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(From the Grapevine)   For only $50,000 you can have the privilege of inviting Gene Simmons to come and act like a pretentious douchebag in your living room   ( fromthegrapevine.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Kiss, box set, Simmons, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, previously unreleased songs, new Gene action, Israel-born Simmons  
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809 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Sep 2017 at 5:56 AM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-09-14 01:13:31 AM  
Pass. Next?
 
2017-09-14 01:18:31 AM  
For 10 bucks I could get a wino who made more sense
 
2017-09-14 01:23:07 AM  
I remember my brother telling me about how he briefly considered trying to get Bruce Campbell to be there for my wedding, until he noticed that one of the terms was "no weddings".
 
2017-09-14 01:29:09 AM  
It's not an act Subby.
 
2017-09-14 01:51:35 AM  
How much to make him go away?
 
2017-09-14 02:02:42 AM  
If I had that kind of money, I'd definitely pay it. Then I'd pay another $50,000 for a group of rednecks to come kick the shiat out of him.
 
2017-09-14 03:21:21 AM  
For that kind of money he better clean my kitchen floor with his tongue.
 
2017-09-14 06:00:15 AM  
For 50k i could pay off my car early and take a damn nice vacation.
 
2017-09-14 06:13:58 AM  
How much for the Emma Stone girlfriend experience?
 
2017-09-14 06:18:40 AM  
That seems awful steep to tell him that KISS sucks, in person.
 
2017-09-14 06:23:29 AM  

optikeye: How much to make him go away?


img.fark.netView Full Size

You couldn't afford it
 
2017-09-14 06:35:45 AM  
F*ck the bonus.
 
2017-09-14 06:41:10 AM  
Gene Simmons invented living rooms.
 
2017-09-14 06:43:33 AM  
R. I. P. Jean
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 06:54:43 AM  

fusillade762: For that kind of money he better clean my kitchen floor with his tongue.


And he'd better lick any object I put in front of him.
 
2017-09-14 06:57:28 AM  
Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.
 
2017-09-14 07:09:32 AM  
There can be ONLY ONE pretentious douchebag in my house!

/Okay, maybe I should have passed on this thread.
 
2017-09-14 07:09:52 AM  
How much for the Shannon Tweed experience?
/I'm gay.  No thanks.
 
2017-09-14 07:21:54 AM  

Smashed Hat: Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.


This, x 1,000.

He writes shiatty pop songs and performs them in clown paint. The only reason he has a career is because parents in the 70s were convinced Kiss was dangerous (besides, I'm sure, passing STDs around).

I would rather listen to Martha Stewart farthing into a metal garbage can for an hour.
 
2017-09-14 07:28:13 AM  

urethra_franklin: Smashed Hat: Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.

This, x 1,000.

He writes shiatty pop songs and performs them in clown paint. The only reason he has a career is because parents in the 70s were convinced Kiss was dangerous (besides, I'm sure, passing STDs around).

I would rather listen to Martha Stewart farthing into a metal garbage can for an hour.


*farting... WTF. Why is my phone autocorrecting to farthing?
 
2017-09-14 07:44:04 AM  

urethra_franklin: Smashed Hat: Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.

This, x 1,000.

He writes shiatty pop songs and performs them in clown paint. The only reason he has a career is because parents in the 70s were convinced Kiss was dangerous (besides, I'm sure, passing STDs around).

I would rather listen to Martha Stewart farthing into a metal garbage can for an hour.


ThatsMyFetish.gif
 
2017-09-14 07:56:07 AM  

Cache: There can be ONLY ONE pretentious douchebag in my house!

/Okay, maybe I should have passed on this thread.

i'm guessing you have a cat?

 
2017-09-14 07:59:30 AM  
FTA
"Where else can an immigrant boy like me grow up and climb Mt. Olympus?"

Greece
 
2017-09-14 08:13:53 AM  
He reminds me of Krusty - untalented, yet successful and constantly broke from spending money recklessly so he has to resort to personal appearances for money.
 
2017-09-14 08:41:39 AM  
The internet says Simmons is worth $300 million. How is it worth 50 grand to him to come to my house?
 
2017-09-14 08:43:46 AM  
Pass, I already have family.
 
2017-09-14 09:11:40 AM  

Barricaded Gunman: The internet says Simmons is worth $300 million. How is it worth 50 grand to him to come to my house?


He only spends an hour with those people for 50K. If I was worth 300M and could make 50k in a hour, I'd offer that. But not one single person wants to spend 50k to talk to me for an hour. Sex isn't off the table. I am not above reproach on that. Whatever.
 
