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(KING 5 News)   How to cook Thanksgiving dinner in a microwave. Step one: abandon all pretense of shame or dignity   ( king5.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Garlic, microwave safe bowl, Yukon Gold potato, dash pepper, Yukon Gold Potatoes, Cooking, Butter, Dash poultry seasoning  
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2294 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2017 at 10:28 PM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-11-20 05:54:39 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

/no shame
 
2017-11-20 06:50:47 PM  
I still remember the year my folks thought that getting a "thanksgiving box" of groceries from the grocery store in town meant they got it already cooked, and only had a microwave and stove top and a frozen bird.

my family is interesting. far away this year, and interesting.

/got nuthin
//but painful memories
///and lonliness
 
2017-11-20 07:03:41 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


If you're feeling really ambitious. Though I don't know how those legs don't get way overcooked.
 
2017-11-20 07:53:34 PM  

fusillade762: [img.fark.net image 700x440]

If you're feeling really ambitious. Though I don't know how those legs don't get way overcooked.


Assemble it cooked, perhaps?

Also, if you showed up to my house with this, I would write you into my will. On the spot.
 
2017-11-20 07:57:10 PM  
Step one:

img.fark.netView Full Size


Step two:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 09:24:57 PM  

Erma Gerdd: [img.fark.net image 425x425][View Full Size image _x_]
/no shame


My least favorite (major) holiday. I'd be happy AF throwing one of them in the microwave and not going to my in-laws.
 
2017-11-20 09:52:49 PM  
In the news clip's defense, they are talking about Thanksgiving for Houstonian's who no longer have an oven due to the recent flooding.
 
2017-11-20 10:31:54 PM  

Erma Gerdd: [img.fark.net image 425x425][View Full Size image _x_]
/no shame


img.fark.netView Full Size


it's thanksgiving, treat yourself
 
2017-11-20 10:34:03 PM  
People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.
 
2017-11-20 10:37:29 PM  
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size


Saddest. Book. Ever.
 
2017-11-20 10:38:55 PM  
Who needs a microwave? I have my dishwasher for cooking dinner, and then I'll use my dishwasher to wash the dinner dishes. Brilliant!!
 
2017-11-20 10:41:29 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


We do that at Christmas. Last year, people brought desserts and such, but for the main course, we just fried up some chicken, made some potatoes, gravy, corn, and biscuits, and we were all set.
It's a much more enjoyable time when folks aren't having to spend half the day in the kitchen.
 
2017-11-20 10:44:40 PM  

stoli n coke: omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.

We do that at Christmas. Last year, people brought desserts and such, but for the main course, we just fried up some chicken, made some potatoes, gravy, corn, and biscuits, and we were all set.
It's a much more enjoyable time when folks aren't having to spend half the day in the kitchen.


Agreed, simple is better. The best wedding I ever went to was a jeans and polo shirt ceremony in a public park with the reception in a back yard. Parties and holidays are always more fun when you can focus on the people as opposed to the logistics.
 
2017-11-20 10:47:16 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: Erma Gerdd: [img.fark.net image 425x425][View Full Size image _x_]
/no shame

[img.fark.net image 522x391][View Full Size image _x_]

it's thanksgiving, treat yourself


"Over one pound of food"

That's reassuring.
 
2017-11-20 10:48:08 PM  
Time for a peanut butter and cranberry jelly sammich.
 
2017-11-20 10:48:10 PM  
FTA:
Directions
Remove the skin.

You go right to hell King5.com
 
2017-11-20 10:53:45 PM  

SkittleBrau: Who needs a microwave? I have my dishwasher for cooking dinner, and then I'll use my dishwasher to wash the dinner dishes. Brilliant!!


If you sous vide a turkey in your dishwasher for thanksgiving I'll have nothing but nice and hilarious things to say at your funeral.

