? Really? That stuff is awful.
 
2017-11-21 02:26:25 PM  
It's not that life is cheap in their culture, it's that you'd rather murder someone and sit in jail for the rest of your life than let someone drink your water
 
2017-11-21 02:26:40 PM  
CSB:
One summer, in between college semesters, my buddy and I went out to get beer. We weren't 21 yet. He had a fake ID but had been having trouble using it lately. Anyway, his older friend calls him and says he has a case of beer he wants to get rid of. So we drive to his house and he gives us a case of Keystone. We took a look at it and then politely refused to take it. We ended up finally finding a place that accepted his fake ID and got real beer. That's right. Underage and looking for beer and we still didn't take free Keystone. One of my proudest moments.
 
2017-11-21 02:29:35 PM  
Did they call the Keystone Cops?
 
2017-11-21 02:31:09 PM  
Parker's fatal head injury could have come from falling down while drunk, something she alleged he had a history of doing.


How he could possibly get drunk from Keystone Ice is beyond my comprehension.

Like coors light.  (water and ass)
 
2017-11-21 02:32:09 PM  
Well, it is the Keystone State. They take that crap seriously.
 
2017-11-21 02:33:06 PM  

EyeHaveRisen: Parker's fatal head injury could have come from falling down while drunk, something she alleged he had a history of doing.


How he could possibly get drunk from Keystone Ice is beyond my comprehension.

Like coors light.  (water and ass)


Water and Ass is the name of my two-man Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band.
 
2017-11-21 02:34:52 PM  

EyeHaveRisen: Parker's fatal head injury could have come from falling down while drunk, something she alleged he had a history of doing.


How he could possibly get drunk from Keystone Ice is beyond my comprehension.

Like coors light.  (water and ass)


The reason real, serious alcoholics drink ice beer is because it's 6% but you can still drink a case. Every last drink till you die alcoholic I've known drinks Natty ice, Icehouse or Key ice.

/The more you know
 
2017-11-21 02:35:07 PM  
Keystone iced.
 
2017-11-21 02:35:26 PM  
Keystone Ice is 5.9 ABV. but more importantly no Hero tag?
 
2017-11-21 02:35:51 PM  

KodosZardoz: CSB:
One summer, in between college semesters, my buddy and I went out to get beer. We weren't 21 yet. He had a fake ID but had been having trouble using it lately. Anyway, his older friend calls him and says he has a case of beer he wants to get rid of. So we drive to his house and he gives us a case of Keystone. We took a look at it and then politely refused to take it. We ended up finally finding a place that accepted his fake ID and got real beer. That's right. Underage and looking for beer and we still didn't take free Keystone. One of my proudest moments.


There's an aisle seat with your name on it.
 
2017-11-21 02:36:03 PM  

KodosZardoz: He had a fake ID

i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-21 02:36:23 PM  

The_Sponge: If it was over Cantillon or Utopias, I could understand, but Keystone Ice?  WTF?!


I expected people form PA in this thread saying it would be totally understandable for Yuengling.
/because they have a bizarrely fanatical devotion to a mediocre beer
 
2017-11-21 02:36:44 PM  
What's his Fark handle?
 
2017-11-21 02:37:27 PM  
Keystone light? The ONE beer that makes Coors look like a craft beer masterpiece.
 
2017-11-21 02:37:31 PM  
Heh. Reminds me of my grandpa and uncle. Both were drunks and lived together to make bills easier so both could stay shiatfaced all the time. One night they got into an argument over my grandpa drinking the last of the beer and my uncle stabbed him. Grandpa lived, but both died not long after that from alcohol related illnesses.

Why yes, I am from the south. Why do you ask?

/I never drink because of their example. I can count the number of drinks I've had in my lifetime on one hand.
 
2017-11-21 02:38:25 PM  
 Stop trying to earn us a Pennsylvania tag farkers, that honor needs to go To Texas at least.
 
2017-11-21 02:39:30 PM  

dirkfunk: Every last drink till you die alcoholic I've known drinks Natty ice, Icehouse or Key ice.


huh. I'd have though cheap vodak was less money per unit of alcohol. And it's less filling!
 
2017-11-21 02:42:04 PM  
You steal another man's property, you gotta pay the price. He probably should have just shot the guy and claimed self-defense.
 
2017-11-21 02:42:11 PM  

daffy: Maybe he died of shame.


58, living with a roommate, and you've been stealing Keystone Light.  Yeah that's pretty sad.
 
2017-11-21 02:44:30 PM  
....just to watch him die.
 
