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(CNN)   Scaramucci's plans for the White House released to the press. "Item 1 - Meet with John Kelly"   ( cnn.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, White House, President of the United States, staff John Kelly, Franklin D. Roosevelt, White House chief, modernized fireside chats, place frequent op-eds, communications team  
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2063 clicks; posted to Politics » on 03 Aug 2017 at 7:47 AM (50 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
IP [TotalFark]
2017-08-03 02:38:01 AM  
FTFA: "For example, POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President," the document reads. "Perhaps, we embrace it with a national online lottery to play a round of golf with him ... or a charity auction. POTUS has a funny and irreverent side which was shared with the electorate during the campaign."

Amateurs.  Farking amateurs.  Jeez...we're farked.
 
2017-08-03 02:44:06 AM  

IP: FTFA: "For example, POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President," the document reads. "Perhaps, we embrace it with a national online lottery to play a round of golf with him ... or a charity auction. POTUS has a funny and irreverent side which was shared with the electorate during the campaign."

Amateurs.  Farking amateurs.  Jeez...we're farked.


It's sad.  Smoochie wanted to have sex with Donald so badly and now he's missed his chance.
 
2017-08-03 06:40:53 AM  
Step 1 - Meet with John Kelly. (check!)
Step 2 - Raise your hand if you still work here.
Step 3 - Not so fast there, Mooch.

/ profit?
 
2017-08-03 07:32:42 AM  
Those were actually not bad ideas...if it were under a different president.
 
2017-08-03 07:40:29 AM  

xanadian: Those were actually not bad ideas...if it were under a different president.


I don't know. How do you humanize a narcissist? That's like offering free car washes to a scrapyard.
 
2017-08-03 07:52:03 AM  

IP: FTFA: "For example, POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President," the document reads. "Perhaps, we embrace it with a national online lottery to play a round of golf with him ... or a charity auction. POTUS has a funny and irreverent side which was shared with the electorate during the campaign."

Amateurs.  Farking amateurs.  Jeez...we're farked.


I'm really gonna miss that guy. That was a laundry list of potential comedy gold. I especially liked his "airing of the grievances" concept.
 
2017-08-03 07:56:34 AM  

August11: xanadian: Those were actually not bad ideas...if it were under a different president.

I don't know. How do you humanize a narcissist? That's like offering free car washes to a scrapyard.


Precisely.
 
2017-08-03 07:56:50 AM  
He wanted to Humanize the Trumpster? Good luck with that.
 
2017-08-03 07:59:53 AM  
POTUS has a funny and irreverent side which was shared with the electorate during the campaign

Indeed, who can forget such classics as 'most Mexicans are rapists', 'sexual assault is fun' and 'POWs are pussies'.
 
2017-08-03 08:00:34 AM  
Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?
 
2017-08-03 08:02:30 AM  

Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?


Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.
 
2017-08-03 08:02:58 AM  

Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?


Golf Magazine had a story a while back that basically said he is quite a good golfer that cheats to make himself seem like a pro level golfer. If he didnt cheat he actually would be quite good on his own right.
 
2017-08-03 08:03:05 AM  
I would so enter that lottery so that should i win I could insult dongle 2 scoops all day long.
 
2017-08-03 08:03:36 AM  
FTFA: "For example, POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President," the document reads. "Perhaps, we embrace it with a national online lottery to play a round of golf with him ... or a charity auction. POTUS has a funny and irreverent side which was shared with the electorate during the campaign."

Hell, you have to PAY to have access to members of government?!  That's not how it works in a democracy.

Oh, wait.  Yes it is.  Nevermind.
 
2017-08-03 08:09:49 AM  

IP: FTFA: "For example, POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President," the document reads. "Perhaps, we embrace it with a national online lottery to play a round of golf with him ... or a charity auction. POTUS has a funny and irreverent side which was shared with the electorate during the campaign."

Amateurs.  Farking amateurs.  Jeez...we're farked.


Make it a game! A reality show, "My friend Trump!"
Oh oh and encourage the children of Trump voters to write letters to Trump and we will select some to read before press conferences!
 
2017-08-03 08:14:20 AM  
I feel a second poem coming on...
745433944.r.lightningbase-cdn.comView Full Size
We were made sneck-less
so they replaced him with someone even more feckless
.
After that the Mooch
Screwed the pooch
.
Will that Huckabee muppet with the cookie monster eyes
have to step in again to dispense the lies?
.
The only reason to watch a white house brief
Is to have a laugh at the commander in chief
.
Burma Shave

 
2017-08-03 08:21:31 AM  

stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.


I can't tell if this is a joke or not.
 
2017-08-03 08:27:48 AM  

Loki009: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Golf Magazine had a story a while back that basically said he is quite a good golfer that cheats to make himself seem like a pro level golfer. If he didnt cheat he actually would be quite good on his own right.


If only he could govern like he golfs.
 
2017-08-03 08:29:29 AM  
I'm glad that greasy yank got shiatcanned, And humiliated.
 
2017-08-03 08:42:44 AM  

Loki009: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Golf Magazine had a story a while back that basically said he is quite a good golfer that cheats to make himself seem like a pro level golfer. If he didnt cheat he actually would be quite good on his own right.


I actually believe this one, too. Between the amount of time he spends on it and the fact that accuracy is often better than actual strength (if you can't get both behind a swing) it would make sense that he'd be actually do fairly well.


Too bad I also don't give a sh-t.
 
2017-08-03 08:43:00 AM  
Step two - Sit down, and write two letters.

