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(AZCentral)   Pro tip: When breaking into homes, it's best if you do not leave your resume at one of the crime scenes and your cell phone in another   ( azcentral.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Phoenix, Arizona, Sullivan, Felony, court documents, Criminal law, Police, Erin Sullivan, Theft  
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1936 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2017 at 3:10 PM (27 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



24 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-16 11:49:41 AM  
How else am I going to get any job offers?
 
2017-11-16 12:14:17 PM  
I leave my mixtape, instead.
 
2017-11-16 01:23:14 PM  
Why did he have a resume with him in the first place?  Was he hoping to get hired to rob the place again?

"My name is Erin Sullivan, and I am looking forward to a successful career in burglary.  As you will note from my attached resume, I have an extensive skill set, including lock picking, breaking-and-entering, window smashing, sensitive electronics hauling, rappelling down the sides of houses, evasion, hiding, rummaging through people's refrigerators when I'm feeling a bit peckish on the job, fencing, and so much more.  I can even bring my own burglary tools.  I hope you will consider me for your future property loss needs, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about my fitness to rob you blind."
 
2017-11-16 01:47:57 PM  
The probation officer let a known burglar get a job as a door to door salesman. Oh look, nobody's home.
 
2017-11-16 03:11:59 PM  
Hmm, says here, very detail-oriented.  *chuckle*  I don't think so!
 
2017-11-16 03:15:21 PM  
Surprise!
 
2017-11-16 03:16:35 PM  
blog-biginterview.netdna-ssl.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-16 03:19:53 PM  
If this were in Canada they probably would have returned to him his possessions ...
and offered him a job on the spot.
 
2017-11-16 03:25:05 PM  
The Surprise Police Department confirmed camera equipment and a gaming system were stolen from a home in Surprise.
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-16 03:26:47 PM  
Makes me wonder what is on the resume of an 11 times convicted felon.
 
2017-11-16 03:27:42 PM  
That's taking networking just a little too far.
 
2017-11-16 03:32:58 PM  
The one time you're SUPPOSED to rob the head of a crime gang.
 
2017-11-16 03:35:34 PM  

Psychopusher: Why did he have a resume with him in the first place?  Was he hoping to get hired to rob the place again?

"My name is Erin Sullivan Donald Trump, and I am looking forward to a successful career in burglary.  As you will note from my attached resume, I have an extensive skill set, including lock picking, breaking-and-entering, window smashing, sensitive electronics hauling, rappelling down the sides of houses, evasion, hiding, rummaging through people's refrigerators when I'm feeling a bit peckish on the job, fencing, and so much more.  I can even bring my own burglary tools.  I hope you will consider me for your future property loss needs, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about my fitness to rob you blind."

 
2017-11-16 03:40:33 PM  
Will he get a sentence reduction for helping the police?
 
2017-11-16 03:40:43 PM  

Psychopusher: Why did he have a resume with him in the first place?  Was he hoping to get hired to rob the place again?

"My name is Erin Sullivan, and I am looking forward to a successful career in burglary.  As you will note from my attached resume, I have an extensive skill set, including lock picking, breaking-and-entering, window smashing, sensitive electronics hauling, rappelling down the sides of houses, evasion, hiding, rummaging through people's refrigerators when I'm feeling a bit peckish on the job, fencing, and so much more.  I can even bring my own burglary tools.  I hope you will consider me for your future property loss needs, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about my fitness to rob you blind."


"...I have a working knowledge of home invasion management and have demonstrated exemplary initiative in getting my victims to keep their mouths shut, my long-term effectiveness rate well within the upper 98-99 percentile standard.."
 
2017-11-16 03:41:53 PM  
Says here you're an excellent thief with many stealthy characteristics.  Is that true?
Now, here it says you robble robbled the McDonalds on Ypsilanti and made off with over a hundred thousand dollars?  Oh, is that a typo?  You meant burgers?
 
2017-11-16 03:46:56 PM  
Yes, but did he get the job.
 
2017-11-16 03:54:44 PM  
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-16 03:55:59 PM  
But what if you're looking for a job as a burglar? That's good self-promotion right there...
 
2017-11-16 04:27:35 PM  

Psychopusher: Why did he have a resume with him in the first place?  Was he hoping to get hired to rob the place again?

"My name is Erin Sullivan, and I am looking forward to a successful career in burglary.  As you will note from my attached resume, I have an extensive skill set, including lock picking, breaking-and-entering, window smashing, sensitive electronics hauling, rappelling down the sides of houses, evasion, hiding, rummaging through people's refrigerators when I'm feeling a bit peckish on the job, fencing, and so much more.  I can even bring my own burglary tools.  I hope you will consider me for your future property loss needs, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about my fitness to rob you blind."


I'm thinking hired as a door to door salesman / employee with some kind of uniform which can be good for casing neighborhoods.
 
2017-11-16 04:48:06 PM  

Psychopusher: Why did he have a resume with him in the first place?  Was he hoping to get hired to rob the place again?

"My name is Erin Sullivan, and I am looking forward to a successful career in burglary.  As you will note from my attached resume, I have an extensive skill set, including lock picking, breaking-and-entering, window smashing, sensitive electronics hauling, rappelling down the sides of houses, evasion, hiding, rummaging through people's refrigerators when I'm feeling a bit peckish on the job, fencing, and so much more.  I can even bring my own burglary tools.  I hope you will consider me for your future property loss needs, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about my fitness to rob you blind."


TFA said he was a door to door salesman, so he had it with him.

On a totally different note, I absolutely love your post. :-)
 
2017-11-16 05:35:24 PM  
How did the police discover that the watches were hidden in cereal boxes?  Did they decide to help themselves to a bowl of Grape Nuts while they were questioning the guy?
 
2017-11-16 08:32:39 PM  
"Hey, he left his resume. Let's call that number. Hello, Sarge!"
 
2017-11-17 02:19:04 AM  
While it's best if you don't do that with your own resume and phone, it's certainly a good way to throw the cops off your trail and frame your enemies if you leave their resumes and phones at the scene.
 
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