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(Motor Racing Network)   Subby would submit a thread for the NASCAR NyQuil Cup Series' latest Chaseoff race this week, but the prospect of 300 boring laps at Snooze Hampshire's Sominex 300 at 2pm ET on NBCSN has already put him out like a light   ( mrn.com) divider line
    More: Live, Monster Energy NASCAR, NASCAR Cup Series, Sprint Cup Series, Energy NASCAR Cup, Jeff Gordon, NASCAR XFINITY Series, Tony Stewart, Series Series Pages  
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180 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 24 Sep 2017 at 1:30 PM (38 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2017-09-24 12:05:21 PM  
Who will be encumbered?  Find out tonight on NBCSN!
 
2017-09-24 01:03:06 PM  
NyQuil - don't drive without it!
~ #3 Dale Earnhardt
 
2017-09-24 01:30:20 PM  
Are you not sports entertained?

vignette4.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

Fat France is probably ramping things up to eleventy today.  But before that, here's....

Your weekly NASFARK checklist!  Ever-changing and updated on-the-fly, just like the NASCAR rulebook, but not written on an Etch-A-Sketch!
(Created and tweaked by bluorangefyreDanZero, with contributions from Professor FarksworthQueenMamaBeeMzltplx, and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)


1) Hardcore gredunzas count, and every 1,100th post is a form of, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"   (Defending double winner:  DanZero - claimed at the World 600!)
1.MIC)  Post 1,262 is any form of, "Forget the double and screw the gredunza, I've done the triple!!!"  (Defending triple winners:  mikaloyd & bluorangefyre - simulclaimed at the Daytona 500!)
2) While we were away!
3)  Constant reminders that Junior is retiring and what it'll do to the sport
4) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
5.1)  NO KYLE BUSCH IDOLS DUE TO THEY'RE FARKING DANGEROUS!!!
6) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
7) Green flag pit party
8) The inevitable race commentator foul up
9) Phantom cautions (Use Code 4-n, where n=car number of the beneficiary)
10) Pony deployment if Danica wrecks or is in the top 10
10.1) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL Q/DISCORD BE DEPLOYED! (rescinded for this race because reasons)
11)  HARUMPH! at each "competetion" caution or segment caution, and checking Brainless Fat France the Least's moisture levels
12-4-A1) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins and celebrations from his fan(s)
12-4-A2) Every single driver tries to take out Team Penske, specifically HWSNBN 2.2
13) Race is official when any BK Racing driver and/or Min-E brings out the caution
14) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
15) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
16) Something not meant to catch fire does
16.1) Something not meant to fly does
17) Shut up DW!
17.1)  Referring to DW as 'Lawler' when he starts talking about Danica

18) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
19) "Because #3 car" or "Crayons!"
20) Red flag classic car parade
21) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination that it won't end well
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Idol collateral damage warning
24) DanZero's commercial/side-by-side report
25) The Bestest with your current standings after every stage
26) Danica will kick somebody in the family jewels even after having something mansplained to her
27) "Here comes Dick Trickle!"
28) No third slashie because fark Austin Dillon!
29) Harvick shoves somebody into a fight
30) Do NOT deploy narwhals unless you want Macarena
31) Somebody questions the checklist
 
2017-09-24 01:34:32 PM  
pre-race standings!

1w. Truex - 2102 (+58)
2. Larson - 2075 (+33)
3. Harvick - 2067 (+15)
4. Keselowski - 2061 (+19)
5. KyBusch - 2061 (+30)
6. Hamlin - 2058 (+13)
7. Johnson - 2046 (+17)
8. Elliott - 2044 [-15] (+7)
9. Kenseth - 2039 (+5)
10. Blaney - 2034 (+8)
11. McMurray - 2031 (+3)
12. ADillon - 2026 (+5)
--------------------------
13. KuBusch - 2026 (+5)
14. Stenhouse - 2022 (+10)
15. Kahne - 2021 (+5)
16. Newman - 2019 (+5)

notes:
-Chase has been a naughty boy, docked 15 points
-Kahne has found a ride for next year: the 95 (pushing McDowell out)
 
2017-09-24 01:37:06 PM  
So... is KyBu gonna punt Kes or is Kes gonna punt KyBu?
 
