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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: My brother's girlfriend has breast cancer. She thinks medicine is evil and corrupt and is going the naturopathy route; she went full vegan, and is doing mental exercises. She'll die; it will ruin my brother. How screwed up is this?"   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Cat, brother, modern medical treatment, wrong reasons, new GF, naturopathy rabbit hole, right thing, total radio silence  
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704 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 07 Nov 2017 at 8:50 AM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-07 07:08:34 AM  
Unlike cancer, there is no scientific treatment to fix stupid.
 
2017-11-07 07:28:11 AM  
Suggest to your brother that he discuss filling out and paying for a death insurance policy on his girlfriend.  Simply explain, I care about you, and I disagree with what you are doing, but I know I can't stop you.  To show you how concerned I am, I would bet on a life insurance policy for you, because I know the path you have chosen will lead to death.
 
2017-11-07 07:37:21 AM  
Maybe she doesn't actually have cancer. If she's such an antimedicine loon, who diagnosed this?
 
2017-11-07 07:44:57 AM  
It's her funeral.
 
2017-11-07 07:45:52 AM  
It is all the messed up.

I mean, if the doctors gave me a month to live, and said chemo could make it two but I'd be miserably sick and wishing for the end, then I'd pass on the chemo. But this isn't that.

Why don't people believe medicine.
 
2017-11-07 07:47:10 AM  
KHITBASH into chemotherapy.

My mum died from complications of breast cancer, so anyone downright stupid enough to not seek treatment as soon as they find out deserves to be whacked with a Mallet of Farking Common Sense +1.
 
2017-11-07 07:47:55 AM  
"In Trump's America? It's probably the best option she's going to get, and we wish her the best of luck."
 
2017-11-07 08:15:59 AM  

Gubbo: It is all the messed up.

I mean, if the doctors gave me a month to live, and said chemo could make it two but I'd be miserably sick and wishing for the end, then I'd pass on the chemo. But this isn't that.

Why don't people believe medicine.


Hell if I know. Even Steve Jobs, who had a rare form of pancreatic cancer that was actually treatable, lost his life because he opted for some pseudoscientific claptrap.
 
2017-11-07 08:25:04 AM  
I wouldn't seek treatment for breast cancer either.  We're all going to die of something.  Why cure cancer if you live long enough to get Alzheimer's? Or worse? Or outlive your retirement savings- if you even have any?  There are lots of people suffering in old age homes.  To me it's more important to have quality of life than quantity of life.  Plus I've read articles people have written about how drastically your life changes after breast cancer is gone - you're still on medications for years, your life is changed forever.
 
2017-11-07 08:44:06 AM  
If she was giving up then I don't really have an opinion, other than it being sad. Since she's trying to cure herself with fake treatments and positive thinking, she's a moron. I feel sorry for her partner.
 
2017-11-07 08:54:13 AM  

Miss5280: I wouldn't seek treatment for breast cancer either.  We're all going to die of something.  Why cure cancer if you live long enough to get Alzheimer's? Or worse? Or outlive your retirement savings- if you even have any?  There are lots of people suffering in old age homes.  To me it's more important to have quality of life than quantity of life.  Plus I've read articles people have written about how drastically your life changes after breast cancer is gone - you're still on medications for years, your life is changed forever.


"I'd let myself die in misery from a treatable condition because I might get something else or run out of money" is the hottest of all takes
 
2017-11-07 08:57:10 AM  

hobbes0022: Suggest to your brother that he discuss filling out and paying for a death insurance policy on his girlfriend.  Simply explain, I care about you, and I disagree with what you are doing, but I know I can't stop you.  To show you how concerned I am, I would bet on a life insurance policy for you, because I know the path you have chosen will lead to death.


Good luck finding a policy worth buying that wouldn't include an evaluation that would discover she was actively pursuing dying of cancer.
 
2017-11-07 09:02:57 AM  
Tell her that there are obscure ancient scrolls written by Tibetan mystics that indicate her cancer can be cured with butt stuff.
 
2017-11-07 09:17:31 AM  
I just want to know why tying ribbons around her liver is the answer. If she had brain cancer should she stuff ribbons up her ass?
 