2017-11-21 02:45:49 PM  
Keith Stone KeyStone Beer Commercial 2010.mpg
Youtube 7tzc-dB8Xuk
 
2017-11-21 02:46:09 PM  

patrick767: dirkfunk: Every last drink till you die alcoholic I've known drinks Natty ice, Icehouse or Key ice.

huh. I'd have though cheap vodak was less money per unit of alcohol. And it's less filling!


That too. But I think it's mentally easier to come home and start pounding beers after work. Vodka will leave you hungry. Ice beer is just filling enough that you can skip dinner and just drink beer.

/Save the vodka for morning when the shakes set in
 
2017-11-21 02:49:48 PM  

Esroc: /I never drink because of their example. I can count the number of drinks I've had in my lifetime on one hand.

img.fark.netView Full Size

 
2017-11-21 02:49:52 PM  
A list of things Keystone Ice is not worth:

1) drinking
2) buying
3) killing
4) dying
 
2017-11-21 02:51:06 PM  
Still a better love story than Iron City 12 oz cans.
 
2017-11-21 02:51:16 PM  
Well, Keystone Light was actually a favorite of mine during and even after college for a good while. So long as it was cold, very, very cold. Once it got anywhere above "really cold", though, I'd have to pour it out because you could actually taste it at that point.
 
2017-11-21 02:52:00 PM  
Im wondering if anyone in this thread believes, as I do, that Keystone beer isn't of the highest quality, and that there are many other options that, although violence cannot be condoned, would be much more worthy of fisticuffs.  Anyone at all?
 
2017-11-21 02:53:55 PM  
Keystone Ice? Fark that shiat! Pabst Blue Ribbon!
 
2017-11-21 02:58:20 PM  

EyeHaveRisen: Parker's fatal head injury could have come from falling down while drunk, something she alleged he had a history of doing.


How he could possibly get drunk from Keystone Ice is beyond my comprehension.

Like coors light.  (water and ass)


Keystone ice is like 6%, it'll get you drunk faster than normal mass market beer.
 
2017-11-21 03:00:11 PM  

Walker: Keystone Ice isn't worth dying over....isn't worth drinking either, but that's another story.


Justin Vankirk seems to like beer and isn't too picky about what goes past his lips.

img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size



What sort of 35 year old has a 58 year old roommate (who isn't a relative)? Or were they more than just friends? Anyway, RIP Charles Parker.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-21 03:01:22 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

It may have been Keystone Light, but he's sure making a bitter beer face now.
 
2017-11-21 03:02:03 PM  
If you steal somebody's Bud Ice, that penguin will kill you in your sleep.

img.fark.netView Full Size


/Doobie doobie doo.....
 
2017-11-21 03:04:39 PM  

KodosZardoz: CSB:
One summer, in between college semesters, my buddy and I went out to get beer. We weren't 21 yet. He had a fake ID but had been having trouble using it lately. Anyway, his older friend calls him and says he has a case of beer he wants to get rid of. So we drive to his house and he gives us a case of Keystone. We took a look at it and then politely refused to take it. We ended up finally finding a place that accepted his fake ID and got real beer. That's right. Underage and looking for beer and we still didn't take free Keystone. One of my proudest moments.



I am not a fan of Keystone, and I cannot remember the last time I had one, but......

When I was under 21 in college, I would have gladly taken the Keystone.

/Had a brief streak in college where I only bought Natty Light.
 
2017-11-21 03:07:15 PM  

Esroc: Heh. Reminds me of my grandpa and uncle. Both were drunks and lived together to make bills easier so both could stay shiatfaced all the time. One night they got into an argument over my grandpa drinking the last of the beer and my uncle stabbed him. Grandpa lived, but both died not long after that from alcohol related illnesses.

Why yes, I am from the south. Why do you ask?

/I never drink because of their example. I can count the number of drinks I've had in my lifetime on one hand.


Good for you.   I bet the sugar will get you.   Sweet Tea and Cake,  right?
 
2017-11-21 03:07:20 PM  

Giant Clown Shoe: clever headline.


OhYou.jpg
 
2017-11-21 03:10:02 PM  
Damn! I thought that killing 2.25 people over hair weaves was bad, but that's no where near "beating your friend to death over a beer" bad. Hey Justin, if there was ever a sign that you might need to stop drinking...


LewDux: It's not that life is cheap in their culture, it's that you'd rather murder someone and sit in jail for the rest of your life than let someone drink your water


Nicely done, BTW.
 
2017-11-21 03:15:34 PM  
Pennsyltucky warrior code, you wouldn't understand
 
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