If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Deadspin)   Will Jerry get 17 owners to vote on holding a secret ballot? Would 24 owners then pass the ballot? Will 32 owners need to approve Roger's contract? Will Roger get his plane? These questions and more, next time on "Soap"   ( deadspin.com) divider line
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

605 clicks; posted to Sports » on 21 Nov 2017 at 5:20 PM (34 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



16 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-21 01:36:27 PM  
images.uncyclomedia.coView Full Size
 
2017-11-21 02:30:10 PM  
At this point, if the NFL closed up shop today, I really would not give a shiat. Between the CTE fact-hiding and the mouth-breathing idiots that think NFL players kneeling for the national anthem is the worst thing ever, I'm ready to call it a day.

And the Chicago Bears suck and will continue to suck for a while certainly doesn't help.
 
2017-11-21 05:29:25 PM  
The thing that gets me the most about the contract demands isnt the money or private plane; its the demand for permanent health insurance for him and his family for life. This is a guy that has already made tens, if not hundreds of millions of dollars and is demanding a $50 million / year salary on this extension. Surely he can afford to pay for health insurance after he's out as commissioner? If that much money isnt enough to guarantee a high quality of life for his remaining years, how farked are the rest of us? Either this guy knows something about the future of health insurance the rest of us dont, or this demand represents a disconnect between himself and everyone else that is the size of the Grand Canyon. It just really strikes me as an odd demand for someone of his position and means.
 
2017-11-21 05:31:29 PM  
Worse case scenario: motion doesn't pass, Goodell gets new contract, Jerry fumes for a few weeks, then things go back to normal.

Best case scenario: Goodell's contract not renewed, then owners use this as excuse to toss him and Jones out on their collective asses.

Impossible Fark case scenario: Same as above, only Spanos, Irsay, Snyder, and Haslam are also dropped and thrown to the torch and pitchfork mob as well.

Uber Super Wet Dream scenario: NFLPA pull a Bastille Day, charges into the offices, put everyone to the guillotine, and make Jim Brown acting Football Czar.
 
2017-11-21 05:51:09 PM  

Lando Lincoln: At this point, if the NFL closed up shop today, I really would not give a shiat. Between the CTE fact-hiding and the mouth-breathing idiots that think NFL players kneeling for the national anthem is the worst thing ever, I'm ready to call it a day.

And the Chicago Bears suck and will continue to suck for a while certainly doesn't help.


Well they shouldn't have kicked that guy with the goat out of Solider Field.
 
2017-11-21 07:00:30 PM  

rjakobi: Worse case scenario: motion doesn't pass, Goodell gets new contract, Jerry fumes for a few weeks, then things go back to normal.

Best case scenario: Goodell's contract not renewed, then owners use this as excuse to toss him and Jones out on their collective asses.

Impossible Fark case scenario: Same as above, only Spanos, Irsay, Snyder, and Haslam are also dropped and thrown to the torch and pitchfork mob as well.

Uber Super Wet Dream scenario: NFLPA pull a Bastille Day, charges into the offices, put everyone to the guillotine, and make Jim Brown acting Football Czar.


If the building collapsed while they are holding the vote, is anything of value lost?
 
2017-11-21 08:43:06 PM  
Is Jerruh Jones inhabited by the restless spirit of Al Davis?
 
2017-11-21 09:23:48 PM  

Dick Gozinya: Either this guy knows something about the future of health insurance the rest of us dont,


Oh I think we all know, we just don't want to think about it.
 
2017-11-22 02:26:51 AM  
Secret ballot to remove his franchise from the league if he doesn't sell?
 
2017-11-22 04:01:38 AM  
soaparchive.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-22 04:08:23 AM  
As a Cowboys fan, I could give half of a pan-fried shiat if Jerruh gets bounced from the league. He's a withered old dickhole.

But also as a lifelong Cowboys fan, what he has done to market the franchise's brand and make it hugely profitable and crowd pleasing is incredibly impressive.

He's got Mutt and Jeff ready to take it over when he's out, so I expect more of the same.
 
2017-11-22 08:01:18 AM  

lakrfool: He's got Mutt and Jeff ready to take it over when he's out, so I expect more of the same.


Hopefully they hire a GM and try to just be brand managers

Jerry got lucky that Jimmy and Phil basically drafted the players they wanted and let him look like he was in charge.

If his ego took over we would have a team of Ricky Williams and Johnny football
 
2017-11-22 09:54:42 AM  
This and many articles involving powerful old fogeys brings up a question I've had since about the time I graduated college.  Who sends "letters" anymore?  The league and Jerruah are sending letters back and forth.  Congresspeople are reported everyday to send "letters" about some nominee, a bill to support, or some complaint their constituents have. Is someone really paying a low level staffer to print off their words, address & lick a stamp and stick something in the mailbox?  Are they paying someone to e-mail and some old fart copy editor changes it to "letter"?
 
2017-11-22 09:59:03 AM  

jayphat: If the building collapsed while they are holding the vote, is anything of value lost?


Well, the building for one.
 
2017-11-22 10:12:13 AM  
Letters are sent all the time, especially in legal matters. Its called a "paper trail" and it's one of the best form of evidence you can have in any legal matter. That way, when the NFL sues Jerry to remove him from ownership of the team, he can't say "but you guys didn't tell me to knock it off." There's a paper trail of letters (usually certified letters requiring a signature from the recepient or their duly appointed representative, ie:lawyer) showing that yes, he was in fact, told to knock it off.

To answer your second question, yes, there is a low level staffer in law offices that handles actually sending out those letters. Its usually a first or second year law student that is "clerking" for the firm; basically an internship where they do menial shiat for big shot lawyers and in the process hope to learn a thing or two about how law works in the real world.
 
2017-11-22 02:42:09 PM  
I wouldn't care if the NFL folded at this point, they're almost all a bunch of arrogant, spoiled pansies. Goodell is an a$$clown and while Jerral is a good(But stupid) owner, he's a cruddy GM that likes to see his surgically altered face on TV every chance he gets.

He was sooo jealous of Jimmy Johnson back in the day getting so much attention for the team's success and thinks he's some kind of wheeler dealer because he hit on some good players after screwing the Vikings with the Herschel Walker trade. Four or five players that made some real contributions and six draft picks which helped create that "dynasty". Most of the Dallas fans I know are waiting for him to DIAF though.

Jerrah is a hell of a marketing/con man though. The crafty SOB could sell ice to an eskimo.
 
Displayed 16 of 16 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report