2017-11-07 09:19:48 AM  
Her body, her choice.
 
2017-11-07 09:21:44 AM  
Very.
 
2017-11-07 09:25:21 AM  
Its here body and her life. You cant make her do something like that against her will just so a third person will feel good. What kind of monster are you? Is your name Herman Goering?
 
2017-11-07 09:29:13 AM  
Prudence pretend audience is apparently 90% cat ladies and lesbians.

(probably some overlap there)
 
2017-11-07 09:30:48 AM  
Tell her about Steve Jobs, ask if she knows what he is up to these days.
 
2017-11-07 09:32:26 AM  

PlaidJaguar: Tell her that there are obscure ancient scrolls written by Tibetan mystics that indicate her cancer can be cured with butt stuff.


No, no, no.  Ass ribbons treat lupus.  It's like you don't even understand pseudoscience.
 
2017-11-07 09:36:23 AM  

Miss5280: I wouldn't seek treatment for breast cancer either.  We're all going to die of something.  Why cure cancer if you live long enough to get Alzheimer's? Or worse? Or outlive your retirement savings- if you even have any?  There are lots of people suffering in old age homes.  To me it's more important to have quality of life than quantity of life.  Plus I've read articles people have written about how drastically your life changes after breast cancer is gone - you're still on medications for years, your life is changed forever.


I think I have found my new ex girlfriend...as soon as my first wife dumps me.
 
2017-11-07 09:37:13 AM  
Dear Reader: "Wow, that is jacked up. And it's totally outside your control."
 
2017-11-07 09:37:28 AM  

Miss5280: I wouldn't seek treatment for breast cancer either.  We're all going to die of something.  Why cure cancer if you live long enough to get Alzheimer's? Or worse? Or outlive your retirement savings- if you even have any?  There are lots of people suffering in old age homes.  To me it's more important to have quality of life than quantity of life.  Plus I've read articles people have written about how drastically your life changes after breast cancer is gone - you're still on medications for years, your life is changed forever.


My mother has been cancer free for five years now after going through radiation treatment for her duct tumor.
Her life is unchanged.
Scratch that, she is enjoying spending untold hours per week with her grandkids, which she might not have seen if she died a few years ago.
 
2017-11-07 09:39:51 AM  

DanInKansas: Dear Reader: "Wow, that is jacked up. And it's totally outside your control."


That's 90% of her letters.

Can you take out a life insurance policy on a third party or is that illegal?
 
2017-11-07 09:45:08 AM  
Some people have a fear of chemotherapy. "I've seen those people on TV. No way!"
Could be she's too vain to lose hair.
Or she's reallyinto food and can't imagine not having an appetite.
Can't make anyone do the right thing.
Say goodbye now. When it's too late for treatment and she's freaking out, it'll be hard to watch. Or maybe she'll accept it.
Good luck, person.
 
2017-11-07 09:46:20 AM  
Why not both you stupid assholes? Go on a keto diet AND do chemo. Take 1ppm essence of garlic AND have medicine injected into you. Then when you get better you can be a smug douchebag about how the garlic saved you, but you thought the chemo helped too.
 
2017-11-07 09:49:00 AM  

Miss5280: I wouldn't seek treatment for breast cancer either.  We're all going to die of something.  Why cure cancer if you live long enough to get Alzheimer's? Or worse? Or outlive your retirement savings- if you even have any?  There are lots of people suffering in old age homes.  To me it's more important to have quality of life than quantity of life.  Plus I've read articles people have written about how drastically your life changes after breast cancer is gone - you're still on medications for years, your life is changed forever.


Well, there it is. And it's only 9:48am.
 
2017-11-07 09:49:37 AM  

Big Beef Burrito: Prudence pretend audience is apparently 90% cat ladies and lesbians.

(probably some overlap there)


Think about it for a minute. Fake audience. Fake stories. Drew Curtis...Prudence...DRU C. PEEN.

I'm guessing Prudence is just one of Drew's many pseudonyms.
 
2017-11-07 09:53:02 AM  
Okay, it's Tuesday which starts with T which rhymes with P which stands for Prudence!

