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(ESPN)   Regular season NFL is back and ESPN is already hitting the sauce. Prep your memes, demand your grafs, it's your Week 2 NFL Power Rankings   ( espn.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Preseason ranking, American football, Possible overreaction, National Football League, Seattle Seahawks, San Diego Chargers, American football positions, record  
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1587 clicks; posted to Sports » on 12 Sep 2017 at 12:20 PM (44 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-09-12 11:11:04 AM  
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2017-09-12 11:13:50 AM  
Steelers at 1 after barely beating Cleveland?

GB or KC deserve top spot.
 
2017-09-12 11:18:29 AM  
Already?  ESPN's been hitting that bottle so much they think they can create a band from it.

Giants at #17? Meh; Cowboys' game is always tough so I'm not losing sleep over it.  That and the fact the Giants always have this weird-ass slow start to the season even when Coughlin was head coach.
 
2017-09-12 11:19:56 AM  
Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.
 
2017-09-12 11:26:48 AM  

Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.


img.fark.net
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-12 11:28:44 AM  

Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.


Oh it's Andy Dalton. By a lot.

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Steelers at 1 after barely beating Cleveland?

GB or KC deserve top spot.


We don't agree on much, but I am here for this. And the Patriots are too damn high.
 
2017-09-12 11:38:35 AM  

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Steelers at 1 after barely beating Cleveland?

GB or KC deserve top spot.


As a KC fan, I would've agreed had Berry not gone out for the season. The guy that replaced him did a great job on Gronk, but there's no way you're replacing the best safety in the league that easily. Pittsburgh being #1 is pretty weird, though, given how they just sorta eeked out a win against a Browns team without Myles Garrett.
 
2017-09-12 11:50:02 AM  

Di Atribe: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

Oh it's Andy Dalton. By a lot.


Must've blanked the highlights of that game out of my mind it was so bad.
 
2017-09-12 12:12:56 PM  
Treasuring the moment at the high point in the power rankings, the Eagles have to figure out who can kick the ball, replace the cornerback and locate a running game.  But, hey, it's a rebuilding year, don't ya know?
 
2017-09-12 12:22:03 PM  
If the Giants aren't the bottom, they deserve to be....
 
2017-09-12 12:22:52 PM  

Rwa2play: Di Atribe: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

Oh it's Andy Dalton. By a lot.

Must've blanked the highlights of that game out of my mind it was so bad.


Unless you like defense. Or the Ravens. Or the Ravens defense.

Then, it was pretty good.
 
2017-09-12 12:23:30 PM  

Prey4reign: Treasuring the moment at the high point in the power rankings, the Eagles have to figure out who can kick the ball, replace the cornerback and locate a running game.  But, hey, it's a rebuilding year, don't ya know?


You made me click the link, dammit!

Yeah, #9?  What are they smoking?
 
2017-09-12 12:24:33 PM  
Without Johnson, the Arizona Cardinals offense is a 37-year-old quarterback and a 34-year-old wide receiver. That rarely translates to wins in the NFL.

And STILL NO FARKING KICKER. But the LONG BALL!!1!

Yeah, we got a winner in town and blacked out games from across the country.
 
2017-09-12 12:25:13 PM  
OK, we're live here folks!

WHARJAKEWHARGRAF

Thank you.
 
2017-09-12 12:25:21 PM  

Di Atribe: And the Patriots are too damn high.


Finally, an explanation for why they seemed so lethargic and disinterested on Thursday night. Maybe they'll sober up for their next game. Let's see, Week 2, at New Orlea... shiat, they're gonna be wasted again.
 
2017-09-12 12:26:41 PM  

Prey4reign: Treasuring the moment at the high point in the power rankings, the Eagles have to figure out who can kick the ball, replace the cornerback and locate a running game.  But, hey, it's a rebuilding year, don't ya know?


I heard there is this super talented kicker just sitting out there as a free agent! He was actually a second round draft pick, and was some kind of record holder in college! Only issue is a small case of the yips, but the crowd in Philly will be super supportive if he struggles a little here and there...
 
2017-09-12 12:26:55 PM  

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Steelers at 1 after barely beating Cleveland?

