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(Inquisitr)   No, seriously, Stove Top made Thanksgiving stretch pants, but they're not for over-eaters stuffing themselves, it's to accommodate the amount of water you need to drink to handle the sodium intake of eating their stuffing   ( inquisitr.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Belt, Clothing, Zipper, Stuffing, Trousers, Suspenders, Stove Top stuffing, Whistling  
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3444 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2017 at 10:58 AM (34 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-11-14 09:44:40 AM  
If you can't eat Thanksgiving dinner in sweat pants, get a new family.
 
2017-11-14 09:52:51 AM  
The high sodium is there to mask the cardboard taste of the stuffing.  Spices would do the same thing, but they cost more.
 
2017-11-14 09:57:30 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: If you can't eat Thanksgiving dinner in sweat pants, get a new family.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-14 10:04:47 AM  
I figured you 'merikuns would have upgraded to Hawaiian muumuus as your Yankspigging garb?
No binding stretching to worry about (hopefully) and better ventilation of post-dinner turkey flatulence.
 
2017-11-14 10:46:13 AM  
Are they proper bar attire, 'cause that's where I'll be spending my Thanksgiving day.
 
2017-11-14 10:52:37 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Oh my.
 
2017-11-14 11:02:04 AM  
Will they fit over my Butterball Depends?  They're for the active, on the go turkey consumer who can't leave the table for bathroom breaks.

"Paaaaaaaassst ttttthe  turkey please."
 
2017-11-14 11:02:13 AM  
I like my plan of not eating like a farking pig cause it's Thanksgiving.
 
2017-11-14 11:02:38 AM  
Ewwww who the hell wants to see a relative's cameltoe in stretchy pants? EWWW!!!
 
2017-11-14 11:03:23 AM  
Eating pants.
We wear Eating Pants in my family.
This is not new - they are just branded for Stove Top.

We will continue to wear our generic Eating Pants this year.
 
2017-11-14 11:05:18 AM  

Merltech: The high sodium is there to mask the cardboard taste of the stuffing.  Spices would do the same thing, but they cost more.


Flame on, but I farking LOVE stove-top stuffing. Sometimes i replace 1/4 of the water with applesauce for a little kick.  My Mother-in-Law makes her own from scratch and it's utter crap.  We always do Xmas dinner at my house because goddammit I'm gonna have one good Turkey dinner a year if it kills me.

mrsleep: I like my plan of not eating like a farking pig cause it's Thanksgiving.


Blasphemer!!
 
2017-11-14 11:07:36 AM  
Mmmmmmmmm, salt and west croutons.
 
2017-11-14 11:07:54 AM  
My family can't be the only ones who don't wear pants on Thanksgiving
 
2017-11-14 11:08:16 AM  
Will Taco Bell now market their version of Depends?
 
2017-11-14 11:08:19 AM  
Designed in the USA!
 

Of course they were...
 
2017-11-14 11:10:24 AM  
Make your own, it's not hard:

1/2 pound pork sausage
1 cup celery chopped fine
1 large onion chopped
4 McIntosh apples
2 t dried sage
1 T dried parsley
1 t dried oregano
1 t dried thyme
1 1/2 t salt
1/2 t pepper
24 ounce toasted bread
1 1/4 cup butter melted
2 cup boiling water

Cook the sausage in skillet, breaking up pieces with fork until no longer pink, drain fat. Melt butter in the water, put everything in a bowl & toss gently. Bake at 375 for 35 to 40 minutes.
 
2017-11-14 11:13:26 AM  
So... maternity pants.
 
2017-11-14 11:13:28 AM  

anustart: Merltech: The high sodium is there to mask the cardboard taste of the stuffing.  Spices would do the same thing, but they cost more.

Flame on, but I farking LOVE stove-top stuffing. Sometimes i replace 1/4 of the water with applesauce for a little kick.  My Mother-in-Law makes her own from scratch and it's utter crap.  We always do Xmas dinner at my house because goddammit I'm gonna have one good Turkey dinner a year if it kills me.

mrsleep: I like my plan of not eating like a farking pig cause it's Thanksgiving.

Blasphemer!!


This!!
 
2017-11-14 11:15:14 AM  
Stuffing is easy to make. In fact, that's all I make each year. 15 pounds of stuffing.
 
2017-11-14 11:19:05 AM  
First world problems.....
 