1) Make the best of a bad situation.  Bring over guacamole and veggie chips on Saturday to watch college football.  I could give you advice on how to handle them, but honestly, this is knocking a future flat-earther out of the gene pool.  Let's chalk this up as a win for humanity.

2) He obviously has a history of making good decisions.  If the job was THAT important and it could jeapordize the safety of everyone, shame on you for not reporting it sooner.  As it is, he's a few months away from blowing hobo's in back alleys and underpasses for a fix.  Unless you want to come home to a house that's been stripped bare, chalk this up as a win and find someone else.

3) Did her dog survive?  Did the surgery go well?  You didn't tell the full story here, you heartless monster.  If you want to be a puppy killer, get with Michael Vick, but here at Prudence we like animals and do not condone any violence against them.

4) Lot's of dog hate in today's Prudence.  OK, so you don't like dogs and you married a dog person.  You have two options, get a cat and force everyone in the family to accept that you are a cat household now (Honestly, this is the ONLY way cat people stick with just one cat, they are dog people or in relationships with dog people but want an excuse to not have a dog) or double down and act insane if 'dog' is even mentioned.  I'm talking fall down screaming, crying and flailing arms.  For a few months they will attribute this to pregnancy hormones, but after the kid is born and your still jumping on the floor if someone brings a hot dog over, because it's a type of dog, they'll get the idea.

5) If you have cancer, and you are going to cure it with vegetables and imagining ribbons around your liver, the American Cancer Society might as well be a magical unicorn farting rainbows.

6) They are called prostitues.  You pay them to leave after sex and not ask questions or expect anything else.  Really, crunch the numbers.  What is your time worth?  Now calculate that against how many hours you spent "teaching her son to be a man".  Now, count the number of times you had sex.  Divide the amount you spent on teaching her son by the times you had sex.  THAT is the amount you should spend on a prostitute.

7) People don't like to place a number on lives, be it peoples lives or animals.  Saying this, if you go the animal shelter by my house it costs $75 to adopt a dog and $5 to adopt a cat.  They will spay/neuter the cat for free.

8) COUGAR!  It's nice and all that you have become close to someone the same age as your son, but what will your husband say when he finds out?

9) The revenge angle?  OK, this is the better answer.  Call up his (ex?)wife, have a torrid affair with her.  Open your horizons, this is the person he would not leave for you, so she must have something you didn't offer.  Find out what it is and take it from her, so the next love of your life will leave everyone behind to be with you.

That's it for Tuesday morning.  Have a great day, and don't forget to vote for Akula.
 
2017-11-07 10:03:01 AM  

squidloe: Miss5280: I wouldn't seek treatment for breast cancer either.  We're all going to die of something.  Why cure cancer if you live long enough to get Alzheimer's? Or worse? Or outlive your retirement savings- if you even have any?  There are lots of people suffering in old age homes.  To me it's more important to have quality of life than quantity of life.  Plus I've read articles people have written about how drastically your life changes after breast cancer is gone - you're still on medications for years, your life is changed forever.

Well, there it is. And it's only 9:48am.


10:03AM here, but yeah.
 
2017-11-07 10:11:51 AM  
"my brother was going through some things and I thought a cat would help him feel better. Long story short, my brother ended up going to jail..."

Man, that cat was a bad influence.


All right, which of you Farkers wrote this?
 
2017-11-07 10:11:53 AM  

hobbes0022: Suggest to your brother that he discuss filling out and paying for a death insurance policy on his girlfriend.  Simply explain, I care about you, and I disagree with what you are doing, but I know I can't stop you.  To show you how concerned I am, I would bet on a life insurance policy for you, because I know the path you have chosen will lead to death.


Think you're going to find a HARD time getting a life insurance company to go for this after she has cancer and especially when they find out she's not being treated for it.
 
2017-11-07 10:13:24 AM  
She'll die; it will ruin my brother

Are you kidding? He'll parlay that grief into more tail than Jeter on a Friday night in the 90's.
 
2017-11-07 10:13:41 AM  
What a lot of the articles don't show and what isn't written about as much is not so much the people that die from opting for "alternative treatments" that are little more than snake oil medicine, but how many sick patients simply have no other choice, because the insurance has stopped covering their treatments. Or they have to move to Mexico where the treatments are the same, but more affordable. Or they try those but die anyway.