GB or KC deserve top spot.


Beat Cleveland by 3 in which 7 points came from a blocked punt.

The Steeler's offense was outscored by Cleveland's offense. And the Steelers somehow jump to 1 and the Browns stay at 30.

I get it's ESPN, but I still don't get ESPN.
 
2017-09-12 12:28:19 PM  
I see it's been covered the Steelers should not be number one after struggling to beat the Browns.

As a Ravens fan, I can't argue their placement. Flacco didn't need to throw much because they were doing a nice job of executing their run game to eat up clock and preserve their lead 17-0 lead going into the second half.
 
2017-09-12 12:28:39 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Without Johnson, the Arizona Cardinals offense is a 37-year-old quarterback and a 34-year-old wide receiver. That rarely translates to wins in the NFL.

And STILL NO FARKING KICKER. But the LONG BALL!!1!

Yeah, we got a winner in town and blacked out games from across the country.


Hey, thanks for letting Catanzaro go. He's basically the Jets offense right now.
 
2017-09-12 12:29:22 PM  
Well Steelers are number one despite barely beating Cleveland. I will take it. They will shake off the rust for the long run.
 
2017-09-12 12:30:42 PM  
So the Bucs and Phins didn't play. Bucs stayed the dame, Phins moved up. You know how hard you have to work at sucking to drop below a team that hasn't even started their season??
 
2017-09-12 12:31:30 PM  
I thought a 'healthy' Arizona team was a 9 win, best case scenario 10 game team, but with no playoffs.  this changes everything (Johnson).  ARI's next four let's just say 6:

@ IND
DAL
SFO
@ PHI
TB
(London) vs the Rams who looked pretty sharp sunday.

this could get pretty ugly very quickly....
 
2017-09-12 12:31:46 PM  

BKITU: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

[img.fark.net image 336x96]
[img.fark.net image 318x50]


One of the picks and the fumble were both inside the Ravens 10. Any time they got close he'd turn the ball over.
 
2017-09-12 12:35:42 PM  

mjones73: BKITU: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

[img.fark.net image 336x96]
[img.fark.net image 318x50]

One of the picks and the fumble were both inside the Ravens 10. Any time they got close he'd turn the ball over.


It's just a mind-bending level of horrendous. It translated to 0 FGA in a shutout loss, which is beyond putrid. Even the rare Full/Gone Delhomme games of the past haven't been that inept.
 
2017-09-12 12:37:10 PM  
What a bunch of clickbait garbage. That list is nothing more than a seed for the internet sports rage machine.

/Steelers Fan
 
2017-09-12 12:37:32 PM  

BKITU: mjones73: BKITU: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

[img.fark.net image 336x96]
[img.fark.net image 318x50]

One of the picks and the fumble were both inside the Ravens 10. Any time they got close he'd turn the ball over.

It's just a mind-bending level of horrendous. It translated to 0 FGA in a shutout loss, which is beyond putrid. Even the rare Full/Gone Delhomme games of the past haven't been that inept.


I do give the Ravens some credit, two of those picks were off deflections, it's like they knew where the ball was going. The other two.. yeah that's all Andy.
 
2017-09-12 12:39:48 PM  
The Saints are too damned high.
The Bills are too damned low.
The rankings are already too damned high.

The graf, jake, shame game, etc are too damned WHAR!
 
2017-09-12 12:39:59 PM  
Lions at number 10 wooooooooooooooo!
 
2017-09-12 12:40:24 PM  

Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.


It should've been a toss up between Carson Palmer and Andy Dalton. Palmer had a couple of picks dropped.

Meanwhile, David Johnson looks like he'll be out 2-3 months and therefore, the Cardinals and many fantasy teams are royally farked.
 
2017-09-12 12:41:22 PM  
Can't determine whether a full offseason in the same system and a revamped OL has finally put Sam Bradford in a place to succeed, or Saints defense.

/I know the answer, but hoping it is at least a mix
//Diggs, Thielen and Cook!
///Skol for the triple
 
2017-09-12 12:43:48 PM  

desertgeek: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

It should've been a toss up between Carson Palmer and Andy Dalton. Palmer had a couple of picks dropped.

