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(ESPN)   Do the Saints move up for destroying the Bills at home? Can the 49ers overtake the Giants? Its your Week 11 ESPN Power Rankings   ( espn.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, wins, ranking, record, No., National Football League, Indianapolis Colts, American football, Washington Redskins  
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1457 clicks; posted to Sports » on 14 Nov 2017 at 11:20 AM (35 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-11-14 11:17:13 AM  
THE COWBOYS ARE TOO DAMNED HIGH!

dearsportsfan.comView Full Size

 
2017-11-14 11:21:59 AM  
Vikings are back down where they belong.
 
2017-11-14 11:24:34 AM  

Mongo No.5: Vikings are back down where they belong.


I read this in Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes's voices.
 
2017-11-14 11:26:12 AM  
WHAR GRAF WHAR JAKE WHa

...and I'm spent
 
2017-11-14 11:28:50 AM  
Yes. 9 to 3
 
2017-11-14 11:31:08 AM  
Bears are expected to get two more wins, maybe. That sounds about right. Sunday was an embarrassing show of tripping over your own feet.
 
2017-11-14 11:32:43 AM  
Nothing beats Pineapple Man
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2017-11-14 11:33:19 AM  
"That's not bad for a team that was projected to win just 7.9 games in the preseason."

There are only 4 preseason games...
 
2017-11-14 11:35:13 AM  
I'm trying to figure out why the Texans went up after a thorough beating on Sunday. As the stats show, they average 9.3 without Watson, and 34.7 with him.
 
2017-11-14 11:37:18 AM  

Mongo No.5: Vikings are back down where they belong.


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2017-11-14 11:37:30 AM  

Mongo No.5: Vikings are back down where they belong.


Yeah, 6th seems roughly correct, but I'm not sure what happened to move them from above KC to below.  No biggie.

/I'm confused and scared at the new Red Zone efficiency
 
2017-11-14 11:41:50 AM  
The Streaker in the Saints/Bills game had more rushing yards than the Bills running game.
 
2017-11-14 11:43:14 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: "That's not bad for a team that was projected to win just 7.9 games in the preseason."

There are only 4 preseason games...


ESPN has the dumb, they can't English good.

I think what they meant to type is: "In the preseason, we ran projections that put them at
4 wins during the regular season.".
 
2017-11-14 11:44:43 AM  

mrsleep: Nothing beats Pineapple Man
[img.fark.net image 599x337]


I see it was "Free Seat Costume Day" for the Titans
 
2017-11-14 11:49:33 AM  
I see the Patriots are back to their "bend don't break" defense. Last in the league in yards per game, 14th in points per game.
 
2017-11-14 11:52:15 AM  
Seven point Six wins predicted for Washington. Aligns with my pre-season prediction of "7-9, maybe 8-8 if we get lucky and play the Cowboys without Zeke."

I actually agree with an ESPN Power Rankings article. I'm scared.
 
2017-11-14 11:53:03 AM  

WinoRhino: I see the Patriots are back to their "bend don't break" defense. Last in the league in yards per game, 14th in points per game.


This is who they are every season, my mid season their defense is starting to coalesce into something playoff ready. In Bill We Trust!

go Pats!
 
2017-11-14 11:55:43 AM  

xaks: WHAR GRAF WHAR JAKE WHa

...and I'm spent


Graf is off counting.

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Jake is attending him, he's in charge of the chamber pot.
 
2017-11-14 11:59:44 AM  
49ers (31) beat Giants (30) and neither ranking changes.

Seems legit.
 
2017-11-14 12:06:03 PM  

Kuta: 49ers (31) beat Giants (30) and neither ranking changes.

Seems legit.


Bristolcentricity promoted from conspiracy theory to conspiracy fact.
 
2017-11-14 12:14:18 PM  
At least I picked a good year to follow the Eagles as a peripheral fan. Now if Donnel Pumphrey can get healthy and maybe take a few snaps this year....
 
2017-11-14 12:24:24 PM  
So with everybody jumping on the NFC bandwagon I decided to look into head-to-head matchups so far this season.

