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(NYPost)   What's the longest running lie you had to keep up?   ( nypost.com) divider line
    More: Fake, Coast Guard, United States Coast Guard, Sea Nymph, Canadian Coast Guard, Appel, Kim Ki-duk, Storm, Jennifer Appel  
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432 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 09 Nov 2017 at 8:20 AM (28 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-11-09 08:15:23 AM  
It's been about 10 years of denying that I have a Fark account.
 
2017-11-09 08:19:44 AM  
I'd tell you, but then it wouldn't really be keeping up the appearance of the lie, would it.
 
2017-11-09 08:19:48 AM  
That I know nothing.
 
2017-11-09 08:20:58 AM  
That I know something.
 
2017-11-09 08:21:05 AM  
That I'm not a meat robot.
 
2017-11-09 08:35:37 AM  
That dress doesn't make you look fat.
 
2017-11-09 08:36:43 AM  
Competence.
 
2017-11-09 08:38:13 AM  
Not really a lie, and not mine but a friend of mine cheated on the women who is now his wife when they first started being together years ago and were barely serious. I've told him that he already farked up by telling me  and to to carry that shiat to the grave.
 
2017-11-09 08:44:40 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 08:45:36 AM  
I don't lie. Ever. No really. I mean it. Who wastes the mental bandwidth for that shiat?

I once told a girl I was dating that I thought the the girl I was seeing before her was better looking. Because she asked and she was. But it wasn't like it was a blowout, talking the difference between an 8 and half and a 9.

Do not ask me a question you might not like the answer too.

The closest I've been able to get to lying in my old age is keep my damn mouth shut.
 
2017-11-09 08:47:22 AM  
That I'm not straight.  It started back in college when I needed to get my Mother off my back about finding a girl friend.  So I told her I was gay.

For years I had to hide that it wasn't true.  Eventually they accepted the lie, so I had to stop using it as an excuse to avoid them.   That's why I brought home a good friend of mine, "Peter", home for the holidays and introduced him as my boyfriend.   Now Peter... wasn't a good actor.  Fortunately though, he "was" gay.  So any mannerisms I was missing was more than made up for in authenticity by my new 'partner'... so my family never even questioned it.  Over the ensuing months, me and "Peter" had to move in together in order to keep up the appearance.   He knew I wasn't gay.  I knew I wasn't gay.   We just had a lot in common.  

Finally, back in the Obama administration... we got married, strictly for tax purposes.  We'd been living together for years.   Once I was assured that we could cancel it at any time if the right girl showed up, we got married.

But I'm not gay.

/any time now.
 
2017-11-09 08:50:36 AM  

Boudyro: I don't lie. Ever. No really. I mean it. Who wastes the mental bandwidth for that shiat?

I once told a girl I was dating that I thought the the girl I was seeing before her was better looking. Because she asked and she was. But it wasn't like it was a blowout, talking the difference between an 8 and half and a 9.

Do not ask me a question you might not like the answer too.

The closest I've been able to get to lying in my old age is keep my damn mouth shut.


There's a difference between lying and not being a socially inept autist.
 
2017-11-09 09:09:48 AM  

Egoy3k: Not really a lie, and not mine but a friend of mine cheated on the women who is now his wife


Mormon?
 
2017-11-09 09:10:11 AM  
My mental adultivity.
 
2017-11-09 09:17:38 AM  
That I want anything to do with 99% of the people I meet, work with or for? Why do you think I play the stupid lottery when it gets high?
 
2017-11-09 09:18:38 AM  
12 inches.

/actually 9.5
 
2017-11-09 09:18:52 AM  

This text is now purple: Egoy3k: Not really a lie, and not mine but a friend of mine cheated on the women who is now his wife

Mormon?


No just me doing my mormon impression by not having had my morning coffee.
 
2017-11-09 09:24:06 AM  
I'm not actually the Lindbergh baby.
 
2017-11-09 09:30:25 AM  
Im a boy?
 
2017-11-09 09:34:41 AM  
That I'm a normal human and not a self centered sociopath with zero empathy.
 
2017-11-09 09:34:59 AM  
When I answer someone's "how are you??" with some version of "okay" or "fine".

That's been going on for almost 39 years.
 
2017-11-09 09:40:12 AM  
That I wasn't clinically depressed for all of my adult life.  That lie came to end with an embarrassing and public breakdown that ended my career.
 
2017-11-09 09:40:15 AM  
The actual parentage of more than one relative.
 
2017-11-09 09:40:53 AM  

Subtonic: Boudyro: I don't lie. Ever. No really. I mean it. Who wastes the mental bandwidth for that shiat?

I once told a girl I was dating that I thought the the girl I was seeing before her was better looking. Because she asked and she was. But it wasn't like it was a blowout, talking the difference between an 8 and half and a 9.

Do not ask me a question you might not like the answer too.

The closest I've been able to get to lying in my old age is keep my damn mouth shut.

There's a difference between lying and not being a socially inept autist.


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 09:49:11 AM  

Kellner21: When I answer someone's "how are you??" with some version of "okay" or "fine".

That's been going on for almost 39 years.


So very true.
 
2017-11-09 09:54:06 AM  

Boudyro: I don't lie. Ever. No really. I mean it.


That's a lie.

:)
 
2017-11-09 09:55:01 AM  
The identity of my alt.
 
2017-11-09 10:10:38 AM  
No "Honey, I love you"s yet?
 
2017-11-09 10:12:57 AM  

Pocket Ninja: The identity of my alt.

Clearly, you are Bevets or QA...