2017-11-14 11:19:10 AM  
So I'm guessing their stretch pants (and the people they are intended for) won't look like this
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-14 11:26:36 AM  

steklo: Ewwww who the hell wants to see a relative's cameltoe in stretchy pants? EWWW!!!


Roy Moore supporters ?
 
2017-11-14 11:29:19 AM  
It's good to know America doesn't have to let morbid obesity be an impediment to more eating.
 
2017-11-14 11:30:28 AM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Make your own, it's not hard:

1/2 pound pork sausage
1 cup celery chopped fine
1 large onion chopped
4 McIntosh apples
2 t dried sage
1 T dried parsley
1 t dried oregano
1 t dried thyme
1 1/2 t salt
1/2 t pepper
24 ounce toasted bread
1 1/4 cup butter melted
2 cup boiling water

Cook the sausage in skillet, breaking up pieces with fork until no longer pink, drain fat. Melt butter in the water, put everything in a bowl & toss gently. Bake at 375 for 35 to 40 minutes.


Agreed.  You should certainly make your own.  I use a recipe that my mother used to make and everyone loves it.  Lightly toast some sliced bread and tear it into small squares.  Add onions, celery, butter, chicken stock, mix this together then add poultry seasoning, thyme and sage, salt and pepper. I judge the seasoning by the aroma.  The sage should be noticeable, but not overly.
 
2017-11-14 11:30:32 AM  
Now we know what SNL writers do in their downtime.
 
2017-11-14 11:33:50 AM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Make your own, it's not hard:

1/2 pound pork sausage
1 cup celery chopped fine
1 large onion chopped
4 McIntosh apples
2 t dried sage
1 T dried parsley
1 t dried oregano
1 t dried thyme
1 1/2 t salt
1/2 t pepper
24 ounce toasted bread
1 1/4 cup butter melted
2 cup boiling water

Cook the sausage in skillet, breaking up pieces with fork until no longer pink, drain fat. Melt butter in the water, put everything in a bowl & toss gently. Bake at 375 for 35 to 40 minutes.


Orrrrr.....

* 1-1/2 cups water
* 1/4 cup (4 Tbsp.) butter

Boil water & butter in medium saucepan. Dump in contents of Stuffing Mix pouch; cover. Remove from heat and let stand 5 minutes.

Total time, including prep: 8 minutes.

/total time including medical and health needs afterward, however......
 
2017-11-14 11:37:45 AM  

El_Perro: [img.fark.net image 495x1158]

Oh my.


I'd stuff it
 
2017-11-14 11:38:53 AM  
ArcadianRefugee:
2 t dried sage
1 T dried parsley
1 t dried oregano Rosemary
1 t dried thyme


FTFY
 
2017-11-14 11:40:20 AM  

litespeed74: El_Perro: [img.fark.net image 495x1158]

Oh my.

I'd stuff it


Good I'm not the only one who was thinking that lol.
 
2017-11-14 11:50:32 AM  

goat012006: So I'm guessing their stretch pants (and the people they are intended for) won't look like this[img.fark.net image 425x527]


The sizes are S-XL, and they say that those match up to waist sizes 30 through 36.

XL? 36? Hah.
 
2017-11-14 11:58:09 AM  
i'm headed to hawaii a few days after thanksgiving so i can't binge-sadly. also who dafuq makes stove top stuffing for thanksgiving?
 
2017-11-14 12:01:51 PM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Make your own, it's not hard:

1/2 pound pork sausage
1 cup celery chopped fine
1 large onion chopped
4 McIntosh apples
2 t dried sage
1 T dried parsley
1 t dried oregano
1 t dried thyme
1 1/2 t salt
1/2 t pepper
24 ounce toasted bread
1 1/4 cup butter melted
2 cup boiling water

Cook the sausage in skillet, breaking up pieces with fork until no longer pink, drain fat. Melt butter in the water, put everything in a bowl & toss gently. Bake at 375 for 35 to 40 minutes.


I was going say add oysters but, I'm more likely to just eat the oysters and skip the stuffing entirely.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-14 12:02:09 PM  

JudgeSmails: i'm headed to hawaii a few days after thanksgiving so i can't binge-sadly. also who dafuq makes stove top stuffing for thanksgiving?


Stove-top employees?

img.fark.netView Full Size


OBEY
 
2017-11-14 12:06:55 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Will they fit over my Butterball Depends?  They're for the active, on the go turkey consumer who can't leave the table for bathroom breaks.

"Paaaaaaaassst ttttthe  turkey please."


I'd like to Funny this several times.
 
