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(Spontn80)   The 10th Annual "What would you say to your Dad today?" Fark Father's Day thread. This thread is older than your nine-year-old   ( dangrigor.com) divider line
    More: Hero, fark father, Mother, Fatherhood, thread, Father, 1996 albums, Father's Day, dad  
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1366 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2017 at 8:00 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-06-18 12:05:01 AM  
Wow ten years and 3386 comments later and here we are again. I think this is a good thing. This is what I would say.
Dear Daddy,
Here I am again. Posting that thread in that place you never heard of. Sharing our story, my video and your song with people we don't know. It seems to be a good thing. Let's keep doing it so something good comes from it. I'm so thankful for that.
---
I never thought when I posted that silly thread in 2008 that it would do what it did. I have read through the threads every year and it never ceases to amaze me. Good and bad from all perspectives: sons, daughters, steps, adopts, fathers, mothers, singles of both, stories and memories. These are good threads and a part of the Fark family. The takeaway to me is that we are, as fathers and sons, getting better and learning from the mistakes of those who came before. Like humans do.

Get it off your chest. Say the things you would have, could have, should have said... if only you could. (Find clickable headlines to all 10 threads at the video link.)

/my blog sucks
//i love you guys
///sub my youtube channel bro
 
2017-06-18 12:06:46 AM  
GFY.

My dad abused my mother, then there was that time he hit me hard enough to give me a fat lip.
 
2017-06-18 12:09:38 AM  
I miss you dad and wish you were here to see your only grandson get married this September.

My dad passed away 3 days before my son's 3rd birthday.
 
2017-06-18 12:10:03 AM  
I wish you had not died nineteen years ago, we had a lot of stuff to talk about.
 
2017-06-18 12:11:12 AM  
"I guess it was loaded. My bad."
 
2017-06-18 12:15:34 AM  
spontn80:

Eh, not sure my comment was keeping in the spirit of what you hoped this thread may be.

But, well, my father is a dick. He's always been a dick, which is why my ma fled from him in about 1986 or so. My dad is a complete asshole. Back in the day, there was Aussie Rules football on the telly, and god forbid you should make a sound because he'd lash out at you if you disturbed his tv.

I just hope I can manage to outlive him, because he has a shiatload of money and I'd quite enjoy having it.
 
2017-06-18 12:18:04 AM  

iron de havilland: spontn80:

Eh, not sure my comment was keeping in the spirit of what you hoped this thread may be.

It totally is. That's my original point what would YOU actually say if you could. For the longest time my response was exactly the same.
 
2017-06-18 12:19:08 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


We named her after you.
 
2017-06-18 12:20:28 AM  

iron de havilland: I just hope I can manage to outlive him, because he has a shiatload of money and I'd quite enjoy having it.


Mine gambled all my money and 400 acres of prime real estate in san diego while in vegas and then got shot dead by the Las Vegas Police after robbing a bank. I hope you get his!
 
2017-06-18 12:21:24 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Back in 1980, you bought this VW bus in Austria, and we we were instantly the least cool people, ever!

Now, I wish I had that bus. We would be the coolest people ever.

Sadly, dad and the bus are both long gone.
 
2017-06-18 12:21:25 AM  

spontn80: iron de havilland: spontn80:

Eh, not sure my comment was keeping in the spirit of what you hoped this thread may be.
It totally is. That's my original point what would YOU actually say if you could. For the longest time my response was exactly the same.


Well, I guess what I'd say to my father is DIAF. He haunts my life like the worst people you can imagine, and I look forward to his death.
 
2017-06-18 12:21:55 AM  

iron de havilland: Eh, not sure my comment was keeping in the spirit of what you hoped this thread may be.


This thread always has the good, the bad, the sentimental and, frankly, a bit of the horrific. I always end up with a damp face, for both happy and sad.

I'm sorry your dad was a dick, I'm glad your mom got away, and i hope you get the bucks someday!
 
2017-06-18 12:23:55 AM  

gerbilpox: We named her after you.


OMG! Look at that face! Adorable!
 
2017-06-18 12:25:53 AM  

spontn80: iron de havilland: I just hope I can manage to outlive him, because he has a shiatload of money and I'd quite enjoy having it.

Mine gambled all my money and 400 acres of prime real estate in san diego while in vegas and then got shot dead by the Las Vegas Police after robbing a bank. I hope you get his!


Eh, my papa was the top dog at the medical practice at 144a King Street, Aberdeen.

Still, the f*cker hit me and gave me a fat lip. Don't care whatever else he's doing with his life, he hit me, personally, and abused my ma enough that she had to escape from him.

I hope he dies soon enough that I can get some money from him.
 
2017-06-18 12:26:36 AM  

gerbilpox: [img.fark.net image 442x493]

We named her after you.