/nice and hilarious may be mutually exclusive
//YMMV
///funny idea mate
 
2017-11-20 10:56:54 PM  
1970s Campbell's Manhandlers Soup Commercial
Youtube KyU--Tb-MO4
 
2017-11-20 10:59:35 PM  
Hottie cooks a chicken
Youtube 35mbdGoH2lQ
 
2017-11-20 11:00:47 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


Grill the turkey. Put a tin foil pan under the bird w/ the coals around it (indirect) and it takes barely 10 minutes per pound. Skin is smoky, mustard brown and beautiful, crispy and flavorful, and the meat is still juicy and great. It's actually better to grill a turkey than grilling burgers (burgers should be on a griddle or cast iron flat pan, for various reasons). And since I got to hang out w/ Grandma almost all day on Thanksgiving (sometimes I actually helped!) the cooking ritual was way more fun and memorable than watching my dad and grandfather argue politics. The older the get, the more I enjoy making Thanksgiving dinner versus figuring out who got what gift for Christmas which year.
 
2017-11-20 11:01:34 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: [images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 313x474][View Full Size image _x_]

Saddest. Book. Ever.


Came to post if it hadn't been already, good job. =3
 
2017-11-20 11:02:06 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: [images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 313x474][View Full Size image _x_]

Saddest. Book. Ever.


I have this one, slightly less sad.

Link
 
2017-11-20 11:05:03 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 11:06:15 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


How can this be a problem? Set the roaster to 325F, stick the bird in, sprinkle with dried onion soup mix, remove at 15xweight in pounds minutes.  Simple as cooking a burger.
 
2017-11-20 11:06:26 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends.


This is why they put the effort into the food.
 
2017-11-20 11:07:48 PM  

Boo_Guy: Danger Avoid Death: [images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 313x474][View Full Size image _x_]

Saddest. Book. Ever.

Came to post if it hadn't been already, good job. =3


I actually found a copy of this in my grandma's stuff when I went down to the OC to clean out her place after she died. It was in a box of stuff that hadn't seen daylight since the 80's, so she hadn't really been using it. Still, I showed it to my mom and sister and we had a good laugh, mostly because the woman on the cover looks enough like my grandma at that age to have been her sister.
 
2017-11-20 11:08:21 PM  

natazha: omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.

How can this be a problem? Set the roaster to 325F, stick the bird in, sprinkle with dried onion soup mix, remove at 15xweight in pounds minutes.  Simple as cooking a burger.


Sounds like you're volunteering to host this year!
 
2017-11-20 11:11:38 PM  

John Buck 41: Erma Gerdd: [img.fark.net image 425x425][View Full Size image _x_]
/no shame

My least favorite (major) holiday. I'd be happy AF throwing one of them in the microwave and not going to my in-laws.


Why would you only throw ONE of your in-laws into the microwave? How do you choose?
 
2017-11-20 11:12:17 PM  
I moved to Portland nearly 12 years ago, and have no family and basically no friends.  Holidays have always felt weird. I just eat my normal food, and miraculously don't gain weight over the next 6 weeks. Thank god I don't need "eatin' pants."
 
2017-11-20 11:16:04 PM  

Harry_Seldon: I moved to Portland nearly 12 years ago, and have no family and basically no friends.  Holidays have always felt weird. I just eat my normal food, and miraculously don't gain weight over the next 6 weeks. Thank god I don't need "eatin' pants."


if you're ever in bay area around the holidays,you're welcome at our house.  we can loan you big pants.

/we're a big pants family!
//r.i.p. Kevin Meaney
 
2017-11-20 11:16:10 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


Smarted many times if I could. Would rather have cheeseburgers and hot dogs than cheap-ass dried out turkey any day.
 
2017-11-20 11:17:43 PM  
Yeah, y'all laugh but this is the hell that is my Thanksgiving.

Years ago the mother in law came to the conclusion that it was all too much just to do it on Thanksgiving day so as a result every day she makes one of the dishes and freezes it.  Yesterday was probably squash.  Today was mashed potatoes.  Tomorrow maybe sweet potatoes.

