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(Business Insider)   Mike Pence recalls the longest 12 minutes of his life. Karen Pence blushes   ( businessinsider.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Washington, D.C., United States Congress, September 11 attacks, United States Capitol, Capitol Police headquarters, normal workday routine, New York City, United Airlines Flight 93  
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2413 clicks; posted to Politics » on 11 Sep 2017 at 4:48 PM (32 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-09-11 01:41:08 PM  
I needed a good laugh.

Thanks, subby.

Also, when it comes to Pence, I really don't want to say what I'm sure he was thinking back then.

I don't like it when I have to express my whole hearted opinion when it's nothing but hatred and cruel invective.
 
2017-09-11 04:50:14 PM  
Mike Pence recalls the longest 12 minutes of his life. Karen Pence blushes

What a loser, I could make her blush in half the time.
 
2017-09-11 04:52:22 PM  
And after that, he was never allowed to be alone with another woman again.
 
2017-09-11 04:52:45 PM  
"Shortly after I arrived, the chief of police set the phone back down and informed the leaders gathered there that there was a plane inbound for the Capitol, and he said it was 12 minutes out," he said.
"In that moment, the room became silent, and as people began to make plans, I found myself looking out the window, where just across the street was the Capitol dome, with that majestic statue of freedom standing atop it. A dome that's a symbol of the ideals of this nation - of the freedom and democracy for all the world."
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."
 
2017-09-11 04:55:01 PM  
9/11. Never forget. NEVER FORGET THAT MIKE PENCE VOTE AGAINST THE FIRST RESPONDERS HEALTH CARE BILL TWICE!!!!
https://americanbridgepac.org/pence-twice-voted-against-911-first-res​p​onders-health-care-bill/
 
2017-09-11 04:55:15 PM  
I am currently living the longest 4 years of my life.
 
2017-09-11 04:55:17 PM  
Up the butt, Bob.
 
2017-09-11 04:55:49 PM  
Great headline. Nicely played.
 
2017-09-11 04:56:26 PM  

SuburbanCowboy: 9/11. Never forget. NEVER FORGET THAT MIKE PENCE VOTE AGAINST THE FIRST RESPONDERS HEALTH CARE BILL TWICE!!!!
https://americanbridgepac.org/pence-twice-voted-against-911-first-resp​onders-health-care-bill/


Damn straight.
 
2017-09-11 04:57:27 PM  
It was trying to find that one stay brown hair on his head that he either colored white, or plucked.
 
2017-09-11 04:57:46 PM  

UsikFark: "Shortly after I arrived, the chief of police set the phone back down and informed the leaders gathered there that there was a plane inbound for the Capitol, and he said it was 12 minutes out," he said.
"In that moment, the room became silent, and as people began to make plans, I found myself looking out the window, where just across the street was the Capitol dome, with that majestic statue of freedom standing atop it. A dome that's a symbol of the ideals of this nation - of the freedom and democracy for all the world."
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."


Maybe he should thank the passengers on flight 93 who gave their lives fighting terrorism.  Just a thought.
 
2017-09-11 04:59:24 PM  
Hey Mike Pence,

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-11 04:59:24 PM  

SuburbanCowboy: 9/11. Never forget. NEVER FORGET THAT MIKE PENCE VOTE AGAINST THE FIRST RESPONDERS HEALTH CARE BILL TWICE!!!!
https://americanbridgepac.org/pence-twice-voted-against-911-first-resp​onders-health-care-bill/


To be fair - it's what Jesus would have done.
 
2017-09-11 04:59:52 PM  
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."

Remember folks, "Mother" is his wife.
 
2017-09-11 05:02:57 PM  
I think we are missing the point here, the Vice-President of the United States calls his wife "Mother."
Anybody who voted for these sick traitorous assholes just shouldn't vote ever again.
 
2017-09-11 05:03:43 PM  

Graffito: UsikFark: "Shortly after I arrived, the chief of police set the phone back down and informed the leaders gathered there that there was a plane inbound for the Capitol, and he said it was 12 minutes out," he said.
"In that moment, the room became silent, and as people began to make plans, I found myself looking out the window, where just across the street was the Capitol dome, with that majestic statue of freedom standing atop it. A dome that's a symbol of the ideals of this nation - of the freedom and democracy for all the world."
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."

Maybe he should thank the passengers on flight 93 who gave their lives fighting terrorism.  Just a thought.


Or the Muslim guy who couldn't fly the plane.
 
2017-09-11 05:03:47 PM  

UsikFark: "Shortly after I arrived, the chief of police set the phone back down and informed the leaders gathered there that there was a plane inbound for the Capitol, and he said it was 12 minutes out," he said.
"In that moment, the room became silent, and as people began to make plans, I found myself looking out the window, where just across the street was the Capitol dome, with that majestic statue of freedom standing atop it. A dome that's a symbol of the ideals of this nation - of the freedom and democracy for all the world."
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."


How about you thank the men and women who brought that plane down, sacrificing their own lives in the process, you creepy holier-than-thou fark? Alternatively, you could thank their families. Or, and this might sound crazy, but go with me here, you could have NOT VOTED AGAINST THE FIRST RESPONDERS HEALTH BILL, YOU farkING fark
 
2017-09-11 05:05:58 PM  
On 9/11 my biggest worry was how Mike Pence was going to be able to get through this awful day, would he have to sit and wait some terribly long time, upwards of 10 minutes perhaps, maybe even...god forbid, 12 whole minutes?

I was certainly sad for all of the death and destruction and the overall loss of national innocence, never mind the inevitable wars that were to come, but I was always able to remain focused on the fact that this was all about Mike Pence, and his interminable waiting.
 