In September the AFC won 5 games and the NFC won 6, the point total differential was -1 in favor of the NFC.
In October the AFC won 9 games and the NFC won 11, the point total differential was -57 in favor of the NFC.
In November (so far) the AFC has won 0 games and the NFC has won 7, the point total differential so far is -145 in favor of the NFC.

Since inter-conference is setup by division, we can look at the wins/losses like this:

AFCE: 6-7 :NFCS
AFCN: 2-6 :NFCN
AFCS: 2-6 :NFCW
AFCW: 4-5 :NFCE

and point differential like this:

AFCE vs NFCS (-51 for NFC)
AFCN vs NFCN (-29 for NFC)
AFCS vs NFCW (-98 for NFC)
AFCW vs NFCE (-23 for NFC)

When you break it down on a team-by-team basis you get the picture that while the division leaders for the AFC are still competitive with the NFC, everybody else is not, so a conclusion you could make is that the AFC is a top-heavy conference. Also the AFCS might still be the worst division - of course it's missing 2 of its quarterbacks. Also the AFCN is struggling to score points.
 
2017-11-14 12:25:18 PM  

BKITU: At least I picked a good year to follow the Eagles as a peripheral fan. Now if Donnel Pumphrey can get healthy and maybe take a few snaps this year....


Hate to be the bearer of bad news but Pumphrey is on IR. Even if he wasn't there is such a logjam at tailback that he wouldn't see the field anyway.

Blount, Ajayi, Clement, Smallwood, Barner are all on the active roster. Smallwood was the odd man out against the Broncos, and it seems likely to stay that way unless someone gets hurt.
 
2017-11-14 12:26:26 PM  

Kuta: 49ers (31) beat Giants (30) and neither ranking changes.

Seems legit.


A sample size of one is pretty terrible. Worse teams win games all the time. The comment is basically "we believe if they played an extended series that the Giants would win more of the games" and I can't see why anyone would disagree with a statement like that.
 
2017-11-14 12:33:18 PM  
Just a caveat for the head-to-head stuff: when the NFC went on a 15 year super bowl winning run (or however long it was), the AFC actually dominated most of that time during the regular season head-to-head matchups, so not sure how important any of this really is in the long-run.
 
2017-11-14 12:42:43 PM  

BKITU: At least I picked a good year to follow the Eagles as a peripheral fan. Now if Donnel Pumphrey can get healthy and maybe take a few snaps this year....


As a life long Eagles fan I find it weird that we have bandwagon fans.

/Still waiting for the implosion
 
2017-11-14 12:46:30 PM  

Fark-the-Fnord: BKITU: At least I picked a good year to follow the Eagles as a peripheral fan. Now if Donnel Pumphrey can get healthy and maybe take a few snaps this year....

As a life long Eagles fan I find it weird that we have bandwagon fans.

/Still waiting for the implosion


I think the Vikings implosion starts this week against the Rams.  But they're at home... should be a good game I think.
 
2017-11-14 12:47:24 PM  
Giants should be last for tanking. At least the Browns and 49ers are trying to win games
 
2017-11-14 12:51:33 PM  
  All I wanted for Christmas AND birthday present this year was a bend-don't-break Saints defense. At this point we're actually a higher tier unit. Feels like I'm taking crazy pills. You already knew what this offense could do (now with bonus monster ground attack), but if this D keeps this standard I'm finally all-in on the Saints. I'll feel better if we contain the Rams, though.
 
2017-11-14 12:55:36 PM  

dickfreckle: I'll feel better if we contain the Rams


Things no one ever expected to write during the pre-season.
 
2017-11-14 12:59:16 PM  
The Saints looked so good this weekend. Now if we can just avoid playing down to the Redskins.
 
2017-11-14 01:01:17 PM  

LucklessWonder: Seven point Six wins predicted for Washington. Aligns with my pre-season prediction of "7-9, maybe 8-8 if we get lucky and play the Cowboys without Zeke."