2017-09-14 10:01:22 AM  

Barricaded Gunman: The internet says Simmons is worth $300 million. How is it worth 50 grand to him to come to my house?


Because the man has absolutely no shame and will do anything for a buck. That's how he ended up being worth 300 million.

Say what you want about his music, playing ability, or personality; you can't deny the fact that the guy started from pretty much nothing and made more money than anyone of us ever will.
 
2017-09-14 10:52:03 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: If I had that kind of money, I'd definitely pay it. Then I'd pay another $50,000 for a group of rednecks to come kick the shiat out of him.


You'd be overpaying the rednecks. Just give them a case of PBR each.
 
2017-09-14 11:10:59 AM  
Why would I pay for that, when Gene will act like a pretentious douchbag for free for anyone unlucky enough to be around him?
 
2017-09-14 11:17:39 AM  

Get Rich or Try Dyin': ecmoRandomNumbers: If I had that kind of money, I'd definitely pay it. Then I'd pay another $50,000 for a group of rednecks to come kick the shiat out of him.

You'd be overpaying the rednecks. Just give them a case of PBR each.


Heck, just tell them he's jewish, they would probably pay you.
 
2017-09-14 11:58:47 AM  

urethra_franklin: Smashed Hat: Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.

This, x 1,000.

He writes shiatty pop songs and performs them in clown paint. The only reason he has a career is because parents in the 70s were convinced Kiss was dangerous (besides, I'm sure, passing STDs around).

I would rather listen to Martha Stewart farthing into a metal garbage can for an hour.


Only if Snoop is going to rap over it...
 
2017-09-14 12:42:27 PM  

suicidejocky: FTA
"Where else can an immigrant boy like me grow up and climb Mt. Olympus?"

Greece


Also Canada, Australia, Cyprus, and Mars.
 
2017-09-14 01:04:49 PM  

malaktaus: suicidejocky: FTA
"Where else can an immigrant boy like me grow up and climb Mt. Olympus?"

Greece

Also Canada, Australia, Cyprus, and Mars.


I was told there would be no geograpjy
 
2017-09-14 02:22:54 PM  

ChrisDe: fusillade762: For that kind of money he better clean my kitchen floor with his tongue.

And he'd better lick any object I put in front of him.


You're mom?
 
2017-09-14 03:18:22 PM  

Danger Mouse: ChrisDe: fusillade762: For that kind of money he better clean my kitchen floor with his tongue.

And he'd better lick any object I put in front of him.

You're mom?


YOU are.
 
2017-09-14 06:11:33 PM  
Gene Simmons doesn't have no goddamn $300 million dollars. The last KISS tour earlier this year saw them playing venues barely above the county fair circuit. That wasn't by choice. They had to sell low-price tickets and drench the tour in faux-Patriotic tackiness just to sell those venues. He was doing a second-rate reality show just a few years ago. Where is revenue coming in from? Royalties maybe, but from where? Even classic rock stations don't play much KISS. Selling merchandise? How much of that is really being sold?

Now he's hawking living room gigs? This clown is broke.
 
2017-09-14 07:19:32 PM  

mrsleep: urethra_franklin: Smashed Hat: Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.

This, x 1,000.

He writes shiatty pop songs and performs them in clown paint. The only reason he has a career is because parents in the 70s were convinced Kiss was dangerous (besides, I'm sure, passing STDs around).

I would rather listen to Martha Stewart farthing into a metal garbage can for an hour.

Only if Snoop is going to rap over it...


Nice.
 
2017-09-15 12:39:25 AM  

urethra_franklin: Smashed Hat: Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.

This, x 1,000.

He writes shiatty pop songs and performs them in clown paint. The only reason he has a career is because parents in the 70s were convinced Kiss was dangerous (besides, I'm sure, passing STDs around).

I would rather listen to Martha Stewart farthing into a metal garbage can for an hour.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-15 08:16:12 AM  

Zul the Magnificent: urethra_franklin: Smashed Hat: Okay, so it's 150 unreleased Gene Simmons / KISS songs. 150 songs that were not good enough for a KISS album. No thanks, Gene.

This, x 1,000.

He writes shiatty pop songs and performs them in clown paint. The only reason he has a career is because parents in the 70s were convinced Kiss was dangerous (besides, I'm sure, passing STDs around).

I would rather listen to Martha Stewart farthing into a metal garbage can for an hour.

[img.fark.net image 360x270]


Wow, that guy looks like the chef from Ratatouille, but real.
 
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