Meanwhile, David Johnson looks like he'll be out 2-3 months and therefore, the Cardinals and many fantasy teams are royally farked.


Dalton apparently posted a 0.6 QBR. Even if you don't like QBR, that's plenty bad enough for a Jake.
 
2017-09-12 12:46:07 PM  

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Steelers at 1 after barely beating Cleveland?

GB or KC deserve top spot.


I'm a huge steelers fan, and that game was painful

I expected the steelers to lose ground in the rankings. No way did they look like a top tier team.
 
2017-09-12 12:46:30 PM  

AntonChigger: desertgeek: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

It should've been a toss up between Carson Palmer and Andy Dalton. Palmer had a couple of picks dropped.

Meanwhile, David Johnson looks like he'll be out 2-3 months and therefore, the Cardinals and many fantasy teams are royally farked.

Dalton apparently posted a 0.6 QBR. Even if you don't like QBR, that's plenty bad enough for a Jake.


Conversion rate between QBR and Stanley nickels is 0.1 to 1.
 
2017-09-12 12:49:26 PM  

Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.


The Redacted's QB. stunk up the joint.
 
2017-09-12 12:51:35 PM  

mjones73: I see it's been covered the Steelers should not be number one after struggling to beat the Browns.

As a Ravens fan, I can't argue their placement. Flacco didn't need to throw much because they were doing a nice job of executing their run game to eat up clock and preserve their lead 17-0 lead going into the second half.


I watched the entire game, and Cleveland is TOUGH this year. If they signed a remotely competent QB, they'd have won.

Given that, GB or PIT should be first, so all's well.
 
2017-09-12 12:52:32 PM  
After an awesome start by the defense (who played pretty solid all game), the Steelers struggled on offense for three quarters until AB put the team on his back. This did not look like a team going in a deep playoff run. They are constantly playing below the level of their talent and the Browns game was no exception.

I hope they clean it up, because they looked pretty meh.
 
2017-09-12 12:57:38 PM  
My gut says to complain about my steelers jumping to 1 after a lackluster performance but I'm going to stick to my guns and just say that the power rankings are now, always have been, and always will be the stupidest ranking metric in sports so I'm going to continue to not even read the idiotic blurbs they come up with. Plus that preseason formatting change hurt my eyes so I'm not even risking a glance.

/If it meant anything, and it doesn't, I don't see how you not put the chiefs at #1 after an imprressive opening road win against defending champs.
 
2017-09-12 12:58:19 PM  

Fallout Zone: Can't determine whether a full offseason in the same system and a revamped OL has finally put Sam Bradford in a place to succeed, or Saints defense.

/I know the answer, but hoping it is at least a mix
//Diggs, Thielen and Cook!
///Skol for the triple


Or if Sam Bradford and Alex Smith went to some obscure medical facility in Eastern Europe and came out 10 years younger.

But yeah, saw the highlights this AM and watched Bradford zip 20-30 yard passes downfield into tight windows that last year would've been picked or tipped into a pick.  Certainly he looks more comfortable in the Vikings O but  either the OL improved, the Saints front 7 suck balls...or both.
 
2017-09-12 12:58:43 PM  
Here are my 2¢ on this weeks chart, and how Week 1 played out...

Pittsburgh
How the f**k are these guys #1 this week? They beat the BROWNS. By 3 POINTS. Any team (except the Chargers) can do that! >:-(

Green Bay
Without Jordy Nelson last season, the Packers only got as far as the NFC Championship Game. If they keep him AND Rodgers healthy, they'll be the team to beat in the Nfarkansas City
What happened in Foxborough Thursday night wasn't a statement to the NFL... it was a goddamn manifesto! We need to hope it was a fluke because, if it wasn't, everyone not wearing red and yellow is in deeeep trouble. o_o'

New England
WHAT THE F**K HAPPENED THURSDAY NIGHT?! Did you guys forget to practice in the Offseason? Julian Edelman can't be THAT important of a linchpin! Can he?

Dallas
Can't say I'm surprised. Cows are continuing where they left off last season. Will it end the same way? Only time will tell.