2017-09-24 01:39:35 PM  

QueenMamaBee: So... is KyBu gonna punt Kes or is Kes gonna punt KyBu?


They're both in good position to advance just by finishing the race. I would imagine neither one would jeopardize that.
 
2017-09-24 01:45:24 PM  

The Bestest: QueenMamaBee: So... is KyBu gonna punt Kes or is Kes gonna punt KyBu?

They're both in good position to advance just by finishing the race. I would imagine neither one would jeopardize that.


Not unless one of them has a separate failure putting them down 5 or 7 laps...
 
2017-09-24 01:45:33 PM  
Working Sunday

Maybe it will rain and NASCAR will bust out rain tires to make things fun?
 
2017-09-24 01:47:57 PM  
I'm a Chase fan but have no idea why he got to gain 9 points after last weeks race, collected even $1 and didn't receive the official NASCAR Cucumber from Jowy
 
2017-09-24 01:51:14 PM  

RankStranger: I'm a Chase fan but have no idea why he got to gain 9 points after last weeks race, collected even $1 and didn't receive the official NASCAR Cucumber from Jowy


Speaking of Jowy, I'd love to see him doing an ad reminding people to not leave their pets or children in hot cars, considering NASCAR forced him to sit in his car with no outside contact for 50 minutes yesterday.
 
2017-09-24 01:51:30 PM  

RankStranger: I'm a Chase fan but have no idea why he got to gain 9 points after last weeks race, collected even $1 and didn't receive the official NASCAR Cucumber from Jowy


NASCAR rules are pretty clear about this (stop laughing); there's a chart that correlates infraction to severity of penalty. Now had he won, the automatic advancement and 5 playoff points would have been taken away.
 
2017-09-24 01:53:09 PM  
I wonder if anyone is going to kneel during the anthem.

That, and the lack of football right now (Donkos v Bills is the only game on, and bleh), is why I'm gonna bother with this snoozefest of a race.
 
2017-09-24 01:58:12 PM  
Only two years too late,  Hendrick has replaced Kasey's crew chief with The Darian Grubb

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


Maybe he stands a chance now.
 
2017-09-24 02:02:15 PM  
i couldn't believe when TC got killled the other day.  was always fun to watch in the modified and busch north races
 
2017-09-24 02:02:20 PM  
Once a jarhead, always a jarhead...
 
2017-09-24 02:02:37 PM  
Is the singing trooper going to sing or beat the piss out of someone?

I like his Jim Nabors delivery.
 
2017-09-24 02:02:42 PM  
did they try to get the most over the top guy to sing the anthem this week?
 
2017-09-24 02:03:18 PM  
I'll take "what's pacing?" for 200, Alex
 
2017-09-24 02:03:18 PM  
Kneeling is disrespectful, but this shiat is okay?
 
2017-09-24 02:03:29 PM  
is he trying to be scottish too?
 
2017-09-24 02:03:48 PM  
Well, that is a fine rendition.
 
2017-09-24 02:03:57 PM  
And the most interesting part of the race is now over.

Nappity Nappity Nappity, let's go snoozing, boys!
 
2017-09-24 02:04:21 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: did they try to get the most over the top guy to sing the anthem this week?


After Trump's tweets, probably. Need somebody to energize the crowd, not encourage people to sit or take a knee.
 
2017-09-24 02:05:41 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Dead for Tax Reasons: did they try to get the most over the top guy to sing the anthem this week?

After Trump's tweets, probably. Need somebody to energize the crowd, not encourage people to sit or take a knee.


Plus Fat France had to appease his orange friend, lest he get cut off from the good stuff from Colombia and Peru.
 
2017-09-24 02:06:13 PM  
I have no idea how Erik Jones has time to race and star on The Walking Dead

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-24 02:07:15 PM  
Can we please send the sunshine to Puerto Rico and Dominica?
 
2017-09-24 02:08:21 PM  
We have too much damn sunshine! It shouldn't be pushing 90 in Pennsylvania in Autumn!
 