I think sometimes that all this publicity about the evils of not using "real medicine" fails to recognize that sometimes "real medicine" is priced so high that people die because they can't afford to pay the cost of treatment.
 
2017-11-07 10:19:34 AM  
Find a palliative care facility now.  Morphine will be her new best friend.
 
2017-11-07 10:46:44 AM  
not married... just a girlfriend?  update your OKcupid profile and put in no cancer patients and no morons.
 
2017-11-07 10:47:11 AM  

Miss5280: I wouldn't seek treatment for breast cancer either.  We're all going to die of something.  Why cure cancer if you live long enough to get Alzheimer's? Or worse? Or outlive your retirement savings- if you even have any?  There are lots of people suffering in old age homes.  To me it's more important to have quality of life than quantity of life.  Plus I've read articles people have written about how drastically your life changes after breast cancer is gone - you're still on medications for years, your life is changed forever.


Umm, you might want to rethink that.  My wife had it several years ago. It was caught early, and a combination of surgery, radiation and drugs have basically cured her.  Yes, she has some scarring.  Yes, the drugs have some side effects.  But neither is even remotely something anyone would be willing to die over.

/Plus, she has the hardest of hardcore tattoos

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-07 10:47:33 AM  
I'm Sure Happy It's Tuesday because it means more Prudie to riff on!

1) Ever hear of a guy named Darwin? It's a good thing your brother is a widower, he's got experience with burying romantic partners.

2) You have been carrying on an on-again and off-again affair with a married guy for a long time and you think the worst in you was reporting him for drug use? You're pretty damned dumb, you know that? I get the feeling you're the reason why we have warning labels on electrical appliances warning us to not use them in the bath. I might suggest naturopathy for any health concerns you may have. It seems right for you.

3) It's apparently awful person day here on Dear Prudence! This seems like a perfect time to sue your sister. Only through the intervention of the courtroom can she realize the wrong she's done and put you all on the road to restoration of the relationship. You'll get your money AND your sister back! Make sure the process server gets to her before the holidays so you have something to talk about.

4) You poor thing. You're learning why dogs are better than people. They don't mock people for their trauma, they don't force trouble on others. Yes, some dogs are bad, just like some people are bad- like your in-laws! I think your therapy hasn't been intensive enough. Have you tried associating feelings of pleasure and fun with dogs? I suggest telling your husband that you want to do it doggy style as a way to do this.

5) It's somebody butting into a situation to help somebody else butting into yet another situation! It's like buttinception!

6) You're learning why some people are unmarried/divorced. The ones who are normal and not broken at your age are already in long term committed relationships. Sounds like you're going to have to get used to repeated short term flings with meaningless sex. I suggest you get a Porsche and a hot tub. They will go well with the lifestyle.

7) Oh, for fark's sake. Now we're all wound around the axle over a damned cat? And not just any cat, but a sick one? I haven't had near enough whiskey yet today to deal with you. NEXT!

8) What should you do? Head over to your favorite porn site. Find the mature category. Follow the tips you find. This doesn't have to be hard. Well, he does, but you know what I mean.

9) You're a huge cynic? Have you tried diet and exercise? There really is no magic bullet when it comes to losing weight, you know.
 
2017-11-07 10:50:53 AM  
After my wife died this summer, I was diagnosed with cancer about 2 months later.  I should start chemo next week.

As my wife isn't there to talk to all the time, I find myself talking to lots of different people instead.

I am amazed by the amount of "vegan" types who want to tell me that chemo is going to poison me.  "Are you SURE you want to do chemo?

yeah, no kidding.  that's its job.  No, I don't want to do chemo.  No one does. But I don't wanna die either.

Platinum is bad for you to ingest, who'd have guessed?  This is not a secret that Dr Mercola is exclusively privy to. You think carrots kill cancer? cause I eat lots of carrots.  I loves me some kale.  I don't think that helps.

All I am saying is that its okay to be brainwashed by alternative science.  Until your life is on the line.  Then maybe you might want to listen to the tens of thousands of people who have dedicated their genius, efforts, money and lives to making sure you have the best chance to survive.

Or you could just try the popeye method and die in six months.
 