Past years I've spent the holiday half tanked watching TV or out fishing or doing something...anything to take my mind off of it.  The in-laws have the taste buds for which tapioca is too spicy so you can imagine what it's all like.....reheated.
 
2017-11-20 11:17:57 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


That sounds like a nightmare, and I love to grill. Doing it your way, I could be stuck flipping burgers in the freezing rain while everyone complains that they didn't get the one thing you're guaranteed to get at a Turkey Day get together. Just grill the turkey. Use a wireless thermometer to keep track of air and bird temps from the nice warm inside and give the people what they want.
 
2017-11-20 11:22:39 PM  
It's just me and my mom for Thanksgiving, since my sister's family moved to Vermont. I end up doing a lot of the cooking. This year it's going to be center-cut tenderloin steaks cooked sous vide.
 
2017-11-20 11:27:51 PM  

Pinner: [Youtube KyU--Tb-MO4 image 480x360][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KyU--Tb-​MO4]


I have a hard time believing that got approval by marketing. Green jizz with little chunks? I'd expect a green pea soup to be a green pea slurry that still contains some peas and the ham will be dimensional.
 
2017-11-20 11:28:25 PM  
For the past 25 years, I've wanted to assume a major family holiday but always though I'd have to have earn the title "great" (great grandma/great aunt) first.  Well, I've finally wrested this one away from the clutches of older generations and I didn't even have to use a hired hit man!  They're all coming here and I figure if I can pull off an awesome Thanksgiving, maybe they'll all come back again and it will be my permanent official holiday.

/I like cooking.  Hubby is making wheat rolls and I'm doing appetizers, a 23 pound turkey, sweet potatoes, green beans, stuffing, sautéed mushrooms, corn casserole, cranberry sauce, whipped cream, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, chocolate pie, and apple pie.  My family likes pie.
 
2017-11-20 11:31:08 PM  
Because everyone knows microwaves cause cancer and throw your chakras way out of your ley lines

/flucking hippies
 
2017-11-20 11:32:58 PM  

wildcardjack: Pinner: [Youtube KyU--Tb-MO4 image 480x360][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KyU--Tb-​MO4]

I have a hard time believing that got approval by marketing. Green jizz with little chunks? I'd expect a green pea soup to be a green pea slurry that still contains some peas and the ham will be dimensional.


Before they came out with Chunky Soup, that was all they had, man. No Progresso, no Chunky, none of the other stuff. You wanted canned soup, Campbell's condensed was what you got. I'm old enough to remember that the Manhandler's line was a small step above the norm.
 
2017-11-20 11:33:58 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


In my 20's my friends I did a Thanksgrilling Party a few times.

It involved grilling (and deep frying) food in our backyard.  It was easy, delicious, and everyone seemed to have a great time.

I may revive it this year.
 
2017-11-20 11:36:00 PM  
Worked many a T-days. Get to a Subway early enough, get the foot long turkey and boom! . . . Tday meal latter on that night on your break.
 
2017-11-20 11:37:01 PM  

Harry_Seldon: I moved to Portland nearly 12 years ago, and have no family and basically no friends.  Holidays have always felt weird. I just eat my normal food, and miraculously don't gain weight over the next 6 weeks. Thank god I don't need "eatin' pants."


We should do a Holiday Fark Party.  With strippers, beer and all the food!

Actually, who needs the food?
 
2017-11-20 11:39:43 PM  

omegaic: People put way too much effort into the food, and not nearly enough effort into spending time with their family and friends. Forget the turkey, fire up the grill and cook some burgers and weenies, I guarantee you it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever when you're not worrying about the farking turkey cooking in time.


img.fark.netView Full Size


My family is the size of a small army.  Going to smoke a ham and a turkey...and deep-frying the other bird.  We are Irish, so there will be plenty of adult beverages and food and family.  There is no reason in hell for one person to be hanging out in the kitchen all farking day.  That's just wrong on so many levels.  I understand that TFA was regarding "stoveless" folks, so I'll just leave this here...the Thanksgiving of 2005 (post Katrina) we enlisted the help of everyone we could (who were capable) and cooked donated foodstuff at our remaining fire houses and some local eateries that were further north helped us out also.  A lot of us may have been without...but no one starved that holiday.