2017-09-24 02:08:32 PM  
nothing near the track for a few miles so all they can show is the parking lot
 
2017-09-24 02:10:10 PM  
Hear the Ricky Bobby mansion is for sale, given how religion works I figure entreating 8lb 5oz Baby Jesus to smite 18, 2, 22 and HWSNBN from the original location would work really well
 
2017-09-24 02:10:57 PM  

bluorangefyre: We have too much damn sunshine! It shouldn't be pushing 90 in Pennsylvania in Autumn!


88 here in NY

must be pretty nice at the track.  september loudon is always a mystery for weather.  could be frost, could be 50 and rain, could be 85 and sun
 
2017-09-24 02:11:18 PM  
We have entirely too much sunshine. It was 92 yesterday
 
2017-09-24 02:15:04 PM  
kenseth going to be hard to identify with those colors.  siriusxm?  siriusly?
 
2017-09-24 02:17:59 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: kenseth going to be hard to identify with those colors.  siriusxm?  siriusly?


The only Sirius car that ever mattered

i.ebayimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-24 02:18:22 PM  
BOOGITY BOOGITYYYYYYYY........

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..​..........................

 
2017-09-24 02:18:58 PM  
Hey guys!

Is it bad I want Jowy to win just because the win won't count for anything now? I want to see it for the laughs.

BUT if it doesn't and wrecks or something, I'll still laugh about it. Because I'm evil.

/has PRN on
//DEN/BUF game on mute on TV
////no 3rd slashie cuz Asshat
 
2017-09-24 02:19:02 PM  

ElectricPeterTork: Dead for Tax Reasons: kenseth going to be hard to identify with those colors.  siriusxm?  siriusly?

The only Sirius car that ever mattered

[i.ebayimg.com image 300x231]


SiriusXM is in my Top 10 "How are they still in business?" List.
 
2017-09-24 02:19:41 PM  
Boogity^3
 
2017-09-24 02:19:43 PM  

bluorangefyre: We have too much damn sunshine! It shouldn't be pushing 90 in Pennsylvania in Autumn!


QueenMamaBee: We have entirely too much sunshine. It was 92 yesterday


I blame Blake Shelton specifically
 
2017-09-24 02:20:08 PM  
try some THC on the track next time instead of VHT
 
2017-09-24 02:20:24 PM  
Dear Lord, Tiny Infant Baby Jesus, please smite the 2, 48, 3, and 18.... then the 22 just for the lulz
 
2017-09-24 02:20:27 PM  

The Bestest: ElectricPeterTork: Dead for Tax Reasons: kenseth going to be hard to identify with those colors.  siriusxm?  siriusly?

The only Sirius car that ever mattered

[i.ebayimg.com image 300x231]

SiriusXM is in my Top 10 "How are they still in business?" List.


the auto industry.
 
2017-09-24 02:20:39 PM  
Why are they using sticky stuff on the track?
 
2017-09-24 02:21:13 PM  

The Bestest: ElectricPeterTork: Dead for Tax Reasons: kenseth going to be hard to identify with those colors.  siriusxm?  siriusly?

The only Sirius car that ever mattered

[i.ebayimg.com image 300x231]

SiriusXM is in my Top 10 "How are they still in business?" List.


must be a lot of people who haven't realized that they never cancelled their subscription.  that seems like a popular business model these days
 
2017-09-24 02:21:46 PM  

QueenMamaBee: Dear Lord, Tiny Infant Baby Jesus, please smite the 2, 48, 3.... then the 22 just for the lulz


Now now, the idol isn't actively targeting the 22, but it would still be hilarious.
 
2017-09-24 02:21:51 PM  
Unknown variable on the racing surface? I'm surprised they haven't used re-applying the VHT as an excuse to throw a competition caution.
 
2017-09-24 02:21:53 PM  
I'm already bored
 
2017-09-24 02:22:01 PM  

bluorangefyre: Why are they using sticky stuff on the track?


loudon usually is a 1/2 lane track, so if they should use it anywhere it'd be here
 
2017-09-24 02:23:08 PM  
kes' crew seems about as dumb as he is
 
2017-09-24 02:23:44 PM  
I thought Childress said he would never run a black #3 again.  Why is Asshat in a black #3?
 
2017-09-24 02:23:46 PM  
What's wrong with SiriusXM? I live in a small town with shiatty radio stations. And I can't plug in my phone because most of my time in my car is spent taking Lil Bee to and from various events and he's playing Pokemon.
 
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