Awwww, she's adorable! :)
 
2017-06-18 12:27:37 AM  

gerbilpox: [img.fark.net image 442x493]

We named her after you.

lovely.
By shear coincidence, my grandson's first name is the same as one of the last names used as an alias by my dad while he was on the lam. My daughter had no idea when she named him.
/twilightzonetheme.mp3
 
2017-06-18 12:29:14 AM  
Incidentally, to shift it down a tone, the place ma took us to escape him was at Strachan.

This being Scotland, it's pronounced "Strawn"

Jesus, I've totally said too much. Peace and love, fellow farkers xxxx
 
2017-06-18 12:29:47 AM  
markie_farkie: [img.fark.net image 425x424]

Now, I wish I had that bus. We would be the coolest people ever.
I want that hat! great shot
 
2017-06-18 12:32:30 AM  

iron de havilland: Jesus, I've totally said too much. Peace and love, fellow farkers xxxx


lol it's good for you.
I gotta say... I let that anger, that I just wanna kill him or kick his ass  anger, get in the way of a lot of things. Once I could let it go and forget it I was older, wiser and so much better off. Hang in there my friend. It gets better and he means less and less. Take the money and run
 
2017-06-18 12:36:02 AM  
Last time I saw my father he told me, "I thought I knew what I was doing when I raised you, but I didn't.  I was an asshole."  He was, but hearing him admit it stunned me.  That was the moment I had the opportunity to tell him that I was an asshole kid.  I didn't say anything.  I regret that.
 
2017-06-18 12:40:55 AM  
Same as always. Go fark yourself.
 
2017-06-18 12:46:33 AM  

spontn80: iron de havilland: Jesus, I've totally said too much. Peace and love, fellow farkers xxxx

lol it's good for you.
I gotta say... I let that anger, that I just wanna kill him or kick his ass  anger, get in the way of a lot of things. Once I could let it go and forget it I was older, wiser and so much better off. Hang in there my friend. It gets better and he means less and less. Take the money and run


It's a thing I worry about. My dad was an asshole, my bro can be an asshole, and I'd rather not be like that if I can avoid it. It's the temper - when my dad hit me, he probably thought he had a good reason to. My bro can get quite angry about stuff., too.

I'n not going to breed and inflict this weird anger that the men in my family feel the need to express.

The punchline is that Paddy adopted his daughter from Guatemala. My genetic line is f*cked, and I kind of enjoy it, because it means an end to the f*ckwit who smacked me in the chops.
 
2017-06-18 12:47:55 AM  
Up front, I want to say Thank You to all you Farkers posting in here. I end up wanting to hug almost every one of you and tell you I'm proud of you and appreciate you sharing your stories.

Lost my Dad just a couple years ago. I'd tell him I'm glad I got to know him again in the last decade or three of his life - we took a couple decades off, and then he introduced me to his new wife that was a couple years older than me. She stuck with him till he died, and he with her through her brain tumors, and I was so glad they had each other. He got to see me leave the abusive prick I was with when he came back into my life, and loved the man with whom I'll be spending the rest of my life. I think he felt peace of mind about my future because of that.
 
2017-06-18 12:48:52 AM  
Paddy had a vasectomy about 5 years ago too. Perfect FU to a dick who might want us to give him offspring.
 
2017-06-18 12:55:03 AM  

wakitu: Up front, I want to say Thank You to all you Farkers posting in here. I end up wanting to hug almost every one of you and tell you I'm proud of you and appreciate you sharing your stories.

Lost my Dad just a couple years ago. I'd tell him I'm glad I got to know him again in the last decade or three of his life - we took a couple decades off, and then he introduced me to his new wife that was a couple years older than me. She stuck with him till he died, and he with her through her brain tumors, and I was so glad they had each other. He got to see me leave the abusive prick I was with when he came back into my life, and loved the man with whom I'll be spending the rest of my life. I think he felt peace of mind about my future because of that.


Is it fair to be as negative as I am when you know your father's an asshole?

I'm really not trying to deliberately bring this thread down. But if your dad's a dick,what next?
 
2017-06-18 12:57:29 AM  
I guess I have severe daddy issues. Goodnight fark, and I hope you're as cool as you were as I go to bed ;D
 
2017-06-18 12:57:36 AM  

spontn80: markie_farkie: [img.fark.net image 425x424]

Now, I wish I had that bus. We would be the coolest people ever.
I want that hat! great shot


Took that pic with my dad's vintage Pentax 35mm. I still have the camera, and the negatives.

I did all my own darkroom work at the ripe ole age of 14.
 