Oakland/Las Vegas
Consider all questions about Derek Carr and Marshawn Lynch readiness answered! Now, let's how the ex reacts in Oakland on Sunday.

Atlanta
The Falcons ALMOST blew another big lead late in the game again. They've either learned from The Shame in February, or got lucky that they we playing the Bears. Lets see how they do in their rematch with the Packers.

Seattle
Jesus Christ, you couldn't even get ONE touchdown out of your trip to Lambeau Field? If your O-line doesn't shape up quick, you can kiss the 12th man goodbye. They ain't sticking around for this bulls**t. :-(

Philadelphia
Way to stick it to DC. Ya' did good, kid. :-)

Detroit
Called it! :D

Carolina
Let's not start sucking Cam Newton's dick quite yet. You destroyed a hapless 49ers team, like any competent team should. You've got 3 weeks to train for your biggest test; the Patriots at Gillette Stadium.

Minnesota
WHO IS THIS QB, AND WHAT HAS HE DONE WITH SAM BRADFORD?! Whoever he is, the Vikings are far better off. :P

Tampa Bay
Seeing as your game was cancelled do to a f**king hurricane, we all have to wait an extra week to see what you've got. Use the time well.

Baltimore
RAVENS WIN. FLAWLESS VICTORY.

THE DENVER BRONCOS!!!
img.fark.netView Full Size


You guys owe Shelby Harris a gift basket. >:-(

Tennessee
Hey! Mariota! The wide receivers are your FRIENDS! Use them! >:O

NY Football Giants
Eli deserves better than you a**holes. Jesus Christ. -_-

LA Rams
HOLY S**T! Is Sean McVay a "miracle worker", or are the Colts just that bad? We need to find out. O_O

New Orleans
Sooo, how's Adrian Peterson working out for ya'? Any buyer's remorse yet? :P

Arizona
Man, tough break on David Johnson. Tough break. Tough. Break. >_>

Jacksonville
CONGRATULATIONS! You mercilessly beat up a division rival in their hurricane-devastated city, where most of the the players have been volunteering their time and effort cleaning up and rebuilding, in a stadium filled with local fans who are probably now homeless. But, hey. You're the #1 team in the AFC South now! Isn't THAT something to be proud of? >:-(

LA Chargers
img.fark.netView Full Size


Miami
"The Jay Cutler Experience: Miami Hotline Tour" begins in LA next week. Hope you fans are ready. :P

Washington
img.fark.netView Full Size


Cincinnati
*ahem*


img.fark.netView Full Size

♫OH WHEN THE TANKS, GO ROL-LING IN
WHEN THE TANKS GO ROL-LING IN
OH, HOW I'M GLAD THAT I'M NOT A BEN-GAL
WHEN THE TANKS GO ROL-LING INNNN!♫ XD



Houston
Protip: Fire Tom Savage, hire Colin Kaepernick. He couldn't POSSIBLY be any worse! :-(

Buffalo
Due to a strange confluence of improbable events, the Buffalo Bills are the #1 team in the AFC East after Week 1. EVERYBODY PANIC!!! O_O

img.fark.netView Full Size


Chicago
Wow. You were thiiiiis close to pulling a Patriots on the Falcons. Maybe there's hope for you guys yet. :-)

San Francisco Santa Clara
Well... on the plus side, you scored more points than the Bengals. ^_^'

.....

I miss Jim Harbaugh... T_T

Cleveland
Conglaturations! You only lost to the Steelers by 3 POINTS! This has to be a career highlight for both your players and fans alike! :P

Indianapolis
img.fark.netView Full Size


NY Jets
Jesus, no wonder the alcoholism rate is so high amongst your fan base. o_o'

See you guys later! :-)
 
2017-09-12 12:58:50 PM  

AntonChigger: Dalton apparently posted a 0.6 QBR. Even if you don't like QBR, that's plenty bad enough for a Jake.


Bad enough? I'll say. That will be one of the worst of the year when it's all over. Hell, 4 INTs and a fumble may not be equaled this year.
 
2017-09-12 12:59:09 PM  
Eh, whatevs.