2017-11-07 10:58:01 AM  

I sound fat: Then maybe you might want to listen to the tens of thousands of people who have dedicated their genius, efforts, money and lives to making sure you have the best chance to survive.


And yet this is in your profile...

Global warming: Really? you actually believe that you are so powerful as humans that you can harm this ecosystem in any significant way? The earth is stronger than us.
 
2017-11-07 11:20:05 AM  
well she is ignorant but she did get the corrupt part right.
 
2017-11-07 11:24:34 AM  
Oh woe is me, my partner will tell my in-laws off for being horrible to me but I can't tell him because.....I'm a moron who would rather feel hurt than have my problem solved. What do?
 
2017-11-07 11:27:56 AM  
It sucks, but it's not your problem.  Your brother is going to have a hard time, so you can be there for him, but it's not your problem.
 
2017-11-07 11:28:04 AM  
Very.
 
2017-11-07 11:31:30 AM  

Cubicle Jockey: I sound fat: Then maybe you might want to listen to the tens of thousands of people who have dedicated their genius, efforts, money and lives to making sure you have the best chance to survive.

And yet this is in your profile...

Global warming: Really? you actually believe that you are so powerful as humans that you can harm this ecosystem in any significant way? The earth is stronger than us.


You don't see a difference.  sheep.. :)
 
2017-11-07 11:40:52 AM  

I sound fat: After my wife died this summer, I was diagnosed with cancer about 2 months later.  I should start chemo next week.

As my wife isn't there to talk to all the time, I find myself talking to lots of different people instead.

I am amazed by the amount of "vegan" types who want to tell me that chemo is going to poison me.  "Are you SURE you want to do chemo?

yeah, no kidding.  that's its job.  No, I don't want to do chemo.  No one does. But I don't wanna die either.

Platinum is bad for you to ingest, who'd have guessed?  This is not a secret that Dr Mercola is exclusively privy to. You think carrots kill cancer? cause I eat lots of carrots.  I loves me some kale.  I don't think that helps.

All I am saying is that its okay to be brainwashed by alternative science.  Until your life is on the line.  Then maybe you might want to listen to the tens of thousands of people who have dedicated their genius, efforts, money and lives to making sure you have the best chance to survive.

Or you could just try the popeye method and die in six months.


Oh my dearest lord of gods above, you have missed the best option here.  Ghost for a few months.  After your hair grows back, but you haven't put on the weight, jump in full force and tell them you feel great.  The cancer is cured and gone, you are in the best shape of your life and it's all due to the vegan lifestyle.

Then, just as they are excitedly jumping up and down that it worked with someone and they had a convert, you seal the deal by convincing them that you shove carrots up the pooper for best effect.  2 to three times a day.  Baby carrots at first, but then you work to full, raw, carrots.  Tell them you saw it online, and it works.

You might have to practice this in the mirror, but you need to deadpan it.  Tell them that shoving a carrot up the derrier is the one and only secret to a long, healthy, cancer-free lifestyle.  If they do anything other than agree with you, tell them to go to hell and leave.  If they do agree with you, pull out a baby carrot and tell them to start right away.  Pull this one all the way through, it's God's own orange suppository.

No, this will not cure your cancer, but when you wake up at three in the morning and can't go back to sleep, you can at least have a chuckle knowing that someone, somewhere out there, has a carrot up their arse because of you.

\Cancer sucks
\\Sorry to hear the story
\\\Hope you got a chuckle.
 
2017-11-07 04:09:51 PM  
Just find an oncologist who will lie and say it isn't chemo.  It is a new form of organic colonics.  "Oh this stuff we are injecting you with?  It is made from dandelion oil, and it clears the glutten from your tumors."
 
2017-11-07 04:34:32 PM  
Find out how well "My girlfriend is dying of cancer" works as a pickup line.
 
2017-11-07 06:38:45 PM  

Big Beef Burrito: Prudence pretend audience is apparently 90% cat ladies and lesbians.

(probably some overlap there)


It's all about the pussy.
 
2017-11-08 09:14:21 AM  
Sounds like everybody wins.  What's the problem?  Another self medicated, self important anti medicine twat dead.  He gets to move on to someone who loves life.  Win.
 
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