I actually agree with an ESPN Power Rankings article. I'm scared.


As a Ravens fan, I'm glad that they haven't had to play the schedule that Washington has. Washington is 4-5 and has had games against Dallas (with Zeke) (5-4), Kansas City (6-3), Philadelphia (twice) (8-1), Los Angeles (Rams) (7-2), Seattle (6-3) and Minnesota (7-2).

But Washington's schedule (after the Saints):
NY Giants (1-8)
Dallas (w/o Zeke) (5-4)
Los Angeles (Chargers) (3-6)
Arizona (4-5)
Denver (3-6)
NY Giants (1-8)

That's still not as easy as Baltimore's remaining schedule, but that should be more than 3 wins. The NFC should have 6 10+ win teams, so even if Washington went 6-1 on their remaining games and finished 10-6 doesn't mean they'd make the playoffs.
 
2017-11-14 01:02:33 PM  
Time to send Eli to a nice farm upstate, I think.
 
2017-11-14 01:04:20 PM  
Philadelphia Eagles
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Rest now, you must,
Mighty Lords of the Sky,
For the Cowboys of Dallas
Will soon be nigh. -.-

New England Patriots
Patriots win on Sunday Night Football. What a f**king shocker. -_-

Tom Brady threw for 266 yds and 3 touchdowns against an invalid Broncos defense. RB Dion Lewis returned a 1st Quarter kickoff 103 yds for another touchdown. Your defense shutdown the Broncos at the best (or worst, depending on your POV) possible times.

In doing so, you've put the rest of the AFC on notice, and allowed Bill Belichick to tie Tom Landry for 3rd most wins by a Head Coach in NFL history. Good luck in Oakland next week.

New Orleans Saints
Breesus Christ! You guys DESTROYED the Bills IN Buffalo, and you did it on the ground! Your 298 rushing yds fell just short of a franchise record, and your defense held QB phenom Tyrod Taylor to just 56 yds in the air! You're now not just fighting for the NFC South title, but also a possible 1st-Round Bye in the Playoffs! O_O

Good luck against Washington next week! :-)

Pittsburgh Steelers
After almost s**tting the bed in Indianapolis, you roared to life in the 4th Quarter to win the game with a last-second Field Goal by K Chris Boswell. Good job.

No rest for you, however, as you host the Titans on Thursday Night. Keep up your winning ways, and Home-Field Advantage could be yours. :-)

Kansas City Chiefs
You had your Bye this week, and play the Giants next week. Hopefully, 3 weeks of rest doesn't make you too rusty. :P

Minnesota Vikings
By Odin's beard! What a game! QB Case Keenum had a banner day, throwing for 304 yds and 4 Touchdowns. However, 2 late-game interceptions, including a pick-6, kept the Redskins alive into the 4th Quarter. Good thing your defense stepped up to hold them off.

Now that your former Starting QB Teddy Bridgewater is cleared to compete, there might be a QB controversy brewing between him and Keenum. But, unless Keenum starts winning some Jakes in the near future, I'd stay the course. The dude is ON FIRE right now!

You host the NFC West-leading L.A. Rams next week, in a game where a 1st-Round Playoff Bye could be decided. It'll be your toughest challenge to date, so good luck. :-)

Los Angeles Rams
Well, this game went about as well as I thought it would. QB Jared Goff threw for 355 yds and 3 Touchdowns, K Greg Zuerlein went 4-for-4 on Field Goals, and your defense forced 4 turnovers by Texans QB Tom Savage. That's what some people would call an "ass kicking". o.o

Things aren't going to be this easy for you next week, though, when you travel to Minnesota to face the Vikings. Time to see what you Rams are really capable of. >:-)

Seattle Seahawks
You won the game, but lost CB Richard Sherman for the rest of the season to a ruptured Achilles.

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Why does this s**t keep HAPPENNING this year? Did someone put a hex on the League, or what?! :-(

On the plus side, Kicker Blair Walsh made up for Sunday by going 2-for-2 in Field Goals, QB Russell Wilson threw for 238 yds and 2 TDs, and your defense took AP to the woodshed, forcing a Fumble and taking him down in his own End Zone for a Safety before you lost Sherman.

