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(Fark)   Shouldn't pregnant people be worried that their babies might eat their way out?   ( fark.com) divider line
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2268 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 Sep 2017 at 10:33 PM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-09-29 09:17:16 PM  
9 votes:
Babies are barely-sentient parasites who are continually fed and resting quite comfortably (in most circumstances). Birth is basically the landlady evicting a freeloading tenant. On other words, why would they want to ruin such a good thing?
2017-09-29 11:23:54 PM  
6 votes:

Moderator: Geek tab we need your scientific help.


Babies usually don't get teeth until they're six months out of the womb.
Babies do not understand cause and effect until they're out of the womb a bit as well. They rely on reflexes early on to open their mouths and eat.
They are fed through the umbilical cord while in utero and therefore do not experience hunger.
The amniotic sac is surprisingly strong, and despite popular belief, usually (90% of the time) doesn't rupture until after labor has started.
Even if the sac is broken somehow, the cervix must also dilate. Sometimes doctors are able to keep the cervix from dilating, and other times, the sac can leak but the cervix will stay closed.

There. Science'd.

Pregnant women do need to fear being kicked by the baby in the bladder and the ribs though. It hurts.
2017-09-29 09:53:57 PM  
4 votes:

raerae1980: Some days im comfortable with not having kids.   Other days i feel regretful.   (._. )


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2017-09-29 09:33:10 PM  
3 votes:
The grasp of biology in this thread, it troubles me.
2017-09-29 09:24:52 PM  
3 votes:

daphne: THIS got a green?  Mods trying to make us look special ed?  WTF?  To answer subby's question, babby is fed quite adequately through the umbilical cord, unless it is an undead zom baby and are you watching the Dawn of the Dead remake?  Is that it?

/cranky


You sound hormonal. Are you pregnant?
2017-09-29 11:05:39 PM  
2 votes:
Fark really is a special place.
2017-09-29 10:20:14 PM  
2 votes:

Chris Ween: birdmanesq: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: birdmanesq: Chiara if she's a girl.

And a stripper.

That's my daughter's name.

You named your daughter Stripper?  Man, we have to talk.


birds is hard corpse.
2017-09-29 10:09:37 PM  
2 votes:

IvyLady: Ohmerda..

Which loosely translates to "oh sh*t" in Italian....right?


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2017-09-29 09:42:32 PM  
2 votes:
All of you have just made Jesus cry. All of you.
2017-09-29 09:31:53 PM  
2 votes:

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: birdmanesq: The Geek Tab?

Well, this will dissolve into cunnilingus jokes in under 50 posts.

Should it go into Politics then?


Those guys know nothing about cunnilingus.
2017-09-29 09:30:26 PM  
2 votes:
babies don't have teef, subs.  that's why they wait a while and then headbutt their way out.
2017-09-29 09:19:00 PM  
2 votes:
Well...Ween's drunk.
2017-09-29 09:18:46 PM  
2 votes:
a.ltrbxd.comView Full Size
2017-09-30 03:29:00 PM  
1 vote:

raerae1980: Chris Ween: sarahthustra: i have to image i'm delicious.

I think I'm marbled or just engorged like veal.

Bacon.  I bet we taste like bacon.....


Not really. But if you did, guys would be spending a lot more time down there.
2017-09-30 09:48:08 AM  
1 vote:
I've been trying to eat my way in for years.
2017-09-29 11:23:37 PM  
1 vote:

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: no1curr: Babies are barely-sentient parasites who are continually fed and resting quite comfortably (in most circumstances). Birth is basically the landlady evicting a freeloading tenant. On other words, why would they want to ruin such a good thing?

Babies constantly eat?  I figured they got fed when the woman eats and it just goes down the umbilical cord?


Just like your other organs constantly do their job. There isn't an "on" cycle for this...
2017-09-29 11:06:10 PM  
1 vote:

Mr. Fuzzypaws: Is there a sampler?


no, but i'll let you know when one is available.  one of my chef friends has specific instructions to curry me upon my death, untimely or otherwise.
2017-09-29 10:50:39 PM  
1 vote:
We are made of meat.
2017-09-29 10:05:12 PM  
1 vote:
fukarf.comView Full Size
2017-09-29 10:02:39 PM  
1 vote:

mitchcumstein1: Can we suggest names?


Permanent Sharpier
2017-09-29 10:01:37 PM  
1 vote:
So, uhhhh...

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2017-09-29 09:50:50 PM  
1 vote:

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*

We figure this is a souvenir from our Sonoma trip. Where we, haha, incidentally enough, were having a talk about Mr. S  scheduling a vasectomy.

/sobs
//pukes


Does adding wine help get babby formed?
2017-09-29 09:36:44 PM  
1 vote:
The uterus is a very tough organ, and a small baby can't manage to chew threw it with bony little gums.

Well, that baby Alien thing could.
2017-09-29 09:28:45 PM  
1 vote:
I LOVE FARK FOOD THREADS
2017-09-29 09:26:12 PM  
1 vote:
I was a pregnant person, once.

Once.
2017-09-29 09:25:40 PM  
1 vote:

daphne: THIS got a green?  Mods trying to make us look special ed?  WTF?  To answer subby's question, babby is fed quite adequately through the umbilical cord, unless it is an undead zom baby and are you watching the Dawn of the Dead remake?  Is that it?

/cranky


Simmer down.  Come sit by me.
2017-09-29 09:15:44 PM  
1 vote:
No teeth, dummy. Can't gum your way out of a uterus.
2017-09-29 09:14:49 PM  
1 vote:
Oh my gosh, that explains so much of Trump's bejaviour
2017-09-29 09:13:06 PM  
1 vote:
Well I guess now we know the reason for babies' teeth not coming in for a few months after they're born.
 
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