/CSB
 
2017-11-20 11:40:51 PM  
Thirty years ago I waited tables and one of the cooks bragged about his microwaved turkey. I was skeptical. In retrospect we should have pitched in and bought a turkey to try it. I still wonder if it works.

/ CSB, I know
 
2017-11-20 11:42:19 PM  

davidphogan: Harry_Seldon: I moved to Portland nearly 12 years ago, and have no family and basically no friends.  Holidays have always felt weird. I just eat my normal food, and miraculously don't gain weight over the next 6 weeks. Thank god I don't need "eatin' pants."

We should do a Holiday Fark Party.  With strippers, beer and all the food!

Actually, who needs the food?


What...no blow??

/Go big or go home!
 
2017-11-20 11:42:22 PM  

JonBuck: It's just me and my mom for Thanksgiving, since my sister's family moved to Vermont. I end up doing a lot of the cooking. This year it's going to be center-cut tenderloin steaks cooked sous vide.


Screw turkey. I need directions to you (or your Moms) house.
 
2017-11-20 11:44:38 PM  

Ms. Hushpuppy: For the past 25 years, I've wanted to assume a major family holiday but always though I'd have to have earn the title "great" (great grandma/great aunt) first.  Well, I've finally wrested this one away from the clutches of older generations and I didn't even have to use a hired hit man!  They're all coming here and I figure if I can pull off an awesome Thanksgiving, maybe they'll all come back again and it will be my permanent official holiday.

/I like cooking.  Hubby is making wheat rolls and I'm doing appetizers, a 23 pound turkey, sweet potatoes, green beans, stuffing, sautéed mushrooms, corn casserole, cranberry sauce, whipped cream, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, chocolate pie, and apple pie.  My family likes pie.


...Everyone likes pies.
 
2017-11-20 11:45:05 PM  

John Buck 41: JonBuck: It's just me and my mom for Thanksgiving, since my sister's family moved to Vermont. I end up doing a lot of the cooking. This year it's going to be center-cut tenderloin steaks cooked sous vide.

Screw turkey. I need directions to you (or your Moms) house.


Wait ... you're not the same person?
 
2017-11-20 11:47:21 PM  

MSBFDffpm: davidphogan: Harry_Seldon: I moved to Portland nearly 12 years ago, and have no family and basically no friends.  Holidays have always felt weird. I just eat my normal food, and miraculously don't gain weight over the next 6 weeks. Thank god I don't need "eatin' pants."

We should do a Holiday Fark Party.  With strippers, beer and all the food!

Actually, who needs the food?

What...no blow??

/Go big or go home!


I SAID strippers.
 
2017-11-20 11:49:20 PM  

thurstonxhowell: That sounds like a nightmare, and I love to grill. Doing it your way, I could be stuck flipping burgers in the freezing rain while everyone complains that they didn't get the one thing you're guaranteed to get at a Turkey Day get together.


You missed the point of Thanksgrilling.  Everyone just throws their own food on the fire.  Or in the fryer.

Just get a few fire extinguishers and some extra liquor.  It'll work itself out in the end.
 
2017-11-20 11:50:33 PM  

Ms. Hushpuppy: Hubby is making wheat rolls and I'm doing appetizers, a 23 pound turkey, sweet potatoes, green beans, stuffing, sautéed mushrooms, corn casserole, cranberry sauce, whipped cream, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, chocolate pie, and apple pie.  My family likes pie.


I commend you. That's a lotta work/prep/cooking. Steaks, baked potatos, and a vegetable would suffice here. Tastes better, less work. Desserts are optional. Not big sweets fans.
 
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