2017-09-11 05:10:46 PM  

Graffito: UsikFark: "Shortly after I arrived, the chief of police set the phone back down and informed the leaders gathered there that there was a plane inbound for the Capitol, and he said it was 12 minutes out," he said.
"In that moment, the room became silent, and as people began to make plans, I found myself looking out the window, where just across the street was the Capitol dome, with that majestic statue of freedom standing atop it. A dome that's a symbol of the ideals of this nation - of the freedom and democracy for all the world."
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."

Maybe he should thank the passengers on flight 93 who gave their lives fighting terrorism.  Just a thought.


He called him heroes, eventually. What the hell kind of speaker/speechwriter would leave something like that out of a televised speech?
 
2017-09-11 05:11:00 PM  
Googlin' around for Karen Pence pictures (don't judge me) and found this.  Look how far back Melania is leaning to get away from Trump.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-11 05:13:47 PM  

Scoobie: Great headline. Nicely played.


Came here to say that.
 
2017-09-11 05:13:50 PM  
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-11 05:16:54 PM  
the Lord Baby Jesus has more patriotic in one tear drop than an entire convocation of eagles!
and I think you people realize how patriotic a convocation of eagles is.

can Libs even comprehend that amount of patriotic?

that's like an entire fleet of Super Duty Ford F750's rolling coal in an U.S. flag formation while the Star Spangled Banner is played on harps by Republican angels.

yeah, I don't think you Libs get how important the role that Lord Baby Jesus plays in U.S. politics is.

it's VERY important.
 
2017-09-11 05:32:30 PM  
Cut the crap, Mike.
Everyone knows the longest 12 minutes of your life was when you went to pick up some takeout, but the only employees free to work the register were female. After 12 minutes, you threw a blank check at them, and ran away, screaming "I didn't know, Mother! I didn't know!"
Then when you got home, it was off to the punishment shed.
 
2017-09-11 05:40:41 PM  

Epic Fap Session: And after that, he was never allowed to be alone with another woman again.


Because never being allowed to be alone with another man would be too much information.
 
2017-09-11 05:56:54 PM  

Graffito: UsikFark: "Shortly after I arrived, the chief of police set the phone back down and informed the leaders gathered there that there was a plane inbound for the Capitol, and he said it was 12 minutes out," he said.
"In that moment, the room became silent, and as people began to make plans, I found myself looking out the window, where just across the street was the Capitol dome, with that majestic statue of freedom standing atop it. A dome that's a symbol of the ideals of this nation - of the freedom and democracy for all the world."
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."

Maybe he should thank the passengers on flight 93 who gave their lives fighting terrorism.  Just a thought.


Seems almost like we should tear down their Memorial, put up one for Jesus
 
2017-09-11 05:57:57 PM  
That whole day was a surreal mind fark on a level most people had not experienced in their lives. But I'm glad the worst was over for Mike Pence when he realized that he was going to live through it.
 
2017-09-11 06:06:06 PM  

foo monkey: "So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."

Remember folks, "Mother" is his wife.


Well, a boy's best friend is his Mother.
 
2017-09-11 06:06:55 PM  

UsikFark: Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."


Dear Jesus, thank you for killing those other people and not me.
 
2017-09-11 06:11:11 PM  
I was sitting at my desk, writing a requirements document when someone said a plane had hit the tower. We all ran to the kitchen to see what was happening. Then the second plane... Man or woman, we were crying. The people, what they were going through, seeing those desperate souls jumping... I will never forget it. And, the next few days, talking to people working for NYC's transit department, who couldn't leave their jobs. Yeah, answering their issues and keeping their systems online... but just listening so they could get out their horror and keep functioning.

Of course Pence thought only of himself and did not say "to the families of those on flight 93, thank you for the bravery and sacrifice of your family." Of COURSE he didn't... because that man has no shame and no concept of the value of others.
 
2017-09-11 06:12:01 PM  
Both the 12 minutes Pence refers to and the 12 minutes referred to by the headline ended with a Pence orgasm and a Jesus callout
 
2017-09-11 06:25:52 PM  

Graffito: UsikFark: "Shortly after I arrived, the chief of police set the phone back down and informed the leaders gathered there that there was a plane inbound for the Capitol, and he said it was 12 minutes out," he said.
"In that moment, the room became silent, and as people began to make plans, I found myself looking out the window, where just across the street was the Capitol dome, with that majestic statue of freedom standing atop it. A dome that's a symbol of the ideals of this nation - of the freedom and democracy for all the world."
"So we waited," he continued. "It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. But it turned to 13 minutes. Then 14. Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus and called Mother to tell her the good news."

Maybe he should thank the passengers on flight 93 who gave their lives fighting terrorism.  Just a thought.


Especially the gay man that charged the cockpit. Pence is a POS.
 
2017-09-11 06:46:05 PM  
Then we were informed that the plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I thanked our Lord Jesus

F*ck you.  Seriously, f*ck you.  That's an incredibly twisted philosophy. That it would even occur to you to thank your deity for killing other people instead of killing you is sick. Does he continue with that prayer daily?

"Dear Lord Jesus, once again, I beseech you to slate your death-lust by killing other people today instead of me.  Thanks in advance."
 
2017-09-11 08:25:53 PM  
He held his good friend Omarion's hand and prayed.
 
2017-09-11 08:30:19 PM  

foo monkey: Googlin' around for Karen Pence pictures (don't judge me) and found this.  Look how far back Melania is leaning to get away from Trump.

[i.pinimg.com image 620x461]


She was thinking " This disgusting orange blob was supposed to be dead five years ago, and I was supposed to be living it up on a tropical island with his money. Gawd, his breath smells like week-old dead fish."
 
2017-09-12 12:51:02 AM  
Why is it these cork-sockers can spin this back to themselves every time?
 
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