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-08-03 08:45:00 AM  
Scaramucci To-Do List
-meet with General Kelly


Not actually numbered, but indeed the first item at the top of the "to-do" portion.

d) Recognize good work in a consistent and formal way. Establish a meritocracy where real contributions to Comms are recognized. Make it clear that horn tooting and denigrating colleagues is unacceptable

e) No more threats about leaking and internal game playing - anyone who takes actions that do not serve the President will be dismissed - period. We will eliminate the bad eggs and send a powerful message to the remaining staff that well-intentioned mistakes are acceptable, but misconduct is not.


Apparently, John Kelly read Mooch's memo before the meeting.
 
2017-08-03 08:55:20 AM  
do "modernized fireside chats" with Cabinet members and take questions from citizens on livestreams.

Oh I so would have loved to see Lil' Donnie Two Scoops do THAT.
 
2017-08-03 09:26:07 AM  
Scaramucci's short tenure was an honest parody and celebration of everything we value in Joe Pesci.

His obscenity was pure and as stylish as his suit, unlike the constant classless obscenity of Trump and his staff which represents their white trash base and brutalizes values, hurts the vulnerable, and is just mean.
 
2017-08-03 09:46:44 AM  

IP: FTFA: "For example, POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President," the document reads. "Perhaps, we embrace it with a national online lottery to play a round of golf with him ... or a charity auction. POTUS has a funny and irreverent side which was shared with the electorate during the campaign."

Amateurs.  Farking amateurs.  Jeez...we're farked.


"POTUS is also quite fat. Perhaps an 'I Haz Bucket?' Photoshop contest featuring POTUS dressed as a walrus. Or a contest to 'read' the shart stains on POTUS' golf slacks."
 
2017-08-03 09:55:55 AM  
Yes the problem is Trump seems to stuffy and presidential. People don't realize he is a normal person who likes to golf and be irreverent.

Yeah that's the problem.
 
2017-08-03 09:57:30 AM  
I miss the Mooch.
 
2017-08-03 09:57:38 AM  
So the guy who called up a news reporter and made threats to give up sources believed that his department needs to be friendly with the press.
 
2017-08-03 09:59:30 AM  

Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.


If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?
 
2017-08-03 10:15:46 AM  

bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?


What can I say, the President has magic balls.
 
2017-08-03 10:25:20 AM  

Nurglitch: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

What can I say, the President has magic balls.


You can say "the President has magic balls."
 
2017-08-03 10:57:50 AM  

bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?


Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer
 
2017-08-03 11:02:25 AM  

Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer

Who's

 predisent?

/not a golfer
//likes crazy golf
 
2017-08-03 11:04:04 AM  

bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer

Who's predisent?

/not a golfer
//likes crazy golf


Crap, that's the second time starting a post in italics has screwed up reply formatting. (sighs)
 
2017-08-03 11:29:27 AM  
"For example, POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President"

JFK Golf Swing
Youtube RTdMdAQ6JwI
 
2017-08-03 11:32:21 AM  

bazbt3: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer

Who's predisent?

/not a golfer
//likes crazy golf

Crap, that's the second time starting a post in italics has screwed up reply formatting. (sighs)


I just recently lowered my antidepressant dosage (hooray withdrawal symptoms) and for about five seconds was wondering if my cognition had screwed up bigly. That was the most confusing thing I've read all day and I just got done reading most of Trump's transcripts.
 
2017-08-03 11:32:38 AM  
You know who else was great at golf?

No, not that guy, another one.

Link
 
2017-08-03 12:38:10 PM  

Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer

Who's predisent?

/not a golfer
//likes crazy golf

Crap, that's the second time starting a post in italics has screwed up reply formatting. (sighs)

I just recently lowered my antidepressant dosage (hooray withdrawal symptoms) and for about five seconds was wondering if my cognition had screwed up bigly. That was the most confusing thing I've read all day and I just got done reading most of Trump's transcripts.


Maybe I should have used more Trumpian language to enhance the point I was trying to make. Yesterday a post mentioned, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'a round of golf is less of a sporting occasion than [his running commentary on his awesomeness]', and something about his unerring accuracy. (I'm imagining underlings in bushes with long sticks.)

/heh!
//maybe not the best followup explanation ever
 
2017-08-03 12:56:46 PM  

Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer


Hey balls bounce.  Also, his fingers are too short to retrieve them from the hole, and he can't bend anyway, so they affix a plastic shield.
 
2017-08-03 01:39:46 PM  

Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer

Who's predisent?

/not a golfer
//likes crazy golf

Crap, that's the second time starting a post in italics has screwed up reply formatting. (sighs)

I just recently lowered my antidepressant dosage (hooray withdrawal symptoms) and for about five seconds was wondering if my cognition had screwed up bigly. That was the most confusing thing I've read all day and I just got done reading most of Trump's transcripts.


The question should perhaps have been 'what's his handicap'?*

In any event, this article might explain things a bit better:
http://www.golf.com/tour-news/2017/08/01/president-donald-trump-relat​i​onship-golf-more-complicated-now

*We are.
 
2017-08-03 01:43:00 PM  

Far Cough: Shakin_Haitian: bazbt3: Shakin_Haitian: stoli n coke: Shakin_Haitian: Is there any proof that Trump is actually a good golfer? Has he played in any tournaments where he couldn't have sway over how they scored all of his shots?

Two Scoops claimed to have shot a 15 on 18 holes.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

If it's his course it's acceptable to assume he'll occasionally get under par for a few holes. If par is his normal round and he normally gets at least 3 holes-in-one.

/normal
//I like crazy golf too!
///who's predisent?

Isn't a hole in one still counted as one, so the lowest possible score on 18 holes is 18?

/Not a golfer

Hey balls bounce.  Also, his fingers are too short to retrieve them from the hole, and he can't bend anyway, so they affix a plastic shield.


An illustration of what's in my head right now:
https://principaltrump.tumblr.com/post/157613149909/principal-trump-t​a​kes-some-well-deserved-time-off
 
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