Nice to be Russell Wilson, where you get all credit if you win and the OL takes all the heat when you lose. Meanwhile, the OL really got bad once you decided you needed the most money in the NFL. What a coincidence.

/not against him getting paid, just pointing out that this was an inevitable result of it
//throw to Baldwin, who you say is always open, instead of forcing it to Graham all the time, f*cker
 
2017-09-12 01:00:28 PM  
I mean, Alex Smith and Sam Bradford and Jared Goff were the best QBs in the league this week. I think we're good with saying this is not representative of reality.
 
2017-09-12 01:00:58 PM  

2wolves: Rwa2play: Seriously wondering who will be awarded The Jake this week.  Don't seem to recall any horrific performances from QB's last week.

The Redacted's QB. stunk up the joint.


Can somewhat see why Snyder won't pay Cousins.  Can also see why the Redacted's suck balls:  Ozzy Newsome would lose his farking mind if Snyder was his boss.

/It's why Flacco's got the monster contract
//But the Ravens D is good
 
2017-09-12 01:01:16 PM  

BKITU: WHARJAKEWHARGRAF


A little note about the graf, which I've already shared with my FFB league: I lost my job last month, and I don't have Excel on my home computer. So I'll have to go to the library to put everything together, which will probably be in about an hour. I was thinking about handing it off to someone else, but to be honest, it feels pretty good to have something mildly purposeful to do. I just need a little patience, my dear weirdos.

Also, I made a list of teams that I'm considering new nicknames for, but of course, it's in the Excel spreadsheet. So get those brain-gears greased up, we've got teams to make fun of!

WhackingDay: What a bunch of clickbait garbage. That list is nothing more than a seed for the internet sports rage machine.

/Steelers Fan


I know. It's consistently terrible. That's why we'll never go anywhere else.
 
2017-09-12 01:03:07 PM  

Di Atribe: It's consistently terrible. That's why we'll never go anywhere else.



"nobody goes to that restaurant anymore.  it's too crowded."

/obscure?
 
2017-09-12 01:05:03 PM  

Di Atribe: We don't agree on much, but I am here for this. And the Patriots are too damn high.


Remember in 2014 wen the Chiefs dropped a 40 burger on the Patriots early in the season? Good times. I think dropping 3 slots is adequate.
 
2017-09-12 01:06:12 PM  

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: Steelers at 1 after barely beating Cleveland?

GB or KC deserve top spot.


THIS.
 
2017-09-12 01:06:35 PM  

fastfxr: mjones73: I see it's been covered the Steelers should not be number one after struggling to beat the Browns.

As a Ravens fan, I can't argue their placement. Flacco didn't need to throw much because they were doing a nice job of executing their run game to eat up clock and preserve their lead 17-0 lead going into the second half.

I watched the entire game, and Cleveland is TOUGH this year. If they signed a remotely competent QB, they'd have won.


Considering the disaster area that was Cleveland's roster, drafting Kizer was one of the first good picks they've had in years.  They might not win more than 6 games all season, but they'll be a tough team to beat.

Given that, GB or PIT should be first, so all's well.

Give it to GB, they beat a good Seattle team because they can't seem strengthen their OL.

/Giants have that same problem
//Fark
 
2017-09-12 01:06:48 PM  

rickythepenguin: "nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. it's too crowded."


Yogi Berra?

WinoRhino: I think dropping 3 slots is adequate.


I know you're right, but we're high on bloodlust right now.
 
2017-09-12 01:07:31 PM  

Rwa2play: Fallout Zone: Can't determine whether a full offseason in the same system and a revamped OL has finally put Sam Bradford in a place to succeed, or Saints defense.

/I know the answer, but hoping it is at least a mix
//Diggs, Thielen and Cook!
///Skol for the triple

Or if Sam Bradford and Alex Smith went to some obscure medical facility in Eastern Europe and came out 10 years younger.

But yeah, saw the highlights this AM and watched Bradford zip 20-30 yard passes downfield into tight windows that last year would've been picked or tipped into a pick.  Certainly he looks more comfortable in the Vikings O but  either the OL improved, the Saints front 7 suck balls...or both.


Noted Vikings fan Drew Magary had an interesting theory about why
 
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