You've got 11 days until you host the Falcons on Monday Night; plenty of time to prepare and rest your remaining guys. Good luck.

Jacksonville Jaguars
Good news: You beat the L.A. Chargers at home in Overtime.

Bad news: You WOULD'VE beat them in regulation, if your players hadn't kept taunting said Chargers.

Please stop taunting your opponents. You'll make the Bunny sad. :-(

Fortunately, you get the Browns next week. Work on player discipline, and everything will be just fine.

Carolina Panthers
You thouroughly trounced the Miami LOLphins on Monday Night Football. QB Cam Newton threw for 254 yds and 4 Touchdowns, while rushing for 98 yds. 98 YDS! RBs Cameron Artis-Payne and Christian McCaffrey each scored a rushing Touchdown. WR Devin Funchess picked up 92 receiving yds and 2 Touchdowns on only 5 receptions. MLB Luke Kuechly was mistaken for a Dolphin by Miami QB Jay Cutler, making the only Interception of the night.

You guys are catching fire at exactly the right time. You get 2 weeks rest before heading off to Jersey to face the Jets. Keep up what you're doing, and you could go far in the Playoffs. :-)

Atlanta Falcons
Congrats on delivering a curbstomping to the Zeke-less Cowboys. QB Matt Ryan went 22/29 on completions, throwing for 215 yds, 2 Touchdowns, and only 1 pick. RB Tevon Coleman rushed for 83 yds and 1 Touchdown. K Matt Bryant went 2-for-2 on Field Goals. Lastly, but not leastly, your vaunted defense held the Cows to 7 points, and stripped QB Dak Prescott of the ball twice.

Go grab yourselves something to drink! It's in one of the coolers... >.>

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They only cost $3.28! XD

Tennessee Titans
Thanks to an almost-literal, last-second Touchdown throw to RB DeMarco Murray by 2nd-year QB Marcus Mariota, you snuck past the Ohio state penitentiary system's farm team to remain tied for 1st in the division with Jacksonville. Nice. :-)

But, don't start sucking each others' dicks quite yet. You travel to Heinz Field on Thursday for a "play date" with the vaunted Pittsburgh Steelers. This will be a true test of your mettle. Good luck. :-)

Dallas Cowboys
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Detroit Lions
You sick b@stards spotted the Cleveland Browns 10 points, and then proceeded to crush the hopes and dreams of city's 1st win since the Obama Administration in the 2nd Quarter. You then lifted them AGAIN by letting them tie the game in the 3rd, only to smash them to pieces in the 4th.

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You people are sick. >:-(

Oakland/Vegas Raiders
This was your Bye Week, so I hope you used it wisely. You host the Patriots next Sunday, so I hope you've made peace with God. :P

Buffalo Bills
Has midnight struck for Cinderella? You guys looked like ASS against the Saints. QB Tyrod Taylor threw for only 56 yards and gave up a pick. Backup QB Nathan Peterman did SLIGHTLY better, throwing for 79 yds and a TD. Your running game was equally atrocious, and your defense was non-existant. In short, you f**king SUCKED.

Hopefully, a trip to L.A. to face the Chargers next week gets you back on track. Your Playoff hopes are starting to fade... :-(

Green Bay Packers
Good News! Your backup QB Brett "The Hitman" Hundley turned out to be kinda competent, throwing for 212 yds and the game-winning Touchdown, and embarrassed DA' Bears at Soldier Field on Sunday. :D

Bad News! He hurt his hamstring doing it. :-(

Good News! It doesn't appear to be too bad, and he should still start against the Ravens next Sunday. :D

Bad News! RB Aaron Jones will be out for a month with a sprained MCL. :-(

Also, Martellus Bennett faked a season-ending injury so he could be cut by your team and join the Patriots. >_>

Um... Good luck on Sunday? o_o'

Washington [REDACTED]
A tough loss on Sunday dropped you down to 3rd in the NFC East. Not good. QB Kirk Cousins kept you alive with 327 passing yds and 3 Touchdowns, 2 of them on the ground. You played a good game, though, and didn't quit. Hopefully, you're on the right track for next season. :-)

Things won't be easier for you next week, with a trip to the Superdome to face the NFC South-leading Saints. Good luck, and f**k you Dan Snyder.