2017-06-18 12:59:39 AM  

markie_farkie: I did all my own darkroom work at the ripe ole age of 14.


that makes it even better
 
2017-06-18 01:00:19 AM  
I'm not sure that sentence made sense, but I hope all y'all got the gist of it xxx
 
2017-06-18 01:08:48 AM  

iron de havilland: I'm not sure that sentence made sense, but I hope all y'all got the gist of it xxx


[ ]
 
2017-06-18 01:13:00 AM  

spontn80: iron de havilland: I'm not sure that sentence made sense, but I hope all y'all got the gist of it xxx

[ ]


Love to everyone who hasn't got such a screwed up life and the need to emote about it publicly on fark.

Take care, friends.
 
2017-06-18 01:18:29 AM  
My dad was the best. Literally never once thought "You suck, dad."  Great husband. Great employee. Little league football and baseball coach. Never coached basketball, but not sure he ever missed a game. Would even come to my cross country meets just to sit around for hours, watch me enter the woods, then watch me exit in last or so place. Always helped with homework, but never gave me the answers. A moral man who understands people that weren't perfect. No flawed man was judged by my dad.  Etc, etc, etc.

I wish only that I could come close to the father he is. I have just one kid, a 4 year old. If I can live up to that standard, I will have done everything right.
 
2017-06-18 01:22:18 AM  
My kids tell me they love me every day, they smile and laugh when they see me, and love doing things with me in part because you were such a good example of how not to lead a life. Thank you.
 
2017-06-18 01:32:47 AM  

iron de havilland: I'm not sure that sentence made sense, but I hope all y'all got the gist of it xxx


It is what it is, my friend; rest well
 
2017-06-18 01:35:51 AM  

Notabunny: My kids tell me they love me every day, they smile and laugh when they see me, and love doing things with me in part because you were such a good example of how not to lead a life. Thank you.


I can't figure out on my mobile how to streak through "not" in your post, so I am going about it the long way. Just feel like sticking up for the good dads tonight, of which there are many, but don't seem to be getting much mention in this thread.

Your post is how I feel, other yhan the"not", and I am glad that 30 years from now, it seems like your kids will be able to make posts like mine.
 
2017-06-18 01:36:21 AM  

iron de havilland: Love to everyone who hasn't got such a screwed up life and the need to emote about it publicly on fark.


Honestly. Click the link and read through some of the prior years' threads. You may feel a whole lot better about your Dad by comparison to some of the stories you'll read there.  *hug*
 
2017-06-18 01:36:54 AM  
"What would you say to your Dad today?"

Since I've never met him probably "Who are you?"
 
2017-06-18 01:50:02 AM  
My "Papa" was a fine man. I went to live with my grandparents when I was in third grade through starting high school and he was a marvelous Dad to me. Taught me about respect, work ethic, carpentry, doing the right thing even when it's harder, how to use a slide rule. He and Gram made me believe in Love That Lasts. And never once did I overhear a complaint (from either of them) that, after raising their kids, they were now stuck doing it again. So grateful to him.

Lucky enough to have another father figure in my life - the love of my Mom's life took me to my freshman "father-daughter dance" and he still calls me once a week to this day - decades later - at 93. Lived by many of the same "old school" ethics and I am grateful I get to tell him every week I love him.

I got lucky.

I also experienced a couple a-hole men playing "Daddy" in mom's life - one that beat the crap out of her and us and had us looking down a barrel of a gun...one that "took advantage" of me at 15 - didn't tell me mom about that rape till I was 42...

Overall, I'm counting my blessings.
 
2017-06-18 02:09:18 AM  
Here's the video in case my site gives you trouble.
Dear Daddy, Dan Grigor - 12-string virtuoso
Youtube iYS4EUU4aio
 
2017-06-18 02:41:53 AM  
Lost dad in 2009 to complications due to Parkinson's. Lost my brother in 2015 due to complications from ALS. Like to have one more day with them disease free. We'd go on a hike!
 
2017-06-18 02:45:29 AM  
My dad died at 66, when i was 25. He was quite a popular guy in town, always positive always joking. At home though, quite the opposite; I now recognise he suffered with depression for a long time, but always to stubborn to seek help. He'd spent most of time at home in the garden shed, and we were to leave him alone. He wasn't naturally a bad father, he provided for the family and never abusive, but always emotionally distant, very conservative. Same thing for my mom, she was completely dependent on my father. We were a large working class family with 7 children, I was the youngest, but there was not much fun.

I can't recall ever having hugged my parents, feelings were not expressed. When I was 6 one of my older brothers passed away at 16. He was never talked about again, and of course my father turned more in to himself afterwards The brother and sister closed to the brother that died couldn't cope very well, and with no emotional support from my parents they dropped out of high school and went on a path of drugs and crime. 

I simply have no memories of love for my parents. Between the depression of my parents and the troubles my two closest older siblings gave them, they were just happy that I didn't cause much trouble as the youngest and quietest, they just let me do my own thing, which I did. I made my own decisions, focused on books (luckily had a public library nearby) , and managed to escape my working class background, but sometimes I wonder what I could have achieved if I had had a bit more support.

