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(Reason Magazine)   Headline you should never read while eating: "Ted Cruz Defends Dildos on CNN". THIS is why you put your phone away at the table (Not safe for work)   ( reason.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Law, attorney general, sex toys, Cruz, Sen. Ted Cruz, Republican Party, unnamed communications staffer, earlier support  
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1945 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Sep 2017 at 1:48 AM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-09-13 08:48:56 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

/Not even remotely sorry.
F*ck him...
 
2017-09-13 08:56:56 PM  
Yah-bit uh, he has a point here.  I don't give a fark about who this guy is but he's on the right side here.  Subby has an oral fixation that should probably be addressed by professional help, just sayin'.
 
2017-09-13 09:16:12 PM  
He actually said "Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms,". I  guess the "except  homos" was just implied.
 
2017-09-13 09:16:15 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Sorry if that sounds a little perverTED.
 
2017-09-14 12:05:22 AM  
I knew one of the links supporting their claim that he's not a true libertarian would feature something like this

"according to Cruz, freedom also means "your freedom to choose your child's education, even if you aren't as rich as Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama," which implies a right to subsidies forcibly extracted from your fellow citizens. While I agree that letting tax dollars follow students to the schools their parents choose is better than forcing their kids to attend government-run schools, that policy is not as straightforward an example of "freedom" as Cruz implies. The putative right to government-subsidized tuition, which asserts a claim on other people's resources, is qualitatively different from the right to practice one's religion or speak one's mind, which requires only that other people refrain from interfering."
 
2017-09-14 12:25:56 AM  
I replaced Cruz with Dildo:

Dildo called the law "stupid" and said he was just doing his duty.

"I worked for the attorney general," said Dildo. "The attorney general's job is to defend the laws passed by the Texas legislature. One of those laws was a law restricting the sale of sex toys, which is a stupid law."

"Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms," Dildo continued, going so far as to suggest he is "one of the most libertarian members of the Senate."


It doesn't change anything.
 
2017-09-14 12:27:42 AM  
 
2017-09-14 01:09:01 AM  
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Christ, not another Steely Dan fan
 
2017-09-14 01:18:58 AM  

stan unusual: [img.fark.net image 850x575]


Christ, not another Steely Dan fan


literarilyfilm.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 01:19:49 AM  

HighOnCraic: [img.fark.net image 206x245]
Sorry if that sounds a little perverTED.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 01:36:58 AM  

davidphogan: I replaced Cruz with Dildo:

Dildo called the law "stupid" and said he was just doing his duty.

"I worked for the attorney general," said Dildo. "The attorney general's job is to defend the laws passed by the Texas legislature. One of those laws was a law restricting the sale of sex toys, which is a stupid law."

"Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms," Dildo continued, going so far as to suggest he is "one of the most libertarian members of the Senate."

It doesn't change anything.


Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But ... every once in a while [looks around, leans in conspiratorially] ... it's a Ted Cruz. [leans back] Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a Ted Cruz . We have to use the indefinite article, "a Ted Cruz ", never ... your Ted Cruz.
 
2017-09-14 01:57:35 AM  
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2017-09-14 02:09:03 AM  
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2017-09-14 02:12:26 AM  
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2017-09-14 02:13:07 AM  
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2017-09-14 02:13:32 AM  
Headline you should never read while eating: "Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Defends Dildos on CNN". THIS is why you put your phone away at the table


Word replacer lulz...
 
2017-09-14 02:15:13 AM  
Ted Cruz may not be America's greatest living example of why abortion must remain legal but he certainly wants to be.
 
2017-09-14 02:17:51 AM  
Gotta give him credit, dildos would never defend him
 
2017-09-14 02:32:03 AM  
You heard it, folks. Ted loves dildos. He wants you to send him dildos. Send Ted Cruz dildos.
 
2017-09-14 02:32:15 AM  
I was expecting the article to be about the Freedom Caucus.  Close enough though.
 
2017-09-14 02:46:36 AM  
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2017-09-14 02:47:02 AM  
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/oblig
 
2017-09-14 02:52:11 AM  

LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 650x650]


"Only dildo in the room."

Is it inception if a simulated human wants to be a simulated dick?
 
2017-09-14 02:54:51 AM  

Sin'sHero: LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 650x650]

"Only dildo in the room."

Is it inception if a simulated human wants to be a simulated dick?


Well I don't know, but it ain't conception.
 
2017-09-14 03:00:39 AM  
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2017-09-14 03:03:38 AM  
So he's a quivering member of Congress
 
2017-09-14 03:06:18 AM  
Apparently the original headline (that's preserved in the url) is Cruz Sticks Up For Dildos.

/What's the writer's fark handle?
 
2017-09-14 03:06:40 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Ted Cruz may not be America's greatest living example of why abortion must remain legal but he certainly wants to be.


If the Canadians had offered him as an infant sacrifice to Mt. Aykroyd (as is their custom), we wouldn't be in this mess.
 
2017-09-14 03:23:31 AM  
I apologize to the mods. I posted a picture of a dildo that I actually thought was just a plastic Ted Cruz. I'm sorry.

img.wonkette.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 04:31:02 AM  
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2017-09-14 05:54:42 AM  
Dildos on CNN

pixel.nymag.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 08:03:38 AM  
And here I thought it was Trump who was the champion of Slaanesh. But it was Ted Cruz the whole time!

/Is he a hermaphrodite too?
//Have any bladed whips?
///Inquiring minds want to know.
 
2017-09-14 08:23:28 AM  

davidphogan: I replaced Cruz with Dildo:

Dildo called the law "stupid" and said he was just doing his duty.

"I worked for the attorney general," said Dildo. "The attorney general's job is to defend the laws passed by the Texas legislature. One of those laws was a law restricting the sale of sex toys, which is a stupid law."

"Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms," Dildo continued, going so far as to suggest he is "one of the most libertarian members of the Senate."

It doesn't change anything.


I love everything about this.
 
2017-09-14 08:49:53 AM  

BumpInTheNight: Yah-bit uh, he has a point here.  I don't give a fark about who this guy is but he's on the right side here.  Subby has an oral fixation that should probably be addressed by professional help, just sayin'.


Yeah but uhhhh, Ted Cruz is  a liar. So maybe don't  go blow him just yet.
 
2017-09-14 08:51:21 AM  

Naido: [img.fark.net image 425x295]


Amateurs

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2017-09-14 08:53:52 AM  
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2017-09-14 08:54:35 AM  
I'm not even sorry about that.
 
2017-09-14 09:13:15 AM  
Before I read the article, is Ted defending the sex toy or fellow Republicans?
 
2017-09-14 09:18:29 AM  
Has he given up on pounding his staff, aching and throbbing at the tip that might let him beat them with his long hot rod of justice as to who the real handler of that poem tweet was?
 
2017-09-14 09:45:41 AM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 11:20:24 AM  
I kinda like him a little better now that I think he's regular guy who likes  living  human  regular porn.  I guess that's weird of me.
 
2017-09-14 01:24:09 PM  
Put the phone away at the table, or else....
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 03:30:53 PM  
But seriously, why on earth do porn videos have the option to link to social media?  I can't imagine 99.9% of the world wanting to broadcast to their friends and acquaintances that they're watching porn.  And frankly I'm stunned that we don't see this sort of thing happening ALL THE TIME.
 
2017-09-14 07:37:25 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
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