Los Angeles Chargers
QB Phillip Rivers threw for 235 yds and 2 TDs. Your defense forced 2 interceptions by Blake Bortles. You led for the majority of the game, and your owner paid off the refs to keep the Jaguars from winning the game during regulation.

But, somehow, someway, despite the refs' best efforts, you STILL managed to f**k it all up in Overtime!

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F**k you, Dean Spanos! XD

Baltimore Ravens
Well, hopefully you fixed your s**t during the Bye Week and are ready for a trip to Lambeau Field. This game might have the makings of a Dumpster Fire... >_>

Houston Texans
Congratulations to QB Tom Savage on winning the Jake this week. Your putrid 2 Interceptions and 2 Fumbles are the stuff of true legends. :P

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Seriously, guys, you're f**ked this year. :-(

THE DENVER BRONCOS!!!
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YOU F**KING FAILURES! >:O

5 games! You've lost 5 games IN A ROW! You haven't won a single f**king game since your Bye Week! QB Brock Osweiler is drilling innocent coaching staff in the head with the ball, the defense is laying out defenseless umpires, instead of the opposing team, and Special Teams is making the Keystone Cops look like Seal Team Six. WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! >:O

I'll tell you what's wrong: Vance Joseph and his coaching staff, in just a couple of months, have absolutely f**king ruined EVERYTHING that former coach Gary Kubiak and his team had built. You have no discipline, no drive, no fighting spirit, no leadership, NOTHING! YOU. ARE. F**KING. GARBAGE. >:-(

A team that won the motherf**king SUPER BOWL only 2 years ago has degraded and collapsed like a neutron star, and your fans are fighting each other in the stands like f**king Raiders fans! F**K THIS S**T! >:-(

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Tampa Bay Buccaneers
This game was boring. YOU'RE boring. You're boring Buccaneers. But, a win's a win, I guess.

Congrats on you "revenge", Ryan Fitzpatrick.

New York Jets
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Why the f**k do I keep picking you? What's wrong with me? -_-'

Arizona Cardinals
I'm starting to think bringing in Adrian Peterson to augment your ground game wasn't such a great move. >_>

QB Drew Stanton threw for 273 yds and a TD. RB Andre Ellington only ran for 4 yds, but scored a badly-needed TD. Aside from breaking Richard Sherman, you did nothing of note in your home-loss to division-rival Seattle.

Your Playoff window is closing, but you play the crippled Texans next week in Houston. That might help.

Miami Dolphins
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Cincinnati Bengals
Once more, the Ginger Hammer falls! Though QB Andy Dalton threw for 265 yds and 2 Touchdowns, including a 70-yd bomb to AJ Green, his 2 Fumbles may have hampered efforts to get your 4th win. That, and Vontaze Burfict assaulting the ref and getting ejected from the game. >.>

Hopefully, things will go better next week when you play...

*checks schedule*

...

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Chicago Bears
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Oh, no! You choked again! XD

Hope you have better luck against the Lions next week. :P

Indianapolis Colts
Ooooh, so close! Jacoby Brissett seems to be improving, throwing for 222 yds, 2 60+ yd Touchdowns, and a pick.

Sadly, though, you fell apart in the 4th, ceding the game to a last-second Field Goal. Your Bye Week is next week, though, giving you 2 weeks to prepare for division-rival Tennessee. Use this time to the best of your ability.

New York Football Giants
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You LOST to the NINERS?! Are you f**king KIDDING me right now?!