2017-11-14 12:09:55 PM  
Reminds me of the girl in high school we called Stove Top.  It was obvious she was stuffing her bra.
 
2017-11-14 12:10:05 PM  
cornbread can make good stuffing too.
 
2017-11-14 12:14:51 PM  

WyDave: Reminds me of the girl in high school we called Stove Top.  It was obvious she was stuffing her bra.


with Stove Top? Eww..

/oh, who am I kidding? I'd still eat it
//maybe see some tiddies too, win/win
 
2017-11-14 12:19:49 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-14 12:21:23 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Will they fit over my Butterball Depends?  They're for the active, on the go turkey consumer who can't leave the table for bathroom breaks.

"Paaaaaaaassst ttttthe  turkey please."


Knows what you're talking about:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-14 12:28:56 PM  

JudgeSmails: i'm headed to hawaii a few days after thanksgiving so i can't binge-sadly. also who dafuq makes stove top stuffing for thanksgiving?


Yo.  o/

D1vwife's homemade stuffing has so much sage in it you would think you were gnawing on a bush.  Half the family loves it though.  I make a "backup" stuffing for those of us who do not.
 
2017-11-14 12:32:45 PM  

Evil Mackerel: DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Make your own, it's not hard:

1/2 pound pork sausage
1 cup celery chopped fine
1 large onion chopped
4 McIntosh apples
2 t dried sage
1 T dried parsley
1 t dried oregano
1 t dried thyme
1 1/2 t salt
1/2 t pepper
24 ounce toasted bread
1 1/4 cup butter melted
2 cup boiling water

Cook the sausage in skillet, breaking up pieces with fork until no longer pink, drain fat. Melt butter in the water, put everything in a bowl & toss gently. Bake at 375 for 35 to 40 minutes.

I was going say add oysters but, I'm more likely to just eat the oysters and skip the stuffing entirely.
[img.fark.net image 550x413]


Many variations on stuffing add salty ingredients such as oysters or sausage, which kicks up the salt content/flavor ... Stovetop just took the cheaper way to do it.
 
2017-11-14 12:37:13 PM  
SOLD OUT!

My Thanksgiving is RUINED!
RUINED!
 
2017-11-14 12:40:22 PM  

goat012006: So I'm guessing their stretch pants (and the people they are intended for) won't look like this[img.fark.net image 425x527]


Biatch couldn't fit a turkey leg in there.
 
2017-11-14 12:41:35 PM  
I still don't want to see my 400lb Aunt Bertha wearing those things at my thanksgiving table. No thank you.

I don't want to see any relatives in form fitting stretchy pants. Friends of the family over for the feast? That's ok but not relatives.
 
2017-11-14 12:51:07 PM  

WyDave: Reminds me of the girl in high school we called Stove Top.  It was obvious she was stuffing her bra.


Hey, that was my nicname in HS. :-(
 
2017-11-14 01:16:45 PM  

Mudd's woman: cornbread can make good stuffing too.


...and it's stupidly easy to make.

Sausage gravy over cornbread = best breakfast ever.1

1- after tossing fried egg on top

/surprisingly, not fat
 
2017-11-14 01:36:39 PM  
I casually eat Stove Top (or the Aldi knockoff) throughout the year, but not eating homemade stuffing (or at the very least, splurging in Pepperidge Farm mix) on Thanksgiving is almost sinful.
 
2017-11-14 01:44:08 PM  

MBZ321: I casually eat Stove Top (or the Aldi knockoff) throughout the year, but not eating homemade stuffing (or at the very least, splurging in Pepperidge Farm mix) on Thanksgiving is almost sinful.


My mother makes the Pepperidge Fark kind. Very good.
 
2017-11-14 01:44:39 PM  

Jadedgrl: MBZ321: I casually eat Stove Top (or the Aldi knockoff) throughout the year, but not eating homemade stuffing (or at the very least, splurging in Pepperidge Farm mix) on Thanksgiving is almost sinful.

My mother makes the Pepperidge Fark kind. Very good.


Sigh. Farm.
 
2017-11-14 02:27:10 PM  

Jadedgrl: MBZ321: I casually eat Stove Top (or the Aldi knockoff) throughout the year, but not eating homemade stuffing (or at the very least, splurging in Pepperidge Farm mix) on Thanksgiving is almost sinful.

My mother makes the Pepperidge Fark kind. Very good.


Remember that racist comment you made 4 years ago in that Photoshop thread? Pepperidge Fark remembers...
 
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