 
2017-11-09 10:15:41 AM  
That wasn't my penis in that picture.
 
2017-11-09 10:21:54 AM  

Reyito: That I'm not straight.  It started back in college when I needed to get my Mother off my back about finding a girl friend.  So I told her I was gay.

For years I had to hide that it wasn't true.  Eventually they accepted the lie, so I had to stop using it as an excuse to avoid them.   That's why I brought home a good friend of mine, "Peter", home for the holidays and introduced him as my boyfriend.   Now Peter... wasn't a good actor.  Fortunately though, he "was" gay.  So any mannerisms I was missing was more than made up for in authenticity by my new 'partner'... so my family never even questioned it.  Over the ensuing months, me and "Peter" had to move in together in order to keep up the appearance.   He knew I wasn't gay.  I knew I wasn't gay.   We just had a lot in common.  

Finally, back in the Obama administration... we got married, strictly for tax purposes.  We'd been living together for years.   Once I was assured that we could cancel it at any time if the right girl showed up, we got married.

But I'm not gay.

/any time now.


Reminded me of this.

Mr. Show - Angry Marriage
Youtube UfUv5t71_Xo
 
2017-11-09 10:25:13 AM  
I've never even been to the Texas Book Depository.
 
2017-11-09 10:37:23 AM  
It'll get bigger.
 
2017-11-09 10:39:07 AM  

Pocket Ninja: The identity of my alt.


Mike_LowELL.  I'm convinced of it.
 
2017-11-09 10:39:19 AM  

Gubbo


I'd tell you, but then it wouldn't really be keeping up the appearance of the lie, would it.



img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 10:46:13 AM  
That my husband's parents were married before they got pregnant with him.

/6 months, full term! It's a miracle!
 
2017-11-09 10:50:25 AM  

foo monkey: Pocket Ninja: The identity of my alt.

Mike_LowELL.  I'm convinced of it.


Could be Lucky LaRue.
 
2017-11-09 10:51:22 AM  

RogueWallEnthusiast: foo monkey: Pocket Ninja: The identity of my alt.

Mike_LowELL.  I'm convinced of it.

Could be Lucky LaRue.


Give me more credit than that guys.
 
2017-11-09 10:52:00 AM  

Reyito: That I'm not straight.  It started back in college when I needed to get my Mother off my back about finding a girl friend.  So I told her I was gay.

For years I had to hide that it wasn't true.  Eventually they accepted the lie, so I had to stop using it as an excuse to avoid them.   That's why I brought home a good friend of mine, "Peter", home for the holidays and introduced him as my boyfriend.   Now Peter... wasn't a good actor.  Fortunately though, he "was" gay.  So any mannerisms I was missing was more than made up for in authenticity by my new 'partner'... so my family never even questioned it.  Over the ensuing months, me and "Peter" had to move in together in order to keep up the appearance.   He knew I wasn't gay.  I knew I wasn't gay.   We just had a lot in common.

Finally, back in the Obama administration... we got married, strictly for tax purposes.  We'd been living together for years.   Once I was assured that we could cancel it at any time if the right girl showed up, we got married.

But I'm not gay.

/any time now.


And the time you let them walk in the bedroom while he was plowing your ass was just to allay their suspicions, right?

/oblig.
 
2017-11-09 10:52:13 AM  
I'm kidding of course.

/or am I?
//I am
 
2017-11-09 11:00:48 AM  

edmo: I've never even been to the Texas Book Depository.


Me too!
 
2017-11-09 11:03:05 AM  
I could tell you, but then I'd have to


own up to it.
 
2017-11-09 11:04:01 AM  
These are, in fact, the droids that they've been looking for.
 
2017-11-09 11:13:10 AM  
No need to lie if the right questions aren't asked
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 11:27:10 AM  
My friend told a lie as a joke to his girlfriend and didn't fess up for over 15 years. When they were dating she met his brother who was a real jerk. She asked my friend why his brother "Mark" was such an asshole and my friend said, "Oh, he's been that way since the accident." When she pressed for details he told her that Mark had been in a water skiing accident and his testicles had been ripped off. Ever since he'd just been in a rotten mood. His girlfriend was horrified and felt so bad for Mark that she went out of her way to be nice to him. Years later, they are married with kids and I'm with them at a family party. Mark is going around being a real putz and I said something about it. She turned to me and said, "You shouldn't be so hard on him. He's just that way because of the accident." I expressed my confusion and she told me the story that my friend had told her. I started laughing and told her that Mark had never been in an accident but was just naturally an asshole. She stormed up to my friend and yelled at him. He started laughing which brought everyone over. Naturally when Mark found out it was all about him and his balls, he became an even bigger asshole.
 
2017-11-09 11:31:55 AM  
Not finding my mother's runaway dog. "Nope. He's not in "X" neighborhood."  That was 30 years ago.

/hated that dog
//full-blood Yorkie
///tired of having to retrieve him every time he got loose
 
2017-11-09 11:37:46 AM  
I don't really have a tiny thingie like I tell everyone.
 
2017-11-09 11:40:08 AM  
Had to fake believing in the bible/god after my parents paid a shiatload of money for me to go to Catholic school for 12 years.  My poor mother, she is such a devote Catholic.  I just think it is all a bit too far fetched for my taste.  Even around third grade I kept thinking, well if all this stuff is true, then God must be a real asshole.  lol
 
2017-11-09 12:37:00 PM  
I've honestly lost track.
 
2017-11-09 12:42:32 PM  
Santa Claus
 
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