Your HC Ben McAdoo threatened to bench Eli-freaking-Manning if you guys lost. Well, you did, and McAdoo backed down. Dude, if you're gonna make threats like that, you HAVE to carry through with them. Now, you just look like a cowardly jackass. :-(

Speaking of Eli, he threw for 273 yds, 2 Touchdowns, and coughed up a Fumble. K Aldrick Rosas made 2-out-of-3 Field Goal attempts. But, your defense still let you get outscored by the F**KING 49ERS.

And how the F**K are you still ranked HIGHER than Santa Clara?! YOU JUST LOST TO THEM!

F**king Hell, Power Rankings! >:-(

San Francisco Santa Clara 49ers
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Holy S**T, you actually won a game?! An actual, regular-season game?! O_O

I mean, sure, it was against the Giants, but hey! Beggars can't be choosers, amiright?

QB C.J. Beathard (hehehe) threw for 288 yds and 2 Touchdowns, including an 83-yd backbreaker to Marquese Goodwin, ran for a 3rd TD, and tossed only 1 Interception. RB Carlos Hyde ran for 98 yds, while Matt Breida ran for a TD. Your defense forced 1 Fumble from Giants QB Eli Manning and, for once, didn't implode.

You've got your Bye Week next, so you've got something to build on over the next 2 weeks. Good job. :-)

Cleveland Browns
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See you guys next week! :-)
 
2017-11-14 01:06:29 PM  

Kuta: 49ers (31) beat Giants (30) and neither ranking changes.

Seems legit.


I'm gonna assume Mara isn't pulling the trigger on both McAdoo and Reese until after the season.

/Fire them both
//Sit Eli
///then trade him in the offseason
///for his own good
 
2017-11-14 01:10:08 PM  

Captain Steroid: Philadelphia Eagles
[img.fark.net image 200x140]

Rest now, you must,
Mighty Lords of the Sky,
For the Cowboys of Dallas
Will soon be nigh. -.-

New England Patriots
Patriots win on Sunday Night Football. What a f**king shocker. -_-

Tom Brady threw for 266 yds and 3 touchdowns against an invalid Broncos defense. RB Dion Lewis returned a 1st Quarter kickoff 103 yds for another touchdown. Your defense shutdown the Broncos at the best (or worst, depending on your POV) possible times.

In doing so, you've put the rest of the AFC on notice, and allowed Bill Belichick to tie Tom Landry for 3rd most wins by a Head Coach in NFL history. Good luck in Oakland next week.

New Orleans Saints
Breesus Christ! You guys DESTROYED the Bills IN Buffalo, and you did it on the ground! Your 298 rushing yds fell just short of a franchise record, and your defense held QB phenom Tyrod Taylor to just 56 yds in the air! You're now not just fighting for the NFC South title, but also a possible 1st-Round Bye in the Playoffs! O_O

Good luck against Washington next week! :-)

Pittsburgh Steelers
After almost s**tting the bed in Indianapolis, you roared to life in the 4th Quarter to win the game with a last-second Field Goal by K Chris Boswell. Good job.

No rest for you, however, as you host the Titans on Thursday Night. Keep up your winning ways, and Home-Field Advantage could be yours. :-)

Kansas City Chiefs
You had your Bye this week, and play the Giants next week. Hopefully, 3 weeks of rest doesn't make you too rusty. :P

Minnesota Vikings
By Odin's beard! What a game! QB Case Keenum had a banner day, throwing for 304 yds and 4 Touchdowns. However, 2 late-game interceptions, including a pick-6, kept the Redskins alive into the 4th Quarter. Good thing your defense stepped up to hold them off.

Now that your former Starting QB Teddy Bridgewater is cleared to compete, there might be a QB controversy brewing between him and Keenum. But, unless Keenum starts winning some Jakes in the near futur ...


Am I wrong in enjoying your posts more than the power rankings themselves?  Keep it up!
 
2017-11-14 01:10:18 PM  

dickfreckle: All I wanted for Christmas AND birthday present this year was a bend-don't-break Saints defense. At this point we're actually a higher tier unit. Feels like I'm taking crazy pills. You already knew what this offense could do (now with bonus monster ground attack), but if this D keeps this standard I'm finally all-in on the Saints. I'll feel better if we contain the Rams, though.