I'm now 42 and I realize as a result of my childhood and probably my fathers genes I am emotionally stunted myself, I am unable to form a strong emotional bond with others, unable to feel intimate with others or express or even face my feelings. When I see how others lovingly interact with their children, their siblings, and their parents, that feels strange to me.   The fear of not wanting to become my father is probably one of the main reasons I never tried to start a family of my own. My other siblings are not much different, only one (the oldest and sanest one) has children. I guess it is for the better.
 
2017-06-18 02:51:08 AM  
Half the battle is showing up.

/Dad I am disappoint.
//Not really. Got over it ages ago. Mom, my sis and I had a lot more fun without you.
///And that seahag you later married.
 
2017-06-18 03:10:29 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

My dad the day I was born
 
2017-06-18 03:24:43 AM  
Duck!
 
2017-06-18 03:43:30 AM  
My son is 28. He has Down Syndrome. I get a hug every morning.  I read to him every night.  He is not judgemental.  The color of your skin, your religion and your gender preference are unimportant.  Be nice to him and he returns that in kind. I learn everyday from him.
 
2017-06-18 03:55:29 AM  
Thanks for that bit of medical history on your side that you told me to watch out for. It'll help. I'm just barely starting to feel the weight of years on this hunk of meat I'm stuck wearing.

I miss you, Dad.
 
2017-06-18 04:52:38 AM  
September 28, 2004. Almost 13 years now, and there's not a day that i don't give one thought to him.  When a parent dies, it never leaves you, no matter your age.

I did call him the day before his surgery. We would not talk again. He knew I loved him, I knew he loved me the best he could. We were about as close as we could be, two repressed eastern european of catholic heritage.

It was not an easy relationship. Unlike my brother, I did not react well to the authoritarian style of parenting.  Instead of getting angry and proving him wrong, I was wounded and scars were left.. Oh sure, I did the rebellion in my own way, but I was never free of him completely. After my parents got divorced, any new woman would be more important than me.  Plus he was manic-depressive. 

And yet, he was a far better parent to me and my brother than his parents were to him. And what frustrated him the most, that he couldn't understand why I wasn't grateful. He tried so hard not to be his parents. One of the few times I saw him so helpless was when my grandparents lit right into him.  

But I never hated my father.  I chose to appreciate the good things, the good times. The jokes, the economic talks, movie talks, dinner times. We shared a love of bad movies, of hard science fiction and a dark humor. I picked up my love for folk music from him. He introduced me to Baseball (although he prefered foodball) Doctor Who, Star Trek, Westerns and monster movies. He was a geek before they had a name for it.

 Of course he worried that I was an atheist, an artist-like person, and a liberal.  Despite that we had running jokes about "the baby deity"  My father and I would get into such horrible arguments...almost always over my choices in life.  When he crossed the line, I cut him off. I don't ever think he actually made the connection.

We were honest with each other at all times. I knew he never wanted to be a vegetable or on life support. When I saw there was nothing behind those eyes, I knew what we should do.  My brother, who was estranged from him, was freaking out. "What are we gonna do?" Without hesitation I said "Pull the plug"

So what would I say today?  Same thing every day.

"Love ya, pop"

The only difference between now and then is that it's a one sided conversation.
 
2017-06-18 04:53:32 AM  
How does it feel to be worm turds?
 
2017-06-18 04:58:57 AM  

spontn80: iron de havilland: I just hope I can manage to outlive him, because he has a shiatload of money and I'd quite enjoy having it.

Mine gambled all my money and 400 acres of prime real estate in san diego while in vegas and then got shot dead by the Las Vegas Police after robbing a bank. I hope you get his!


Mine put my brother and I inheritance up as collateral for his retirement RV, retirement car, his retirement boat.  He was going to travel around the country, like his Uncle Mike did.

He sort of hinted of his plan, I always told him to enjoy his retirement while he could. He got the stuff a few months before he retired to test it out on a few weekend trips before any big trips.

Then he died one month into his retirement and there went our inheritance.
 
2017-06-18 05:10:13 AM  

iron de havilland: I guess I have severe daddy issues. Goodnight fark, and I hope you're as cool as you were as I go to bed ;D


Not everyone gets a golden life. Not everyone gets a golden parent.  

The important thing is you let it out, that you be honest with yourself and others.

Biggest lie about parenting: you have to love and honor your parents.  Some people should NEVER have been a parent. They are horrible, selfish human beings. 

Your dad abused your mom? fark him.
Your dad abused you? fark HIM!

You are still a Farker. I can't say we all love you, but I can assure that you are tolerated to a reasonable extent.
 
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