How frightening must it be for the rest of the league that the Saints don't have to depend on Brees to score points.  When they need him he's there but, hey just give it to the running game.
 
2017-11-14 01:13:47 PM  

Captain Steroid: Dallas Cowboys


SKIEEEEUP!
 
2017-11-14 01:15:40 PM  

Captain Steroid: THE DENVER BRONCOS!!!


YOU F**KING FAILURES! >:O

5 games! You've lost 5 games IN A ROW! You haven't won a single f**king game since your Bye Week! QB Brock Osweiler is drilling innocent coaching staff in the head with the ball, the defense is laying out defenseless umpires, instead of the opposing team, and Special Teams is making the Keystone Cops look like Seal Team Six. WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! >:O

I'll tell you what's wrong: Vance Joseph and his coaching staff, in just a couple of months, have absolutely f**king ruined EVERYTHING that former coach Gary Kubiak and his team had built. You have no discipline, no drive, no fighting spirit, no leadership, NOTHING! YOU. ARE. F**KING. GARBAGE. >:-(

A team that won the motherf**king SUPER BOWL only 2 years ago has degraded and collapsed like a neutron star, and your fans are fighting each other in the stands like f**king Raiders fans! F**K THIS S**T! >:-(


Sooooooooooo why did John Elway not pull the trigger for Romo again?  Not even for Eli?
 
2017-11-14 01:18:27 PM  

Captain Steroid: New England Patriots
Patriots win on Sunday Night Football. What a f**king shocker. -_-

Tom Brady threw for 266 yds and 3 touchdowns against an invalid Broncos defense. RB Dion Lewis returned a 1st Quarter kickoff 103 yds for another touchdown. Your defense shutdown the Broncos at the best (or worst, depending on your POV) possible times.

In doing so, you've put the rest of the AFC on notice, and allowed Bill Belichick to tie Tom Landry for 3rd most wins by a Head Coach in NFL history. Good luck in Oakland Mexico City next week.


Fixed in case any of you gamblers out there need the reminder that Oakland is not really the "home" team this weekend.
 
2017-11-14 01:21:47 PM  

tommyl66: Captain Steroid: New England Patriots
Patriots win on Sunday Night Football. What a f**king shocker. -_-

Tom Brady threw for 266 yds and 3 touchdowns against an invalid Broncos defense. RB Dion Lewis returned a 1st Quarter kickoff 103 yds for another touchdown. Your defense shutdown the Broncos at the best (or worst, depending on your POV) possible times.

In doing so, you've put the rest of the AFC on notice, and allowed Bill Belichick to tie Tom Landry for 3rd most wins by a Head Coach in NFL history. Good luck in Oakland Mexico City next week.

Fixed in case any of you gamblers out there need the reminder that Oakland is not really the "home" team this weekend.


I... I actually didn't know that. -_-'
 
2017-11-14 01:35:04 PM  

Captain Steroid: Detroit Lions
You sick b@stards spotted the Cleveland Browns 10 points, and then proceeded to crush the hopes and dreams of city's 1st win since the Obama Administration in the 2nd Quarter. You then lifted them AGAIN by letting them tie the game in the 3rd, only to smash them to pieces in the 4th.


I support the narrative of the Lions as the NFL's greatest monsters, and quietly ignore the fact that Cleveland put up 200+ rushing yards against us and we had to take out their qb to get the game back in our favor.
 
2017-11-14 01:39:10 PM  
The Bills make me ill. Mostly because they got us to buy in and then shiat all over us.
 
2017-11-14 01:42:32 PM  
On time for once, here's your FARK/FAIL system results for week 11:

1) Philadelphia (1)
2) New Orleans (2)
3) LA Rams (7)
4) Minnesota (6)
5) Pittsburgh (4)
6) Jacksonville (9)
7) New England (2)
8) Carolina (10)
9) Kansas City (5)
10) Atlanta (11)
11) Buffalo (16)
12) Seattle (8)
13) Dallas (13)
14) Detroit (14)
15) Tennessee (12)
16) Green Bay (17)
17) Baltimore (20)
18) Oakland (15)
19) Washington (18)
20) Denver (22)
21) Arizona (25)
22) Miami (26)
23) LA Chargers (19)
24) New York (J) (24)
25) Tampa Bay (23)
26) Houston (21)
27) Chicago (28)
28) Cincinnati (27)
29) Indianapolis (29)
30) New York (G) (30)
31) San Francisco (31)
32) Cleveland (32)

Parentheses are ESPN's rankings

The Patriots and the Texans Are Too Damn High: -5 compared to ESPN
The Bills Are Too Damn Low: +5 compared to ESPN
 
2017-11-14 01:45:58 PM  

phimuskapsi: The Bills make me ill. Mostly because they got us to buy in and then shiat all over us.


♫ ... as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be.... ♫
 
2017-11-14 01:54:40 PM  

nmrsnr: On time for once, here's your FARK/FAIL system results for week 11:

1) Philadelphia (1)
2) New Orleans (2)
3) LA Rams (7)
4) Minnesota (6)
5) Pittsburgh (4)
6) Jacksonville (9)
7) New England (2)
8) Carolina (10)
9) Kansas City (5)
10) Atlanta (11)
11) Buffalo (16)
12) Seattle (8)
13) Dallas (13)
14) Detroit (14)
15) Tennessee (12)
16) Green Bay (17)
17) Baltimore (20)
18) Oakland (15)
19) Washington (18)
20) Denver (22)
21) Arizona (25)
22) Miami (26)
23) LA Chargers (19)
24) New York (J) (24)
25) Tampa Bay (23)
26) Houston (21)
27) Chicago (28)
28) Cincinnati (27)
29) Indianapolis (29)
30) New York (G) (30)
31) San Francisco (31)
32) Cleveland (32)

Parentheses are ESPN's rankings

The Patriots and the Texans Are Too Damn High: -5 compared to ESPN
The Bills Are Too Damn Low: +5 compared to ESPN


Little nfc bias huh?
 
2017-11-14 01:58:39 PM  
So the Rams and Jaguars are both in the top nine, and look like they belong there.

Do I still have time to begin doomsday preparations, or am I farked?
 
2017-11-14 02:00:48 PM  

smerfnablin: nmrsnr: On time for once, here's your FARK/FAIL system results for week 11:

1) Philadelphia (1)
2) New Orleans (2)
3) LA Rams (7)
4) Minnesota (6)
5) Pittsburgh (4)
6) Jacksonville (9)
7) New England (2)
8) Carolina (10)
9) Kansas City (5)
10) Atlanta (11)
11) Buffalo (16)
12) Seattle (8)
13) Dallas (13)
14) Detroit (14)
15) Tennessee (12)
16) Green Bay (17)
17) Baltimore (20)
18) Oakland (15)
19) Washington (18)
20) Denver (22)
21) Arizona (25)
22) Miami (26)
23) LA Chargers (19)
24) New York (J) (24)
25) Tampa Bay (23)
26) Houston (21)
27) Chicago (28)
28) Cincinnati (27)
29) Indianapolis (29)
30) New York (G) (30)
31) San Francisco (31)
32) Cleveland (32)

Parentheses are ESPN's rankings

The Patriots and the Texans Are Too Damn High: -5 compared to ESPN
The Bills Are Too Damn Low: +5 compared to ESPN

Little nfc bias huh?


Normally, I would agree, but the NFC is absolutely clobbering the AFC in the inter-conference games this year.
 
2017-11-14 02:01:05 PM  

prickly pete v2: So the Rams and Jaguars are both in the top nine, and look like they belong there.

Do I still have time to begin doomsday preparations, or am I farked?


You should start now. The Lions overtaking the Vikings to win the division is the seventh and final seal to be lifted before the end of the world begins.

/probably won't happen tho
 
2017-11-14 02:02:07 PM  
Thank God the Browns are still Browning, or I'd really be worried.
 
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